Tag: postaday2011

encouragement, yoga

Beginning: The Human Factor of Yoga

Christa Avampato

I’ve been known to have a fiery side of my personality. I’m a deeply passionate, committed person, I don’t take no for answer (or at least I don’t take it well), and I fully believe in the way of the will. Wherever I go, I go with all my heart. No one who has ever met me would describe me as passive. Couple this with a petite frame, and some people walk away from a first meeting with me completely perplexed, or if I’m lucky, intrigued. “How does so much fire live in one small body?” they might ask themselves. “And wait, she practices yoga? How can THAT be?” My answer, as it is so often: my yoga is the reason.

Too often yoga is equated with peace and love and butterflies. It is all of those things, and it’s something more, too. Yoga is about authenticity. Yoga is about feeling everything, even the things that don’t feel so great. As practitioners, and particularly as yoga teachers, we sit with a lot of suffering, anguish, fear, and anxiety. We feel envy, jealousy, anger, disappointment, sadness, loneliness, isolation, fear, and betrayal. All of the ugly emotions of life that we wish there were less of. Yoga doesn’t eradicate those emotions from our lives. If anything, it heightens them. We free them more profoundly than many other people.

And here’s the magic of it all: because we feel those emotions so profoundly, we learn lessons on the deepest of levels and then we can move on. Yoga doesn’t prevent discomfort; it gives us tool to confront discomfort head on and work through it with grace and strength. It helps us to hold our heads high during painful moments and appreciate joy, love, gratitude, and all the beautiful emotions of life all the more. Yoga helps us to carry on.

learning, yoga

Beginning: Practice Makes Better

Christa Avampato

“Practice is the best of all instructors.” ~ Publilius Syrus, Roman author, 1st century B.C.

I recently went to Paula Lynch’s class at Yoga Works. The class was beautifully sequenced and I learned so much about alignment in the process. She spent a good deal of time prepping our arms and backs because the class culminated in practicing our form in handstand and headstand, two asanas I very much need to practice and that few classes ever attempt. Some yogis can lift up into these postures with both legs at the same time. I cannot. I need to use one leg to gently kick into the postures, and my right leg is my dominant leg.

Paula asked us to practice with our non-dominant or vacation leg. This was very challenging for me. I could easily get into handstand with my right leg. When I used my left leg I struggled to even been in the posture for a moment. As Paula made her rounds through the class, I flagged her over and asked if she could help me figure out why I had so much trouble using my left leg to kick up.

“Do you practice with your vacation leg?” she asked me.

“Well, no, but I was just…,” I stuttered.

“Then go home and practice with that leg.”

“But I’m thinking maybe it’s my form with that leg…”

“No. You just don’t practice with it.”

“So I should practice with both legs equally?”

Now she was getting annoyed. “No. Practice with your vacation left every day until you get it. It’s kind of like driving a car. When you get in a car for the first time, you aren’t going to be able to drive. You need to practice. Yoga’s no different.“ And she promptly turned around and walked off to the next student.

I left the class a little annoyed with her. She didn’t have to be rude. I was just asking a question. There was a nicer way to say what she was saying, though the lesson was not lost on me. I heard it loud and clear, and it makes perfect sense.

We expect so much from ourselves. In Paula’s curt words, she was telling me to be kinder to myself, to understand that we never learn to do anything without practice. This is particularly important when we are just starting out on the road to a new skill, or in this case a new way of getting into an asana. It takes time, patience, and work. 

change

Beginning: Rethinking Fire

Christa Avampato

Yesterday Brian coached me to think differently about fire. Yes, it burns things away. It can destroy and can spur beginnings, good and bad. As always, Brian took it one step further. “Why don’t we think about your inner fire, Christa, as something that keeps you in check?”

I looked at him with a puzzled and furrowed brow. He continued, “If your gut, where your fire lives, is getting angry, vindictive, or upset, don’t chide it. Don’t tell it that it needs to calm down. Maybe it’s telling you that the situation that seems intolerable should no longer be tolerated.” This doesn’t mean we should set everything on fire on our way out the door. It just means we need to begin to earnestly seek the direction of the door.

