Tag: future

creativity

Wonder: Looking fear in the face and writing anyway

Christa Avampato

Yesterday I started a scary process: writing query letters to agents. My fingers hovered over my keyboard, shaking. What was so hard about presenting my work and asking someone to consider representing me? Good old-fashioned rejection.

And then I reminded myself that every letter, every book, every play that’s ever been written is done in the exact same way – one word at a time. So that’s what I committed to write. One word followed by another followed by another. Letter by letter, I got there and wrote my first one. And so it begins…a little scary, a little trying, and ultimately, hopefully, worthwhile. Emerson deserves to have someone fight for her story.

creativity

Wonder: Real estate is a long game

Christa Avampato

Buying real estate is a long game. One thing I’m learning in this house hunting process is that buying real estate, especially in a city like D.C. that is changing so rapidly, requires you to be forward-looking. And I mean way forward. The neighborhood and the home may not be perfect now; they may not even be close to perfect. I have to make some trade-offs and no matter what my budget is, it will cost more than I want it to cost.

What’s helping me is to imagine myself growing into a space as my life changes over the next few years, as I’m sure it will because doesn’t it always? The process also takes a lot of patience and faith, two things that are in short supply in an active real estate market. Whenever I feel overwhelmed by it all, I take a deep breath and remind myself that when this is all over I’ll be moving into a new place that will truly be my own.

creativity

Wonder: Why I decided to become a charter member of the National Museum of African American History and Culture

Christa Avampato

“Why would you do that? You’re not black.” This is what someone said to me when I told them I made a donation to the National Museum of African American History and Culture. Thanks to Lonnie Bunch, the founding director of the museum, I had an answer. I made a donation because the history that it commemorates and celebrates is America’s story.In history, we are all united, and that’s how I’d like us to be in the world, too. If you make a donation of any size today, Hyundai will match your donation dollar for dollar up to $500,000 as part of the museum’s campaign called Giving Day.

The museum’s stories can teach something to everyone who takes the time to listen to them. Some of the lessons are horrible and painful, and some of them are joyful and inspiring. That’s life—it’s beautiful and terrible in equal amounts. I am humbled by what the staff members of the museum, and so many others who came before them, have done to assemble this treasure of a museum in the city that I now proudly call home. I can’t wait to see it and I’m so glad to be able to support its message of hope. It’s a message we all need. #GiveNMAAHC

creativity

Wonder: When we fall, we have the chance to rise (eventually)

Christa Avampato

It’s okay to fall apart; it’s the only way we can make ourselves whole again. This weekend I was talking to a close friend who’s been having a tough time. I can absolutely relate. There’s a desire to be positive, to see the silver lining, and be grateful for what our misfortunes give us. There’s also an equally strong desire to yell, break things, and act on the frustration. At times, we can feel completely insane and off-balance when we’re in this cycle. It’s okay to feel that way; I certainly have. We have a right to feel all of our feelings, and no one (and I mean no one!) has a right to tell you not to feel the way you do.

There are several points in my life when I’ve felt this way. It’s downright painful and frightening. You feel like you’re losing it. I’ve been in that position, and I’ve also been in that position when I felt completely and totally alone. So here’s a promise I make to every friend I have—with me, you can lose it. Cry, yell, get out whatever thoughts and feelings you need to release. I’m not going to judge you. Not at all. We’ve got to do more for each other to create that safe space. The world will be better off if we can stop putting on a brave face and keeping up appearances. Sometimes, things are just awful and it’s healthy to recognize that. Yes, you’ve eventually got to move on and that can only happen if you can first feel every awful thing you need to feel. We rise, eventually, by first allowing ourselves to fall.

creativity

Wonder: 7 years ago today my world was changed by fire

Christa Avampato

7 years ago today my apartment building caught fire and I had to start over in every sense. I feel so many emotions on this anniversary though the one now that is more prominent than others is grateful.

In the middle of that soot-covered apartment that day I had no idea what to do, where to go, or how to feel. Mostly, I was scared and filled with what-if scenarios. Had I hesitated even a minute longer, it’s unlikely that I would have made it out of the building.

I thought that day was the worst day of my life because it sent me down into a very dark and terrifying spiral—mentally, physically, and emotionally. Now with the benefit of time, I see that day as one of my best.

That day set the course I’m still following, causing me to let go of the things that don’t help me live my best life and to take chances every day. That fire caused me to lose a lot of things I loved, and it also helped to create space for me to build something brand new.

