creativity

My workplace dream about layoffs and writing comedy

This morning I had a workplace dream so odd I woke up laughing, something I used to do often and haven’t done in years. I can’t keep it to myself because it was, as dreams often are, full of entertainment and insights too good not to share.

I was working at a large media company with a bird as the logo (not the one owned by a billionaire lunatic, the other one). I was sitting in a very grey cubicle in a very grey office in front of my computer when an email popped up. There was a huge layoff and reshuffling of jobs at the company. Most of the company had been laid off but not me. I still had a job and that job had a two-word description stated in the email: Christa Avampato – writes jokes. My boss was J Lo.

My colleagues, and now former colleagues, were a mix of people I knew from my many past real-life jobs and people who were either figments of my imagination or who I’ve yet to meet. Though there was going to be a big meeting with everyone who still had a job the following day at 4pm, I huddled in separate corners of our very grey office with my team, past and present to talk about the reorg.

With the ones who’d been let go, I expressed how sad and outraged I was, wondering aloud how the company was going to get by without them. I was very upset they were leaving. Ironically, none of them were upset and were all making plans to go to dinner to celebrate their departure. They asked me to join them even though I still had a job. Sadly the dream ended before that dinner happened.

With the ones who still had jobs like me, an odd shift of energy happened. We all sat around in a circle, and immediately began drawing up plans of how to move forward. They were all very eager to just get on with it and began drafting up new plans that looked very much like the old plans put together by our now-former colleagues but no one except me saw the irony in that. I asked why we would throw out the old for the new when the new was a replica of the old with nothing more than a shiny new package. “That’s the way it is, Christa,” I was told.

Then the de-facto leader of this little group asked if there were any questions. And if you know me, you know I always have questions and I always ask them. Apparently I’m as utterly myself in dreams as I am in my waking hours. I had two questions:

1.) Why was I, a person who thinks comedy is hands-down the most difficult genre to write and who is by full admission only occasionally and only situationally funny, tasked with writing jokes? If you asked me to tell you a joke right now, I’d draw a total blank. I am by nature a serious person, sometimes too serious.

The leader of the group (the man with the clipboard, pen, and glasses who I’ve never seen before in my life) said, “That’s the point, Christa. If it makes you laugh, then it must be funny.”

As an aside, in real-life, I find most things in life amusing and I am a very easy audience member. I pretty much smile and laugh the whole time. I know it’s damn hard to be really funny and I applaud and support anyone brave enough to give it a try, even if they aren’t funny at all (to me).

2.) Why is it that when companies say they need to cut costs and save money, they often cut people who actually do the work and rarely the people at the very top who do so little work and make so much money? Apparently I had done my research (dreams imitating real life again.) The CEO of this bird media company made $3,000 a minute. That’s roughly $375million / year. Why wasn’t he being asked to give up anything while my friends who made only a tiny sliver of that and did all the work were let go?

Silence from the whole group. J Lo walked by and didn’t even look at us.

My parting thought as I headed back to my grey cubicle was, “Man, they’re really going to wish they hadn’t put me in charge of writing jokes.” Then I woke up.

It’s a shame my dream didn’t include that 4pm company meeting the next day because I’m confident I would’ve had time to come up with some real zingers and I probably would have been fired in a really fantastic, dramatic way that could have made for good comedy. Maybe next time.

I woke up to write down this dream and then walked into the kitchen to make coffee. I’ve got a long day of writing ahead of me that unfortunately won’t include any jokes. (Though maybe some humor in the academic writing I need to do today wouldn’t be such a bad thing!) As I sat down at my laptop, I decided to write up this dream to share with you and a few insights from it bubbled up to the top. They seem worth sharing, too.

1.) Love the company you work with and the company you keep. No matter how long you live, life will always be too short to do anything else. Many of my now dearest friends (and more than one of my past romantic partners) I met through work.

2.) You can be and do lots of things, even those you aren’t particularly good at when you first begin, so long as you love the practice (comedy included!)

3.) Given my love of and belief in the value of practice, and lots of it, it’s ironic that I’ve worked with Carnegie Hall for almost 4 years—a storied institution where practice is so foundational that it’s been their unofficial motto for almost 100 years. It’s also ironic that this unofficial motto started as a situational joke. It’s credited to violinist Mischa Elman who was born the same year Carnegie Hall opened (1891) and made his debut there in 1908 at the age of 17.

4.) For years I’ve wanted to write something funny but always told myself comedy isn’t my thing. Leave that to the experts, to people who are naturally funny, I thought. But maybe this dream was meant to shake things up in my real-life. Maybe it was a message that funny is my future, or at least part of it.