Now I see where he was going. Yes, sometimes our temper needs to be softened and smoothed around the edges, pacified in the way that water pacifies fire. Sometimes, we need to use it as a catalyst for change and movement, two very scary actions. If our body tells us we need to flee, its message at least deserves our consideration. When we can’t free ourselves form our own ways of thinking, that proverbial inner fire can carve the way forward. It gives you a way to walk.

learning, risk, television

Beginning: Finding Comfort Outside Your Comfort Zone

Christa Avampato
From http://gosmellthecoffee.com/

“Your current safe boundaries were once unknown frontiers.” – Unknown via MJ, one of this blog’s readers

MJ, a reader of this blog and constant source of inspiration and ideas for me, sent through this quote in a recent comment on my post about negotiating the balance between fear and boredom as we take on new projects. New beginnings can be frightening; many times we must let go of old conceptions of ourselves, our lives, and the world around us so that we can try something new. This release is a death of sorts that allows for new life.

A few years ago I was recounting the story of my NBC job interview to my friend, Brooke. Many of the people I interviewed with were horrified that I didn’t have any TV experience. I was feeling pretty down about the interview until Brooke said to me, “Well have they known about TV since birth? We all start out not knowing anything!” That idea pops into my head every time I start a new project and have any moments of self-doubt.

We all start somewhere. At some point, everything we now know was uncharted territory. Your new beginnings today are no less scary and no more certain that those you experienced yesterday. Just begin. Life is a lottery – you’ve got to be in it to win it so do the things that light you up!

student, teaching, yoga

Beginning: A Letter to My Yoga Students

Christa Avampato

Yesterday I wrote a post about the importance of figuring out whom your business or organization serves and why you’re the ideal person to fulfill that need for your stakeholders. In it, I partially described the type of yoga student whom we focus our efforts on at Compass Yoga. I got a few emails that asked me to elaborate on that topic so I decided to write an open letter to those students. Letters are a favorite form factor of mine in writing. They are powerful, personal, and heart-felt. Some say we’ve lost the art of letter writing in our society. If that’s the case, then I mean to bring it back. (On this blog, I’ve written letters to President Obama and My Younger Self.) 

Dear Students – past, present, and future,
      I’ve been working on gaining the skills to help you by examining my own life and focusing on my own healing. The healthier I am, the more I have to give to you. It took me a long time to learn that lesson, and for that I apologize. I wish I could have been available to help you sooner though healing happens on its own schedule and of its own accord. In this journey I learned that every moment unfolds exactly as it should, and in that revelation I have been able to find and feel real forgiveness, of myself and others.

      You are at the beginning of a brave and courageous journey that will lead you home to you, to your true essence. Congratulations on your quest for authenticity. Stop for a moment and celebrate that enormous step. It takes a lot of gumption to go in search of you; revel in the fact that you are embarking on a project that everyone should undertake and few ever do. You are to be celebrated for having the strength to even try.

      This road is not easily traveled. There are pitfalls and mountainous climbs. Some days will be smooth sailing, and others will be wrought with difficulty. I will be with you through all of it. I can’t tell you what to do or why or for how long; I can promise you that I will show up every day with everything I have. You will always have my focus and my compassion. We will walk this road together, and we will both be better off for it. I promise you that it will all be okay.  

      You may have some type of illness, mental or physical. You may be dealing with the heaviness of life in its many forms. You may need to find your way after a long period of wandering. Your age, physical or mental condition, race, religion, ethnicity, marital status, and socioeconomic circumstances do not define you in my eyes, nor in my heart. Come as you are and make yourself at home next to me. People have told you to try yoga or meditation or some other kind of mindful practice. You’ve decided it’s time to give it a shot and you are wondering where and how and with whom to begin. You have come to the right person, in the right place, at the right time. I am for you because I have been in your shoes and I know how it feels to begin this journey to healing.

       Take a comfortable seat, close your eyes, and breathe. This is where we begin and end, breathing in and breathing out, respectively. Welcome. I’m so glad you’re here, just as you are.

Love,
Christa

books, business, goals

Beginning: Who Do You Serve?

Christa Avampato

“Who cares most if we succeed or fail?” ~ Jason Saul, author of The End of Fundraising: Raise More Money By Selling Your Impact, on how to build a stakeholder map

My friend and Compass Board Member, Lon, suggested that I read Jason Saul’s book as we begin to put together the financial plan for Compass. I’m actually going to work through the book with the Board because our main financial goal is to be a fully self-sustaining organization – exactly what Jason Saul advocates in his book. We want fundraising to be the gravy of our financial plan, not the main course. Jason Saul gives us a way to do that, and his book is a solid resource for anyone starting or running a business, nonprofit or for-profit.

The biggest take-away from the book is something I often heard in business school and the greatest I have learned from yoga – focus is everything. We cannot be all things to all people. If we try to do that, we end up being of very little value to anyone. Does that mean that what we offer is only useful to a handful of select people? Absolutely not. It may well be that everyone who comes into contact with your products and services takes away something positive. The question at hand is one of focus – yours. Where do you put your time and energy, both precious and finite resources? And to answer that question you need to figure out who you serve and why you matter to those customers.

