I knew the Year of the Rooster would be a wild one. But I didn’t have any idea what wild meant until these past few weeks. So much is shifting and changing. Every day I’m on a roller coaster doing my best to hang on and stay flexible. Just when I feel like I’m at my breaking point, I take a deep breath, call a friend, and find my center again. And so it goes. And so we go. One day, one moment, one heartbeat at a time. More than ever, I’m learning to be present and fierce. I’m learning what a gift it is to love and be loved and to smile. I’m learning that profound change can find any of us at any time. Be here now. That’s the only work we need to do.
Tag: future
In the pause: Don’t stumble over something behind you
“Don’t stumble over something behind you.” ~Seneca
Whenever I’m faced with something disappointing, I feel is deeply and and immediately. I strip out that phase of denial and move right into grief. While grief is a painful, my willingness to feel every ounce of it jumpstarts the healing process. Grief is a lens I use to refocus my energy and get clear about what I need and want. It’s not fun, but it’s necessary. The great benefit of this brutal process is that once it’s done, it’s done. I don’t look back; I let it go and move forward. I have many times in my life that I’m glad I’ll never repeat, and I’m also grateful for all of the learnings that those times held. They have given me empathy, strength, and courage, three of the things I value most.
In the pause: Invest in love
“Keep loving people. It’s the antidote to all that afflicts us.” ~ John Pavlovitz
I am holding this thought in my mind more and more as time goes on. With all that is swirling in my own world and the world at-large, I am focused now more than ever on love. It’s the energy that heals and comforts. It’s the force that binds us together, and being together is our greatest asset toward progress in all realms. Hang in there, friends, and hang in there together.
In the pause: Things have to fall apart to come together
Whenever something doesn’t work out the way we planned, we can feel cheated, disappointed, and sad. But what if we could look at our new situation from a different angle? What if things not going how we planned is the best thing that ever happened to us? What if that opens the way for things to go better than we ever imagined possible? Let’s try to manifest that and see what happens. Sometimes things have to fall apart to come together.
In the pause: Change your mindset to change the world
“There is freedom waiting for you, on the breezes of the sky. And you ask “What if I fall?” Oh but my darling, what if you fly?” ~ Erin Hanson
Whenever we attempt something new, too often we jump to worst case scenarios. And there’s good reason for that. We are programmed to self-protect and preserve. For our ancient ancestors, there were so many dangers in the world that were matters of life and death. Now in our somewhat civil society (though goodness, are we ever testing the bounds of civility these days!), our old programming is still in place even though we can be much more daring now and live to tell the tale.
Whenever I’m starting something new, I think of Eric Hanson and his beautiful poem. We feel so trapped in situations that don’t make us happy, but truly, we can set ourselves free. I’m not saying that it’s easy, or that there isn’t an ample amount of fear and worry associated with freedom. Friends, freedom isn’t ever free, but my goodness, is it ever worth it to try to do something that we’re passionate about. Something that matters. Something that makes a difference in the lives of others.
Yes, you may fall. Lord knows I fall every day in one way or another. I have failed miserably at things I wished so much to succeed at. But I learned. Damn, did I learn. And those falls make me tough and resilient, and they also make me empathetic and kind. I get up again, and little by little I steady my gait, get set, and try to fly again. I know that someday I’ll be soaring. You will, too. You’ll see if you just give yourself the chance. You are so much greater, so much wiser, and so much more capable than you ever give yourself credit for. So here’s your credit – it’s yours for the taking. Go do something wild and wonderful with your life. Be it small or great, let it fill you to the brim with joy and happiness, hope and purpose. The world is waiting to celebrate the beauty that is you. And so am I.
In the pause: Holding myself accountable
I’m a voracious list maker, mostly because it helps me to remain accountable for moving my ideas forward. Since the weekend, I’ve been making a list of things I need to do to test out my new business ideas for on-demand and virtual guidance counseling for students. So far, I have a few to-dos on the books and they are:
- Writing to my high school guidance counselor who inspired this idea to give him a long overdue thank you and to let him know his efforts were not in vain. I actually made it to adulthood in mostly one piece and am now giving back.
