Category: learning

failure, future, learning, mistakes, risk

Step 320: The Joy of Big Mistakes

Christa Avampato

“Mistakes are not the “spice” of life. Mistakes are life. Mistakes are not to be tolerated. They are to be encouraged. (And, mostly, the bigger the better.)” ~ Tom Peters

How many adventures have been stopped in their tracks by the question, “What if I make a mistake?” How many dreams have died an untimely death? How many brilliant plans were left behind on the drawing board, never even getting a shot at the light of day? We hear so often that mistakes are our best teachers, that we learn more from failures than successes. So why don’t we celebrate mistakes? Why are we bent on telling people to always do what appears on the surface to be safe? Why does risk, any risk to any degree, have a negative connotation?

Here’s my advice on mistakes: start small with the aspiration to go big. I’d love to chuck caution to the wind, quit my job and do nothing but write and teach yoga. Truly, I’d wake up glowing every day, at least for the first week. And then I’d get nervous about money and I’d probably make some choices that compromise the work I really want to do with my yoga and my writing just to make ends meet. I’d likely save less, inhibiting my financial goals, and I wouldn’t be able to pay down my students loans as aggressively as I’d like to.

So my plan is to rent a small studio space once a week. The cash outlay isn’t much and I can rent week to week. I’m stepping up and out, taking some risk (mostly the potential of a very bruised ego if no one shows up to my class, which I can live with), and trying to strike out on my own in an authentic, meaningful way. I’m learning how to fly before jumping off the cliff. But don’t worry – I’m making my way to that cliff, and the moment I get a bit more confidence in my wings nothing will keep me from taking a running start right toward the edge.

Getting comfortable with risk, mistakes, and failure takes some time. Don’t beat yourself up for needing to take things slow. Inch your way to your edge. It’s a step-wise process. Go slowly, but earnestly. Rather than aiming higher for the sake of bigger successes, I’m going to focus on upping the anty and aiming for bigger mistakes. Thanks to Tom Peters for always encouraging us to jump right into the fray – it’s more fun in the fray than out of the fringe.

learning, yoga

Step 297: Back to Basics

Christa Avampato

The beginning months of the school year make me think about getting back to fundamental pieces of learning. As we move along our path, it’s easy to get caught up in perfecting our advanced skills that we have layered on to our basics. To improve the whole of our abilities it’s important to revisit what started us on our journey.

I’ve been going to a Saturday morning yoga class at New York Sports Club for a few weeks. I’ve heard a lot of people down yoga classes taught at gyms. I first learned yoga through private instruction, but my first regular group classes happened as a gym so for me, a gym setting for yoga is perfectly natural. I kind of like the extra concentration I have to put in to drown out the clank of the weights just outside the group exercise room. Yoga classes are not as popular in New York gyms as they are in New York yoga studios so there’s always plenty of room to spread out at my class. I guess not so great for the gym, but plenty great for me!

Brian, my instructor, offers a comforting, easy-to-follow hatha class. No fancy vinyasa (flow) sequences. Some Sanskrit (the original language of yoga), a bit of meditation, and a focus on the breath. He’s kind and caring, and offers just enough challenge without overwhelming his students with options. He focuses on basic asanas (postures), which gives me the opportunity to remember why the foundation of our learning and our practice, in any discipline, is so important.

Focusing on basics in this yoga class reminds me of one of my favorite quotes: “If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them.” ~ Henry David Thoreau, American Author. (This inspiration sparked one of my blog posts this summer about why it’s important to step up to a cause that calls us.) It’s fun to imagine wild and far out possibilities, to build ideal dreams. Brian’s class also helps me remember that the basics can be as fun as they are necessary.

learning, mentor, teaching, writing

Step 289: 5 Ways to Effectively Use Our Windows of Wisdom

Christa Avampato

?What If! Innovation is one of my favorite innovation firms. They have a resource they use to get at key insights called “WOWs”, short for “Windows of Wisdom”. Everyone has them. Pieces of experience, knowledge, and expertise that give us special insights into how things work, or how they should work. They help us build empathy and compassion for specific circumstances. Being a parent, having a pet, living in a certain city, how we commute to work, what we do all day to earn a living, what we read, watch on TV, and hobbies we take up in our free time. It all matters – who we are is largely determined by how and with whom we spend our time.

Never underestimate WOWs, yours or anyone else’s. Insight is an elusive, odd beast that shows up in the strangest ways at the strangest times. Our WOWs are handy little assets to always keep in our back pockets. They help us recognize opportunities, and can be used for the greater good. Be generous with them – share what you know.

Here are 5 ways to put your WOWs to work:

1.) Crowding sourcing databases. A quick Google search will provide a myriad of agencies that now list crowd sourcing as an expertise and they need communities of people to be their experts. Their business depends on it. So get out there, join some of them, get compensated (in a variety of ways), and put your experience to work.