Compass Yoga‘s ideal students are the once who aren’t going to walk into a traditional yoga studio. They’ve never tried yoga or meditation before though they’re curious and want to give it a shot because they want to be happier, healthier, and more at ease in their daily lives. And they have some specific therapeutic reason for seeking out yoga.

Could a long-time practitioner who is happy, healthy, and at ease get something out of a Compass class? Of course. Would I turn these people away from a class? Absolutely not – they will always be welcome. I remain steadfast in my belief that yoga is for every body. I’m just not the right teacher for every body and every student is not right for me. I love people who have the courage to begin from zero; I love to be a guide. My energy is focused on those beginners, and if others get something out of the teaching, then all the better.

The question “Who do you serve?” is fundamentally about finding our place in a crowded field; it’s about defining a way to shine with our gifts in one hand and our passion in the other. It’s about finding our authentic purpose and the people who will benefit most from us fulfilling our destiny. I have tremendous empathy for beginners and for people who are challenged with health issues, be they mental or physical. I was one of them and I will never forget how that felt. I will also never forget how useful yoga and meditation were to me in times of real trouble, and how much comfort they continue to provide on a daily basis. By serving those beginners who are challenged with health issues, I’m paying forward the gifts my teachers (and there were many!) provided to me.

It’s a nice idea to be inclusive and giving to anyone who wants to learn the lessons we have to offer. I recommend it as a way of life; I don’t recommend it when developing a business plan. Figure out exactly who you serve and why you’re the best person to provide that service to those customers. In business, focus is rewarded. Go too broad and you are setting yourself up for irrelevance.

meditation

Beginning: Your Own Enlightenment is Only a Question Away

Christa Avampato
Master Jinje

“Everyone can start a meditation practice by pondering this question every day – what was your original face before your parents gave birth to you?” ~Master Jinje

Last week I went to the historic Riverside Church to hear Seon (Zen) Master Jinje, the 79th Patriarch in the Korean lineage of the Buddha. My friend, John and Justin – the genius duo behind FreshFluff, invited me to the event and given my interest in and dedication to daily meditation, I couldn’t pass it up. To be in the presence of someone like Master Jinje, someone so disciplined and so full of goodness, is an honor. Secluded in Korea, this was his first visit to the U.S. and given the reception he received I’m sure he’ll return. Our society needs his message: meditation is a vital part of a rich and meaningful life and it is available to everyone. It begins by questioning everything. 

Master Jinje took questions from the audience and one member asked how someone who has never mediated before can begin a practice. It’s a common question. The word “meditation” is a loaded term. Many people feel they need to have a religious practice or that they must already have some level of enlightenment in order to meditate.

Master Jinje put that concern to rest. He insisted that meditation is for everyone, and that it should be practiced by everyone. We need to time to sit and tune in to our own inner wisdom, and yes, there is an inner wisdom in every person. You, me, and everyone we come across throughout our daily activities. All you need to do is think about who you are authentically – not in terms of your relationships or your work or where you live. Consider the challenge of considering one simple question – “What was your original face before your parents gave birth to you?” All of a sudden everything you know is shattered. All your preconceived notions of an identity are gone. Now the real work begins. Who are you on a soul level?

For me, this question is scary and exciting, and therefore it warrants some more consideration. There must be something in there for me, and so I sit every day now and think about this question. It becomes an all-consuming question and practice; my troubles fall away as my mind turns this idea over and over again. And that is its magic. All of a sudden I am a part of something much bigger, braver, and wiser just by asking this question and not shrinking away from its answers.

Enlightenment is not so far away; it’s not some mysterious, out-of-reach goal. It’s with us right now. Within you, there exists an enlightened sensibility and it wants its fair share of air time. It doesn’t need a microphone; on the contrary, all it’s asking for is a few moments of quiet time with you and you alone. It has all the answers you seek, and those answers will be revealed one tiny jewel at a time every time you show up to sit and be still and consider who you are at your very essence. Listening will be rewarded. 

dogs, love

Beginning: Happy 2nd Birthday to My Pup, Phineas

Christa Avampato
The birthday boy lounging on a lazy weekend morning

Today is Phineas’s designated 2nd birthday (he was roughly a year when I got him) and our anniversary. As this day approached, it was hard to believe that a year has gone by since I adopted Phineas from the Humane Society and then I reflected on all that’s happened in the past year. Last Fall, I spent a lot of time getting him used to my schedule and his new city neighborhood; he was found abandoned in the woods so city sights and sounds were all new for him. We wrestled through separation anxiety; Click here for that collection of posts and the remedies we came up with thanks to our incredible trainer and friend, Gregg. And I got used to rejiggering my schedule and budget to take care of my new furry pal.

