Yesterday as I was riding the metro home, these three reminders were directly in front of me: a woman reading the health and science section of The Washington Post, a man seated next to her was reading the book Getting Better, and then the advertisement from Virginia Hospital Center right next to me read “It’s all about getting better”. The synchronicity wasn’t lost on me. Building a better world is a mission we can all be a part of in some way, from our corner of the planet. Every day is a good day, even on a too-crowded metro train, if we can go home assured that what we did that day made the world a better place. No matter where are or what we’re doing, we can always get better.
Tag: time
Wonder: Don’t waste time
After Michelangelo died, a note was discovered in his art studio. It was to his apprentice and it read, “Draw, Antonio, draw, and do not waste time.” In his old and feeble state, his last bits of time were used to encourage a young talent whom he would never live to see as fully formed. He understood the ability and potential of his young apprentice, and he understood that time was his most precious resource. It’s a good reminder for all of us.
Wonder: Be a rebel. Be kind.
“If you really want to be a rebel, practice kindness.” ~Sharon Salzberg
Love in the face of hate. Smile at anger. Stubbornly seek joy, especially during times that seem so dark. Rise when someone tries to keep you down. And be determined to make your time, however much you have, meaningful. That’s what it means to be a rebel.
Wonder: Heaven help us all
As this week kicks off, in light of the violent weeks and months that have preceded it, I find myself turning to music to quiet my mind and lighten my heart. Music is a great unifier, a powerful form of expression, and a vehicle to help us figure out how we feel, what we know, and what we hope to build. This weekend as I read about the shooting in Baton Rouge, the protests sprawling across the country, and that gathering in Cleveland, I thought about Stevie Wonder and his song “Heaven Help Us All”. I revisited its lyrics and meditated on the creation of a better world in which none of them applied.
Heaven help the child who never had a home
Heaven help the girl who walks the street alone
Heaven help the roses if the bombs begin to fall
Heaven help us all
Heaven help the black man if he struggles one more day
Heaven help the white man if he turns his back away
Heaven help the man who kicks the man who has to crawl
Heaven help us all
Heaven help us all, Heaven help us all, help us all
Heaven help us, Lord, hear our call when we fall
Oh, yeah
Heaven help the boy who won’t reach twenty-one
Heaven help the man who gave that boy a gun
Heaven help the people with their backs against the wall
Lord, Heaven help us all, Heaven help us all
Heaven help us all, help us all
Heaven help us, Lord, here we call, help us all
Now I lay me down before I go to sleep
In a troubled world, I pray the Lord to keep
Keep hatred from the mighty and the mighty from the small
Heaven help us all oh yeah
Heaven help us all
Heaven help us all
Heaven help us all
Wonder: Fill your time with work that feels like play
“A master in the art of living draws no sharp distinction between work and play.” ~L.P. Jacks
There are so many reasons that I’m excited for my new job that starts a week from today. There’s the one phrase about the respectful and professional culture in the job description that told me this is the place for me: “This is a very egalitarian operational environment…everyone has a say.” There’s the great opportunity ahead to build products based in AI, AR, and VR technology that will help people live healthier, happier lives. There is the sense of starting from a blank canvas that will rapidly be filled in to develop a prototype product in a quick handful of months. There’s the small, experienced team that will work closely together around a single table for a single goal.
And still, above all of that, what has me most excited about this opportunity is the quote above by L.P. Jacks. The roles and companies I have most loved in my career are those that didn’t feel like work at all because what I was doing was so interesting that is took my curiosity and sense of wonder to a level that felt like play. I didn’t mind the long hours, I barely noticed the time flying by, because the work itself was so satisfying that it gave me energy rather than draining it. And I am so ready to return to that kind of work.
When people ask me what I want my career and my life to be, I have to turn to L.P. Jacks and say, “Thank you for putting my whole purpose into 15 words.”
Wonder: Make your time matter
God willing, I’m not at mid-life yet but the truth is I’ve almost died a handful of times. On a few of those occasions, I barely scraped by. And maybe that’s why I am so driven and impatient. Maybe that’s why I abhor wasting time. Maybe that’s why I am utterly incapable of sitting down longer than 18 minutes a day to meditate. Sometimes, I think this makes me a complete lunatic. And then I read quotes like the one below from Brené Brown, and I realize that yes, I may be crazy, but there’s a method to and a reason for the madness. And it’s all okay. I’m just trying to make my life meaningful and to make my time matter.
”I think midlife is when the universe gently places her hands upon your shoulders, pulls you close, and whispers in your ear: I’m not screwing around. It’s time. All of this pretending and performing – these coping mechanisms that you’ve developed to protect yourself from feeling inadequate and getting hurt – has to go.
Your armor is preventing you from growing into your gifts. I understand that you needed these protections when you were small. I understand that you believed your armor could help you secure all of the things you needed to feel worthy of love and belonging, but you’re still searching and you’re more lost than ever.
