creativity

Beetles and birds show us how to thrive after destruction

Black-backed woodpecker. National Park Gallery. Public domain photograph by National Park Service.

For most animals, including humans, wildfires represent a dire threat. The smoke-filled skies and relentless heat leave little room for survival. But against all odds, in the natural world, fires don’t always signal death. For a select few creatures, they actually signal an opportunity—a gateway to survival and even proliferation. These creatures, adapted to the flames, have evolved extraordinary traits to navigate and thrive in fire-scorched environments. From fire-seeking beetles to flame-spreading birds, their stories reveal the unexpected resilience and ingenuity of life in the face of destruction.

1. Pyrophilous Beetles

Pyrophilous (or “fire-loving”) beetles are nature’s fire chasers. Beetles like those of the Melanophila genus (commonly known as fire beetles) can locate forest fires from astonishing distances—up to 80 miles away. Their infrared sensors detect heat, while finely tuned smoke receptors in their antennae guide them toward the source of the flames.

But why seek out fire?

For these beetles, a scorched forest is the perfect nursery. The intense heat weakens a tree’s defenses, making it easier for the beetles to lay their eggs under the bark. The larvae, free from the competition of other insects and predators, feast on the decaying wood. This burned environment provides a sanctuary for growth and ensures the continuation of their lifecycle.

Interestingly, Melanophila beetles are not alone in their fire-seeking pursuits. Other insects, like the Australian fire beetle (Merimna atara) also make the most of fire-damaged forests. They are drawn to the scent of burning eucalyptus trees, where they lay their eggs in the tree’s charred remains. However, these beetles don’t just swoop in to capitalize on scorched earth; they also play a pivotal ecological role. By breaking down charred wood, these insects accelerate the recycling of nutrients back into the ecosystem, enriching the soil and paving the way for new plant growth.

2. Woodpeckers

For certain woodpeckers, fire-scorched forests are not just habitats but lifelines. Species such as the black-backed, red-cockaded, and white-headed woodpeckers depend on post-fire landscapes to survive. When wildfires clear the dense understory of forests, they leave behind standing dead trees, or snags, which are prime real estate for these birds.

The black-backed woodpecker (Picoides arcticus) is particularly adept at thriving in these conditions. Its diet consists largely of the larvae of wood-boring beetles, which proliferate in recently burned forests. By foraging in these areas, the woodpeckers control insect populations and contribute to the balance of the ecosystem.

The red-cockaded woodpecker (Leuconotopicus borealis), a threatened species, and the white-headed woodpecker (Picoides albolarvatus) offer two other compelling examples. These birds rely on mature pine forests that experience periodic low-intensity fires. Fire prevents the growth of competing vegetation and maintains the open, savanna-like conditions these woodpeckers need to nest and forage for food.

In fact, it was even observed that when natural fires were suppressed, red-cockaded woodpecker populations plummeted. Conservationists have since employed controlled burns to mimic natural fire cycles, helping these birds reclaim their niche in the ecosystem.

Fire lessons for us

Fires radically and permanently transform everything they touch. Once something is touched by fire, it is never the same again. The chemical reactions are irreversible.

Since my apartment building fire that happened in 2009, I’ve thought a lot about this idea of the change and rebirth that follows destruction. I was never the same after my fire. It was a long road to heal after that terrible incident.

I used to think of my fire as the worst day of my life. Now, I think of it as one of the best. That experience made me a writer. That experience destroyed my fragile mental health and was the impetus to get the therapy I had needed since I was a child. I was forged in that fire in a way that I would need when I later encountered other challenges such as the pandemic, cancer, losing my beloved Phineas, and difficult career changes.

Yes, it made me resilient, but at a terribly steep price. On the other side of it now, with distance and time, I can see the value. However, I can’t say I’m eager to go through something like that again. And yet, when I look around at our world today, I think we may not have a choice. The proverbial fires are being set. Like the animals that have to adapt to their habitat changed my fire, I think we may find ourselves in a similar position in the not-to-distant future. We may be there already.

