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This just in: The truth about criticism



My friend, Sara, posted this yesterday and it really helped me. Some people who will tell you what you can’t do. And once they realize you’re resourceful, they resort to criticism of anything in sight. I had that happen to me a few months back, and to be honest it’s been bugging me ever since. I couldn’t figure out why everything I did, said, had, or thought left him at least mildly dissatisfied. He is the kind of person that has a problem for every solution. And then, Sara shared this quote with me and something clicked.

His unhappiness had nothing to do with me. It never did. I was just in the unfortunate line of fire. It was him. It was always him. And with that realization, I stopped feeling badly for myself and actually felt badly for him. All the hurt I felt just melted, and I sent him a silent wish for happiness. I know my story better than anyone. He was telling me his story, not mine, and I hope that for his sake he finds a way to change what happens next rather than continuing down his current path. I know how a path like his ends, and it’s not pretty.

You can’t rescue someone from his own decision to be unhappy, but you can certainly rescue yourself from someone who just wants to bring you down. And by forging on, unhindered, you set the kindest example for that person—you show them that there’s a better way to live. Showing them what’s possible in your own strength is the greatest act of love there is.


About Christa Avampato

I make a living in business and I make a life as a writer, artist, and yogi. I use my business and storytelling skills to build a better world. My first novel, Emerson Page and Where the Light Enters, will be published in the Fall of 2017 by Thumbkin Prints, a children's and YA imprint of Possibilities Publishing Co. My creative career has stretched across Capitol Hill, Broadway theatre, education, nonprofit fundraising, health and wellness, and Fortune 500 companies in retail, media, and financial services. In every experience, I have used my sense of and respect for elegant design to develop meaningful products, services, program, and events to help people live happier, healthier lives. A recovering multi-tasker, I am a proud alum of UPenn (BA) and the Darden School at UVA (MBA). When not in front of my Mac, I’m on my yoga mat, walking my rescue dog, Phineas, traveling with a purpose, or practicing the high-art of people watching. I am proud to New York City my home, and I've been called the happiest New Yorker by friends and strangers alike. They're right. Follow my adventures on Twitter at and Instagram at


2 thoughts on “This just in: The truth about criticism

  1. So true! Sometimes in similar situations I try to remind myself that the person speaking negations would be saying the same to anyone who was before them . . . so it’s not personal just someone’s unresolved pattern on display. And what greater gifts than to protect oneself by moving on and help the other person through forgiveness and wishes for healing and happiness. Great post!


    Posted by Jan Schaper | September 9, 2015, 8:27 pm
    • That is such a good point, Jan. They would say these exact same thing to anyone, and they say them to themselves constantly so it becomes like a running tape that never ends. It becomes so engrained in them that they see themselves as victims. Onward and upward for all of us!

      Liked by 1 person

      Posted by Christa Avampato | September 9, 2015, 9:21 pm

I'd love to know what you think of this post! Please leave a reply and I'll get back to you in a jiffy! ~ CRA

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“We cannot walk alone. And as we walk, we must make the pledge that we shall always march ahead. We cannot turn back.” ~Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Today I march for people who cannot march for themselves, for people who have been marginalized, silenced, and cast aside as less than. I understand at a deep and relentless level that injustice against any single person is injustice for our society as a whole, and we shouldn’t rest until everyone has not just equality, but equity.

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