creativity

A reminder on where we can go from here

Photo by Holly Mandarich on Unsplash

Here’s a reminder I know I need every day, and maybe it will help you, too — At any age and stage in life, you can:

– Start over
– Start again
– Try something brand new
– Be a beginner
– Learn
– Grow
– Change
– Evolve
– Say goodbye
– Say hello
– Forgive
– Ask for forgiveness
– Pause
– Reflect
– Discover

You are allowed to do all those things, and many at the same time. You are never just one thing or one way. Who you’ve been, what you’ve done, and where you’ve been are prologue to who you will be, what you will do, and where you will go. The past is merely setting the scene and dressing the set for all the choices you will make and the adventures you will have that lie ahead.

creativity

How to stay focused in this mad, mad world

Photo by John Cameron on Unsplash

Please don’t get distracted by claims about Greenland, the Panama Canal, the Gulf of Mexico, and all the madness that is sure to arrive in the weeks, months, and years ahead.

Focus on what needs our attention and support right now: climate issues leading to the devastating fires in Los Angeles (which may be the worst they’ve had in over 30 years), the bitter deadly cold sweeping across the U.S., and the increase in bird flu and Norovirus; social media walking back fact-checking and calling it a win for users knowing it will lead to even more rampant misinformation and conspiracy theories; further restrictions on access to healthcare; continued intense geopolitical wars and unrest all over the world; the ever-growing gap in wealth that has serious consequences, especially for the most vulnerable. There are many more I could add to that list; I’m sure you can add to that list, too.

So how can you keep your focus on what matters most and what you can actually do? Don’t get it twisted. Take care of yourself and your community, preserve your mental health and energy, and do what you can do where you are with what you have. Our collective priority needs to be caring about each other and this planet.

creativity

Are we thinking about leadership with the wrong metrics?

Photo by Steve Leisher on Unsplash

“We don’t elect a president based on policies. We shouldn’t. We should elect them for their character, because we don’t know what’s going to come up.” ~Retired Lieutenant General H.R. McMaster, former National Security Adviser

When we consider hiring (or electing) leaders, we often jump to their experience and policies. General McMaster is asking us to consider who they are. We live in a highly dynamic world. From one day to the next, we’re experiencing dramatic and sweeping changes. New information is widely and broadly disseminated at lightning speed. We need leaders who can operate in this paradigm and help others navigate it, too. 

Rather than looking at a leader’s past experience, what if we think about how they approach the future? Can a leader adapt and adjust? Are they flexible? Do they have a learning-mindset? A grow-mindset? Are they thoughtful? Are they collaborative? Do they care about the people they serve and support? Are they surrounded by bright, eager, caring people? Do they exhibit empathy and compassion? Is love a core value, and how have they demonstrated the use of love in their leadership?

How might hiring (and elections) shift if we embraced General McMaster’s advice? What kind of world might we be able to build together if the strength of someone’s character was consider at least as much as their experience and policies? 

This switch undoubtedly makes hiring and elections more nuanced, complex, and time-consuming. However, given the state of the world and rate of change we’re experiencing, leadership has never been more important to the stability of our planet and society. We deserve to have leaders who are up to the challenges of today and tomorrow. To find and hire these leaders, we need to invest the necessary time and effort to find out who they are, what we care about, and how they can help us move forward together.  

creativity

The one thing you can do to create change this International Women’s Day

While there is a lot of fanfare on International Women’s Day and much to celebrate if we look at the (very) long arc of history, gender inequities all over the world are vast and sadly, growing. In recent years, women’s gains have been reversed with actions like the repeal of Roe v. Wade in the U.S. and the outsized negative impacts of the pandemic on women such as loss of healthcare, education, and employment opportunities, increased hunger, and skyrocketing gender-based violence. 

Equal pay for equal work is still a distant dream: On average, U.S. women earn 16% less than men who do the same job, making 84 cents for every dollar earned by a man. Women of color in rural areas are paid 44% less than rural white, non-Hispanic men doing the same job, making just 56 cents for every dollar. And let’s not forget women are expected, and sometimes required and forced, to do the lion’s share or totality of work to care for children and a home at great sacrifice to their own personal wellbeing and aspirations.

