art, friendship, mistakes, passion

My Year of Hopefulness – Building a World Out of Creativity, Mistakes, and Art

Christa Avampato

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” ~ Howard Thurman

“Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.”
~ Scott Adams (Dilbert)

Both of these quotes were provided by my friend, Amanda Hirsch. Amanda is the author of Creative DC, a blog about living a creative life in DC. She found me online while looking for blogs about New York City. After clicking through to my resume, she found that we have just about all the same interests and graduated from the same university, the same year. (It’s a big school so sadly we didn’t meet way back when.)

It’s these online connections to creative, inspiring people that keeps me writing. They make all this effort worthwhile. There are a plethora of interesting, engaging people out there, spread out all over the map. Writing online gives us a way to find each other.

And this brings me to the reason that Amanda’s first quote really got to me. It would be very easy to just look around and see what the world needs, and then go make that. That’s certainly a viable road to entrepreneurship. Trouble is that method doesn’t necessarily get our internal motors running.

Running a business, heck writing a regular blog, takes an incredible amount of dedication and time. There are nights that I have to stay in and write, and I love that. When I’m writing, I don’t feel like I’m missing out on doing something else. I’m passionate about this art form, and have made a conscious decision to become a better writer. That’s going to take time. Point is, I didn’t look around and say “what the world needs is another person to write about creativity.” I’m interested in creativity and writing. They make me come alive – and me coming alive can go a long toward making the world around me a better place to be.

Finally, this point brings me to Amanda’s second quote. There are a lot of times that a whole lot of nonsense flows from my keyboard. The wording is awkward. I can’t turn a phrase properly. I have a tough time translating my thoughts into words that other people understand. I edit as much as I actually write. The creativity piece involves throwing down everything on the page. Forget about beauty and style and grace. Just get the thought down. Editing is the real art – knowing what to keep and what to toss away so that the necessary can speak.

Our world is built around creativity, mistakes, and art. From the buildings we occupy to the streets we walk to the businesses we frequent. These three things are inextricably intertwined. And while the result isn’t perfect, it’s beautiful and unique and interesting – exactly the way the world should be.

choices, discovery, friendship, hope, writing

My Year of Hopefulness – Disappointment as Fuel for Change

Christa Avampato

“We must accept finite disappointment, but we must never lose infinite hope.” ~ Martin Luther King Jr.

I’m now nearly 7 months through my 1 year commitment to actively search for hope every day and write about it. I’m in the thick of it and the remaining months of 2009 seem to be just around the bend. This is the side effect of working in a retail-focused business: I’m always one step ahead of myself because the industry I work in demands it. Looking for hope is sometimes an easy task and sometimes a game of hunt and peck. Some days I struggle to find something hopeful and positive, and other days it seems that the world is awash with hope, so much so that it’s hard to take it all in and stay still long enough to write about it. It’s these latter days that I try to focus on most.

I’ve become a fan of daily email delivery of my favorite blogs. I get why tools like Google Reader are valuable; I just prefer to use my gmail inbox as my to-do list. (Thank you, David Pogue, for that insight on email in-boxes!) And I like the idea that my favorite writers are sending me little bits of wisdom directly, or at least I feel like they’re sending them to me directly. Daily Good, a blog that posts a daily story about some piece of goodness in the world, is one of my favorites. Their stories always begin with a quote, and it’s responsible for many of the quotes that populate my “food for thought” section in the right side bar of this blog.

This week Daily Good posted up the quote above from Martin Luther King, Jr. He could have easily made the quote “We must accept disappointment, but we must never lose hope.” Still powerful, still emotional, still inspirational. Instead, he chose to talk about finite disappointment and infinite hope, and link the two together. In my 7 months of writing about hope, I have found disappointment. More than I would have liked.

Just this week, I decided I had accepted enough disappointment. I’d reached the finite limit that Dr. King spoke about and then decided that I could no longer wait to do what I really wanted to do. With the help of some friends who help me think clearly, who help to bolster me up when I get a little bit down, I made a plan to turn all of my attention to what I hope to achieve and away from what’s disappointed me. The hope was there all along, even through the disappointment. I just wasn’t seeing it. We can all do a lot more than hope for a change; there will be no grand arrival and entrance of change. It’s always there – we need only reach out and grab a hold of it.

art, career, choices, dreams, friendship, goals

My Year of Hopefulness – Finishing what you’ve started

Christa Avampato

“Nothing is so fatiguing as the eternal hanging on of an uncompleted task.” ~ William James

I have a hard time letting things go. I have to watch movies straight through to the end, no matter how bad they are. I have to finish every book I start. Nothing causes me to lose sleep more than tasks hanging around for me to finish tomorrow; hence my tremendous lack of sleep in a partially packed apartment. Why is it so troublesome to let things lie around undone?

