I use December to take stock of my life and to make plans for 2017. Already, I can see some exciting changes and opportunities on the horizon. It will take work and planning to bring them to life, and luckily those actions are in my control. Now’s the time.
Tag: time
Wonder: Write one word at a time
“There’s only one way to write a book: one word at a time.” ~R. Edward Freeman
It took me two years to write my book, Where the Light Enters. Books have a long life, in their creation and, hopefully, in the hearts and minds of readers. Two years can feel like a long time to work on one single project. Even at my most frustrated times, I was determined to push through and finish. During that process, I often thought about my professor, mentor, and friend, Ed Freeman, the author of many books that have influenced how I see the world and my role in it, as a writer and as a business person. In every moment, all I had to do was write the next word. That mantra helped me keep going.
You might be in the middle of a project now. Maybe you’ve been working on it for a long time. Maybe you feel like you’re spinning in circle, going nowhere fast. These are the times that require more attention, not less. These are times when we must double down, not run away. I know it’s tempting to chase the next new thing. I know the exhilaration born of a new start and a blank page. Don’t quit now. Don’t throw in the towel. Resist the urge to run. Sit. Breathe. And see what happens. Let your drive to tell a story as honestly and clearly as possible be greater than your fear of falling short. Just take it one word as a time.
Wonder: The greatest lesson of life
One of the greatest blessings of being Phineas’s mom is that he makes me remember that every moment counts. There isn’t a single walk, snuggle, or smile that I take for granted with him. Yesterday when I had to take him to the ER for his back again, I was reminded, painfully so, that we have only so much time and that every day is a gift that we are never promised. Each day deserves the best we can give. There isn’t any time to waste. While I wish that realization wasn’t so heavy, maybe it needs to be. Maybe that truth is so significant that we need to feel the weight of it to really understand it.
For the next few days I’ll be home for most of the time monitoring Phineas to make sure his medication and rest is working. I’ll be writing, doing yoga, and meditating on just how lucky I am to care for a being that has taught me the most important lesson of life with absolute certainty—that we must do as much good as we can wherever we are with whatever we’ve got, and be grateful for the opportunity to do so.
Wonder: It’s always a good time to pursue your dream
“Hold fast to dreams for it dreams die, life is a broken-winged bird that cannot fly. Hold fast to dreams for if dreams go, life is a barren field frozen with snow.” ~Langston Hughes
The guy I’m meant to be with believes in dreams as much as I do. On Sunday I went on a date with a new guy. He talked so passionately about food policy and public policy, the field that he studied for his PhD so I was surprised when he said he was an examiner at the patent office. I asked him why he wasn’t pursuing his passion around food in some way, even through hobbies and in his free time, and his response bummed me out: “At this point in my life, I’ve accepted that the best I can do is have a job I don’t hate.” Ouch! This person will never possibly understand me or appreciate my belief in dreams.
I’m a firm believer in the idea that we come across the people we do, when we do, for a very important reason. Though this guy and I are roughly the same age, we are miles apart in terms of how we think about life, our dreams, and our purpose. His response made me believe in my path more than ever, and strengthened my resolve to find someone who see dreams and life the way that I do. I can’t imagine ever giving up on my dreams. Even if I don’t achieve all of them, the pursuit is more than worth it. And so is yours. Please don’t give up. We can all do better than just having a job we don’t hate.
Wonder: It’s time to dream bigger
We put a fair amount of time and effort into shielding ourselves from disappointment by shrinking our dreams. What if we just realized that we are strong enough to roll with the punches, whatever they are and however often they come? And what if we redeployed the energy we spend on shielding ourselves from disappointment into actually hoping for and working for the best possible outcome? What if we took that energy to dream bigger and then make those dreams come true? Let’s do that. Let’s expand our view of what we think is possible, what we believe we can do, and how far we think we can go. And then let’s encourage other people to do the same. Dream it, and then bring it to life.