That process of rebuilding has been beautiful and terrible, and I consider all of it a great gift because it helped me to know and appreciate just how strong and resilient I am. And those are things worth knowing.

creativity

Wonder: Smithsonian Magazine goes deep into race in America

Christa Avampato

20160902_085331If you want to get deep into the discussion around race in America and approach it from a number of different perspectives, I can’t recommend the latest issue of Smithsonian Magazine enough. I’m completely engrossed in every story. It’s an incredible example of journalism that combines a long lens historical perspective, evocative personal stories of struggle and triumph (in equal amounts), and a future vision of hope that we can fully accept and explore our past and not be solely defined by it. Just amazing.

creativity

Wonder: A little girl of light on a DC metro bus taught me a valuable lesson

Christa Avampato

Yesterday as I was taking the bus to drop off Phineas at daycare, a little girl and her mother sat next to us. There was something about this little girl. She was so full of light. When she smiled her whole body smiled.

“Excuse me,” she said. “Your dog is so cute!”

She giggled with her mom, spotted her teacher on the bus, and gave her infant sister a kiss. This little girl was magnetic. There was clearly a lot of love between her and her mom.

On my way home from work, I saw this same little girl. She recognized me and Phineas. She still sparkled but a little less so now. She had 3 of her cousins and her aunt with her. One of the cousins was trying to tell her mother that one of her teachers said she had a real gift for painting. The mother barely paid attention to her.

All of the kids were very interested in Phineas and had lots of questions about him, which I was happy to answer. Their aunt was not thrilled about them talking to me. She yelled at them several times, and made more eye contact with the game on her phone than with any of the kids she was supposed to be watching.

As it turned out, we all got out at the same stop. They live just across the street from me in  a housing project. There was something about that made me so sad, and then it made me angry. Here was this amazing little girl, so clearly bright and in love with life, and she deserves to have that light honored and supported.

While I understand that children are resilient, I also know that what is said to them, or not said to them, makes a world of difference as they grow up and become adults. Listen to children. Honor them. Respect them. Understand that every action and every word we express now has such an outsized impact on them. They need us and we need them if we’re going to build a better world. And a better world is what we all deserve.

creativity

Wonder: Lee Stroy made 3 strokes a gift

Christa Avampato

Last month, I had the great privilege to meet Lee Stroy, a father of five who is my age and a walking medical miracle. In one week, Lee had three strokes and has now made it his mission to tell his story in an effort to educate others about stroke through his nonprofit Counterstroke. His story is one of the most inspiring I have ever been given the great gift to share with others. Read the piece I wrote about Lee for The Washington Post by clicking here and learn more about Lee on his website for Counterstroke.

creativity

Wonder: Dealing with adult bullies

Christa Avampato

Bullies in the classroom and on the playground grow up to be bullies at work, in politics, and in their communities. And dealing with these unfortunate people, no matter what the environment, requires the same approach: you must stand up to them, strengthen your voice and resolve, and not back down. It is as painful to do as an adult as it is as a child, and we must do it. Once you stand up to them, their insecurity will cause them to lie about you and do and say anything possible to disparage you. Promise yourself to be such an amazing person that no one would believe them. Stand your ground and be your best you—that’s the only way forward. If you’re dealing with this now, let me tell you a story.

When I started working at a financial services company in 2008, my Director and VP were pretty awful people. 14 months after my start date, I found another job at the same company in a completely different division with great people. The work was interesting and the role was a coveted one. My Director and VP were furious that I had gotten another job without their help and after they had done everything possible to prevent me from moving on to a new role. They were bullies and because I worked hard, spoke my mind, and did well despite their poor leadership, they continued to speak badly about me even after I left my role on their team. I moved on and never looked back.

Within a handful of months, they were both managed out of the company (a nice of way of saying they were fired). Shortly after that, my old VP reached out to me on LinkedIn. He had started a consulting practice and wanted to know if I could introduce him to my new VP in the hopes of getting a contract with my new team. He wanted to work for me after treating me so badly! It was shocking.

I ignored the message and never responded. To a bully, silence is deafening. Dismissing them without a second thought is intolerable. And in my eyes, that is exactly how he deserved to feel after his bullying—intolerable. It was a satisfying moment to hit delete. I fired him from my career and my life. I never heard from him again.

I recently faced a very similar situation and I’ve decided to deal with it exactly the same way. I’ve moved on and focused my attention on my new role with a great boss, talented team, and fascinating work. I’m not looking back nor listening to the noise and toxicity that I left behind. My future is ahead of me, not behind me.

 

creativity

Wonder: Why travel is such an important part of life

Christa Avampato

“The world is full of wonderful things you haven’t seen yet. Don’t ever give up on the chance of seeing them.” ~J.K. Rowling

As we wind down summer and head into fall, I’ve got travel planning on my mind. Every year I take an international trip, and I’ve started thinking about what I might do next year. (I’m open to any and all suggestions so send them to me!) I find that travel always opens my mind and helps me to imagine new possibilities. I love to see how people live in different places. I love to hear about their triumphs and trials and what their greatest hopes are for their future. Travel always makes me grateful for my home and reminds me that we are all so much more alike than we are different. It’s the gift that keeps on giving.