It could be that I’ve read too many stories about people who didn’t quite get to see their dreams realized. It could be that I’ve read that quote from John Lennon “Most people die with the music still in them” once too often. I don’t want to look back and be so far away from something I started that it’s too difficult to pick it up again.

We get to these points in our lives where we must go left or right and it’s very hard to double back once we’ve made a choice. Not impossible, but certainly difficult. I’m there now. A lot of my friends are there now. Maybe this is the dilemma we find in our 30’s. We are making choices now that impact every other choice down the line. We’re deciding who we’re going to become, how we’re going to make use of our talents, how the world around us is going to be different because we passed this way instead of that way.

And while I have a natural instinct of which way to go at this fork in the road, the choice in my heart is a tough one. It’s got some risks baked into it. It’s not the safe route. Some times I think the choice in my heart isn’t even the sane route to take. Then again, when has making the sane, safe choice ever lead me to complete fulfillment?

Today I went to a baby shower for my friend, Alex. One of her college friends made a critical choice to leave behind the business world and pursue her PhD in art history, thanks to Alex’s encouragement. She loved art history early on in college and had given up her dream to work in that field to take the safe business route. Before it was too late, she went back to what she loved.

Every one of her professors told her this choice was ridiculous, that she was truly wasting her life in art history, that she’d never get a job. One of them actually told her that a degree in art history and a quarter wouldn’t even get her a cup of coffee. Now she works in New York and helps corporations and nonprofits build their private art collections. Turns out that a degree in art history has earned her much more than a cup of coffee. It helped her earn a happy life. The rewards of finishing what she started and following her heart.

health, productivity, time, youth

My Year of Hopefulness – Getting the Most Out of Your Days

Christa Avampato

“Don’t be fooled by the calendar. There are only as many days in the year as you make use of. One man gets only a week’s value out of a year while another man gets a full year’s value out of a week.” ~ Charles Richards

I am obsessed with productivity. (On occasion, I have spent an afternoon watching an Ace of Cakes marathon on the Food Network. Guilty as charged – what can I say? I love cake.) 95% of the time, I’m doing something that I hope will help move my life forward. Reading, writing, connecting with others, visiting museums, exercising, meditating, running, cooking, and observing life. I am an expert scheduler and I strive to be a model of efficiency.

So why is progress so important to me? Why can’t I just slow down and go with the flow? Why must I be constantly engaged? Part of it is that I am hopelessly nerdy and have been since birth. ‘Why?’ is my favorite question, and I ask it loud, proud, and often. It’s a reflex. I have an overwhelming desire to be in the know, or at least to try to be in the know. The words “I’m bored” have never crossed my mind, much less come out of my mouth.

The other reason for my constant activity is something more serious. For better or for worse, I am constantly mindful of my age and of the time that’s passing. Some people will say that those who are young don’t appreciate their youth or their health. They think they’ll be beautiful forever. I know it’s all fading. Every day I’m looking for a wrinkle, a grey hair, a loss of ability. My WebMD checking can get a bit out of hand from time to time. I was born thinking like an old person, so much so that I am often surprised to look in the mirror and see someone so young.

My siblings and I lost a lot of our family members at a very young age, and those losses stick with us. They changed us. As teenagers, we became painfully aware that life is finite, at least in the form in which we know it. And while I could easily become consumed by the fear of time passing by, instead I focus on making every moment count.

There’s a saying that goes something like “if you live a good life, you’ll be able to enjoy it twice: once as you’re living it when you’re young, and again when you’re looking back on it when you’re old.” Given my love of efficiency, this sounds like a great deal to me – I’ll get two good lives for the price of one! That’s well-worth the effort.

blog, personality. relationships, Seth Godin, writing

My Year of Hopefulness – Island Life

Christa Avampato

Seth Godin wrote a post this morning about island living as it relates to marketing. With the increasing number of new technologies that keep us ever-connected to one another, we are all closer than ever. There’s truly nowhere to run and nowhere to hide. Customers are only a tweet away.

This principle relates to many areas beyond marketing as well, especially for those of us who live our lives online. What we say, do, think, and feel is well-documented and there is an unintended consequence to that documentation: integrity become paramount. With a well-documented life comes the responsibility to walk the walk and talk the talk. Contradictions are noticed instantly now, and questioned, loudly. Authenticity is demanded. In a sense we are now always on stage.