If that 4pm company meeting shows up in a future dream, I’ll be sure to let you know. Maybe my new boss, J Lo, will run it. I sure hope so because I’ve definitely got some funny questions to ask her.

creativity

A Year of Yes: Hasan Minhaj has advice for every artist

I went to a fantastic PEN America event on Sunday to close the PEN World Voices M Word series. These are my favorite words of wisdom from Hasan Minhaj and Wajahat Ali:

“Every artist needs to play offense. You’re not asking [gatekeepers] for permission. Ask for support. Decide that your work is happening with or without them.” ~Hasan Minhaj

“What advice do you have for artists?” ~Wajahat Ali
“1. Move to the city that has a community
2. Immerse yourself in the community
3. Rise and help others find their voice
4. When you succeed, don’t be an asshole” ~Hasan Minhaj

creativity

In the pause: Thank you to Caveat for the learning served up with laughs

caveat-cardIf you make someone laugh, you know they’re listening. And once they’re listening, they’re paying attention. And once they’re paying attention, you can make a connection, drive empathy, and generate understanding. Sadly, our world is one in which science needs allies. At Caveat, a new performance space on the Lower East Side of Manhattan, science’s unlikely, though remarkably effective, ally is comedy. For the past few weeks, I’ve been consumed with NaNoWriMo and the first draft of my second novel. Having surpassed 30,000 words in 17 days, a comedy show is what I needed tonight. Plus, this gave me a chance to check out a cool new event space, hear from Dustin Growick, a scientist I admire, talking about his love for dinosaurs, and learn something about science and art. A perfect combo.

The event, aptly named Dinosaurs vs. Paintings, pitted two teams against one another to talk about which field of study is most impressive. It’s a funny debate combo, and the host, Meg Pierson, was delightfully self-deprecating and unapologetically passionate in her love for a good battle between academics. Along the way, the audience learned about the latest anatomical discoveries in paleontology (feathers, colors, and teeth, oh my!), the insanely forward-thinking insight that Hieronymus Bosch wrapped around his Garden of Earthly Delights, the Gardner Museum heist, and the vast variety of flora and fauna that existed during the time of the dinosaurs (~165 million years of time if you want specifics.)

Every minute, I found myself saying to my friends, “Really? That’s true? I had no idea!” And that’s the point of Caveat. The world may feel like it’s on fire at this strange moment in our history, and it’s still full of amazing discoveries and insights. While we may be completely wrapped up in our own day-to-day lives and times, our existence as a species is just the blink of an eye as far as the Universe is concerned. This too shall pass, and our job is to make the most of it while we’re here. It’s a humbling insight, and that alone was worth the price of admission.

Thank you Caveat and all the performers for a wonderful evening. I’m sure I’ll be back, ready to laugh and learn. Check out their full event calendar for science, comedy, books, live podcast recordings, and more.

creativity

In the pause: Chapter 2 of the Breaking Bread Podcast

If I have to live through four year of this new administration, then I’m turing it into art. It’s the only way I can bear it. In this chapter of the Breaking Bread Podcast, Mina meets her nemesis in Trumpville for the first time and her resistance is born.

creativity

In the pause: Redirecting the Breaking Bread Podcast into a satirical comedy set in Trumpville

When I started the Breaking Bread Podcast, I had the idea to invite people over to my home, cook their favorite meal, and talk about the issues that are important to them. While that mission seems simple, it’s operationally more difficult than I anticipated. Booking guests is a time intensive job and it costs a good chunk of money. Also, audio editing is a bear and I don’t enjoy it. I like writing and live storytelling, and I want to do a podcast that’s an extension of those two things that also lets me be creative in new and different ways.

I spent a fair amount of time over my holiday break thinking about what to do with the Breaking Bread Podcast. I also spent a fair amount of time reading and talking to people about the election and Trump and what a complete sh*t-show we’re facing come January 20th. And a few things started to come together for me: truth reaches more people when it’s dressed as satire and comedy, world-building is a fun, creative activity (some of my favorite stories are The Wizard of Oz, Alice in Wonderland, Harry Potter, and Welcome to Night Vale), and Trump is insane so I’m going to use his own words as material.

