My mom snapped this picture of Phin and I about 10 minutes after we met. It was our first picture together and love at first sight.
I’ve often written on this blog about my favorite happy, fuzzy pal, Phin. He is an amazing dog whom I rescued over two years ago from the Humane Society. While mostly perfect out of the box, he has struggled with separation anxiety off and on.
His latest bout has lasted for 3 months and I have tried many remedies from extra sessions with our trainer to medication. And just when it seems he has turned a corner, he is plunged back down into the depths of anxiety. His anxiety has begun to make him sick. He never touches a thing in the apartment; he just cries when I leave for any amount of time – an awful, sad, lonely cry. My neighbors are complaining every day. Despite all of the time I spend with him, he needs a home that has more companionship than what I can offer him as a single, working person.
My beautiful, kind, gracious, dog-loving mother has offered to take Phin into her home in Florida until I figure out a better living situation that will work for him. We now live in a tiny studio in a noisy city. My mom and stepfather are retired and are around most of the time. They have a beautiful home with a screened-in porch and a backyard with grass and a garden. They have plenty of sunshine and warmth, inside and outside their home.
Though I know that this is the best short-term situation for Phineas, I am completely heart-broken. He is my constant companion and a champion snuggler. No matter how tough a day I have, he is always there for me with a waggly tail and plenty of smooches. He thinks I am the best person on Earth.
I’m not sure what these next few months hold. I’ll bring Phin down to Florida on Tuesday when I visit my family for the holidays and if all goes well, he’ll be taking up residence there while I sort out a more conducive (read: quiet) environment for him. It is an awful decision to make. My eyes are puffy, my nose is runny, and I feel like a failure.
Life is like that sometimes. We have to make decisions that hurt. Despite our best efforts, things don’t always go the way that we hope they will. I just keep reminding myself to trust the process, to understand that everything is temporary, that fortune can be reversed, that light can and will return even though we are surrounded by darkness. I know this is the best decision to make in the current circumstances, but it’s not easy and it certainly doesn’t feel good.
The short of it:
Writer. Health, education, and art advocate. Theater and film producer. Visual artist. Product geek. Proud alumnae of the University of Pennsylvania (BA) and the Darden School of Business at the University of Virginia (MBA). Inspired by ancient wisdom & modern tech. Proliferator of goodness. Opener of doors. Friend to animals. Fan of creative work in all its wondrous forms. I use my business skills to create passion projects that build a better world. I’ve been called the happiest New Yorker, and I try hard to live up to that title every day.
The long of it:
My career has stretched across Capitol Hill, Broadway theatre, education, nonprofit fundraising, health and wellness, and Fortune 500 companies in retail, media, entertainment, technology, and financial services. I’ve been a product developer and product manager, theater manager, strategic consultant, marketer, voice over artist, , teacher, and fundraiser. I use my business and storytelling to support and sustain passion projects that build a better world. In every experience, I’ve used my sense of and respect for elegant design to develop meaningful products, services, programs, and events.
While building a business career, I also built a strong portfolio as a journalist, novelist, freelance writer, interviewer, presenter, and public speaker. My writing has appeared in The Washington Post, The Huffington Post, PBS.org, Boston.com, Royal Media Partners publications, and The Motley Fool on a wide range of topics including business, technology, science, health, education, culture, and lifestyle. I have also been an invited speaker at SXSW, Teach for America, Avon headquarters, Games for Change, NYU, Columbia University, Hunter College, and the Alzheimer’s Foundation of America. The first book in my young adult book series, Emerson Page and Where the Light Enters, was acquired by a publisher and launched in November 2017. I’m currently working on the second book in the series.
A recovering multi-tasker, I’m equally at home in front of my Mac, on my yoga mat, walking my rescue dog, Phineas, traveling with a purpose, or practicing the high-art of people watching. I also cut up small bits of paper and put them back together as a collage artist.
My company:
I’m bringing together all of my business and creative career paths as the Founder of Double or Nothing Media:
• I craft products, programs, and projects that make a difference;
• I build the business plans that make what I craft financially sustainable;
• I tell the stories that matter about the people, places, and products that inspire me.
Follow my adventures on Twitter at https://twitter.com/christanyc and Instagram at https://instagram.com/christarosenyc.
View all posts by Christa Avampato
13 thoughts on “Leap: Do What’s Needed”
I’m so sorry you have to leave your beautiful little guy for a while. Though I am so happy he is going with your wonderful mother, and you will be reunited with him soon. This was heartbreaking to read at the beginning, but I think this is the best solution and you won’t be loosing him 🙂 Maybe while he is away when you have spare moments you can look up videos on the dog whisperer, he has done a few episodes on helping owners fix their dog’s separation anxiety, I have seen them but forget what he taught. I wish both of you love and happiness and to be reunited soon!
Thanks so much, Kirby. I am grateful to my mom that she can take Phin for a while as I sort out a quieter living situation for him so I can take him back into my home. I am heartbroken to not be with him for a little while but am very hopeful that we will have another chapter together and that in the mean time he will be with my wonderful family.
yes for sure! You are doing the best for both him and you, and I’m sure everything will come together for you soon. In the meantime I’m sure he will be plenty happy being with your family:)
Thanks, Kirby. I really appreciate that. It has been very hard for me but you’re absolutely right – he is so happy and calm in this new arrangement while I search for a better place for us to be together in New York. I am so grateful to my family for helping during this difficult time. If you have any tips, I’d love to hear them!
Oh Christa. I’m sorry, that’s hard. Know you are being the best possible doggie mom you can, and putting Phin’s well-being first, in a responsible and loving way. That is the best you can do. Hugs to you both (and bless your mom for helping).