And I’m happy about this. I’m glad to live on an island. It keeps me honest, and it gives me the assurance that everyone else is being kept honest also. I enjoy the fact that people who want to find me can find me, and I like being able to learn and grow from the many people and companies who are living their lives and brands online, too. It’s a treasure actually, to be let into someone’s life, to be allowed to share in the ups and downs of their lives. And it makes our own ups and downs a bit easier to bear. We’re all in this together.
The picture above is by Curtis Dean and can be found at: http://thecartoonsite.com/cartoons/0002.gif
change, fear, youth

My Year of Hopefulness – Inspiration from our younger selves

Christa Avampato
“Never let the fear of striking out get in your way.” ~ Babe Ruth

I spent a number of years touring around the country with Broadway shows. I worked on the business side, taking care of everything from contracts to financial statement to company travel. Though I learned so much and enjoyed the job, I got tired of always being on the road. I wanted to live in a community and have a life outside of my job. My sister was also having some health issues, and I was really feeling the need to be with her. So I made a little deal with myself: as soon as I had $50,000 in the bank, I could leave, move to Florida with my sister, and figure out the rest from there. That was January 2003.

When I got to Florida, I spent time with my sister, took a few classes, and had the occasional odd job. And just when I needed a really good job, one miraculously showed up and it set me off on an entirely new path that lead to a move to Washington D.C., then to business school, and finally back to New York City. I just followed my heart every step of the way and made sure my bills were paid. Those were my only two requirements.

So now here I am at a crossroads again, though I’m finding myself unable to strike up a little deal the way I did back in 2003. In my heart, I am feeling a very strong need to write full-time, and yet that leap is much more frightening this time around. Now, it could be that my hesitation is caused by increased financial obligations (business school loans) and that the economy is in shambles. It could also be that, well, I’m scared now and I wasn’t then.

Today I had to remind my 33 year old self of my younger self, that brave, bold woman who was willing to take a risk, who was willing to bank on her ability to build her own path in life. How is it that I was so brave then and more timid now? It could have been foolishness or blind ignorance that made me so brave in 2003. It could be that I just wasn’t capable of doing anything except following my heart. It’s this later explanation that I’m banking on resurrecting.

Last Fall, I wrote a post based on an assignment that I did for business school. It’s a letter I wrote to my younger self. Now what I really need is my younger self to write a letter to me. I thought maybe a letter from my younger self would shake me awake, would give me some courage, would remind me of who I am and who I’d like to be. So here goes:

Dear Christa,
How did you get where you are? I remember when all you could think of was writing and performing and creating. And now when I think of how your days pass by, I wonder what happened. Your path from A to B was not linear. There were twists and turns. My guess is that while you are surviving quite well right now, you are not thriving in all the ways you’d like to be thriving. You’re starting to feel a little trapped and lost and frustrated. That’s only natural when the heart has lost its position as your guide.

I want you to know that it’s okay that this happened. It’s okay that you needed to take care of some necessary evils like paying off loans so that you can be free to pursue your larger mission in life. Sometimes we need to take a step back in order to leap forward. Just make sure you know why you’re taking that step back, how it’s going to help you leap forward, and how long it will be before you leap.

You have big dreams – so big that you might wonder if they’re just too big for you to accomplish. You might be losing a little faith and more than a little confidence. I want you to put your fears aside. I want you to remember how fearless you were climbing trees, racing around on your bike, running so fast that you felt like you might run right out of your own body. And remember how good that fearlessness felt. I want you to remember how good it felt to be free. Completely, hopefully free.

I want you to think of your mom and your grammy, woman who always, always knew you could do anything and told you so. I want you to remember that a lot of people put a lot of faith in you and your potential. You owe it to yourself to reach out for those dreams of yours, and you also owe it to everyone else. It is your obligation, not your option, to use your gifts and talents to leave the world a better place than you found it. Don’t think about your dreams as things you may be able to do; remind yourself that these are things you’re meant to do, that you must do. Because doing anything else except fulfilling your dreams is just wasteful. And you hate to be wasteful.

Your feelings will undoubtedly be hurt from time to time. You will face rejection and sadness and lose your way. When that happens, do what you always did when you were little. Take a look at those stars. Stare at them until you realize how many miracles you’re witnessing, until you recognize that accomplishing your dreams is a small feat when compared to the tremendous work that someone somewhere put into architecting that gorgeous Milky Way. Surely, if someone could line up all those beautiful stars to create something so intricate and perfect, then you can accomplish a handful of dreams, no matter how big they are, right? Right.

Keep your chin up, and give the reins of your life back to you heart.

