Tag: grateful

creativity

New hair. New me. New beginnings.

Christa Avampato

New hair. New me. My hair has quite a backstory. I haven’t sat in a hair salon chair in 5.5 years. Chemo, hormone suppression therapy, and regrowth took a lot longer than I expected, and the fear of letting go of any of my hair didn’t help. But I faced up to that fear, and here are the results from my first professional haircut since December 2020.

I’m so grateful to Penelope Love at Happy Sunshine Hair (and my wonderful Jane Cooke who connected me to Penelope!) for teaching me how to love and take care of my chemo curls that are now here to stay. She used my existing products. No upsells. No criticism. Just her talents, teaching, and support. She’s an independent stylist who rents her chair at a hair collective meaning the fee for the cut goes entirely to her, not a big brand. Happy Sunshine is a collective of 10 stylists making their way together in the beauty industry in NYC, a fashion capital of the world. (I’ll put a link to their site and Penelope’s in the comments below if you want to check them out!)

For most people, chemo curls fade after a couple of years, but I’m one of the few who is now a permanent curly girl. Penelope showed me how to own that with pride instead of mourning my original hair.

This weekend also marked a big medical shift. About 99% of the letrozole is now out of my system. The lupron will be hanging around in my system for a few more months while the tamoxifen ramps up. We’ll see how that goes!

I’m already feeling a lot better: less chronic pain in my joints and muscles, more flexibility, less fatigue and insomnia, fewer hot flashes, and less depression.

Cheers to starting a new chapter. I’m excited to celebrate with a vacation in Canada starting Monday. Let’s go have an adventure. I’m ready!

creativity

Day 1: What these meds taught me

Christa Avampato
Photo of me after acupuncture this week

And here we go! This morning, I took my last pill of letrozole. This afternoon, I will see my oncologist, get the prescription for my new medication that will hopefully have fewer side effects and help me feel better, and start a cutting edge monitoring program that detects even a hint of recurrence at the cellular level. (More on that in a later post.) Happily, I will NOT have to get a lupron shot as part of my appointment; I’m done with those, too.

Just before I woke up this morning, I had a dream where I was standing at a podium, talking about what I learned from cancer. I woke up and wrote down as much as I could remember. Cancer taught me:

1.) to give myself grace and give myself a break

2.) I have the right to feel all my feelings

3.) to be tough and more empathetic

4.) I can feel complex, conflicting emotions

5.) to be fearless

6.) how to ask for help and stopped feeling any shame about anything

7.) to let my light shine.

8.) there’s absolutely nothing wrong with loving the crap out of everything.

9.) to go for it, whatever it is.

10.) to tell my friends I love them all the time.

11.) I don’t need to spend time doing anything I don’t want to do. If I can’t do it with my whole heart, then I just don’t do it. If I’m in the midst of something and getting no joy from it, I stop.

12.) stop pushing through just to prove I could. To live, sure. Out of of some made up obligation, nah. The word “should” has left my vocabulary.

13.) to love working out every day.

14.) to take a lot of pride in taking care of my health – my diet, my stress level, my mental, physical, and emotional health. I’m healthier and more whole than I’ve ever been. 

15.) to be grateful for all of it.

Thank you to everyone who helped me along this journey. I still have 5 more years of medications, and I’m celebrating this milestone. I’ll take every win I can get. Long may they continue.

creativity

Day 25: How I start every morning since being diagnosed with cancer

Christa Avampato
Central Park sunrise while walking my soul dog, Phineas. NYC. Photo by Christa Avampato.

“This is a wonderful day. I have never seen this one before.” ~Maya Angelou

Since being diagnosed with cancer in October 2020, I’ve started every morning the exact same way. I open my eyes, stretch my arms, and say, “Whew! Got another one!” I say this no matter how I’m feeling, and no matter what the day ahead holds for me.

I’m grateful for all my days, especially the tough ones (and there are a lot of tough ones), because at least I got to have them. And that wasn’t always an assumption. Some nights on this journey, I went to sleep with the fear that I might not wake up again. That’s not me being dramatic; that was a science-backed possibility. It’s never left me. It never will.

