adventure, creativity

Step 68: Ways of Making Patterns

Christa Avampato

“Take your needle, my child, and work out your pattern. It will come out a rose by and by. Life is like that.” ~ Oliver Wendell Holmes

My friend, Lon, sent me this quote today after reading my post from yesterday about making patterns instead of plans. It should be noted publicly that Lon is one of the people in my life who cheers me on no matter what and that I reciprocate that support. When I start a new project, when I end a project, when I’m just going about my life, Lon sends me positive messages that keep me going. This quote today was one of many that Lon has sent me over the time we’ve been friends, and I thought about it all day today.

While it’s easy to tell people “go make a plan”, “go make a pattern”, it helps to have some direction on how to do these things. I’m really great at making plans, though as I said yesterday, my life never follows them. My life unfolds in patterns. While I try to remain as open as possible to the universe presenting me with opportunities, I do seek out certain types of opportunities. Which begs the question, “how do I decide to find certain opportunities or patterns?” What gets me going in the directions I’m going in?

If you’re looking to create positive patterns in your life, I hope the following ideas help to get you started:

1.) As much as I may love a certain path I’m on, I’m never afraid to do an about-face and try something completely new.
2.) I got over the “I don’t think I can do that” dilemma a long time ago. Barring brain surgery, I don’t think there’s much I can’t do if I really put my mind to it.
3.) I’m a pretty relentless person in every sense. If I really want to go somewhere, try something, achieve something, it’s going to be tough to dissuade me. Developing positive patterns takes persistence. Don’t give up.
4.) I believe in the process of continuous improvement. (Somewhere my business school teachers are smiling wide at this statement.) As a child, I was obsessed with perfection until I’d been disappointed so many times that I realized perfection is rarely if ever attainable. And thank goodness! If perfection were consistently possible, think of all the fantastic, imperfect experiences we’d miss out on. My yoga teacher, Lauren, explained to us that our yoga would never be perfect – no one’s is – so we don’t have to worry. Learning is a life-long process so take your time and enjoy it, knowing that no matter how much we learn, there will always be more.
5.) Biographies and autobiographies help. A lot. I read them all the time. And from them I take little bits of learning from the lives of others, and follow the examples that I admire the most.

So go ahead and take up the needle, as Oliver Wendell Holmes counsels us to do. You cannot fail. This is your life, your pattern, to create. Just keep at it. You’ll be surprised what a beautiful masterpiece you can weave. And my deepest thanks to my pal, Lon, for just being marvelously you, because you inspire me to be me.

career, decision-making, design, relationships

Step 67: Making Patterns Instead of Plans

Christa Avampato

I am coming to the end of Mountains Beyond Mountains, a book about the journey of Paul Farmer, the founder of Partners in Health (PIH). PIH has been one of the biggest players in the relief efforts in Haiti because Farmer has been doing critical medical work there for decades under grueling conditions. He has given his life for the people of Haiti, and more broadly for the belief that health care is a global right of all people. He takes the stance that withholding health care from people is a violation of social justice. It’s clear from the book that Paul Farmer’s entire life, professional, personal, and spiritual, follow from this single belief. He makes things happens, and in turn for his tireless efforts, the world has also opened the way for him.

This morning I read a passage on the subway that stopped me in my tracks because it rang so true for me in my own life. “It seemed to me,” wrote author Tracy Kidder, “that he didn’t have a plan for his life so much as he had a pattern.” Many times in my life people have counseled me to get a plan, and so respecting their advice I would dutifully go off and make a plan, only to have it be sent out the window as the world repositioned me in another direction. When people ask me about my plans, personally or professionally, I’ve always felt a bit uncomfortable. I make plans; my life just doesn’t seem to follow them. This idea of creating a pattern and using it throughout our lives as we make choices and evaluate more options resonates very deeply with me. Creating and utilizing patterns seems like a much more fruitful endeavor than making plans.

So here are some of the patterns I create in my life:
1.) I like to be challenged to “think different”
2.) I thrive in environments where I have to be both creative and analytical, when I can have my head in the clouds and my feet on the ground
3.) People and relationships energize me and inspire me; I am not made to be entirely alone in solitude
4.) Having a higher purpose is important to me
5.) Vertical learning curves are fun to scale
6.) I love networking and introducing people to one another – the more I can mix it up, the better
7.) I like to find that hidden gem: a side of someone’s personality that they don’t express all the time, a new place that’s still largely unknown, or a new idea that turns widely held conceptions on their heads
8.) I resist any force that tries to put me in a certain box with a big ol’ label on it; I defy boxes and labels to even try to contain me!

If this idea of patterns resonates with you, too, I’d love to hear how they play out in your life.

change, Spring

Step 66: Spring is on the Way

Christa Avampato

“Expect to have hope rekindled. Expect your prayers to be answered in wondrous ways. The dry seasons in life do not last. The spring rains will come again.” ~ Sarah Ban Breathnach

My friend, Amanda, got me interested in a daily blog called hip tranquil chick. It’s written by Amanda’s yoga teacher from her time in D.C. The quote above appeared today in the newsletter with the following question: “How would you like to emerge this Spring?”

