“Pay attention to the intricate patterns of your existence that you take for granted.” ~ Doug Dillon
Good and not-so-good, patterns hold knowledge. We experience this during those wonderful times when we’re “on a roll”, when we’re tapped in and things seem to fall right into their own perfect places. We also become all too-aware of patterns when we find ourselves on a rough jag when nothing seems to go our way. In both types of circumstances, I’ve found that if I focus on finding the pattern then I feel much more empowered. It takes the emotion out of it. My confidence and outlook are buoyed. Then, I can put my energy toward healthy patterns and release those that don’t serve.
For a long time, I was stuck in a pattern of jobs that would begin well and then quickly unravel. As it turned out, I wasn’t meant to work for anyone else. I was meant to work for me. Once I made that switch, and clearly articulated that to myself and to others, a lot of opportunities revealed themselves. To bring those opportunities to light, I needed to be clear about what I wanted and why. And I’ve had to become very adept at walking away from what seem like good opportunities because they are not the right fit for me. (I recently learned this lesson again, and will recount that story in a later post.)
In my personal life, I used to date guys who “needed” me in the very broad sense of the world. And while that felt great at the start, all of those relationships eventually ended because I was exhausted by that dance. Now I realize what I need is someone who needs me but is also just fine on his own, too. “Better together” is the more compatible match for me. I have a busy life full of things I love and I need someone else who feels the same way about his own life and work.
These epiphanies were there all along. I just needed to take the time to look for the patterns of behavior and motivation that made them so. And these discoveries were well worth the time and effort it took to realize them; they’ve lead to more joy and less stress. What more could I ask for?