Now that I know how short my life could have been, I’m unendingly grateful for how long it now could be thanks to science, medicine, joy, and love. What a blessing to see every wonderful day.

creativity

How I’m celebrating my birthday all month

Christa Avampato

My birthday is on March 17th – St. Patrick’s Day. 🍀 While I love to see all the decorations and parades, it unfortunately makes going out on my actual birthday a little… messy. So, I choose to celebrate the entire month of March and fill it with joy.

Though some people bemoan getting older, I never do. I know many people who never had the privilege to get older. I almost didn’t either. I’m so grateful to get every minute of this life. I love my birthday, and truthfully I’m so happy to get every day that each one feels like my birthday.

This year, I put together a list of things I’d love to do this birthday month. It’s mostly a list of things I’ve never done before and places I’ve never been. Most of them have been on my list for a long time and I want to mark my birthday by weaving them into the fabric of my life. Some are free. Some are paid. Some are simple. Some are more elaborate. Some are on specific dates and some can be done at any time, or when weather permits.

Have you done any of these things? Are there any I missed that you would add? I’d love your input and ideas.

Here’s the list (so far!) in no particular order:

  • The Morgan Library visit (Free Fridays with music)
  • Roosevelt Island Tram ride
  • A Gratitude Walk in Central Park / Prospect Park (Maybe March 20th – the start of Spring)
  • Jim Dale storytelling show (March 9th)
  • See Six on Broadway
  • Lincoln Center show (March 11th)
  • Walk across the Brooklyn Bridge with a bagel and coffee
  • ARTECHOUSE visit
  • Spa day at World Spa in Brooklyn
  • Japan Village in Industry City
  • Tea at Brooklyn High Low
  • Queens County Farm Museum
  • Cooking class – would love suggestions!
  • NYC’s Secrets & Lies show at Seaport Museum (March 29th)
  • Ghost tour – would love suggestions!
  • Catacombs under St. Patrick’s Old Cathedral
  • Pizza (See No Evil underground at 50th Street; Arthur & Sons; Roey’s; Paul Gee’s; Williamsburg Pizza)
  • Brooklyn Grange tour – they do yoga there, too
  • AIA New York Architecture tour by boat
  • Go to a reading party with Reading Rhythms
  • Ford Foundation garden
  • Go to Nonna’s of the World Restaurant
  • The NY Earth Room – 141 Wooster Street, New York. The “Broken Kilometer” in SoHo – sister installation to the Earth Room. It’s 500 polished brass rods in a silent, high-ceilinged room. It’s a space designed for pure contemplation. Both are free, silent, and very powerful.
  • Paloma the Bakery
  • Lectures on Tap (March 24th)
  • Redecorating my apartment
  • Raphael exhibit at the Met Museum (March 29th)
  • See a movie at Rooftop Cinema Club
  • A class at Brooklyn Brainery
  • A dining oasis inside the 50th Street 1 Station with a cozy cafe Tiny Dancer, craft cocktails at Nothing Really Matters, and See No Evil’s excellent pizza.
  • Hilmalayan Salt Cave and Red Light Sauna at FloLo Holistic
  • Mani / Pedi
  • Acupuncture sessions – started on March 2nd
  • Ellicottville visit (Feb 27th – March 1st)
  • Spend an hour at a beautiful library (like General Society of Mechanics and Tradesmen on 44th St or The New York Public Library’s East Room) writing a letter to my future self to be opened in 10 years.
  • Candlelight Concert at the Church of the Heavenly Rest featuring the best works of Hans Zimmer (Interstellar, Inception, The Lion King). (March 20th)
  • Ophelia Lounge’s “Luminosity” – Located at the top of the historic Beekman Tower, this lounge is currently doing an installation called Luminosity. They have filled the space with 1,000 flickering candles and projections of the Northern Lights. It’s quiet, incredibly beautiful, and feels like a literal “temple” to the city.
  • “First Light” at Pier 3. Grab a coffee and go to Pier 3 in Brooklyn Bridge Park. It has a “labyrinth” garden made of hedges and is one of the best spots to watch the sun hit the Manhattan skyline.
  • Electric Lemon’s Terrace: Perched on the 24th floor in Hudson Yards, this terrace has a massive Jaume Plensa sculpture and incredible, unobstructed views of the Hudson River. It’s much quieter than the nearby “Edge” and feels very sophisticated.
  • The Staple Street Skybridge: Go to Tribeca and find this tiny, iconic bridge connecting two buildings over a cobblestone alley. It’s one of the most “old New York” photo ops in the city.
  • Sunset from the South Brooklyn Ferry: Instead of a tourist cruise, take the NYC Ferry (South Brooklyn route) from Wall Street to Sunset Park. It’s $2.90 for a 45-minute “cruise” that passes right under the bridges.
  • A Sound Bath at Woom Center: They use 3D sound and “vibrational therapy” in a dark room. It’s an incredible way to clear the mental clutter and focus on the health and strength of your body.
  • Evening Star at SVA Flatiron Project Space: This is an immersive exhibition (running through March 19th) that explores “feminine folk wisdom” and ancestral magic. It’s a very cool, atmospheric space to wander through.
  • Arte Museum New York: A brand-new immersive digital art space in Chelsea that engages sight, sound, and even scent. It features “Eternal Nature” exhibits like crashing waterfalls and blooming flower fields—a perfect sensory celebration of life.
  • Gratitude postcard writing
  • A “Life at Sea” Visit to the Brooklyn Museum. They have an exhibit right now called Oliver Jeffers: Life at Sea. It is whimsical, meditative, and focuses on our connection to the ocean and the environment. It is a great way to spend a quiet afternoon.
  • The Battle of Brooklyn: Fought and Remembered at the Center for Brooklyn History
  • Chamber Magic at the Lotte New York Palace. It’s held in a private suite at the Palace Hotel. It’s “parlor magic” for a small audience in cocktail attire.
  • The “Lobby of the Future”: Visit the brand-new STORIED Chelsea. It’s a landmark building that was recently restored into a stunning event and art space. 
creativity

