Tag: choices

creativity

Wonder: A tool to make tough decisions

Christa Avampato

When I’m making a tough decision, the thoughts in my head ping-pong back and forth to the point that there’s a tornado in my mind. I find that I’m better able to clearly see the picture if I can write down my thoughts and then sort them. For example, I know I want to buy a home and that’s a complicated decision. Condo or house? What are the positives and negatives of each? Which neighborhoods? How much money do I want to spend? What size place do I want or need? There is so much information that feeds into these questions and if I can see a map of it, it’s easier to make the decision that’s right for me.

If you have a decision like this with lots of options and moving parts, maybe writing it all out will work for you, too. It’s worth a try.

 

creativity

Wonder: Maybe it’s about attracting what we want and making it happen

Christa Avampato

I’m sitting in meditation a little longer these days, getting more sleep, and consciously making more time to relax and be. I force myself to do it. I wish relaxing came more naturally to me. I wish I didn’t judge my days by how many items I crossed off my to-do list. That’s how I’m built and it’s served me well. But here’s what also serves me well – focus. And that’s what meditation, rest, and relaxation instills in us. There are two ways to manifest the life we want—make it happen and draw the goodness toward us. I recommend a healthy dose of both.

creativity

Wonder: Grow your own creativity

Christa Avampato

“I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself.” ~Oriah Mountain Dreamer

This week I faced a tricky situation. It became clear to me this week that I don’t have time to nurture my own creative projects and collaborations and continue this project I’ve been working on for someone else. I had to choose, and I chose to follow what interests me most rather than what pays.

To be clear, there is nothing wrong with this other project. The people are kind, the work is interesting, and I was appreciated for my talents and skills (perhaps a little too much!) It just didn’t interest me as much as I had hoped it would at the outset, and at this point in my life, which may very well be roughly the midpoint of my life, I am turning my attention toward the projects that give me the greatest joy—my writing, my visual artwork, and my storytelling in many different forms. Yes, the extra contract money was nice to have, but I earned it at the expense of the creative work that really makes my heart sing. And so, I’ll have to adjust other plans in my life to accommodate the shift in income, at least temporarily.

The decision sounds so much easier than it actually is. I knew the person I was working for would be disappointed, and it’s hard for me to live with the idea of disappointing someone else to be true to myself. I’ll also have to adjust some of my personal financials. The quote from Oriah Mountain Dreamer helped, and know in my gut that it’s the right decision. I had to pay attention to what makes me happiest, and that rests in my own creative work.

We have so little time really, no matter how long life is, and it’s the one resource we just can’t get back. Once we spend time it’s gone forever. We have to spend it where it matters most to us.

creativity

Wonder: Face this week with a wink and a smile

Christa Avampato

“A strong woman looks a challenge dead in the eye and gives it a wink.” ~Gina Carey

Challenges are all around us—at home and work, in our community, in every relationship, and even within us. It’s easy to get pulled into them and not seeing anything else. This weekend as I was in the midst of packing I read this quote by Gina Carey.

Given my schedule and move, this week will be filled with challenges so I’m going to try an experiment: every time I meet a challenge (or a challenging person), I’m going to smile wide before I say anything. In my mind, I’m going to look my challenges dead in the eye and wink. That’s my choice. Care to join me?

creativity

Wonder: Sometimes all you need is a little more time

Christa Avampato

“Sometimes life doesn’t give you something you want not because you don’t deserve it but because you deserve more.” ~Anonymous

The stroke of luck you need is often disguised as hardship and disappointment. I felt terrible when I had to let go of my pending condo sale on Friday because of some troubling news in the condo documents. I spent my morning meditation on Sunday asking one simple question, “what do I do now?” and the strangest thing happened.

I realized the condo was a compromise. What I really want is a home, a real home. One of the great gifts of this past year is that I lived in a home for the first time since 2007. And I’ve loved having a backyard and a front door that’s mine and mine alone. I know a home is a lot of work. I know it’s a lot more money than I was going to spend on a condo. And I also know that it’s going to take more time and savings to get there. And that’s okay.