- Making a list of people I’d like to contact to do research on the roles of guidance counselors and school administrators so I can understand their pain points and how this company can be of greatest use to the kids in their schools and to their staff.
- Developing a light-weight version of a pitch deck that lays out the purpose, the impact, the methods to achieve that purpose, and my many questions.
- Setting up time to meet with a couple of friends who are going to give me advice on the aforementioned pitch deck.
- Setting up time to meet with a technology development shop that I love and want to work with.
- Making a list of influential people who I want to contact about the idea to ask for their help, guidance, and ideas.
- Set up a meeting with a designer who I hope will help me with branding, a logo, etc. She reached out to me through Instagram and I love her work!
- Reading, reading, reading. Researching, researching, researching. Learning, learning, learning.
I will say that I’m loving every moment of this. I’m loving it so much in fact that it doesn’t even seem like work. And that, my friends, is the point. We should find something that we love to do so much that the time flies and it makes us feel alive and free.
In the pause: All children deserve to rise
I’m so tired of the acceptance that zip code is destiny. My entire life is a rejection of that belief, and I will keep rejecting it until I’m out of breath and out of strength. Somewhere along the way, our society decided that a child born into difficulty on the south side of Chicago won’t have the same chance to rise to their potential as a child born with every privilege on the south side of Central Park. Is the life of that child in Chicago any less valuable that the life of that child in New York? I don’t think so. I know you don’t think so either. So let’s change that, together. Let’s stack the odds in favor of all kids everywhere.
There are too many kids who are cold, and tired, and hungry, and frustrated. There are too many kids who don’t see a way up and out of their circumstances because no one they know ever got up or out. Imagine what our world would be like if every child alive right now got everything they needed to grow up healthy, educated, kind, and confident. That’s the image I hold in my mind as I think about ways to offer virtual and on-demand guidance counseling to kids across the country, and eventually across the globe. It’s a big vision, a big dream, and our kids deserve nothing less. They have to know that somewhere out in the world, there is an adult who believes in them, who is holding a light for them so that they can find their way forward even in the darkest of times. To that child, that one light can make all the difference. And that’s worth fighting for.
In the pause: It’s okay to collapse
“For a star to be born, there is one thing that must happen: a gaseous nebula must collapse. So collapse. Crumble. This is not your destruction. This is your birth.” ~Zoe Skylar
We work so hard to keep things, even ourselves, from falling apart. Somehow we have managed to associate becoming undone with being completely done, forever. Don’t be ashamed of your undoing or your failure, your missteps or your losses. This is a cycle of life – catching and releasing, holding on and letting go, rising up and falling down. There’s so much to be learned and experienced in the collapse. There you can rest, restore, and rebuild. Wiser, braver, stronger, more focused, and with the knowledge that no matter what life throws at you, you will find a way to shine.
In the pause: This 5th grade basketball team in NJ exemplifies unity and equality
Need a feel-good story to fill your heart today? Here’s one. This 5th grade basketball team voted unanimously to forfeit the rest of their season because they refused to play without the two girls who are on their team. This is what unity and equality look like. So proud of these kids! Warning: you’ll need a tissue when you read the details in the article. It will bring tears to your eyes in the best possible way.
5th grade coed basketball team chooses to forfeit season instead of kicking girls off the team
In the pause: When has your gut ever been wrong?
Yesterday, I was having a discussion in which I mentioned that I didn’t want my gut instinct to cause me to pass up what seemed like a good opportunity. The person I was talking to paused, and said, “Christa, when has your gut ever been wrong?” Never. My gut has never been wrong. And my biggest regrets in life happened when I didn’t listen to my gut. Sure enough, I did a little more research on the big, shiny opportunity I was considering and it has enormous ethical and financial issues that would compromise my personal values. I’ll pass on it with grace and professionalism, but pass I will. A big thank you to my very intelligent gut, and to the wise person who told me to always listen to it. Always. Message received.
Christa Avampato 