Living in gratitude on my 5-year cancer journey

Christa Avampato
Me outside the Perlmutter Cancer Center in NYC on October 29th after seeing my surgeon on the 5-year anniversary of my discharge from surgery

Last week I celebrated 5 years since the bilateral mastectomy that saved my life and removed any sign of cancer from my body. My friend, Wayne, describes journeys like this as a log flume. When we begin, we’re at the top of a terrifying drop. We’re scared, nervous, unsure, hopeful, confused, anxious. All the emotions of the human condition are raw and tumbled in our minds and hearts. We’re trying to keep our head up and our eyes ahead. we don’t want to take that plunge into the unknown. But we have to. We can’t turn around. The only way out is through.

And so, we take a deep breath, and we let ourselves fall. We face all the things we were afraid of, and then some. In every health challenge journey, circumstances arise that we never expected. In my case, I had to have another surgery 3 weeks later because lymph nodes that biopsied negative came back positive in the pathology. All the nodes from that second surgery were, thankfully, negative. Then I nearly died, twice, from a life-threatening allergy to Taxol, a common chemo drug, that shut down my lungs in the middle of COVID. My oncologist at the time thought I was being overly dramatic about my side effects when in fact I was suffocating. (I fired her from my care team, and she no longer sees patients.) My pulmonology team thought my lungs might be permanently scarred and I may need to have an oxygen tank for the rest of my life. Thanks to science and diligence, I fully recovered and now I’m healthier and stronger than ever.

I spent the evening of my 5-year surgery anniversary producing and hosting NYC’s Secrets & Lies – Ghost Stories. The irony isn’t lost on me—that I nearly became a ghost myself with so much life I still wanted to live and that storytelling and creativity have been two of my greatest teachers and healers.

In the wee hours of the morning after my surgery, I woke up in recovery. High as a kite on a massive amount of drugs, my nurse ran around the hospital to find me a turkey sandwich and to this day it’s the best thing I’ve ever eaten. I happily gobbled it down, watched a Harry Potter film on my tablet, and cried enormous tears of gratitude. There was less of my body in the world, but I was still alive, still breathing, and cancer-free. My greatest wish that morning was to see the sunrise so my nurse got me out of bed and wheeled me to one of the lounge spaces in the recovery wing so I could see the sun come up over the East River and the FDR Drive. I will never forget that view.

My surgery team members came to see me before I was discharged. My plastic surgeon who had placed the first installment of my reconstruction – the tissue expanders that would go on to cause 14 months of constant pain – told me that I woke up from anesthesia very quickly, before I’d even left the operating room. I began gushing how grateful and thankful I was to the whole surgery team. She said the entire team was laughing and crying right along with me. I have zero memory of this, and I wish I’d been fully conscious to remember it. Leave it to me to bring the funny in the darkest of times!

