I tell wonder-filled stories about hope and healing
I process my grief through writing, and I thought it might be helpful to process all of this together. In the coming days, I’ll share stories that I hope inspire and heal you in the days, weeks, and months ahead. If you need to cocoon and not look at screens for a while, I understand. If you’re looking for something to read that could be a light in the darkness, I want to provide that for you. Please know you’re not alone in any of this. More soon…
If you’re stressed, I’ve got something for you. I made this YouTube playlist of cozy Fall scenes with relaxing music: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLF8SWzj5Blq3uG2Zgig6jI4lOhefMF5VG
Crawl into one that looks inviting. Take a few deep breaths. Relax your face, neck, and shoulders. These scenes and this music are easy on all the senses. Even a few minutes of conscious relaxation will do wonders for your mind, body, and spirit. After some rest, you’ll bring a whole new perspective to your to-do list.
You’re doing the best you can. It’s okay to rest for a bit. Take care of you so you can take care of others.
Images from https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLF8SWzj5Blq3uG2Zgig6jI4lOhefMF5VG
This week, I had a short-lived health scare. A recent test came back with abnormal results. I was asymptomatic, as I was when diagnosed with cancer 4 years ago, so this threw me for a loop. It turned out to be a new side effect from my long-term meds that prevent cancer recurrence.
My doctor prescribed medication for a month to clear the inflammation and dietary changes to manage it since I have to stay on the meds causing this. It’s annoying. It’s also a relief that it was caught early and is reversible. I learned a lot with this recent scare. I’m leaning into these insights:
Slow down
I’m terrible at sitting still. Between the election in less than 2 weeks, climate change, and a myriad of other challenges in the world, there is a push to go go go. Do more, and faster. While this is true, it is also true that we have to rest. Take a walk. Eat well. Care for ourselves and others. Health is the greatest wealth. We are no good to anyone if we aren’t also good to ourselves. It’s not either or. It’s and.
Mortality
No matter how well we take care of ourselves, none of us will live forever. Time is our most precious resource, and we would do well to spend it on who, what, and where matters most to us.
Write
Around this time of year, I set my near-term priorities and creative focus. While writing is always a big part of my life, in 2025, it’ll be the central work I’ll do because storytelling is the work I love most & the greatest need I see in the world. I have quite a few writing projects in various states. It’s time to get them all polished up and out into the world. More on this soon.
Betting on me
Betting on myself is the best bet. I’ve never regretted it, even when things went horribly wrong. This is how I’ve learned and grown the most in my career and life. This is another reason I’m focusing on my writing in 2025.
Community
Caring for ourselves and betting ourselves is not work we do alone. It takes a village. My community and my medical team is central to my health, well-being, and creative work. I’m never alone in it. Neither are you.
Thank you for being on this journey of discovery with me. Let’s enjoy the ride. We’re all just walking each other home.
Today marks 15 years since my NYC apartment building caught fire and I was almost trapped inside. My Alive Day started my difficult journey through one of the darkest times of mental health in my life. It also brought me Phineas as an emotional support dog and it made me a writer. I learned the difficult lesson that “someday” is today because today is all we have. On that journey, I learned how and why to really live. Emerson Page, the protagonist in my novels, was born from that pain. Her story saved me. Stories can save us all.
Forever grateful for my therapist and guide, Brian McCormack, and the many friends who showed up as angels on the path. And of course to Phinny and Emerson. Cheers to all of life’s chapters.
This year I learned June is National Cancer Survivors Month. I ended active treatment (for me, that was the end of primary surgeries, intravenous chemotherapy, and radiation) at the end of May 2021 so it perfectly coincides with my official cancer-free anniversary. 3 years on and I’m feeling terrific!
Being a survivor is daily work. Diet, exercise, medication, meditation, mindfulness, sleep, and stress-reduction are incredibly important parts of my routine helping me stay cancer-free. It can sometimes be a lonely road. Unless someone has walked this path themselves, it’s difficult to understand how it feels. My body does not look nor feel the way my pre-cancer body did. It never will. I’ve had to make peace with a new normal, scars and all. I miss my pre-cancer body and I’m grateful for the one I have. We can simultaneously carry mourning and gratitude. I carry them every day.
What I never lose sight of, not for a single moment, is that I’m extraordinarily lucky to be here at all. Even luckier still to be living a life I love and to be healthy. 2024 thus far has been challenging for me — personally, academically, and professionally. The world is a difficult place. My corner of the world is difficult, too, albeit for very different reasons. And still, I’m finding and cultivating beauty, wonder, joy, and love every day, in my work and in my life.
It’s a beautiful coincidence that this morning Brian Andreas, one of my favorite artists, posted this image that he created called Superpower. I’ll be buying this one to hang in my bedroom. It’s me. My superpower is waking up every day constantly amazed at being alive. Long may it continue.
Yesterday I should have been inside working but the warmth and sun kept me outside most of the day. I was walking around gobsmacked by my beautiful Brooklyn neighborhood bursting with flowering trees. Cherry, apple, pink dogwood, lilac, redbud.
