Tag: time

creativity

In the pause: My promise to Team Human

Christa Avampato

If fascist, racist, homophobic, misogynistic, sexist extremists think for one second that I’m going to be intimidated by their displays of hate, especially in a town like Charlottesville that has served such an important part in my life, they have another thing coming. I am not ceding a single inch of my country that my ancestors, family members, and friends have fought to secure so that all people can freely and passionately pursue their dreams.

If the events in CharlottesvilleĀ have done anything, they’ve strengthened my resolve to continue to stand up and fight for justice. I am sick and saddened that people can be so hate-filled and I flat-out refuse to allow anyone to make me feel helpless or hopeless. What happened in Charlottesville can happen anywhere. There are constant intimidations, micro aggressions, and open displays of intolerance across our country and the world every single day in every community.

This is my promise: I will not retreat and I will not be silent. I will continue to rise and speak up with every breath and every ounce of energy I have, in all circumstances, for all people who wish to be a part of Team Human. That’s the side I’m on, the side of goodness.

creativity

In the pause: Whispers in the nightā€”how our books speak to us as writers

Christa Avampato

A few days ago, I mentioned that I was having trouble writing Emerson‘s second book. Last night, I just decided to tag along with her to see where she was going, what she was doing, and who she was with. I didn’t expect or ask for anything. I just stayed quiet and listened. I was helped by the idea of aĀ dƦmon in The Golden Compass; Lyra’s dƦmon sometimes hitches a ride on her shoulder to join the adventure. I did the same with Emerson.

It’s odd what your characters will tell you when you just listen to them. I found out Emerson’s birthday is January 1st, that there are now hundreds, maybe even thousands, of people who are looking for the same treasure that she seeks, and that her travels take her not to one place in Book 2 but many places. There’s some romance, heartbreak, and loss. She will be plunged into memories she would rather not see but are vital to her pursuits and her destiny. There are portals hidden in plain sight. The line between the physical world and the world of the mind is blurred to the point where they’re really no different at all. Time and space are much more fluid than we imagine them to be.

So today, I’m putting my ear to the ground, closing my eyes, and listening intently to the adventures Emerson has taken. I imagine her now, much older and wiser, entertaining a woman (me) who just showed up at her door and asked to hear the story of her life. She has a lot to tell me. She just needs some time.

creativity

In the pause: What would be the title of your autobiography?

Christa Avampato

It’s daunting to think about what you’d title your autobiography, right? How do you sum up a life in one line? Let’s try.

I love tough challenges and I’m happiest on a vertical learning curve. If I had to pick one phrase to describe myself it would be “endlessly curious.” As such, the title of my autobiography would be I’ll Figure It Out: The Christa Avampato Story.

What would be the title of your autobiography?

creativity

In the pause: This is everyone’s job

Christa Avampato

ā€œYour job is not to judge. Your job is not to figure out if someone deserves something. Your job is to lift the fallen, to restore the broken, and to heal the hurting.ā€ ~Joel Osteen

I never thought I’d be quoting Joel Osteen in a post, but this quote of his resonates with me. There’s a lot of talk flying around in the media, our political systems, and around kitchen tables about what people deserve. I’ll admit that “deserve” is a word that makes me wince. I don’t even like to say it because I can’t stand the feel of it or its connotation. It causes a lot of finger-pointing, blame, shame, and anger, and it’s not far removed from the idea of greed, another word that makes my stomach turn.

I’d like us to suspend with the idea of who deserves what altogether. We’re all born just trying to get byā€”breathing, eating, sleeping, and trying like hell to make sense of the great world that whirls around us. We all start this way, and then life happens, scattering our influences, values, and beliefs to the wind to be carried in a countless number of directions. And some of those directions break us down. We end up lost, hurting, and disillusioned. Some of us make it through to the other side of that heartache, and some don’t. Many need help, myself included.

I have been incredibly fortunate that most of the time when I needed support, I found it in my teachers, my friends, my writing, and my therapist. Sometimes, that help came from a stranger who didn’t owe me anything and who didn’t receive anything in return except my gratitude. Miraculously, I was also born with boatloads of grit, a hefty dose of determination, and a never-say-die attitude. For better or worse, I am stubborn as hell and my headstrong nature has been my savior. A lot of people aren’t as lucky. When they are most in need, there isn’t anyone to help. They are alone. And I know that feeling, too. It’s terrifying. It makes you desperate. It causes you to think and do things that would never cross your mind on an average day. Any one of us could become that person with just a simple turn of bad luck.

It’s on those days that we most need help, and for too many people, thatĀ help doesn’t arrive. So what if we did this? What if each of us, once a week, once a month, hell once a year, saw someone who really needed help. Someone fallen, broken, or hurting. And we offered support. What if we all took it on as a small side job to lend a hand without reason, without any kind of repayment, but just because a total stranger needed us. Don’t think about how the person ended up in their current situation. Don’t judge or make a call about what they deserve. Just make it your job in that one moment, to offer support in some way with whatever you have. How would the world change if each of us did that? How would we change as people if we began to see everyone not as “other” but as one of us, as someone we could have been if our luck had been just slightly different?

creativity

In the pause: Find your door

Christa Avampato

“If it doesn’t open, it’s not your door.” ~Anonymous

Robert Spekman, my marketing professor at Darden, used to tell us that the only way you can feel better while beating your head against a wall is to stop.