Then my breast surgeon came to check me before discharge. Through our masks, I thanked her for saving me and she said, “Sweetie, I’m just part of the team. And every person in this hospital shows up every day with the only goal being to help you heal. And you will heal. And how you feel now – the pain and the fear – it won’t always feel this way. We’re going to get through this together.” My dear friend, Marita, picked me up from the hospital and drove me home to where my sister and my dog were waiting for me. In the following months, so many beautiful friends sent me care packages, messages, cards, and food, and came to visit me from a distance – outside and masked. The trying times we made it through! I’m so thankful for everyone who cheered me on and helped me in a million different ways. I wouldn’t be here without you.

It’s fitting that exactly 5 years at that exact time she came to see me in recovery that I had my 5-year check-up with my breast surgeon. She gave me a clean bill of health, and we talked about the next 5 years of meds. She eased my mind and soothed my heart, as she always does, with science and compassion. We have a plan to keep me cancer-free, and I feel ready to start this next chapter.

I left her office with tears in my eyes and my head, heart, and spirit filled with gratitude for every second of these past 5 years. I’m even grateful for the worst days on this journey because I got to live them. Every morning, my first thought is, “Whew, I got another one!” Long may that tradition continue.

Below are photos of me on the day of my surgery and the morning after when I woke up and saw the sunrise

creativity

How to lead when we lose

Christa Avampato
Prospect Park, Brooklyn – Fall 2024. Photo by Christa Avampato.

On this difficult day, I have some things to say about gratitude, storytelling and leadership. Hundreds of thousands of people heeded the call ~100 days ago to not do something but do everything to try to help Vice President and Governor Walz win. I’m sorry neither of them took the stage at Howard University last night to say thank you, so I will. I’m abundantly grateful to all of you, and for everything you taught me during this campaign. You showed up, generously giving your money, time, and talents. That means a lot to me. You mean a lot to me.

On leadership:
It was a huge missed opportunity that they didn’t address supporters and the nation last night. Even though we didn’t know the final count, it was important to say something, anything, and then say they’d be back today to say more. We needed them, and they left without saying a word. That’s not leadership. It doesn’t matter how disappointed they were. We’re all disappointed. They had a real opportunity to maintain a connection with people and they didn’t. They went out the back door and sent the campaign manager to talk to the crowd at Howard and the nation. Vice President Harris will deliver remarks at Howard University today at 4pm. That’s too late. They missed the moment. And sadly, tragically, their opponents didn’t. There’s a lesson in that for us, too. Leaders have to lead, even when they lose. Especially when they lose.

On storytelling:
We have to take a long, hard look in the mirror, and at the words we said and didn’t say in this campaign. We need to meet the audience where they are, listen, understand, and work together to craft a better story for all of us. We didn’t do that and the election results show it. How things have been done on campaigns in the past no longer matters because we’re no longer living in the time of “how things are done.” We need better stories and methods. We need to be better listeners and storytellers. Plato said, “Those who tell stories rule society.” That’s true then and true now.

So that’s my focus moving forward – leadership and storytelling. I’ll stay curious, keep learning, improve my craft, and get better. I’ll continue to “be a lamp, or a lifeboat, or a ladder,” as Rumi so beautifully said. I will continue to, “walk out of my house like a shepherd” every single day. I will listen and love. I hope you’ll join me.

creativity

Celebrating National Cancer Survivors Month

Christa Avampato
Superpower by Brian Andreas

This year I learned June is National Cancer Survivors Month. I ended active treatment (for me, that was the end of primary surgeries, intravenous chemotherapy, and radiation) at the end of May 2021 so it perfectly coincides with my official cancer-free anniversary. 3 years on and I’m feeling terrific!

Being a survivor is daily work. Diet, exercise, medication, meditation, mindfulness, sleep, and stress-reduction are incredibly important parts of my routine helping me stay cancer-free. It can sometimes be a lonely road. Unless someone has walked this path themselves, it’s difficult to understand how it feels. My body does not look nor feel the way my pre-cancer body did. It never will. I’ve had to make peace with a new normal, scars and all. I miss my pre-cancer body and I’m grateful for the one I have. We can simultaneously carry mourning and gratitude. I carry them every day.

