Category: creativity

creativity

In the pause: The narratives we tell ourselves

Christa Avampato

“You have gorgeous skin.”

That’s what a woman at a networking event said to me last night. I would have dismissed the comment except for the fact that she followed up that statement with her business card. She’s the Secretary General for the International Federation of Societies of Cosmetic Chemists. She knows skin.

I’ve always been very self-conscious about my skin. When I was in my early 20s, I developed horrible acne due to extreme chronic stress and it left some scarring on one side of my face. I still think of myself that way even though that time is nearly 20 years in my review mirror. I am constantly examining my face for flaws out of habit.

This woman’s comment reminded me that we often tell ourselves outdated narratives about who we are based upon our past experiences and circumstances that no longer apply. I carry around a number of these stigmas, none of which are true anymore but they’ve created such a deep groove in my brain that it’s hard to let go of them. Like a car that’s stuck in the mud, I keep spinning those same wheels to no avail when what I really to do is get out of the damn car and leave the mud behind once and for all.

Recently, I’ve been telling myself new narratives about strength, resilience, and courage to replace the ones about weakness, inadequacy, and fear. It’s going to take some time to erase the old patterns but with a little TLC and a hefty dose of patience I think I can turn it around. If you’re battling these same types of demons now, let’s build each other up. Face it—this world needs all of us at our best and the only way we’re going to get there is by raising up one another. With me?

creativity

In the pause: The difficult and uncertain trade-offs of creative work

Christa Avampato

“It’s a real book!”

That’s what my friend, Alex, said to me when she saw the layout proof of the first page of my novel. She’s right; everyday Emerson becomes more real. For many years, her spirit lived in my mind. I had to introduce her to the world. So I started to write down her story. There were nights I didn’t go out. Places I didn’t go, things I didn’t do, people I didn’t see because I chose to stay home and write. I could have poured that time and effort into many other things. Some people thought I should (and told me so); they thought writing the book was a waste of time. All creative work looks like a waste of time until it’s done.

Now that the book will be published on November 1st, it’s easy to say and see that I wasn’t wasting my time, that it was worth the effort. But that’s not always the case. I toiled for years with no outward progress on it. Many times creative projects are like that—slow, uncertain, and frustrating. The thing is that I couldn’t stop writing the story. It would have haunted me. Emerson’s voice would have gotten louder and louder and louder until I had to sit down and write it. Creators have to create as much as they need to breathe, eat, and sleep. It’s a vital process.

So if you’re in the midst of a creative project, one that’s taking longer than you’d like, one that other people don’t understand, it’s okay. Every person who’s ever created anything has felt exactly what you’re feeling at some point in their own process. That’s part of the journey. Do the work you know you need to do, and tune out the noise. When it’s done, and I promise you that you can finish it!, the amount of pride and gratitude will be overwhelming in the best possible way.

creativity

In the pause: The right opportunity will be yours

Christa Avampato

In the past few weeks, I’ve learned that a few opportunities I left on the table would have gone horribly awry if I had taken them. People I wanted to work with left their roles in short order. Products were pulled from the market. The leadership floundered. The role was never filled because they just couldn’t figure out what they wanted. Most of the time, I didn’t have a specific reason for turning down any of these roles except to say that they just didn’t feel like the right move for me. My gut was right.

If you’re searching for a new opportunity now, don’t be afraid to walk away from one that doesn’t match your criteria. You deserve better; you deserve to find exactly what you want. Keep looking.

creativity

In the pause: Saw the first print layout of my novel

Christa Avampato

Yesterday was a pretty thrilling day: I got a glimpse of the print layout of my novel, Emerson Page and Where the Light Enters. To see it coming to life bit by bit is very exciting and keeps me motivated to write the next chapter of the prequel and to get started on the second book in the series. When we see progress, however slowly, we begin to realize what’s possible and that is a powerful tool to spark our creativity. Once we see and hold what we can do, we know how much more is out there for us to explore and accomplish.

creativity

In the pause: Finishing the first draft of my second novel by Labor Day

Christa Avampato

“Why don’t you finish your second book in the Emerson Page series by Labor Day?” my friend, Colleen, said to me.

My response: Blink. Blink. Whaaaaat?

But since she said that to me, I can’t get the thought out of my mind. I’m moved into my new apartment, I’m interviewing and job searching, and I’m catching up with friends. I can do this. I wrote my first novel, Emerson Page and Where the Light Enters, while working full-time at a startup in a new city.

The first novel sets up so many threads for the second and the world building piece, the heaviest lift, is done. I just need to get it all down so why not set a wild writing goal for myself? And look, Toni Morrison wrote her first novel in 15-minute increments before falling into bed each night while she was a single working mother. She made time to write. I will, too.

Thank you for the push, Colleen. I’m going for it. First draft of Emerson’s second book has a deadline of Labor Day, September 4, 2017.

creativity

In the pause: The surprising truth about pursuing our goals

Christa Avampato
My friend, Alex, sent this quote to me and it resonates with me so deeply. This idea is what prompted my move back to New York City and this change in career direction. I could have kept moving ahead on a corporate path. I could have continued to climb in title and compensation. Except that I really couldn’t do that and be true to myself. I have turned down jobs and projects not because I couldn’t do them but because they weren’t rooted in how I want to spend my time. This is a tough thing to do.
 