To truly realize equity and equality of women, we must uplift them in real, tangible, actionable ways. So today, on this International Women’s Day, do this: listen to, encourage, and offer assistance by every means you have to help a woman in your life fulfill a dream they have, whether it’s a personal or professional endeavor. And then tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow do the same. A world of more and better opportunity for women is a better world for all people and all beings

Commit to not only celebrating International Women’s Day but making every day a day we move women closer to equity and equality in every way in business, government, and society. Women have more than earned seats at every table everywhere. Build a longer table. Add more chairs. Listen. Respond. Activate. Repeat. Again and again and again. For as long as it takes. Women are worthy.

creativity

The possibility of September

Photo by Elena Mozhvilo on Unsplash

Sweet September. Let this be a month to remember, when we dug deeper, rose higher, and found a way forward. And if we find that there is no way, then let’s build the courage, commitment, and community to make one. There is so much in our world, and often in ourselves, to revitalize, regenerate, and renew.

I see September as my new year, a time when what is worn falls away so that new seeds for new beginnings can be planted. Not all of them will take root. Some relationships will fizzle. Some tasks, or even whole jobs and vocations, will no longer hold our attention. The place we have called home may feel less like one.

When this happens, there’s a bit of mourning, maybe even some regrets. The wouldas, couldas, and shouldas will start making themselves known and heard. It’s okay to have a listen, and then decide what lessons we’ll take with us into the next harvest. Sime of the seeds to planted with begin to reach for the light. Those are the ones that deserve our attention.

In time, we’ll find our rhythm again. We’ll meet someone new or see someone we’ve known in a new light. We’ll discover or rediscover the work that lights us up. We may even find that home is not a place at all, but a feeling, a sense of self we can take with us anywhere and everywhere we go.

This September I hope our lives are filled with love and joy and peace, and that we will find all the ways to make it so for ourselves and others. Happy weekend.

creativity

Ending a relationship with a writing client

Photo by Ross Findon on Unsplash

Today I ended my relationship with a client I’ve worked with since 2015. Over 8 years, 5 editors, and hundreds of interviews, I wrote 50+ pieces for them on education, travel, healthcare, science, and culture. It was a wonderful experience and I’m very grateful for all of the opportunities I had with them. I wish them all the best. Now I’m excited to write for new publications and I’m open to referrals, ideas, and suggestions.

To be true to ourselves, sometimes we have to move on from where we’ve been. It’s not easy to let go of clients or to turn down work, especially when the work is comfortable and easy. But in this new chapter of my life, I’ve committed to only doing work I can do with my whole heart. That means that I have to make tough choices, but I know they’re the right choices for me. I’m excited to see how this space I’ve created in my client book will take shape.

creativity

My alive day — 13 years ago today

13 years ago today my New York City apartment building caught fire and I was almost trapped in the building. I used to think of this day as the worst day of my life. Now after all this time, I’ve made it into something that made me better. I became a writer and found Emerson. I learned the true value of my life. The PTSD I had got me into therapy so I could heal from trauma I’d had since childhood. It got me out of a terrible relationship and out of a job I hated. I adopted Phineas as an emotional support dog a year later.

A lot of people helped me in that immediate aftermath. They gave me a place to stay while I looked for a new apartment, helped me find my new apartment, gave me support at work, gave me the legal language to confront my landlord to get my deposit back and get out of my lease, let me borrow an air mattress, went to look at apartments with me, recommended a therapist, and 9 months before the fire had recommended rental insurance that saved me financially. So many checked on me regularly to see how I was doing. One recently checked on me after a large fire erupted in New York City earlier this year as he knows fires can still be a trigger for me. Healing takes a village, and I’m so grateful for mine.

