I tell wonder-filled stories about hope and healing
“What a wonderful thought it is that some of the best days of our lives haven’t even happened yet.” ~Anne Frank
No matter what’s happening in our lives right now, I take a lot of comfort in knowing that there is so much to look forward to. Our best days are still ahead of us. Our best project is our next one. We have yet to know our full potential. There is so much to reach for, so much still left to explore. Keep going.
I’ve decided to be relentlessly positive—about my career, about love, about my writing, and about life in general. In the past few weeks, I have seen the power of thinking good thoughts and rolling up my sleeves to make good things happen. With all that’s happening in the world, it’s easy to get bogged down, to fill myself up with anxiety and uncertainty. When the hint of this begins to happen, I tamp down those thoughts. I don’t allow them into my day. I remind myself of how far I’ve come and how far I still have to go. I remember that I literally don’t have time for negativity. The energy is better put toward building a better world, and that’s what I intend to do.
I’m so excited to spread the word about Day of Dinners on Sunday, June 25th.
“On June 25th, thousands of people all over the U.S. will open their hearts and homes to start a new conversation about the country we want and the future we’re working for. The Women’s March network is unique because you are committed to digging deeper, having daring discussions and listening to each other in new ways. Day of Dinners is a chance for thousands of us – families, neighbors and strangers – to come together, share good food, and get real about building deeper, stronger communities. We want you to take part!
On June 25th, let’s remind ourselves that gathering around a table over food is an act of community.”
I hope you’ll visit the website and sign up to attend one of these dinners as we open hearts and minds to a brighter future.
“You have gorgeous skin.”
That’s what a woman at a networking event said to me last night. I would have dismissed the comment except for the fact that she followed up that statement with her business card. She’s the Secretary General for the International Federation of Societies of Cosmetic Chemists. She knows skin.
I’ve always been very self-conscious about my skin. When I was in my early 20s, I developed horrible acne due to extreme chronic stress and it left some scarring on one side of my face. I still think of myself that way even though that time is nearly 20 years in my review mirror. I am constantly examining my face for flaws out of habit.
This woman’s comment reminded me that we often tell ourselves outdated narratives about who we are based upon our past experiences and circumstances that no longer apply. I carry around a number of these stigmas, none of which are true anymore but they’ve created such a deep groove in my brain that it’s hard to let go of them. Like a car that’s stuck in the mud, I keep spinning those same wheels to no avail when what I really to do is get out of the damn car and leave the mud behind once and for all.
Recently, I’ve been telling myself new narratives about strength, resilience, and courage to replace the ones about weakness, inadequacy, and fear. It’s going to take some time to erase the old patterns but with a little TLC and a hefty dose of patience I think I can turn it around. If you’re battling these same types of demons now, let’s build each other up. Face it—this world needs all of us at our best and the only way we’re going to get there is by raising up one another. With me?
In the past few weeks, I’ve learned that a few opportunities I left on the table would have gone horribly awry if I had taken them. People I wanted to work with left their roles in short order. Products were pulled from the market. The leadership floundered. The role was never filled because they just couldn’t figure out what they wanted. Most of the time, I didn’t have a specific reason for turning down any of these roles except to say that they just didn’t feel like the right move for me. My gut was right.
If you’re searching for a new opportunity now, don’t be afraid to walk away from one that doesn’t match your criteria. You deserve better; you deserve to find exactly what you want. Keep looking.
“Three months ago, things seemed a little bleak. But to be honest, everything worked out in the best way possible.”
I said this to my friend, Ria, this weekend. She stopped me and said, “Christa, that’s what always happens to you. And I’m saying this to you, making sure you know and understand that whenever you hit tough times, it does work out. So don’t freak out. It is always going to be okay. Okay?”
A couple of days ago, I mentioned that I was stressed about my move. How was I going to see all my friends before I go? How was I going to get this place packed up? Which movers could meet my timeline for a good price? (To be fair, a few were a little annoyed with me that my timeline is rather tight, but hey, that’s finding an apartment in New York City. It’s a just-in-time market!)