Here’s my premise: Mina Montgomery accidentally falls through a hidden portal at the corner of Constitution Avenue and 1st Street NE on the afternoon of November 8, 2016 and finds herself in a strange parallel universe known as Trumpville. Built by Trump himself, it is an idealized version of the world as he would design it and it’s populated by people faithful to his point-of-view. Or so it appears. Every day, there is a press conference delivered by Trump to the citizens of Trumpville that tells them how it’s all going “above ground”. To her horror, Mina learns that Trump won the presidential election on the day she fell through the portal. She thinks she’s alone in this mad, a*s-backwards world, but she’s not. What she needs to do is find her people, and together they will find a way out. Trapped in Trumpville for the forseeable future, she opens a bakery in Trumpville called Breaking Bread in an attempt to bring people together. In the episodes of the Breaking Bread Podcast, Mina processes her thoughts as a living diary of sorts in order to maintain some semblance of sanity while she figures out how to get everyone out of Trumpville and back to civilization.

Similar to a Trump presidency, I have no idea how this new podcast idea will play out. Who knows what he’ll do next? He’s leaving us in suspense, remember? My game plan is to speak out again, and again, and again because I care about this country and the people who live here, and to find and support people who need a friend during this wild ride. I remember the Bush years and they were brutal. My greatest hope for this podcast idea is that it will be a port in the storm where together we can ride out the mayhem while we try to right the ship.

creativity

Wonder: The Daily Show (The Book): An Oral History as Told by Jon Stewart, the Correspondents, Staff and Guests

We forget that Jon Stewart’s time at The Daily Show wasn’t all wine and roses. Personally, I didn’t become a fan until after those first bumpy years so I never knew that it was anything but the societal lightning rod it now is.

I didn’t know Jon Stewart had failed so badly in his early years. I didn’t know that if The Daily Show with Jon Stewart had failed, then he likely would have never been heard from again. I didn’t know any of that when I began the book and in the first handful of pages, on page one actually, he lays all of that out in no uncertain terms.

And that’s why he’s so loved by so many—for his raw honesty, his bravery, his unapologetic, educated opinions, for his desire to be as intelligent as he is funny, for his integrity, and for his uncompromising optimism heavily influenced by his deep knowledge of history. This book, told from Jon Stewart’s perspective and the perspectives of the show’s writer, actors, and producers, is a reminder to all of us that we have all lived through dark days—as individuals and as a society.

It’s the perfect time for this message as we head into what could be another sad and fearful chapter in our nation’s news and government. I miss Jon Stewart’s voice in the national conversation. I didn’t even realize how much I missed him until I read this book. Reading this book was like visiting an old friend: I’m so glad to hear from him and after 444 pages, I am also sad, again, to see him go.

creativity

This just in: What Andy Rooney learned and shared with us

Andy Rooney
Andy Rooney

I was and still am a big fan of Andy Rooney’s essays. The quintessential curmudgeon, he was honest, funny, and poignant all in the same breath. Here is an essay of his that’s always been one of my favorites.

I’ve Learned

  • I’ve learned … That the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.
  • I’ve learned … That when you’re in love, it shows.
  • I’ve learned … That just one person saying to me, “You’ve made my day!” makes my day.
  • I’ve learned … That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.
  • I’ve learned … That being kind is more important than being right.
  • I’ve learned … That you should never say no to a gift from a child.
  • I’ve learned … That I can always pray for someone when I don’t have the strength to help him in some other way.
  • I’ve learned … That no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.
  • I’ve learned … That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.
  • I’ve learned … That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.
  • I’ve learned … That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
  • I’ve learned … That we should be glad God doesn’t give us everything we ask for.
  • I’ve learned … That money doesn’t buy class.
  • I’ve learned … That it’s those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.
  • I’ve learned … That under everyone’s hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.
  • I’ve learned … That the Lord didn’t do it all in one day. What makes me think I can?
  • I’ve learned … That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.
  • I’ve learned … That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you.
  • I’ve learned … That love, not time, heals all wounds.
  • I’ve learned … That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.
  • I’ve learned … That everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.
  • I’ve learned … That there’s nothing sweeter than sleeping with your babies and feeling their breath on your cheeks.
  • I’ve learned … That no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.
  • I’ve learned … That life is tough, but I’m tougher.
  • I’ve learned … That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.
  • I’ve learned … That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.
  • I’ve learned … That I wish I could have told my dad that I love him one more time before he passed away.
  • I’ve learned … That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.
  • I’ve learned … That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.
  • I’ve learned … That I can’t choose how I feel, but I can choose what I do about it.
  • I’ve learned … That when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little fist, that you’re hooked for life.
  • I’ve learned … That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you’re climbing it.
  • I’ve learned … That it is best to give advice in only two circumstances: when it is requested and when it is a life-threatening situation.
  • I’ve learned … That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.