We tell ourselves all of the convenient reasons we need to keep doing what we’ve been doing even though it may not be what fires us up. It makes today easier at the expense of our tomorrows. What I’m doing is making my today more challenging because I want my tomorrows to be more fulfilling. It’s all a gamble. I don’t know how it’s going to go but here’s what I do know—if I didn’t follow this path I’m on now, I’d always wonder what might have been. And I didn’t want to wonder; I wanted to take my best shot and manage whatever happens next. It may not be the best choice for everyone, but it’s certainly the best choice for me.
creativity

In the pause: Soothing a worrying mind

Christa Avampato

I’m so glad to be home, so excited for what’s next. And I’m not going to lie—I’m a little nervous, too. The second I solve one challenge or put one more concern to rest, another one is waiting in the wings and immediately steps into the spotlight of my attention. It’s moving, it’s job searching, it’s getting Phineas healthy and settled, and it’s the personal and professional to-do lists that never seem to end. None of this is bad at all; it’s just stuff that needs doing and I’m the one who need to do the doing.

Mine is a naturally worrying mind. I do my best to stay focused and composed though those pesky concerns are persistent little buggers. And unfortunately, if I can’t find a good one, I invent one. You know, just to get ahead of things! I don’t procrastinate well. I’m just not built for it; I often wish I was but it’s not my nature.

I was talking to my friend, Alex, and she reminded me about all of those posts we read when someone gives advice to their younger self. And they all say some variety of “Stop worrying. It’s going to be okay.” I try to imagine my older self telling myself today the same thing.

If like me you can’t stop worrying at least put the worries over there, way over there, so you can keep moving forward. I take a long walk. I take a deep breath. I remind myself of all of the difficult things I’ve done before, all of the trying circumstances I’ve survived. And that helps. Staying calm in the face of challenges is difficult, and it’s the only way to get through them. And get through them, we will.

creativity

In the pause: Comey, Hamlet, and our individual tomorrows

Christa Avampato

“We know what we are, but not what we may become.” ~William Shakespeare, Hamlet

As I watched the James Comey hearing yesterday, I kept thinking about this quote from Hamlet. Mr. Comey’s testimony showed that he always does what he thinks is the right thing to do given the information he has. He’s a man who sticks to his principles even when he knows he will pay a personal price for following them. He stands for something and therefore falls for nothing. He cares much more about the truth and the law than he does about politics and power. And in Washington, sadly, that is a difficult thing to do. He’s paid the price personally and professionally, and still stands by his decisions. That’s something to be admired, even though I don’t agree with his choices.

Nearly 7 months to the day, Comey transformed from being the person who single-handedly altered the outcome of the Presidential election to someone who may render the Trump presidency one of the shortest in history. It’s unclear if any of that will come to pass, but it made me think about our sense of identity, purpose, and perception.

What we do and who we are right now doesn’t predict who we’ll become or what we’ll be doing tomorrow. One minute, Mr. Comey was the Director of the FBI and arguably one of the most powerful people in the world. With the stroke of a pen, he was returned to private life and sat before a Senate committee to tell the world he didn’t trust the President’s intent and questioned his sense of judgement. All within 7 months. That’s a remarkable about-face to make in his career and in his life.

What I keep coming back to is his conviction and his refusal to do anything less than protect his country in the best way he could. If that meant being fired, then so be it. If that meant enduring endless scrutiny by the public, politicians, and the press, then bring it on. It takes courage to live today so authentically that it may drastically alter our tomorrow. Mr. Comey showed us it can, and must, be done.

creativity

In the pause: What I’m doing in New York

Christa Avampato

“What are you going to do in New York?”

It’s a logical question when you move to a new city. My neat and tidy answer catches people off guard: love every minute of my life. Someone cracked me up yesterday when they responded, “No, really. What are you going to do here?” My answer stands.

I do have some more specific answers for more specific questions. For work? I’m looking at many avenues that bring together my passions and my talents. For love? I’m dating. For my writing? I’m promoting my first novel, writing the prequel chapter by chapter, writing my second novel that is the next in the series about Emerson Page, and pursuing freelance nonfiction writing. For fun? Phineas and I will be enjoying our long walks in the park. I’ll be spending time with my wonderful friends here, and making new ones. I’ll be at the theater, in the museums, listening to live music, creating art, and following every interest I have. I’m hoping to teach writing classes, mentor young people, and volunteer in my community. I’m going to try to learn to play a real song on the piano.

Anything can happen here in New York City, and it often does. While the city has a reputation for making people hard and tough, I think it’s much easier, and more enjoyable, to be a little soft. People can be gruff and self-absorbed. You have to stand up for yourself and then shrug it off. This city moves fast and carefully crafted plans have a way of disintegrating at the most inopportune times. Flexibility is key. If your dream today doesn’t work out, tomorrow you’ll have a new one. That long night of disappointment in-between is a tough thing to endure but you have to endure and persist and be determined to keep rising in spite of it all. New York is a tall order, and it’s the only one that really fits me.

creativity

In the pause: A magical New York City beginning

Christa Avampato

The move into New York City was a pretty magical day. As stressful as these past few months have been, there were so many incredible moments in this move when I felt everything going in the direction I needed. I had fantastic movers. The ride up was perfect without an ounce of traffic. Phineas was an angel traveler. My friends Moya and Dan helped me get the contents of my packed car into my apartment. The super, manager, and neighbors in my new building have all been lovely. Within our first 30 minutes in the neighborhood, I met Vinny, a man who lives just a few doors down who runs a doggie daycare and dog walking service out of his garden apartment. (Phin loved him immediately!) Now my internet is humming along thanks to insanely good customer service from Time Warner, and I’m getting my handful of belongings in place while I wait for the rest of my things to arrive in the next few days.

In the meantime, Phin and I are taking in the park and visiting all of our old haunts in our neighborhood. It feels good to be home.