Time is growing short. There are unexplored adventures ahead of you. You can’t live the rest of your life worried about what other people think. You were born worthy of love and belonging. Courage and daring are coursing through you. You were made to live and love with your whole heart. It’s time to show up and be seen.”
~Brené Brown
Wonder: Telling stories takes you back in time
I’m working on a piece of writing for my dear friend, Amanda. She’s the best editor I’ve ever worked with, bar none. Whenever she asks me to write something for her, I jump at the chance every time. This particular assignment involved traveling back in time to the dark days of September 2008 when the world, my career, and my life was turned upside down by a frightening, unprecedented economic recession. I was working for a financial institution, an industry I swore I’d never join, and I was, in a word, terrified.
Rather than cower and hide, I rose up. To this day, I’m not sure where I found the strength. I guess the fear of losing my job and my livelihood was adrenalin for me. I took that energy that gets wasted by fear and used it to drive me forward, headfirst, right into the abyss of the unknown. I still shiver thinking about it. And then I smile. Time travel is a wild ride. We are so much stronger than we think we are.
Wonder: Sometimes all you need is a little more time
“Sometimes life doesn’t give you something you want not because you don’t deserve it but because you deserve more.” ~Anonymous
The stroke of luck you need is often disguised as hardship and disappointment. I felt terrible when I had to let go of my pending condo sale on Friday because of some troubling news in the condo documents. I spent my morning meditation on Sunday asking one simple question, “what do I do now?” and the strangest thing happened.
I realized the condo was a compromise. What I really want is a home, a real home. One of the great gifts of this past year is that I lived in a home for the first time since 2007. And I’ve loved having a backyard and a front door that’s mine and mine alone. I know a home is a lot of work. I know it’s a lot more money than I was going to spend on a condo. And I also know that it’s going to take more time and savings to get there. And that’s okay.
So I’ll be a renter for a little while longer. Phin and I will find a new apartment (hopefully in our current neighborhood) after I get back from Cuba, we’ll move, and I’ll keep saving for what I really want.
Wonder: Guard your time
The older I get, the more precious time becomes to me. I have always been painfully aware of the passage of time. I’m constantly evaluating and re-evaluating my efficiency, the value of my activities, and the good I’m doing with the time I have.
While this might sound like an exhausting way to live, it’s actually more exhausting for me to think that I’m not using my time to the fullest. Now, that’s not to say I don’t relax, unwind, and enjoy my life. I do. It’s a priority for me to be at my best, and my best requires rest. And even in the rest, I know my mind and spirit are doing the valuable work of recharging and evolving.
I’m lucky and grateful beyond measure. I wake up with a purpose and I go to bed counting my blessings – the big and the small, the expected and the unexpected, the wanted and yes, the unwanted. And I wouldn’t want to use my time any other way.
Wonder: Where to place your time
The tug of war between what you need to do and what you want to do can be a challenging battle. I know lots of people working a day job to support themselves financially while working on a passion project during their evenings, weekends, and free time. I also know people who have quit a lucrative day job to pursue their passions full-time. I have done both, and both are challenging. Neither scenario is easy. Neither scenario is as dreamy as it appears to be on the surface. Neither is a one and done solution to anything. Each has its own flavor of stress and anxiety, as well as peace and joy. And it shifts day-to-day, sometimes hour to hour.
Here’s what I know to be true: you are in control of your mind, emotions, and time. Your thoughts and energy are yours and yours alone. No one, and I mean absolutely no one, ever owns them except you. And where your mind, energy, and time goes, your life goes.
Some of you will find a day job and side passions work for you. Some will find that pursuing your passions full-time is the best life. And there isn’t a point-of-no-return on either of these. I quit my day job in 2012 and ran my own business for 3 years. They were wonderful and trying years. In 2015, I took a full-time job again, closed my business, and have have continued to work on a variety of creative projects. This has also been a wonderful and trying year. Yes, there was a huge amount of variation between these two experiences, and yes, they were the right choices for me for those times. Once I made those decisions, I never looked back. I don’t regret either of those choices, and I never will. My life is unfolding one page at a time, and like a good book, I’m savoring all of the words.
If you are in the process of wrestling through these weighty decisions about life and career now, a lot of people are probably giving you their two cents, even if you didn’t ask them for their opinions. The only opinion I have for you is to do what you need to do for you. Right now. Always. Your story isn’t the same as someone else’s story. Your goals and talents are yours. Treasure them. Protect them. Go in the direction that feels right to you. There will be bumps in the road. There will be off-ramps, flat tires, and wrong turns. But there will also be some smooth sailing and many fellow travelers along the route who will help and guide you. You will experience all of it no matter what choice you make.
The only yardstick I use is this: if it all ends tomorrow, am I glad and grateful for the way I spent today? Did I wake up with a purpose and do my best to take one step along that purposeful path? That’s all we can do, and that is enough.
Christa Avampato 