Monday night I met with the team over at Notion Theory, a fantastic design shop that specializes in being a CTO for-hire (among many other amazing specialties!) I spoke to them about my virtual guidance counseling idea. They could have quoted me an outrageous amount of money to build a proof-of-concept. Instead, they said it could be done for $0 and I could do it myself in a few hours with free online tools. Sure, it will be a little manual but for MVP, it can be hacked together. What I really need to focus on is finding a couple of schools with a small amount of students who are willing to let me test the idea on them. I think it’s pretty amazing for a design shop to tell me that right now I don’t need to pay them a cent. The time for a slick seamless interface will come, but right now I just need to find people who want my help. Given how much need there is, I can get started right away with what I’ve got.
Category: creativity
In the pause: Gun violence on my block in D.C.
That’s a bullet hole in the middle of a shattered window in my apartment building lobby. According to the DC Police Department, it was caused by an assault rifle, a military-grade weapon. By law, these weapons cannot be owned in D.C. by any civilian for any reason, meaning the weapon was stolen or sold illegally. The reflection in the window is the building across the street, one of the largest public housing complexes in the city, and the stage for that gun fight. The irony is not lost of me. I live in a glass house, with a clear view of the Capitol a mile away, where the divide between rich and poor across North Capitol Street is a chasm that just keeps getting wider.
Though I grew up in a rural area (there is a tractor-crossing sign across the street from the home where I grew up), I’ve lived in large cities, often in developing neighborhoods, for the majority of my life. I’m not blind to the level of crime and violence that exists in our cities. I have been robbed at knife point in a Philadelphia subway station and aggressively harassed, sometimes pushed and physically threatened, on the streets of New York and D.C. But this incident of a bullet into my apartment building is crime on a whole new level for me. It has already begun to change the patterns of my life and how I navigate my neighborhood. Constant vigilance now has a whole new meaning for me.
And here is the saddest part—I’m luckier than anyone who lives in the building reflected in my shattered widow. I can move when my lease is up. Most of the people who live in that building, many of them children, are good people. They are stuck, and their situation is about to made worse with cuts in healthcare and education. These are the very people who need to be protected and as a society, we aren’t protecting them. I’ve made a point to get to know them because I understand their situation on a personal level. My family had no money when I was growing up. I know what it means to be afraid, to struggle, to feel hopeless. It’s hard to see or find a way out, and certainly even harder when you live in a building where violence is often just a breath away.
As someone who has been down into the depths of PTSD, incidents like this cause to re-evaluate just about everything in my life. I understand the preciousness of our time. I understand it’s fleeting. I understand that it goes by too quickly. I understand that we spend too many days waiting and not enough days living up to our full potential. I don’t know where this new sense of urgency and reflection is taking me. I promise to let you know where I’m heading and what I intend to do to make this world a better, safer place for all people. I can also promise you that I will not waste this learning or be dragged down by it. I will make it my fuel.
In the pause: How to make a difficult choice easier
Whenever I have to make a tough decision, I spend about a week living each choice. Then at the end of that week, I reflect on how that choice makes me feel. How does it change what I think, what I do, and how I see the world? This method has never failed me. If you’re in the midst of making a decision right now and the options are getting muddled in your mind, take the choices out into the world and see what you find. It’s worth the time.
In the pause: My book has taken its next step in publication
Colony Club, a local coffee shop, is the place I will always remember as the setting where Emerson Page – Where the Light Enters stepped into her light. I just met with my publisher for 2 hours and couldn’t be more excited about the launch of my book this Fall. We’re on our way. More details soon!
In the pause: Choosing how to spend our time is our most important job
“Although you may have had a tragic past, it does not need to define your future. Unless you choose it. From this moment on, your life need not be tragic. From this moment on, your life is yours to make. To heal and to love are choices.” ~Max Strom
Max Strom is one of my favorite yoga teachers and writers. His book, A Life Worth Breathing, is a book I return to over and over again because of all the wisdom and grace be packs into his words. When I think about starting this project of virtual guidance counseling for kids, Max’s words speak to what I want to do for kids. To show them that though they may feel like their choices are limited now, life won’t always be that way. Eventually, and not to long from now, all of the choices will be theirs. It can be an overwhelming step change to go from being a child to being an adult. Kids have to know that someone is cheering them on, that someone is there to support them and help them wrestle through growing up.
And it’s a good reminder for us, too. The options of what we can do with our time and talents are endless. The most important work we will ever do is to decide how to use them.
In the pause: Change your mindset to change the world
“There is freedom waiting for you, on the breezes of the sky. And you ask “What if I fall?” Oh but my darling, what if you fly?” ~ Erin Hanson
Whenever we attempt something new, too often we jump to worst case scenarios. And there’s good reason for that. We are programmed to self-protect and preserve. For our ancient ancestors, there were so many dangers in the world that were matters of life and death. Now in our somewhat civil society (though goodness, are we ever testing the bounds of civility these days!), our old programming is still in place even though we can be much more daring now and live to tell the tale.
Whenever I’m starting something new, I think of Eric Hanson and his beautiful poem. We feel so trapped in situations that don’t make us happy, but truly, we can set ourselves free. I’m not saying that it’s easy, or that there isn’t an ample amount of fear and worry associated with freedom. Friends, freedom isn’t ever free, but my goodness, is it ever worth it to try to do something that we’re passionate about. Something that matters. Something that makes a difference in the lives of others.
