I tell wonder-filled stories about hope and healing
We all have a choice to make every morning—stay in bed and hope for a brighter tomorrow or make the most of the day we’re given. Sometimes it’s a harder choice than we’d like it to be, but I’ll tell you this: never once have I gotten up to chase a dream and regretted it at the end of the day, regardless of the outcome. Get out there and give it everything you’ve got. Time’s the one resource you can never recover.
I believe in the power of hard work, persistence, and determination. I think 99.9% of life’s circumstances can be fixed. I’m not saying it’s easy; I’m saying it’s possible. And you’ve got a choice to make: is what (or who) needs fixing worth your time to do the fixing? We’ve got a finite amount of time and energy, and that time and energy has to be put to good use. We have to find a way to be efficient and make as big a difference as we can. Some people and some circumstances just aren’t worth it.
I know it’s not always easy to let it go. I’ll even go so far as to say it’s never easy to let it go. But sometimes the best thing you can do, for yourself and for others, is to just walk away. Put your energy into what (and who) matters most. You have the right to make that choice. We all do. And don’t wait until you’re a certain age. You don’t know how much time or good health you have. Each moment you have is just as precious as any other moment, and they should all be treated like the gifts that they are.
“The trouble is, you think you have time.” ~Buddha
Immediately after I finish one of my paper collages, I replace it with a blank one on my easel. That may sound a bit over zealous. Shouldn’t I at least give myself some time to just revel in being done with a project before pushing on?
Ed, my teacher, mentor, and friend, posted this quote from the Buddha a few days ago and it really struck me. I’m very conscious of the passage of time. Some might say too conscious of it. I’ve known, loved, and lost too many people too soon, and the same is true for many of my friends. We think we have time, but really, time has us.
I’ve learned the hard way that it’s much better to look at a blank canvas that symbolizes our next great potential project than to spend our time looking back at our accomplishments. I’ll save the reflection for when I’m very old and gray and less able to do. Now is a time for moving forward and crafting what comes next.
“I would rather be a hot mess of bold action, a make-it-happen-learn-on-the-fly kind of person, than a perfectly organized coward.” ~ Brendon Burchard
This quote resonates with me in such a powerful way. We might think we have all our ducks in a row, that we’ve accounted for every possibility, and yet we find that life has a funny way of throwing us the curve ball we never saw coming. Contingency plans won’t save us. Our abilities to adapt, evolve, grow, and learn are our saving graces. They are the things that will help us not only survive, but thrive, in a world that will always change. I don’t rely on my organizational skills to get by; instead, I believe that I can and will handle whatever life throws my way. Courage to face our challenges head-on is everything.
Kaufman and Hart were right about so many things, especially this – you can’t take it with you. Everything that you can hold in your hands will eventually break or be tossed aside. I don’t collect things. I don’t even like the idea of having too many things beyond the basic necessities. I am constantly amazed by how few material things I need to love a good life. What I collect and cherish are the things that will last a lifetime: the amazing relationships I have with people and the memories of experiences we have together. So let’s put our attention and energy where it really counts: focused on the people who make our lives so worth living.
On Thursday night I pulled my quadricep playing soccer. I’ll be limping around for the next little while it heals. There’s not much I can do for a pulled muscle except rest it so I’m spending most of this cold rainy weekend inside reading, writing, playing piano, listening to music and podcasts, and working on my next paper collage. Time and creativity make a magical healing duo.
My fall allergies are kicking in a bit and I’ve been sneezing up a storm. I think this caused me to have a tiny blood vessel burst in my eye so I’m looking a little funny. My coworker Rachael, who studied the intricacies of eyes and vision in grad school, explained to me that eyes are fragile but they’re also masters of healing. And that made me think that eyes are a good metaphor for life. We get hurt, knocked down, and disappointed, and when that happens we feel fragile and broken. But if we hang in there and just give ourselves some time, love, and tenderness (to quote Michael Bolton!), we find that we can heal from anything. The eyes have it, and so do we.
I haven’t played a group sport in quite a few years but all that’s about to change when I start playing on a co-ed soccer team this week with Zog Sports DC. When I put on my new cleats and shin guards yesterday, I felt really powerful. And not because I think I’m going to become some brilliant spark of a player but because I’m about to do something so outside my comfort zone.
There’s something to be said for purposely going after experiences that scare the hell out of us. Once we try something new, we understand that on the other side of fear is freedom. GOOOOOOAL!
My friend, Sara, posted this yesterday and it really helped me. Some people who will tell you what you can’t do. And once they realize you’re resourceful, they resort to criticism of anything in sight. I had that happen to me a few months back, and to be honest it’s been bugging me ever since. I couldn’t figure out why everything I did, said, had, or thought left him at least mildly dissatisfied. He is the kind of person that has a problem for every solution. And then, Sara shared this quote with me and something clicked.
His unhappiness had nothing to do with me. It never did. I was just in the unfortunate line of fire. It was him. It was always him. And with that realization, I stopped feeling badly for myself and actually felt badly for him. All the hurt I felt just melted, and I sent him a silent wish for happiness. I know my story better than anyone. He was telling me his story, not mine, and I hope that for his sake he finds a way to change what happens next rather than continuing down his current path. I know how a path like his ends, and it’s not pretty.
You can’t rescue someone from his own decision to be unhappy, but you can certainly rescue yourself from someone who just wants to bring you down. And by forging on, unhindered, you set the kindest example for that person—you show them that there’s a better way to live. Showing them what’s possible in your own strength is the greatest act of love there is.
Learning from your past can be difficult and painful but it’s far better to learn from it than repeat it.
Christa Avampato 