2.) Mentor or teach. Young people need our stories and example, now more than ever. Mentoring and teaching is the ultimate gift we can give because it involves generously sharing our own history. Check out sites like Takepart.com or Volunteermatch.org to find mentoring opportunities near you.

3.) Write. Writing in any form is helpful to connect us to others, to inspire, and to learn. Blog, comment on blogs, write a column or an op-ed, get involved in online communities of people with common interests. Put your thoughts out there generously and you’ll be surprised by the goodness you get in return.

4.) Create partnerships. Think of networking as finding like-minded partners. Write letters to people you admire – that’s how I wrote my column for Examiner that ultimately became my e-book, Hope in Progress. Online communities and Twitter are other great places to find potential partners who are as passionate as you are about your interests.

5.) Start a side business. Your key insights can be leveraged creatively to generate extra income. My interest in yoga led me to pursue my 200-hour RYT training and my creation of Compass Yoga. My interest in the art of writing led to my freelance writing work. Your hobbies can help you do well and do good at the same time when you share them with the world.

How have you put your experience to work for you?

education, learning, student, teaching, yoga

Step 286: Teaching to Improve Ourselves and Our Students

Christa Avampato

“Teaching is the greatest act of optimism.” ~ Colleen Wilcox

I thought about this quote on Monday night as I wrapped up my second yoga class at Columbia Law School. I was more familiar with the space this time, brought some new music, and recognized some repeat students. Teaching requires improvisation. We explain something a specific way, see if the meaning is registering with the students, and if not, we try something else. No time for judgment. We’ve got to get better with each moment. Teachers constantly seek to improve themselves and their students. It is an act of constant faith in our ability, in the journey, and in one another.

With each yoga class I teach, I find myself walking in and thinking “I want this to be the best class I’ve ever given.” Usually it falls short of my expectations, no matter how much effort I put into it. I always end up jotting down a page of notes that detail things I could have done better. I take that page and plow into the next class, confident that there will always be another page of improvements from that next class. The cycle of continuous improvement never ends in teaching. It is the gift that truly keeps on giving so long as we keep showing up.

learning, teaching, yoga

Step 280: Don’t Judge a Yogi By Her Appearance

Christa Avampato

I went to a yoga class last week and immediately felt I had made a mistake. A seemingly out of shape instructor walked into the studio with a high-pitched voice. I started plotting my exit strategy.

And then I remembered a comment my yoga teacher, Jeffrey, said during my teacher training at Sonic Yoga. “Every yoga class is a gift, no matter who the instructor is.” So I stayed, and karma taught me that appearances can be deceiving. For the next hour I was challenged and pushed to my limit more than I’ve been in any yoga class in a long time. She had me trying some feats that I have never attempted before. And after my hard work, my body floated into pincha mayurasana for the first time ever. I was astonished. How did this happen?

There’s a time and a place for confidence and ego, and there’s a much more frequent time and place for humility and the squashing of the ego. While we think our ego lifts us up, I learned very quickly in that yoga class that the ego actually weighs us down and prevents us from achieving the heights we’re capable of. I vowed to stop judging anyone, particularly yogis. Thanks, Jeffrey.

change, learning, Life, relationships, values

Step 248: 8 Lessons From My Apartment Building Fire, One Year Later

Christa Avampato

Today marks the 1 year anniversary of my apartment building fire. In some ways, I cannot believe it’s gone by so quickly and in other ways I can’t believe how much change has happened in a year. So net-net, it feels like it has been a productive year with a lot of learning. Sometimes I still shiver at the thought of the circumstances and what could have happened if everything had gone horribly wrong, if I hadn’t followed my instincts. I wrote a series of posts on this blog that recount the difficult days after the fire. They begin with my post on September 5, 2009.

The building has reopened and the walls have been painted over a pristine white. You’d never know that one year ago a fire ripped through the hallways, but every time I walk by it, I still feel the gravity of what happened there one year ago. To commemorate and celebrate the occasion, here are the top 10 things I learned as a result of my fire:

1.) I now trust my gut 99% of the time. Trusting my gut on September 5, 2009 saved my life. I had every reason to discount the feeling of dread that I felt in my kitchen when I heard my heat pipes ticking. Something told me to look a little closer, and that’s when I saw the tiles on the floor heaving. I quickly got to my stairs, without over-thinking what was happening, and despite the thick black smoke, I kept running for my life. Had I delayed even a few minutes or second-guessed my gut, the consequences would have been dire.

2.) It’s okay to ask for help. In the days after my fire, I really tried to pretend that everything was fine, that I was fine, that I was strong and invincible. The truth is that I’m strong, and human. I needed help to sort out the trauma that followed my fire and started to see Brian, my life coach. We started on a journey of self-discovery together and it is one of the most rewarding relationships of my life.