I don’t know how we’ll adapt to a new world order as these animals have done. I have a lot of questions, and I’m trying to live my way into the answers. What is my role in the midst of the fire? What will remain? How will we pick up the pieces and build something new from them? How will what we build from what remains help those who come after us? How can we use nature as a guide and collaborator in our rebuilding?

creativity

How nature rebuilds after a fire

Photo by Caleb Cook on Unsplash

In 2009, my New York City apartment building caught fire. I lost nearly everything I owned, and I almost got trapped in the building. I’ve written a lot about that incident, the terrifying PTSD that followed, and the therapist and friends who helped lead me out of the darkness I’d shoved down my entire life up to that point so I could fully step into the light for the first time. (You can read some of those pieces here and here.)

Watching the coverage of the LA fires and doing whatever I can to help people there wasn’t triggering for me. However, it did leave me with a profound sadness because I know first-hand how painful it is to lose everything and then face the difficulty of rebuilding my life and my mental health. It’s a long and winding road. Fire physically, chemically, and irreversibly alters everything it touches, us included.

When I’m sad, confused, or lost, I often turn to nature. As a biomimicry scientist, it’s become a habit for me to ask, “What would nature do?” Nature has faced fire for hundreds of megaannums; the first evidence of it appears in the fossil record about 420 million years ago, with charcoaled plant remains. (By comparison, the mass extinction of dinosaurs happened about 66 million years ago.) When destroyed by fire, how does nature rebuild? Time, variety, and assistance.

Rebuilding requires time
The dramatic before and after photos of a fire may lead us to believe that the rebuilding begins as soon as the fire is snuffed out. However, without plants to anchor the soil, storms that follow wildfires can cause even more damage through massive flooding and erosion. The post-fire damage can continue for years.

After my fire, my PTSD caused years of difficulty, long after I had a new home and had replaced my belongings. This was also true when I finished active cancer treatment many years later. The effects of life-altering events cannot be immediately known. Healing isn’t linear and it often takes longer than we’d like. The impacts unfold at a pace that we don’t control. Give yourself the space and grace to take it all in, process it, and move forward on whatever timeline you need.

Rebuilding requires variety
After a fire, nature re-establishes itself by re-anchoring the soil. Native plants that have that ability are the first to take root. That includes hardy varieties of grasses, trees, and shrubs that can survive through harsh conditions. Their ability to stabilize the landscape paves the way for an even greater variety of plants to return with time.

When we’re rebuilding, we can feel overwhelmed. We want everything to immediately go back to the way it was, and the fact that we know it can’t be that way can leave us feeling paralyzed. Focusing on one step at a time and prioritizing immediate steps that make other steps possible, can help.

When I moved into my new apartment after my fire, I had 2 plastic CVS bags of belongings and an air mattress I borrowed from a friend. The emptiness of that space gave me so much anxiety. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and asked myself, “What do I need right now?” I needed a toothbrush, a towel, and some soap. So, I went and got those three small things. That was the groundwork I needed on that first day, in that first moment. The rest could wait.

Rebuilding requires assistance
While these native plants begin to grow, invasive species will often try to muscle their way into the space. Rewilders and forestry experts will often give nature a hand by removing invasive species, allowing native plants the time, space, and resources they need to grow and develop.

My PTSD was an invasive species. Anxiety, nightmares, and suicidal thoughts tried to set up shop in my mind and body. Sometimes they succeeded. One time I woke up sitting on the sidewalk crying. I had no idea how I got there, nor how long I’d been there. My PTSD was causing me to have blackouts.

I was afraid to be home, and I was afraid to not be home. Every siren was cause for internal alarm, and New York City has a lot of sirens.

Friends and my therapist offered to help, and though I tried to brush them off, some were persistent. They were my rewilders. They showed up against my objections and began to help me pull the weeds of PTSD from my mind and body. It wasn’t a pleasant experience for any of us, but it was necessary. Without them, I wouldn’t be here. The PTSD would have taken over, preventing my recovery.