Thanks, M. It is such a hard decision to make. I am so grateful to my mom and am hopeful that in the coming months I’ll be able to create a living situation where I can bring him back to be with me. In the mean time, he will be surrounded with love, warmth, and sunshine, and I’ll be able to see him a lot, too.
Christa, I’m so sorry you’re going through this with you little man. I admire your strength and your ability to put Phin’s best interests above your own. I have faith he’ll be fine and you will too.
Thanks, Lisa. I am so sorry to have to make this short-term choice, even though it is temporary, but I would much rather feel that pain than have Phin continue to feel so much anxiety. My mom will be able to give him so much love in the meantime and he adores her.
Oh Christa, my eyes are tearing up for you. We had to make a hard decision like about 12 months ago. We had two cats, Lucy and Tiddles, both Burmese, we had had them for about 9 years and they started fighting, couldn’t be in the same room. It was horrible. Lucy was spending nearly all day on top of the dryer in the laundry. We spoke to the vet, had them both checked out, nothing seemed to be wrong. In the end we decided to give Lucy away, she was not as friendly as the other one, and had always been too independent. She is now very happy in her new home, and loves her new owner. But we still feel bad and horrible that we had to do it. Good luck, I’m sure you will find someone perfect for him.
Oh Leanne – I am so sorry. What a sad decision to have to make. I am so glad Lucy is happy in her new home. Phin is going to stay with my mom and I will be able to see him a lot. I’m hopeful that I can soon sort out a quieter living situation that will be better for him so that eventually he can come live with me again.
I’m reading through your past posts about your dog’s separation anxiety because I’m feeling how you expressed in this post. It looks like you ended up keeping Phin though. Did you find something that eventually worked for his anxiety?
Oh yes. Phin is very much a part of my life. He has bouts of anxiety but he doesn’t bark when I leave provided that I take him for a walk, give him treats he only gets when I leave, and his kong. Also, my vet put him on trazodone for a few weeks while I worked with him on different exercises. I highly recommend the book Please Don’t Leave Me as well. It was a lifesaver. I kept trying different things until I found a routine that worked.
Christa Avampato 
I’m so sorry you have to leave your beautiful little guy for a while. Though I am so happy he is going with your wonderful mother, and you will be reunited with him soon. This was heartbreaking to read at the beginning, but I think this is the best solution and you won’t be loosing him 🙂 Maybe while he is away when you have spare moments you can look up videos on the dog whisperer, he has done a few episodes on helping owners fix their dog’s separation anxiety, I have seen them but forget what he taught. I wish both of you love and happiness and to be reunited soon!
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Thanks so much, Kirby. I am grateful to my mom that she can take Phin for a while as I sort out a quieter living situation for him so I can take him back into my home. I am heartbroken to not be with him for a little while but am very hopeful that we will have another chapter together and that in the mean time he will be with my wonderful family.
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yes for sure! You are doing the best for both him and you, and I’m sure everything will come together for you soon. In the meantime I’m sure he will be plenty happy being with your family:)
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Thanks, Kirby. I really appreciate that. It has been very hard for me but you’re absolutely right – he is so happy and calm in this new arrangement while I search for a better place for us to be together in New York. I am so grateful to my family for helping during this difficult time. If you have any tips, I’d love to hear them!
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Oh Christa. I’m sorry, that’s hard. Know you are being the best possible doggie mom you can, and putting Phin’s well-being first, in a responsible and loving way. That is the best you can do. Hugs to you both (and bless your mom for helping).
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Thanks, M. It is such a hard decision to make. I am so grateful to my mom and am hopeful that in the coming months I’ll be able to create a living situation where I can bring him back to be with me. In the mean time, he will be surrounded with love, warmth, and sunshine, and I’ll be able to see him a lot, too.
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Christa, I’m so sorry you’re going through this with you little man. I admire your strength and your ability to put Phin’s best interests above your own. I have faith he’ll be fine and you will too.
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Thanks, Lisa. I am so sorry to have to make this short-term choice, even though it is temporary, but I would much rather feel that pain than have Phin continue to feel so much anxiety. My mom will be able to give him so much love in the meantime and he adores her.
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Oh Christa, my eyes are tearing up for you. We had to make a hard decision like about 12 months ago. We had two cats, Lucy and Tiddles, both Burmese, we had had them for about 9 years and they started fighting, couldn’t be in the same room. It was horrible. Lucy was spending nearly all day on top of the dryer in the laundry. We spoke to the vet, had them both checked out, nothing seemed to be wrong. In the end we decided to give Lucy away, she was not as friendly as the other one, and had always been too independent. She is now very happy in her new home, and loves her new owner. But we still feel bad and horrible that we had to do it. Good luck, I’m sure you will find someone perfect for him.
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Oh Leanne – I am so sorry. What a sad decision to have to make. I am so glad Lucy is happy in her new home. Phin is going to stay with my mom and I will be able to see him a lot. I’m hopeful that I can soon sort out a quieter living situation that will be better for him so that eventually he can come live with me again.
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Liked your posting a lot. I’ll be browsing your website regularly. I found it on google
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I’m reading through your past posts about your dog’s separation anxiety because I’m feeling how you expressed in this post. It looks like you ended up keeping Phin though. Did you find something that eventually worked for his anxiety?
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Oh yes. Phin is very much a part of my life. He has bouts of anxiety but he doesn’t bark when I leave provided that I take him for a walk, give him treats he only gets when I leave, and his kong. Also, my vet put him on trazodone for a few weeks while I worked with him on different exercises. I highly recommend the book Please Don’t Leave Me as well. It was a lifesaver. I kept trying different things until I found a routine that worked.
LikeLike