So I’ll be a renter for a little while longer. Phin and I will find a new apartment (hopefully in our current neighborhood) after I get back from Cuba, we’ll move, and I’ll keep saving for what I really want.

creativity

Wonder: The two choices we have in every moment

Christa Avampato

“In any given moment we have two options: to step forward into growth or to step back into safety.” ~Abraham Maslow

I’ve been thinking about this quote a lot lately. It seems that the older I get, the more often I have to make this choice. I’m about to enter my fearless 40s so there will be nothing but stepping forward for me. I’m sure this is going to make my life more challenging, and I’m also convinced that it’s going to make it more exciting and more rewarding in every way. No turning back now.

creativity

Wonder: Bitter or better

Christa Avampato

Next week I turn 40, and this is my greatest lesson in life so far: if something doesn’t go my way, I’ve got two choices – I can choose to let it make me bitter or make me better. In my life, most things haven’t gone my way. They went the way they had to go to turn me into the person I am. And no, that’s not necessarily fair. Sometimes it’s downright unfair, but those are the times I learn the most – about myself, about others, and about the world. And yes, that learning can be painful and disappointing, but I’m grateful, in hindsight, for every ounce of it.

On the cusp of 40, I’ve made a decision – from here on out, I’m only getting better. I don’t have time for bitter.

creativity

Wonder: Choose the battles that matter

Christa Avampato

Choices“If I gave in to silly then, I’d be giving into silly forever.” ~Norman Lear on an early stand he took with the network to defend the language in All in the Family on its very first episode

You’ve got to pick your battles, and they aren’t always the big ones. You’ve got to pick the battles that matter in meaning. Meaning correlates with significance. Every time I face a battle I have to step back and look at how it plays in the larger landscape.

I ask a lot of questions to determine significance. If I do or don’t fight, am I setting a precedent? What is actually at stake, even if it’s not immediately apparent on the surface? Who am I fighting, and why? If I do or don’t fight, will I have to compromise my personal principles and ethics? Will the outcome have a longterm impact, and if so, what is that impact? Do I care enough to fight? Am I protecting someone else who needs my protection? And let’s be honest – we can only fight so many battles with the limited amount of time we have. So for every battle I do fight, it means I have to give up fighting for something else.

This is not an easy negotiation to make. The decisions are sometimes painful and I often have to be prepared for a variety of outcomes. As I get older, the process goes faster and my choices are always better informed by the choices that have come before. No matter what the outcome of my choices, I do take time to reflect on how they went and I get down the learning from each of them. Experience is always the reward. We are our choices.

creativity

Wonder: Remake your space for your future self

Christa Avampato
200911-omag-cronin-101-320x180
Who will you be?

“The space in which we live should be for the person we are becoming now, not for the person we were in the past.” ~Marie Kondo

So often we define ourselves by where we’ve been and what we’ve accomplished, not where we’re going nor what we’re working on. We let our past determine our future. What if we decided to craft ourselves in the image of our dreams? How much further would we go and how much more would we do if we exchanged our anchors for wings? I’d like to find out. Are you in?

creativity

This just in: It’s time to choose happiness

Christa Avampato
Choose happiness
Choose happiness

“Without play, there would be no Picasso. Without play, there is no experimentation. Experimentation is the quest for answers.” ~Paul Rand

My teacher, mentor, and friend, Ed, posted this photo yesterday and it made me think of this quote from Paul Rand. We don’t play enough. We don’t smile, laugh, or enjoy life to the extent that we should. We deserve to be in the front row of this photo in every way, every day. So choose it or lose it. Experiment. Make art. Sing out loud. Dance like a fool. Try something or create something just because you want to. Love big. Take a chance, hold on, and enjoy the ride no matter where it leads. Happiness and play are choices. Make them.