When you go through something traumatic, ask for and accept help. When you see someone going through trauma, don’t wait to be asked to help. Show up and lend a hand. None of us get through recovery alone.

Encouragement for Angelenos
Los Angeles, we’re with you. You’re not alone in any of this. This whole nation cares what happens to you, and we’ll continue to care and help you get back on your feet. The ground is already being seeded with love, donations, and generosity. The road to recovery will be long and difficult, and we’ll be there to build it with you. Nature has given us the blueprint.

creativity

My alive day — 13 years ago today

13 years ago today my New York City apartment building caught fire and I was almost trapped in the building. I used to think of this day as the worst day of my life. Now after all this time, I’ve made it into something that made me better. I became a writer and found Emerson. I learned the true value of my life. The PTSD I had got me into therapy so I could heal from trauma I’d had since childhood. It got me out of a terrible relationship and out of a job I hated. I adopted Phineas as an emotional support dog a year later.

A lot of people helped me in that immediate aftermath. They gave me a place to stay while I looked for a new apartment, helped me find my new apartment, gave me support at work, gave me the legal language to confront my landlord to get my deposit back and get out of my lease, let me borrow an air mattress, went to look at apartments with me, recommended a therapist, and 9 months before the fire had recommended rental insurance that saved me financially. So many checked on me regularly to see how I was doing. One recently checked on me after a large fire erupted in New York City earlier this year as he knows fires can still be a trigger for me. Healing takes a village, and I’m so grateful for mine.

Fire transforms everything it touches and it certainly transformed me. This healing was hard-won. I went through a lot of dark days to get here, almost ending it all at one low point. Though I’d never wish this experience on anyone, I wouldn’t wish it away for me. I have a few other big anniversaries of healing coming up. I’m not as at peace with those yet as I am with my fire. I hope time and distance will ease them, too.

creativity

Joy today: 10th Anniversary of My Alive Day—How a Nightmare of a Fire Led to a Dream as a Writer

Ten years ago today, my apartment building caught fire and nearly killed me when I was almost trapped inside. I lost almost all of my belongings that I owned because my neighbor in the New York City apartment building I had moved into 3 weeks before set her gas stove on fire and then ran out of the building without turning off the gas. I used to think of September 5, 2009 as the worst day of my life. Now I think of it as my best. I wouldn’t wish my path on anyone, and I also wouldn’t change it, not one bit of it, because I love my life now and each of these difficult steps brought me here.

The first few years
Over the several years after the fire, I was dealt a hefty dose of PTSD that still persists in fits and starts today. I had intense anxiety attacks that would take over my mind and body without warning. I often felt like I was watching myself fall into madness. Being conscious of your descent and having no ability to stop it is a terrifying existence. I would be lying to you if I didn’t fully admit that there were nights I would lie awake in bed and wonder if life was really worth it. Many days, my answer to that question was “no, it’s not worth it.”

A nightmare that led to a dream
One night, I had a nightmare that I had climbed out to the balcony of my apartment and jumped to my death. I woke up just before I hit the pavement on Broadway down below. Obviously, I woke with a start. The moon was so big and so bright just outside my window that it was almost blinding. I went out to my balcony, and in my foggy state of mind, I could swear that moon spoke to me. I was in a job I didn’t like, in a romantic relationship with a narcissist, and I spent most of my time profoundly unhappy. Out on that balcony, I realized that I wanted to be a writer, that I had always wanted to be a writer, and if I had died in that fire, I never would be. I’d die with stories still in me. That’s when Emerson Page, the protagonist in my novel that would be published almost exactly 8 years later, began to take shape in my imagination. I would later learn that the name Emerson means “brave”, and that’s what she’s taught me—to be brave. Deep in my gut, I know that the moon and Emerson saved my life that night, and that they have saved me many nights since.

