I tell wonder-filled stories about hope and healing
“Let it all go. See what stays.” ~Unknown
Sometimes we spend so much time and energy hanging on to thing, to dreams, to ideas, and to people that we forget why we’re doing it. We can lose ourselves in that process. I think it’s a good practice to take stock of the different areas of our lives. What do we value? What adds meaning to our lives? What weighs us down? What’s missing? The big questions aren’t easy to ask, or answer, but they’re always worth it.
“The waiting. The meantime. The in-between. It all serves a purpose, even the delays and detours.” ~Anonymous
My friend, Katya, posted this the other day and I think it’s a really powerful and comforting reminder for all of us. We are all in a process of becoming, and becoming something requires a bit of waiting. Progress in anything is achieved one day, one step at a time. And in each of those moments we are learning exactly what we need to learn. Everything that we’re going through now is preparing us for what’s ahead. Every experience we’ve ever had has prepared us to meet this moment in front of us.
Right now, I’m in the midst of a lot of change. It’s all very exciting, and it’s also a lot. And in these next few weeks, I’m in a bit of a holding pattern. Normally, I would be anxious in a time like this and instead I’m enjoying it. Learning every day. Setting up the tasks I need to do now to hit the ground running in short order. There’s a lot of planning.
Though the energy required to plan is different from the energy needed to act, it also holds its own happiness and joy to be looking ahead with happy and eager anticipation of what’s around the bend. Then will be here soon enough so let’s enjoy the journey to get there.
“I don’t pay attention to the world ending. It’s ended for me many times and began again in the morning.” ~Anonymous
I’ve learned to embrace endings, not because they are fun or comforting but because they make space for something new. I’ve learned that nothing lasts forever, that life in all its forms is full of cycles and changes. Changes and challenges, no matter how much they are welcomed, are difficult because for some amount of time there is a void. I used to be very quick to fill up that void as fast as possible. Now at the ripe old age of 41, I purposely slow it down. I spend a good amount of time reflecting, processing, and deciding how best to move forward after any major change. I’ve learned how to ask for and receive help with grace and gratitude. And then I pay forward that help, as many times as I possibly can.
One of the great benefits of growing older is that it’s easier to pinpoint what really matters and why. When something ends now, I’m grateful for the lessons it teaches me and the strength it gives me. In time, new possibilities and opportunities always present themselves and often in the most unlikely ways. The world begins again, and we’re off on new adventures that pave the path ahead. I can’t wait to see what’s next!
“Enlightenment is that moment when a wave realizes it is the ocean.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh
We have more options than we think we do. I had two great back-to-back conversations yesterday that helped me realize just how many possibilities are open to me and how to bring them to fruition. It was one of the most empowering and hopeful afternoons I’ve had in a long time. Those conversations didn’t change any of my circumstances; they just helped me see things in a different way. They changed my mind and my perspective; in other words, they changed everything.
“People don’t develop their gifts because they want to, but because they have to.”
That’s how a conversation with Brian started recently. We were talking about the idea of using painful and upsetting experiences to become better people. I told him that I wished it didn’t take a burning platform to evolve and he explained that so often that burning platform is the spark we need to take action and grow. In other words, “if you’re going through hell, keep going.” (Hat tip to Winston Churchill.) So if you’re going through something that’s difficult right now, there is an enormous and shiny silver lining: once you’re through it (and I promise you if we just keep going, we do get through all of our difficult times), you will emerge as someone who is braver, stronger, and better than you were before. Your gifts will get you there. It may not be fun, but it will be worth it because once you have your gifts, you have them forever.
“Don’t be so scared. My love, this is how you bloom.” ~ Evan Sanders, The Better Man Project
The process of becoming is uncomfortable, even painful. It requires so much stretching and reaching and growing. In the short-term, it feels safer and easier to keep our dreams and spirits small. Over time, that safety, ease, and comfort have a hefty price tag; they rob us of who we’re meant to be and the goals we’re meant to reach.
I’m in the midst of a big leap now. And though I didn’t choose the timing, I did choose the path. I put the wish out into the world, and the world responded. The response wasn’t what I expected but it did open the way that I needed to make my path a reality.
And so, here we go. Onto the twisting, uncharted road where I can only see just a few feet in front of me. I know the very next step, but not the one after that. Sometimes the fear, uncertainty, and stress feel overwhelming. And at those times, there’s always someone who says, “You’re going to be okay.” So I keep going. And blooming. I hope you will, too.
I knew the Year of the Rooster would be a wild one. But I didn’t have any idea what wild meant until these past few weeks. So much is shifting and changing. Every day I’m on a roller coaster doing my best to hang on and stay flexible. Just when I feel like I’m at my breaking point, I take a deep breath, call a friend, and find my center again. And so it goes. And so we go. One day, one moment, one heartbeat at a time. More than ever, I’m learning to be present and fierce. I’m learning what a gift it is to love and be loved and to smile. I’m learning that profound change can find any of us at any time. Be here now. That’s the only work we need to do.
“Don’t stumble over something behind you.” ~Seneca
Whenever I’m faced with something disappointing, I feel is deeply and and immediately. I strip out that phase of denial and move right into grief. While grief is a painful, my willingness to feel every ounce of it jumpstarts the healing process. Grief is a lens I use to refocus my energy and get clear about what I need and want. It’s not fun, but it’s necessary. The great benefit of this brutal process is that once it’s done, it’s done. I don’t look back; I let it go and move forward. I have many times in my life that I’m glad I’ll never repeat, and I’m also grateful for all of the learnings that those times held. They have given me empathy, strength, and courage, three of the things I value most.
Whenever something doesn’t work out the way we planned, we can feel cheated, disappointed, and sad. But what if we could look at our new situation from a different angle? What if things not going how we planned is the best thing that ever happened to us? What if that opens the way for things to go better than we ever imagined possible? Let’s try to manifest that and see what happens. Sometimes things have to fall apart to come together.
I’m a voracious list maker, mostly because it helps me to remain accountable for moving my ideas forward. Since the weekend, I’ve been making a list of things I need to do to test out my new business ideas for on-demand and virtual guidance counseling for students. So far, I have a few to-dos on the books and they are:
I will say that I’m loving every moment of this. I’m loving it so much in fact that it doesn’t even seem like work. And that, my friends, is the point. We should find something that we love to do so much that the time flies and it makes us feel alive and free.
Christa Avampato 