Wonder: How to make sure you’re making time for your priorities
“We must learn to say no to some opportunities in order to say yes to our priorities.” ~Jocelyn K. Glei
I’ve been thinking a lot about this idea lately. We have taken the idea of “when opportunity knocks…” to an extreme limit. We worry about what people will think, say, and do if we don’t do X, Y, and Z. It’s a lot to manage. Recently I’ve gone back to an old filter I used to use that served me well for a long time. Here it is: If I can’t say “hell, yes” to an opportunity, then it’s a “no”. I’m going to try it again and see how it goes. How do you separate opportunities from priorities?
Wonder: Trust the timing of your life
We have to trust the timing of our lives. Maybe you haven’t met the love of your life yet, or you haven’t quite found the right home, job, city, or hobby. Maybe things are leaving your life in greater numbers than you’d like and you’re looking around at a lot of metaphorical or physical empty space.
Please take this post as a sign that what is happening to you now must be the thing that happens in order for you to become the person you’re meant to be with the life you’re meant to have. All of this—the good, the bad, and the ugly—is driving you toward your best self. It’s helping you evolve, grow, learn, and discover. Sometimes these things are difficult and uncomfortable. Sometimes there isn’t a way to know what’s going to happen next no matter how much we plan. There will never be enough plan Bs (or Cs or Ds or Es!) to give us 100% security.
The vast majority of life is unknown and unknowable. The best we can do is trust the process, trust our ability to persevere, and trust that what matters most is the learning. That’s where all great progress begins.
Wonder: Why hope matters
Don’t you hate it when you’re having a tough time and someone’s first reaction is, “oh you’ll be fine.” My first thought is always “how the hell do you know that?” And then my second thought is, “they’re right. I am going to be fine. I’ve gotten this far, haven’t I?”
In the midst of any kind of stress, it’s easy to feel down-trodden, to feel like it’s never going to get better. But bit by bit, step by step, day by day, we can and do make things better. I know it’s not easy. I know that it sometimes feels like we’re going backward or in the completely opposite direction of where we think we want to go. And maybe you are. When that happens to me, in time I realize that’s the way I had to go—completely out of the way!—to find something or someone I needed to move forward.
Goodness knows there is plenty to be disappointed about in the world today. Flip on the news in any channel of your choice, and it’s there front and center – violence, heartbreak, and a massive amount of fear. It makes you want to tear your hair out, right? I certainly feel that way at some point every day. And then I have to remind myself that yes, I am just one person and yes, I can have an impact. I can at least shape my very tiny corner of the world through my time, energy, attention, and funds. Once I remember that, I find myself replacing those feelings of helplessness with pure hopefulness. And I’ve found that hope is where all great change begins.
Wonder: 7 years ago today my world was changed by fire
7 years ago today my apartment building caught fire and I had to start over in every sense. I feel so many emotions on this anniversary though the one now that is more prominent than others is grateful.
In the middle of that soot-covered apartment that day I had no idea what to do, where to go, or how to feel. Mostly, I was scared and filled with what-if scenarios. Had I hesitated even a minute longer, it’s unlikely that I would have made it out of the building.
I thought that day was the worst day of my life because it sent me down into a very dark and terrifying spiral—mentally, physically, and emotionally. Now with the benefit of time, I see that day as one of my best.
That day set the course I’m still following, causing me to let go of the things that don’t help me live my best life and to take chances every day. That fire caused me to lose a lot of things I loved, and it also helped to create space for me to build something brand new.
That process of rebuilding has been beautiful and terrible, and I consider all of it a great gift because it helped me to know and appreciate just how strong and resilient I am. And those are things worth knowing.
Wonder: Give yourself time
I’ve been at new job for six weeks and I’m working hard to get up-to-speed in a new industry with a product that has an aggressive timeline to launch. I’m learning so much and by the end of the week I’m spent. And I know I still have so much to learn.
I’m very likely to be tough on myself expecting myself to be 100% up-to-speed with very little runway. While that helps me in some respects it certainly harms me in others. Six weeks, especially in the summer, isn’t much time at all. I’ve got many more questions to ask and many more things to learn. And that’s okay. I’m climbing the mountain one step at a time, and I’m giving myself the chance to reflect on every view.
Christa Avampato 