Therapy
Several months after the fire, I wasn’t doing well. One day I found myself sitting on a New York City sidewalk crying. I didn’t remember where I was going or how I got there. It’s as if I had fallen asleep and woken up in a place I didn’t recognize. A man put his hand on my shoulder and asked if I was okay. My honest answer was, “I don’t know.” Shortly after that, a friend convinced me to go to therapy and recommended a therapist to me. Our first meeting was basically me throwing out a lot of words and a lot of emotions, Brian listening, and then him telling me two things that changed my life: “I’m not afraid of you” and “I think I can help you if you want to be helped.” And that was it. I entered weekly therapy for 3 years, and to this day I still go to see him here and there when I am struggling. It is not an exaggeration when I say Brian pulled me out of my deepest darkness many times and that he is one of the tiny handful of reasons that I survived those early years and went on to build a life I love today. Without him, my life now would not be possible. He is a miracle worker. I owe him everything.

Making peace with my past
As it turned out, the fire was one trauma that burned away the wrapper I tightly bound around many other traumas I had endured over the years. Once the fire happened and my PTSD was in full effect, I could no longer hide nor contain those earlier traumas. I had to deal with them. Those traumas were festering and wreaking havoc in my life in all kinds of ways that I hadn’t even known or acknowledged. It was painful to do the work to heal myself, and it was necessary.

A dog
About a year after the fire, I got my first dog on my own as an adult. I had grown up with dogs and loved them so much, but had convinced myself that I needed to be in a relationship before I could get a dog because raising a dog and taking care of one in New York City on my own was something I just couldn’t do.

My fire gave me a lot of occasions to say, “Well, if I’m not going to do this now, then when?” And so, I decided to foster a dog. The fostering lasted about 5 seconds. I saw my dachshund, Phineas, a rescue who desperately needed a loving, supportive home, and I knew he was the dog for me and I was the human for him. We have had our ups and downs – plenty of mental and physical health issues for us both – but he is by far one of the best beings I’ve ever had in my life. We rescued each other. We still do.

Grateful for the lemons
My fire stripped me bare of any and all pretenses, excuses, and denials. Though at first it made me afraid of everything, it eventually made me fearless. It made me strong and confident. I had run from a burning building, lost almost everything, and rebuilt my life—mentally, physically, and emotionally—from scratch. What did I have to be afraid of? What could I not do? That fire taught me that my only constraint was me. I wasn’t making lemonade out of lemons. I was and am grateful for the lemons, just as they are.

Life today
My life is not perfect now, far from it. There is still so much I want to do. There are so many places I want to go and see. There are still so many experiences I have yet to have, that I want to have. For today, I’m putting those aside. Today, I’m just happy to be here at all, still broken in some places and with all the pieces I need to be whole. Thanks for listening. Thanks for being here with me. It means more to me than I have words to say.

creativity

Joy Today: Your fire is a kiln

Remember that a fire can also be a kiln. Whether it consumes you or improves you is all about your perspective. I’ve had a very difficult 24 hours. This point-of-view and great friends got me through. If you’re going through a tough time, I hope this idea helps you, too. Sending you love.

creativity

Wonder: 7 years ago today my world was changed by fire

7 years ago today my apartment building caught fire and I had to start over in every sense. I feel so many emotions on this anniversary though the one now that is more prominent than others is grateful.

In the middle of that soot-covered apartment that day I had no idea what to do, where to go, or how to feel. Mostly, I was scared and filled with what-if scenarios. Had I hesitated even a minute longer, it’s unlikely that I would have made it out of the building.

I thought that day was the worst day of my life because it sent me down into a very dark and terrifying spiral—mentally, physically, and emotionally. Now with the benefit of time, I see that day as one of my best.

That day set the course I’m still following, causing me to let go of the things that don’t help me live my best life and to take chances every day. That fire caused me to lose a lot of things I loved, and it also helped to create space for me to build something brand new.

That process of rebuilding has been beautiful and terrible, and I consider all of it a great gift because it helped me to know and appreciate just how strong and resilient I am. And those are things worth knowing.