I thought about developing some variation of a top 10 list of the things Phin has taught me this year though that idea seemed overdone and truly there is just one huge lesson that Phineas has taught me that makes all of the countless others pale in comparison – Love Heals.

I’ve often heard it said that time heals all wounds, but I actually think love is a more complete and efficient healer than time. Time is a finite gift; the amount of love we can take in and give away is infinite. The only limit love knows is our desire to give and receive. Phineas can never get enough and can never give enough. He’s a wonderful role model of courage and bravery, for believing that life can always get better no matter how far down in the doldrums we are. Love is what helps us make that journey.

A year ago, he was starving and lonely, abandoned in the woods. Today, he sleeps in a warm, down-filled bed in a (cozy) penthouse apartment on the upper west side of Manhattan, has a bottomless bowl of organic food, and laps up buckets of overflowing love that are showered on him every day. He let go of his past and moved on so that he could appreciate all the love available to him in his new life.

We should all be as appreciative as he is of the gift of another day. And we can be. All we have to do is give love, receive love, and revel in the exchange. Happy birthday, Phin!

story

Beginning: Your Story Can Be Sung

Christa Avampato

“Not only is your story worth telling, but it can be told in words so painstakingly eloquent that it becomes a song.” ~ Gloria Naylor

In recent weeks, I’ve been telling the story of Compass Yoga to new audiences who are just beginning to hear about it – partner organizations, potential business partners, and yoga students and teachers. Eventually each conversation leads to asking what sparked the idea. I tell them my own personal story and my family’s story of grappling with mental and physical illness and the powerful role that yoga and meditation have played in helping me to feel well and whole. I talk about paying the gift forward and the joy of being able to do so. It really has become a song of sorts that stays with people.

I think that’s what happens when your story is filled with a lot of heart – it develops its own independent rhythm. Somehow it crafts its own life in its own right. People can identify with it, connect to it, and fit themselves into it in some way. Seeing stories just as they begin to weave together is a beautiful act to witness. It makes me teary-eyed with anticipation at the amazing story that’s about to be wrought by joining forces. Our story, to fully come alive, needs the story of others, just like food needs seasoning and melody needs harmony. We are stronger together.

career, change, choices, decision-making

Beginning: The Grass is Greener Where You Water It

Christa Avampato

“The grass isn’t greener on the other side. It’s greener where you water it.” ~ my pal, Sharni

Earlier this week I wrote about my decision to turn down a recent job offer in favor of staying at my current company and pursing my own entrepreneurial projects through Compass Yoga and my writing. I have been surprised by how invigorated I feel from the decision. There is something to be said for having a look around at the career landscape, being given the opportunity to move, and then realizing that I have it pretty good exactly where I am. My current company, while it has its flaws, offers me tremendous flexibility and the opportunity to work with a lot of people whom I truly like and respect. The process of considering another offer gave me fresh eyes to see my current situation’s benefits to my life.

Just before receiving this new offer, friends of mine cautioned me about leaving. I initially wrote off the caution as their own hang-up about change. However, their advice planted a seed of balanced decision making. I really did need to weigh what I was giving up at my current company and what I could potentially receive in return at the new company. Ultimately it came down to realizing that I was going to have to give up a lot (flexibility, relationships and a reputation that I have worked hard for, and a solid compensation package), and I wasn’t going to get enough in return (lower title and compensation than I had expected, and a real loss of my personal time). Once that became clear to me, I knew the new offer wasn’t the right fit for me.

I was away on a business trip when I received the new offer and on the flight to my destination I saw the movie Midnight in Paris. The movie follows the lead character who is obsessed with 1920s Paris and The Lost Generation. He has the opportunity to live in that era of history, and in the process realizes that the people of that period longed for the Belle Époque, Paris in the 1890s. While he realizes his life in 2010 needs some changes, he recognizes that we’re always longing for another time. Too often we think the grass is greener elsewhere when in fact we almost always have the opportunity to make the grass we already have greener through our own efforts.

My friend, Sharni, has been blogging about this very point-of-view and her tag line “the grass is greener where you water it” perfectly sums up my recent career decision. My cautious friends were absolutely right – I have a lot more opportunity right at my fingertips than I realized. I bet you do to!