Yes, you may fall. Lord knows I fall every day in one way or another. I have failed miserably at things I wished so much to succeed at. But I learned. Damn, did I learn. And those falls make me tough and resilient, and they also make me empathetic and kind. I get up again, and little by little I steady my gait, get set, and try to fly again. I know that someday I’ll be soaring. You will, too. You’ll see if you just give yourself the chance. You are so much greater, so much wiser, and so much more capable than you ever give yourself credit for. So here’s your credit – it’s yours for the taking. Go do something wild and wonderful with your life. Be it small or great, let it fill you to the brim with joy and happiness, hope and purpose. The world is waiting to celebrate the beauty that is you. And so am I.
In the pause: Holding myself accountable
I’m a voracious list maker, mostly because it helps me to remain accountable for moving my ideas forward. Since the weekend, I’ve been making a list of things I need to do to test out my new business ideas for on-demand and virtual guidance counseling for students. So far, I have a few to-dos on the books and they are:
- Writing to my high school guidance counselor who inspired this idea to give him a long overdue thank you and to let him know his efforts were not in vain. I actually made it to adulthood in mostly one piece and am now giving back.
- Making a list of people I’d like to contact to do research on the roles of guidance counselors and school administrators so I can understand their pain points and how this company can be of greatest use to the kids in their schools and to their staff.
- Developing a light-weight version of a pitch deck that lays out the purpose, the impact, the methods to achieve that purpose, and my many questions.
- Setting up time to meet with a couple of friends who are going to give me advice on the aforementioned pitch deck.
- Setting up time to meet with a technology development shop that I love and want to work with.
- Making a list of influential people who I want to contact about the idea to ask for their help, guidance, and ideas.
- Set up a meeting with a designer who I hope will help me with branding, a logo, etc. She reached out to me through Instagram and I love her work!
- Reading, reading, reading. Researching, researching, researching. Learning, learning, learning.
I will say that I’m loving every moment of this. I’m loving it so much in fact that it doesn’t even seem like work. And that, my friends, is the point. We should find something that we love to do so much that the time flies and it makes us feel alive and free.
In the pause: All children deserve to rise
I’m so tired of the acceptance that zip code is destiny. My entire life is a rejection of that belief, and I will keep rejecting it until I’m out of breath and out of strength. Somewhere along the way, our society decided that a child born into difficulty on the south side of Chicago won’t have the same chance to rise to their potential as a child born with every privilege on the south side of Central Park. Is the life of that child in Chicago any less valuable that the life of that child in New York? I don’t think so. I know you don’t think so either. So let’s change that, together. Let’s stack the odds in favor of all kids everywhere.
There are too many kids who are cold, and tired, and hungry, and frustrated. There are too many kids who don’t see a way up and out of their circumstances because no one they know ever got up or out. Imagine what our world would be like if every child alive right now got everything they needed to grow up healthy, educated, kind, and confident. That’s the image I hold in my mind as I think about ways to offer virtual and on-demand guidance counseling to kids across the country, and eventually across the globe. It’s a big vision, a big dream, and our kids deserve nothing less. They have to know that somewhere out in the world, there is an adult who believes in them, who is holding a light for them so that they can find their way forward even in the darkest of times. To that child, that one light can make all the difference. And that’s worth fighting for.
In the pause: It’s okay to collapse
“For a star to be born, there is one thing that must happen: a gaseous nebula must collapse. So collapse. Crumble. This is not your destruction. This is your birth.” ~Zoe Skylar
We work so hard to keep things, even ourselves, from falling apart. Somehow we have managed to associate becoming undone with being completely done, forever. Don’t be ashamed of your undoing or your failure, your missteps or your losses. This is a cycle of life – catching and releasing, holding on and letting go, rising up and falling down. There’s so much to be learned and experienced in the collapse. There you can rest, restore, and rebuild. Wiser, braver, stronger, more focused, and with the knowledge that no matter what life throws at you, you will find a way to shine.
In the pause: My new business idea and passion project to help kids make their way in the world
F*ck it. I’m going for it. I’ve been kicking around the idea for a new business I’d like to start, and after several months of gnashing my teeth and wringing my hands, I decided I’m just going to do it. As I’ve mentioned several times, I was lucky to have an amazing guidance counselor, Jim Wherry, when I was in high school. I’ve learned over the last few months that I was luckier than I thought. In some schools, the ratio of guidance counselors to students is 1:500. And though we spend thousands of dollars every year per student on educating them, we spend the equivalent of a can of Coke per student on guidance counselors. A can of Coke. Bill Symonds, Director of the Global Pathways Institute, calls this “the black hole in the American education system.” I can’t get that idea out of my mind so I decided to embrace it and do something about it.
My therapist, Brian, once said to me that the best way for me to make my past mean something is to pay it forward. I think about how hard I worked and how much I struggled as a student and as a young adult. I think about the free lunch program that I was simultaneously grateful for and embarrassed by. I worked, and worked, and worked so that my life as an adult could be more secure than my life as a child. I think about the fact that despite my many hardships, there are far too many kids today who are in the same boat or even worse off. The boy I met on the streets of D.C. a few nights ago is a prime example of the people who need me to make this business a reality. Every student deserves to have a Jim Wherry. And I’m going to find a way to make that possible while also creating a company that creates jobs and has the kindest, bravest, most passionate, and most respectful culture imaginable because our work is something we should love to do. Our kids all across this country need us to stand up for them and support them as they make their way in a world that is becoming an increasingly difficult place. This is my act of resistance.
That’s my side hustle for now that I hope becomes a full-time venture over time. I’ll still need to work full-time in another job I enjoy (and let’s face it, the world is now full of opportunities for me to do good work) so that I don’t have to worry about money while I build this new idea. And that’s A-OK with me because I want to do what’s right for our kids without making choices based on my own personal finances.
So here we go back into the world of entrepreneurship, and this time a little older, hopefully a little wiser, and just as determined to use my business skills to build a passion project that builds a better world.
If you’d like to offer advice, help, ideas, or encouragement, I’ll take them.
Christa Avampato 