What I never lose sight of, not for a single moment, is that I’m extraordinarily lucky to be here at all. Even luckier still to be living a life I love and to be healthy. 2024 thus far has been challenging for me — personally, academically, and professionally. The world is a difficult place. My corner of the world is difficult, too, albeit for very different reasons. And still, I’m finding and cultivating beauty, wonder, joy, and love every day, in my work and in my life.

It’s a beautiful coincidence that this morning Brian Andreas, one of my favorite artists, posted this image that he created called Superpower. I’ll be buying this one to hang in my bedroom. It’s me. My superpower is waking up every day constantly amazed at being alive. Long may it continue.

creativity

A Year of Yes: Using this time for reflection

Christa Avampato

“Something will grow from all you are going through. And it will be you.” ~TobyMac

My medical emergency this week has offered me an opportunity for intense reflection time in every area of my life. I don’t have any answers or revelations yet. I’m still down in the weeds of it all. But I’m trying and healing. And right now, that’s enough.

creativity

In the pause: Happy Thanksgiving from New York City

Christa Avampato

23737930_10104014965393976_7867983202038481308_oA gorgeous and sunny Thanksgiving morning. Phin and I bundled up and went to Central Park. Thankful today for my sweet pup, Phineas, this gorgeous park, my homey Upper West Side neighborhood, and all dogs everywhere. And of course for all of you. Happy Thanksgiving. 🐾🦃

 

creativity

Wonder: A look back at my 2016

Christa Avampato

Today as I travel to the Philadelphia area to ring in the new year, I’m thinking about the wonderful things that happened in 2016. I opened up my wonder jar that I created in January 2016, and this is what I found:

1.) I got a new job through a recruiter on LinkedIn in healthcare working with artificial intelligence. And it came with a promotion in title and a raise to boot!

2.) I went to Cuba, a lifelong dream trip, and met some fabulous people whom I’m sure I will travel with in the future.

3.) I moved into a new apartment in a new neighborhood and discovered a whole new side of D.C.

4.) I went to Puerto Rico for a dear friend’s wedding.

5.) My amazing friends Ken and Tom got married, as did my dear friends Rachael and Jon. I was so thrilled to celebrate them and share in their joy with some of my favorite people in the world. Love wins!

6.) I made new friends, reconnected with others whom I hadn’t connected with in years, and had the best times spending time with so many friends whom I love.

7.) I turned 40, and had one of the very best birthday parties of my life thanks to wonderful friends.

8.) I finished my book Where the Light Enters, and a small press is considering publishing it.

9.) I greatly expanded my freelance writing opportunities, and am looking forward to even more of that in early 2017.

10.) Phineas came through a couple of difficult health challenges like a champ, and is now super healthy at the ripe old age of 7. We took a lot of long and happy walks together all over D.C. and we had plenty of snuggle time. I also found a great daycare / boarding place and a dog walker that take wonderful care of him.

11.) I saved a down payment with the hope of buying my very first home in 2017, and got my finances in order in a better way than ever before.

12.) I attended fun cultural events all over Washington, D.C. all year long.

13.) I had one of my collages accepted and shown at an art gallery in D.C.

14.) I expanded my personal art collection with works from all over the world that inspire me on a daily basis.

15.) I started the Breaking Bread Podcast.

16.) I had the chance to support a number of nonprofits that I admire and that make this world a better place.

17.) I greatly enhanced my cooking and baking skills, churning out some delicious and nutritious meals from my kitchen.

18.) I worked on my first television project as an Associate Producer.

19.) I learned to trust my gut more than ever before. I laughed, I smiled, and I loved.

20.) I saw a ton of great live music in D.C. including Josh Ritter, Andra Day, Elephant Revival, 2 Cellos, Janelle Monae, Rhiannon Giddeons, The American Pops, Ben Harper, and Grace Potter.

21.) I created and taught creative writing workshops for kids at 826DC.

22.) I got to shine a light on creative entrepreneurship, art, and writing through The Relational Economy, American Public Media, the Lits to Lens podcast, and the What’s Next videocast.

I’m sure 2017 will bring many more blessings and learnings. And that wonder jar was a wonderful thing. I plan to start a new one tomorrow in honor of the new year.