Yes, you should absolutely work hard for what you want but if the joy goes out of what you’re doing, if you feel like it’s the battle of your life instead of the path of your life, then stop. At least for a moment. Sit back, close your eyes, and breathe. Is it worth it to keep going? Are you doing this out of obligation and habit, or passion and purpose? Sometimes the only way to find our door is to walk away from the one in front of us. We only have so much time. Let’s make every day, every action, count.

creativity

In the pause: Remember who you are

Christa Avampato

“She remembered who she was and the game changed.” ~Lalah Deliah

Don’t try to fit in. Focus on who you are at your core. Not who the world wants you to be, who your family and friends expect, or who you think you need to be.Put away all the titles and degrees you’ve earned.Ā Close your eyes and take a deep breath. Remember who you are. You are enough, just as you are, right now. You don’t need to change anything about yourself to change everything around you. Crawl inside your own authenticity and then live it out loud.

creativity

In the pause: Hey, wonderful you over there

Christa Avampato

ā€œHow cool is it that the same God who created mountains and oceans and galaxies looked at you and thought the world needed one of you, too.ā€ ~Unknown

Whether or not we believe in God or any kind of greater mover and shaker of the Universe, we can appreciate that the mountain, oceans, and galaxies are pretty damn marvelous. Just to share their existence, be in their presence, and appreciate their beauty is a wonder. And so are you. How fortunate we are to just be here, to be an integral part of something so miraculous. Let that idea of your own magical nature guide your weekend. See where it takes you.

creativity

In the pause: It’s time to be patient with yourself

Christa Avampato

Be patient with yourself. You’re getting there, wherever there is.

Right now I’m in the process of doing the equivalent of crate training Phineas. He didn’t respond well at all to an enclosed crate when he was younger but he’s making good progress, knock on wood, behind a gate that keeps him in the back of the apartment away from the door and the too-loud lobby of my building. Crate training takes discipline, patience, and time, three things I am also trying to give to myself as I give them to him.

We all want what we want right now. It takes time to learn a new skill. It takes patience to let ourselves evolve and grow into the very best version of ourselves. As hard as I drive myself to achieve and succeed, I also try to give myself a break and celebrate every once in a while. I look back on my life and see how far I’ve come from my days on the apple farm. It’s been a long and winding road. It wasn’t easy though from my view now, life is pretty spectacular despite the many difficulties along the way and the challenges I’m facing now. I can’t help but have this overwhelming feeling that everything really is going to be okay eventually. I’ll find what I need in every area of my life. It’s going to take time and effort, but it’s out there. It’s out there for you, too. Keep going.

creativity

In the pause: What writing my book taught me about how to spend my time

Christa Avampato

Over the last couple of weeks, I’ve talked to a lot of friends about the concept of how to spend our time. As they say, even BeyoncĆ© only has 24 hours in a day. We all have to make choices. Try as we might, we can’t do everything, at least not all at once.

So how do we decide what gets attention, effort, and time, and what has to fall by the wayside? And how can we be confident in those decisions once we make them? All I can give you is my own experience. I gave up a lot to write my book, Emerson Page and Where the Light Enters. There were many times I didn’t go out and have fun for the sake of writing, rewriting, and editing. I poured myself into that book, and that meant I spent less time on other parts of my career and personal life. I stopped teaching yoga; I took on fewer freelance projects; I spent less time trying to climb the ladder in my business career; I dated less; I made less money; I left my home in New York City to go out into the unknown. All for the sake of a book that I wasn’t sure would ever see the light of day.

You might be asking, “What the hell was she thinking?” and you’d be very right to ask.

I was thinking that if I didn’t write this book, if I didn’t get this story down and work my a*s off to get it out into the world, then I would be left with a profound sense of regret. And I don’t mean the regret varietal that goes something like, “Huh, I wonder what that would have been like.” Nope. I’m talking about the kind of regret you read in articles like Top Five Regrets of the Dying. Want to know the #1 regret in that list? “I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.” Ouch. I couldn’t live, or die, with that. I had to be true to myself now, and that meant I had to write this book. So I gave up what was needed to get it done. And there isn’t a single thing I gave up that I wish I had done instead of writing that book. Not one.

I had the great gift of a fire that nearly killed me at age 33. The 8th anniversary of that fire is about a month away, and every day since then has been gravy in my mind. I was infinitely fortunate to survive. I have tried hard to live a life I’m proud of, even if people don’t understand it, don’t agree with it, and criticize it. I hope I’m around to see 103. Seriously. If our world is this insane today, just imagine the crazy sh*t we’re going to experience in the year 2079! But if that’s not in the cards for me, that’s okay. Really. I wrote this book. It’s the creative act of my life that I’m most proud of. If and when you hold that book in any form in your hands, you are holding my heart. How great is it to be able to give that away in the hopes that it helps some one, somewhere, some time.

That’s what I did with my time here on this Earth in this life, and it was more than worth it. What’s your Emerson? Find that. Pursue that.

 

creativity

In the pause: Maybe a stressful situation is leading you to where you need to go

Christa Avampato

I’m managing through Phineas’s adjustment to our new apartment. While it’s stressful at the moment thanks to the worst neighbor we’ve ever had, last night as I drifted off to sleep I started to wonder what could be the very positive flip side to this story.

Maybe Phin and I are meant to rescue a second pup who needs a home and will be Phin’s BFF for the rest of his life. Maybe this situation is prompting me to step up my job search even more so that I can *finally* stop renting and buy my very first home. Maybe this journey to help Phin through his anxiety is leading me to someone I’m supposed to meet who will have a positive impact on my life. Or maybe it’s just meant to give me more compassion, empathy, and concern for those who are also going through stressful times.

I’m not sure if any of those narratives are true, but their possibility is helping me rest a little easier and encouraging me to keep moving forward.