3.) Someone who wants me to move through a traumatic situation at lightning speed for his own sake is not worth having in my life. At the time of my fire, I was dating a guy whom I had really fallen for. He was a prince the day of the fire, though as soon as he saw that this wasn’t just a little blip on the radar screen of my life, he showed the less appealing side of his character. Things quickly unraveled and while we tried to maintain some kind of relationship right after our romance ended, I quickly walked away and have never looked back. That departure started a year-long effort to only have people in my life who believe that love and friendship are a two-way street.

4.) There really is no time like the present. I was sort of floating through life a year ago. I had a job that was okay, but that I honestly felt no passion for. I had been thinking of moving to a more mission-based organization, and now one year later I’m fully on that path. Destination unknown, but I know I’m moving in the right direction now by taking steps toward moving my career toward public education.

5.) Empathy is a must in all of my relationships. At the time of my fire, I worked for a woman who can only be described as wretched. She was not the least bit sympathetic toward my situation, and actually gave me a hard time about taking one day off to work with my insurance company and loaded up my plate with additional work. That moment was a definite breaking point for me, and I decided from then on that I would never work with that type of person again. Empathy is now a non-negotiable in every area of my life. (I got out of the situation with that former boss several months later, and found my way to a better internal position at my company.)

6.) True friends can celebrate with you and cry with you. I’ve had people in my life who are fair weather friends and friends who only show up when the chips are down. Real friends are the ones who show up in both kinds of situations, and everything in between. I’m blessed to have so many people in my life who fit that description.

7.) Your stuff really is just stuff. I lost almost all of my material belongings in the fire. A few things survived, but I essentially had to rebuild my material life. I had gotten to a point where I really valued my material possessions. Now, it’s just not that important to me. I only replaced the essentials – I just didn’t want “things” anymore, and I still don’t. I down-sized in a big way and feel lighter. Even if everything went up in smoke again, so long as my health and the safety of others were preserved, I really would be okay. I am not what I own. (However, PLEASE go get renter’s insurance. The peace of my mind that my Liberty Mutual policy brought me was immense. I had enough emotional fall-out to deal with from the fire itself, so not having to deal with a major financial crisis on top of it was worth every penny of my $200 annual policy.)

8.) This too shall pass. And by “this”, I mean everything. Everything always changes, the good, the bad, and the indifferent. My yoga practice has helped me accept and embrace this fact that my fire so brilliantly illuminated. And it led me to pursue my yoga teacher certification and the founding of Compass Yoga to share these insights.

Not a bad year of learning. And despite the unfortunate circumstances, my fire is the gift that keeps on giving. The lessons I learned as a result have brought tremendous peace and gratitude to my life. It couldn’t have been more unexpected, and looking back I can’t say I’d wish it hadn’t happened. It woke me up, which is exactly what I needed.

The image above is a picture of one of the hallways in my apartment building after the fire.

children, learning

Step 247: Small Moments of Character Taught by Kids

Christa Avampato

“Character may be manifested in the great moments, but it is made in the small ones.” ~ Phillips Brooks

For the Labor Day holiday, I’m down in Florida with my family. We’re having lots of small moments – no crazy plans, no additional travel. Mostly hanging out at home, watching movies, and grilling out. Vacations down here feel like real vacations with no schedule, no requirements.

What always amazes me about time with my little nieces is the amount of lessons they teach me. My niece, Lorelei, thinks that calling someone means using Skype, not the phone. She loves everything with a glowing screen. Every greeting card is expected to have its own microchip that plays a song. But what’s wonderful is her fascination with activities that are as old-fashioned as they get. Baking cookies, blowing bubble in the backyard, and twirling while singing her heart out. Adults constantly complain about being overloaded by technology. Lorelei doesn’t. She has incorporated it seamlessly into her life – she uses it only when she feels like it.

It’s small moments of realization like this that remind me how much learning can be packed into every day, with no extra work needed, just a greater sense of awareness and a desire to connect the dots. It’s a big benefit of spending a lot of time with kids – they show us how much wonder the world can hold. I’m excited to see what other great lessons my girls will teach me over the next few days and how they’ll change how I see the world.

books, children, education, learning, nostalgia, school

Step 245: Back to School and Life Lessons

Christa Avampato

“The difference between school and life? In school, you’re taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you’re given a test that teaches you a lesson.” ~ Tom Bodett, American author and humorist

I love school. Weez is always kidding me that if I could find a way to be a student for the rest of my life and get paid for it, I’d do it. In truth, I kind of do that now. I’m an information junkie. Lots of data served up with a heaping side of industry reports please. All industries welcome. My education has followed me into the workplace and then follows me home, to the gym, out to dinner. Every experience become an opportunity to learn – and become writing material.