Today, I got a quote for half of what I thought it would be. I am able to rent a small SUV to drive some things up to DC myself for nearly the same price as a compact car. My building in D.C. can accommodate my move date and my building in New York is very relaxed about move-ins (and doesn’t charge a fee either!) It really is all going to be okay. Really.
Yes, I have work to do. A lot of sorting, packing, and cleaning. I’m going to get to spend time with friends here in D.C. before I go. Dinners, happy hours, coffees, and walks. And then I’ll drive up to New York with little Phin. We’ll move into our new place and it will all be fine. Everything will be better than fine.
In the moment, it can be difficult to remember to keep a longer perspective. What’s right in front of it feel so urgent and pressing. And it is, but we’ll get through it the way we always get through it: one step, one moment at a time.
“I like stories where women save themselves.” ~Neil Gaiman
Screw patience. Do what makes you happy now. If someone asked me how I got to the point I am in my life now, as a person and as a writer, my answer would be “I’ve always been my own savior.” I’ve never expected anyone to fix anything or do anything for me. I don’t want or wait well. All I really know how to do is roll up my sleeves and get to work. Sometimes that work is with other people like my experience in theater, and sometimes that work is on my own like sitting down to write my book. Some call it feisty, others call it fiery, and I call it building a life I love.
Our time is so precious and so short. It flies by despite our efforts to slow it down. Every day matters. Don’t bottle yourself up or tell yourself , “Someday, I’ll do what I love.” Do it now. Some day is today, every day. I promised myself a long time ago that I wasn’t going to die with the music, or the books, still in me. I was going to live and write out loud. However improbable my book seemed, I was going to find a way to get it done. And I did. You will, too. Keep writing.
It’s official: I’m set to move back to New York City next month. There have been so many synchronicities in this move: from my friend, Ria, telling me not to feel pressured into taking what would have been a terrible apartment because I thought that was the only option to finding my new place completely by chance with a building manager willing to show it to me via a Whatsapp video call before turning around a lease overnight. It’s on the Upper West Side, my very favorite neighborhood in the world where so much of my history lives and breathes. I’ve got many preparations to make, much to be grateful for in D.C., and much to look forward to as I return to New York. I’ll be reflecting on all of that in the coming days, weeks, and months. For now, I’m just smiling and feeling so thankful for this journey.
Phineas and I are excited to visit all of our old haunts in Central Park, and spend time with our New York friends—human, canine, and feline! Phin’s particularly looking forward to Dachtoberfest this Fall when hundreds of dachshunds from all over the New York area congregate at Washington Square Park to celebrate their breed. (More on that later.) New York, here we come!
I spent the weekend happily disconnected from devices and reunited with my Darden MBA class to celebrate our 10-year graduation milestone. I went to reunion to be with friends far and near, and to revisit a place where I learned that anything is possible when we combine passion, purpose, and persistence. At Darden, I learned how to stand strong in my beliefs while balancing conviction and openness to new ideas and perspectives. It remains the greatest investment of my life, not only for the skills I gained and the knowledge I attained from my brilliant classmates and professors, but even more so for the deep friendships I found there. It’s the gift that keeps on giving, and only grows more valuable with time. I loved seeing and hugging all of you, and am already looking forward to the next time we’re all together again. Until then, know that I’m rooting for all of you to live your happiest, most beautiful lives. The best is yet to come.
“You don’t have a right to the cards you believe you should have been dealt. You have an obligation to play the hell out of the ones you’re holding.” ~Cheryl Strayed
My friend, Joi, posted this quote a few weeks ago and it was exactly the message I needed. Some of us are born with a great talent. Others of us are born into great fortunate. And still others are blessed with creativity, a strong work ethic, and / or a desire to do something that makes the world a better place in some way. Too often we focus on the piece(s) we don’t have instead of the gifts we do have.
We all need something. If we’re meant to have it, it’ll show up. I believe that. I’ve seen it happen in my own life and in the lives of others. In the meantime, our job is to work like hell to do the best we can with what we’ve got. That’s what I’ll be doing this week on a number of fronts.
What are you working on?
Christa Avampato 