Fire transforms everything it touches and it certainly transformed me. This healing was hard-won. I went through a lot of dark days to get here, almost ending it all at one low point. Though I’d never wish this experience on anyone, I wouldn’t wish it away for me. I have a few other big anniversaries of healing coming up. I’m not as at peace with those yet as I am with my fire. I hope time and distance will ease them, too.

creativity

Write every day: Change by Design—Remembering C.T. Vivian and John Lewis

Today Civil Rights leader C.T. Vivian will be laid to rest. The minister of the movement, he passed just hours before John Lewis, albeit having lived 15 years longer. For over 60 years, the two of them fought side-by-side, shoulder-to-shoulder, in the same direction toward equality.

The example of their lives is a blueprint for us now in this great moment of change. This Civil Rights Movement was strategically and meticulously planned with an end goal and the steps to get there. The leaders and activists were committed, not just for a day or a month or a year, but for a lifetime. Rosa Parks didn’t just decide in the moment to sit down on a bus. Rosa Parks was trained in resistance. She had picked, planned, and was prepared for that moment, and a lifetime of backlash for it. The Montgomery Bus Boycott didn’t just happen because of her courageous action. They studied their opponent. They had a goal, and were dedicated and determined to reach it.

This is true for the Civil Rights Movement. It’s also true for suffrage and for social changes like reforms in the mental healthcare system driven by people such as Nellie Bly. They were purposeful and plotted step-by-step. Systemic change needs a plan. It takes unwavering commitment on many fronts by many people. Do we have the commitment for it?

None of these movements were perfect. Not by a long shot. The Civil Rights Movement often marginalized women; Rosa Parks was one of the few people in the room when that planning was happening and she was given the role of secretary because that was women’s work. Suffrage marginalized women of color to a terrible degree. In recent years, this has been written about more often but not enough. Even John Lewis’s speech at the March on Washington was changed at the last minute, not because he wanted to change it but because the other senior leaders of the March asked him to change it for fear that the anger in his words would upset President Kennedy and decrease their chances of success. Congressman Lewis wouldn’t publicly discuss these changes and his feelings about it until many years later. You can read the initial draft and the final, and hear him discuss his feelings about it, at this link.

History will often wash over the details of these movements. I’m not sure why. Maybe because in the details we lose a bit of the romance, serendipity, and drama of it all. Or maybe it’s because we don’t have the patience to really study and understand them. Their lessons take resolve to learn, embody, and put into practice.

Lasting change is difficult, painfully and sadly slow at a times, and expensive in terms of time, energy, and real dollars. We can best honor and continue the bravery and thoughtful actions of our elders now by wrestling with and answering the difficult questions before us:

Who and what needs to change? How and at what cost? And who pays? Do we have the lifetime commitment for it? Do we have the resolve and decisiveness that C.T. Vivian, John Lewis, and so many others had? Are we willing to come together and collaborate rather than divide our energies and efforts? Will we embrace one another and lift up each other in this work?

Because without that, nothing and no one changes. Systemic change takes systemic solutions, and it needs many hands, hearts, and minds. Change doesn’t happen by accident; it’s made by design. We must now be those designers as the torch passes to us. What will we do with it?

creativity

Write every day: The future’s up to us

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Rose Eveleth

“I have a healthy relationship w/ the future. The future hasn’t been written yet…Remember we can do something. People need to show up. You feel terrible about climate change? Then do something about climate change.”

Have anxiety about the future? I’ve got something for you that will help. Listen to this Ologies Podcast episode about futurology with Rose Eveleth of the Flash Forward podcast. She is realistic and optimistic, and I love her message of empowerment and action. You will feel better after listening to this episode. Given the state of the world right now, we have to do everything we can to pick up ourselves and pick up others so we can all keep working together toward a brighter future.

Link to the podcast episode: https://www.alieward.com/ologies/futurology

 

creativity

Write every day: Are you in the messy middle?

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John Bucher

Are you in the messy middle, at the gateway of contemplation (which is my tattoo!), in the space between “no more” and “not yet”? Then listen to my brilliant and inspiring friend and writing mentor, John Bucher, on the Story Gatherings podcast. Link to podcast episode here: http://storygathering.libsyn.com/a-conversation-with-john-bucher-on-liminal-space