I’ve been thinking of buying a small home outside the city. On my walk yesterday I realized my neighborhood has everything I want and then some. Walkable, friendly neighborhood feel, plenty of green space, good public transit, 20 minutes by train to the beach and 20 minutes by train into Manhattan, delicious food, local shops. And unlike most other New York City neighborhoods, it’s mostly single-family homes. I ended up in exactly the right place, exactly where I wanted to be. So now I’m thinking about buying a home right here.
Sometimes, I wish I’d already done certain things. I wish I’d already met the love of my life, owned a home, had or created my dream job. And then I remember how important it is to trust the timing of our lives. Maybe I haven’t been ready for any of those things until now. And because none of that has materialized yet, I did lots of other things that have been wonderful in their own right. Maybe there were certain things I needed to learn first.
It may have taken longer than I would have liked to reach this point in life, but we arrive when we arrive. Maybe I had to travel through many other lives first to fully appreciate this moment, when anything and everything feels possible. I see my dog, Phineas, in all of it. He led me right to where I needed to be, and only then did he know it was okay to go. I just wish he was still here to see own home in springtime.
(Below are photos I took in my Brooklyn neighborhood. I can’t believe I live here!)
As breast cancer awareness month comes to a close, I wanted to share this clip of me that was filmed by Jen Aks from The Power of Gesture just as I completed active treatment in 2021. (You can see the full interview at https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLF8SWzj5Blq1S8KGan6FXCl8tvxTPUVZm). My hair had started to grow back after chemo and I was on heavy doses of steroids to repair my body from a near-lethal case of pulmonary pneumonitis (lung inflammation) caused by chemo.
Healing and hopeful, I turned my attention to my mental health, something we don’t talk enough about as it relates to physical illness. I made the conscious choice to see cancer as a gift, something that honed me as it harmed me. Though I don’t want anyone to ever go through cancer, I wouldn’t erase it from my own history if I could. It made me stronger, wiser, braver, kinder, and more compassionate. It taught me to ask for help and advocate for myself and all others who walk this road.
Because of what I went through, patients at my cancer center now have better care. My personal health data from this battle has been presented at medical conferences and written about in medical journals to better train doctors and researchers. I continue to contribute to research for better treatments and cures.
From food drops at my front door to gifts of comfort to messages of encouragement in every communication channel I have, my community had my back every step of the way. Though physically alone for much of my journey, they made sure I was never spiritually alone. They brought me joy and hope, and many times that was all I had to hang onto. There is no healing without grieving, and so I gave myself the space to grieve and mourn everything I lost. That process allowed me to recognize that while I can never get back my pre-cancer life and body, I can have something better—the life I have now. If we can let go of a dream that’s died, we can create something new and better.
Healing isn’t linear nor easy, but now on this side of history I can say that it’s absolutely worth every ounce of effort. So no matter what you’re going through now, keep going. There’s something beautiful waiting for you.
If you want to really know me, listen to this interview. The big question for me in this lifetime is, “Does everything matter or does nothing matter?” A few months ago, I gave the most personal interview I’ve ever done. My friend, mentor, and storytelling hero, John Bucher, introduced me to Josh Chambers and Leiv Parton, hosts and producer of the podcast, How Humans Change. My interview is now live. our wide-ranging conversation includes career, science, sustainability, the health of the planet, biomimicry, dinosaurs, product development, therapy, curiosity, change, the economy and capitalism, time, technology, work, culture, implicit bias, life-changing moments, storytelling, writing, poverty, trauma, writing, my book, mental health, strength, resilience, therapy, fear, courage, my apartment building fire, how my plane got struck by lightning, and so much more. Despite these dark topics, there is a lot of light, fun, laughter, and healing in this interview. It’s the most personal interview I’ve ever given, and some of the details I reveal about my personal path and past I have never discussed publicly before now. I hope you enjoy the podcast episode and that it inspires you to live the best life you can imagine.
This week I’m speaking at a social justice event at a high school in New York. The basis of my talk is about mental health and healing. My main points are:
-We can say our weak things in a strong voice.
-The function of freedom is to free others by telling our story.
-We need to show up for others the way we want them to show up for us.
What do you think?
Yesterday, I did an interview for a podcast called How Humans Change. I spoke with hosts Josh Chambers and Leiv Parton about change, transformation, death, trauma, writing, mental health, choices, poverty, technology, career, the passage of time, therapy, science, dinosaurs, biomimicry, super powers, and how healing, while difficult, is the best motivator of all. It’s my most personal interview to-date.
Some people who hear it will be surprised, and others will have answers to some long outstanding questions that I have rarely discussed in the past. I’m making a more concerted effort to address these topics thoughtfully, authentically, and often.
I always love meeting members of my tribe and these guys are definitely part of it. Thank you to my amazing friend and mentor, John Bucher, for connecting me to them. I’ll share the episode link when it’s live. Until then, give their first season a listen by clicking here.
Christa Avampato 