Love,
Bella

business, change, entrepreneurship, social change, social entrepreneurship

NY Business Strategies Examiner – Interview with Teju Ravilochan of The Unreasonable Institute

Christa Avampato

This week I had the opportunity to interview Teju Ravilochan, Connections Strategist and Co-Founder of The Unreasonable Institute. I found out about The Unreasonable Institute through Social Earth’s Twitter feed and was intrigued by the name. Some of the people I admire most consider themselves unreasonable, those who push boundaries, who work toward building a world that is far better than the world as we know it today. They strive and thrive on their creativity and imagination. Teju and the team at The Unreaonable Institute fit this bill perfectly. The Unreasonable Insttiute’s missions is to intensive training, effective collaboration, and expert guidance to provide Unreasonable social ventures the momentum to take flight.

To read the interview with Teju, click here.

family, gifts, letter, moving, relationships, writing

My Year of Hopefulness – The Things We Keep

Christa Avampato

I’m in the midst of packing up my apartment. I’m amazed at the stuff I’ve got hanging around – old yearbooks, varsity letters from high school, cards, photos, letters, journals, magazine articles I meant to read once upon a time though for the life of me can’t remember why I was interested in reading them in the first place. It’s amazing what we accumulate.

I have two large closets in my front hallway that I have dreaded packing into boxes. I knew it would be a long, arduous process and therefore put it off as long as I could. Finally, I couldn’t sleep because I was so worried about packing them up so I just got up out of bed and started the inevitable sorting, tossing, and packing of their contents. Some of the memories they contain are painful, though most of them are happy. And thankfully, the contents are so old that my mind has gleefully erased most of the sadness, loss, frustration, and unhappiness that some of their contents used to trigger, leaving behind only the good memories in their wake.

I got my love for cards and letter writing from my grandmother, Sadie. She sent cards for every occasion from birthdays to Valentine’s Day to Halloween to First Day of School. I found a stack of them in one of the boxes crammed into the top shelf of my closet. I’d know that handwriting anywhere. My grandmother passed away 9 years ago, and still I miss getting those cards in her perfect cursive handwriting.

As I re-read the cards this week, I was overwhelmed with gratitude that I kept them. It’s my own little piece of her that I can always have. I hear her voice through those cards and am reminded of how much she loved me and cherished me. It’s things like these cards that have become my most cherished possessions. They didn’t cost a lot of money and they didn’t take a lot of time to create. Their simplicity and heartfelt emotion are the only gifts I ever really needed.

entrepreneurship, Examiner, fashion, product development, women

NY Business Strategies Examiner – SPANX

Christa Avampato

One of the things I truly love about this column is that it allows me to promote entrepreneurs and products that I love. This past weekend I went to a friend’s wedding. I needed to buy a formal dress and the undergarments to go with it. I almost reached for the dreaded control-top hose, and picked up a package of SPANX instead.

For the full story of how Sara Blakely, founder of SPANX, got started, click here.

art, books, dreams, love, relationships

My Year of Hopefulness – The Velveteen Rabbit

Christa Avampato

My friend, Eric, got married this weekend. He is one of my closest friends from business school, someone who got me through many tough assignments and helped keep me sane. We also had a lot of fun together. I’m so happy that he found someone as wonderful as he is and that they’ve started their lives together.

The one reading that he and his new wife, Daphne, had at their wedding is from The Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams. The quote considers the very pertinent question “What does it mean to be real?”

“What is REAL?” asked the Rabbit one day…

“Real isn’t how you are made,” said the Skin Horse. “It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.”

“Does it hurt?” asked the Rabbit.

“Sometimes. When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.”

“Does it happen all at once or bit by bit?”

“It doesn’t happen all at once. You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in your joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”

It is the perfect allegory for starting a relationship with someone that is based on love, and therefore the perfect reading for a wedding. It’s also the perfect thing to consider for our lives in general. Our lives, from beginning to end, are based on the art of becoming.

As we grow older we develop new interests and relationships and dreams. Some we accomplish, others die away without coming to fruition for one reason or another, and still others have yet to be found. The end process of becoming is to be real. Authentically, imperfectly, beautifully an individual who will never be replicated nor replaced.

The process of becoming takes patience, with ourselves and with others. It can’t be rushed. We can’t skip to the end to see how it turns out. We can’t work backwards and engineer our way into the best possible ending. It can only be created forward. There will be unexpected instances that must be folded into the process, some will be welcome changes, strokes of luck and genius, and others may be painful and sad. They all matter and all contribute to the piece of art, the life, we get in the end.

Becoming real is not easy. It takes work and perseverance, compromise and sacrifice. And it requires that we take the long-view, always. There will be moments of great triumph and great loss. Those losses are the risks we take and the price we pay for actively living and participating in the world around us, the risks and price for becoming real. And those triumphs and happy moments, big and small, are what make it all worthwhile.