I went to my local CVS yesterday and nostalgically walked through the school supply aisle. Advertisements abound all over the city, in every retail window, saying “stock up for school here.” School is part of why I love the Fall – back to school might just be my favorite holiday. Everything is shiny, new, and full of promise. Sometimes people ask me how I did so well in school and managed so many extracurriculars. Some people even warned me that I was taking on too much, that I couldn’t possibly get it all done. People are funny and they project.

To be sure, I studied a lot. Kid geniuses really fascinate me because I wasn’t someone who just knew everything the moment I read it. I am a really good student, work very hard, and have a dangerously high level of curiosity. Truly, I can ask “why?” until the cows come home and never be satisfied. (Ask my mom.) I had to study and practice all the way through business school. I study and practice now, and love it. I learn the lesson, really learn it, get the test, pass. Simple. Linear. Logical. It’s true of school, and mostly true of work, too, so long as I’m working for someone else.

This whole paradigm changes, as Tom Bodett explains so brilliantly, when we leave behind school and work and just have to live in the world. Or when we start our own business or some kind of personal endeavor. Relationships of every kind fall into this class, too. You can’t study or think your way through them. You really do have to give it a whirl, maybe screw up, maybe succeed, and take note of the outcome so the next time around you can improve. It’s not fair, I know, but that’s life. You take the test, hand it in, and then figure out how it shoulda, coulda, woulda been done if you had known better. But you didn’t, and you can’t, so you just show up and do your best. Welcome to a life of improv.

A lot of my life now is about being tested and then receiving the lesson. Yoga, Innovation Station, my writing. I can study and read about these subjects all I want (and I do!), but eventually I know I’ve got to take off the training wheels, go careening down the road, learn from my mistakes, get up, and try again. I didn’t know anything about social media 3 years ago, so I started this blog. I didn’t know how to write a book, so I wrote Hope in Progress. I didn’t know how to swim so I jumped in the pool (with a lifeguard nearby) and paddled around. That’s life, too – try your luck and see how it goes.

I’ll be thinking about this idea over the next few weeks as I see the school buses become part of our traffic patterns and kids skipping home with backpacks and lunch boxes in tow. We’re all learning – students of school just have the benefit of a better sequence of events than students of life.

dreams, family, learning, relationships

Step 206: Dreams Must Be Lived

Christa Avampato

My niece, Lorelei, lives in her tutu. It’s one of the first things she asks for in the morning. She loves to put it on, along with her dancing shoes (little black patent leather shoes with bows on the sides), and tap around on the kitchen tiles. She’d be thrilled if we could tile the whole world like a kitchen. She’ll spin, belt out a few Disney musical tunes, and take a bow. She invites everyone else to join in.

Her tutu transforms her – she takes on a new persona with it. It’s her special everyday costume. As I danced around the kitchen with her almost every morning of my vacation, I wondered what my tutu is. What is that one thing I have that transforms me into exactly the person I want to be? What helps me put away any fears I feel for the sake of just living to the fullest?

I have a white puffy calf-length skirt that I bought several years ago. I live in it during the summer. I love to twirl around in it. It makes me feel like I’m in some far away place, like I’m an explorer. It’s one of the few things that survived the fire in my apartment building. I have no idea how the specialty cleaner got the smoke and soot out of it. I bet they bleached the heck out it, and I’m glad they did. That skirt is my version of a tutu.

I’m not a clotheshorse – I actually hate shopping, particularly shopping for clothing. I do think it’s important to have one item that helps us to actualize and crystallize our lives exactly as we wish them to be. It helps to keep dreams in the forefront of our minds.

This week, I worked on numbers, letters, and vocabulary with Lorelei. She taught me about the value of not only having dreams, but also acting out our dreams. I think I got the better end of the deal.

The photo above is my niece, Lorelei, dancing in her tutu. If you have your version of a tutu, I’d love to hear about it!

creativity, determination, frustration, learning, Life, loss, luck, mistakes, presentation, producer, television, trend

Step 199: Why I Hate Reality TV Shows With Elimination Rounds

Christa Avampato

I have a hard time watching reality TV, especially when elimination rounds are involved. I get nervous for the contestants as if I’m on the show myself. I never knew why until my brother-in-law recently shared his view on these shows: “You don’t get judged on the body of your work; one mistake and you’re gone.” This is a horrible lesson to reinforce in our society.

Real success comes from trying a lot of different ideas, taking risks, and learning from failures as well as achievements. To support the idea that one false move means you’re down for the count is just plain dumb. Real life isn’t like that, making the idea of this kind of “reality” TV anything but.

My brother-in-law had an idea: why don’t we let all of the contestants stay until the end and have the judging be on the full season of work, not just one dish, one task, or one song? Have the weekly winners actually win something extra. Let people learn from their weekly mistakes, and actually see what they do with what they learn. That would be a reality TV show worth watching.