This weekend New York City received the gift of 50 degree weather and buckets of sunshine. It was a little nippy in the shade, though those few afternoon hours that comprise the warmest parts of the day gave us a hint of what’s in store for Spring. I turned my face up to the sun today, and it felt like that was the first time we’d ever met.

I took myself over to Riverside Park. When it’s nice outside, I spend hours there watching the soccer leagues practice, reading a book, and listening to my ipod. I like to watch the world go by in that tiny corner of space. I heard snippets of conversations, watched friends and lovers and families pass by laughing, and secretly I held a tiny bit of jealousy for all the dog owners enjoying life with their canine pals. At that point I reminded myself that this summer I’m going to over to the local ASPCA to rescue a pup of my own.

As I looked out over the Hudson, I thought about that question, “How would I like to emerge this Spring?” And then very quickly the answer that followed was, “I don’t know.” I was reminded of my yoga teacher, Johanna, when she described how she came to yoga 6 years ago. She had been through a rough time, and her career as a dancer had ended due to an injury. She came to yoga for answers, and at first the only answer she found was, “I don’t know.” But in that unknown, she had the opportunity to re-invent herself, to re-invent her career and her place in the world. Within “I don’t know” there is a great freedom that exists. We open ourselves up to the world, to all of the energy around us, taking it in, and giving it the chance to transform our hearts and minds. Who knows what lies around the bend as Spring approaches.

I smiled at this thought of the unknown, of the treasures that lie in wait once our friend, Spring, arrives in full-force. I’m not sure how I will emerge or how my life will change once the buds are on the trees and the daffodils make their way to the surface of the gardens in Riverside Park. I do know that whatever those changes are, I will be ready to receive them, smiling.

nonprofit, social change, volunteer

Step 65: Get Active with Takepart.com

Christa Avampato

“The activist is not the man who says the river is dirty. The activist is the man who cleans up the river.” ~ H. Ross Perot

I never thought I’d say that Ross Perot is a man who inspired me. This quote of his really hit me a few days ago and as I spent most of the day today walking around New York City, I kept coming back to this sentiment. I am blessed to live in this beautiful city, and yet there are so many things about it that can be, should be, improved.

On my long walks I heard people talk about how this should be cleaned up, that should be fixed, and something should be done about the other thing. While the recognition of something that needs fixing is the first step toward getting it repaired, we need to do more. We have to put our time and efforts into acting on what needs fixing.

This week I heard about a nonprofit, Takepart.com. Whether your passion is education, the arts, the environment, or any cause in between, there are plenty of ways to get educated on an issue, connect with others who have the same passion, and then get actively involved in working toward a better world. Afterall, activism at its very core is about getting up and taking part.

1

Step 64: Pay Me Later

Christa Avampato

On the cartoon Popeye, Whimpy is a character who always has a hankering for a hamburger. His most famous line, which he repeats often, is “I’ll gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today.” He loves his burgers, but he never seems to have the money to pay for them when his craving strikes. And he always seems to find some kind soul to give him the burger, with the promise of paying later on.

Today when I went out to get my sandwich at lunch time, I felt a bit like Whimpy. I ordered without realizing that they don’t take American Express. I had only brought my Amex cards along with me and left the rest of my wallet at my desk. I told the man behind the counter that I wouldn’t be able to take the sandwich.

“No worries. You take the sandwich now and just pay me later.”

“Huh?” I said.

“Take the sandwich, enjoy your lunch, and bring me the money later,” he repeated.

“Really?” I asked.

“Really,” he said.

This man had never seen me before – I rarely go to this cafe for a sandwich. Of course I brought him the money as soon as I finished my sandwich. He didn’t seem surprised to see me. I thanked him, and told him that he made my day. He just smiled humbly, and wished me a good weekend. It was nice to be reminded that there’s still such a thing as trust among strangers. And I think the world is better off for it.

1

Step 63: We Are All Product Developers

Christa Avampato

“You are a product. Develop it.” ~ Tom Peters

Since Saturday, my mind has been a giant whirlwind of Sanskrit, anatomy, sacred Hindu texts, new technologies, and economic headlines. With my yoga teacher training underway and closing out my second week at my new job, I feel like my mind is gaining mass at an alarming rate. It sounds like I should be exhausted when in fact I’m skipping around my apartment at nearly 11PM. I feel myself radiating.

This feeling of lightness, of boundless energy, comes from living out in the world what I feel in my heart. When we live what we love our life’s activities builds up our stamina and creativity. They give us more than they take away. We become a product, a temple, of happiness. And I gotta tell ya, it feels pretty darn fantastic.

So, yes, by training and trade, I am a product developer. In life, we are all product developers. The products, our hearts, souls, minds, bodies, want and need to be developed. For me, that meant getting a new job doing work I love and finally getting to that full yoga teaching certification I’ve wanted for a number of years. And once those two things are complete, I’ll find something else. I’ll take a class on collage. I’ll improve my Spanish. I’ll continue my quest to make a difference in public education. I’ll learn to play the piano. Product development is a deeply personal, never-ending process. And that’s the real beauty of it – there is always more to do, more to learn, more impact to make, just around the bend. Keep going.

comedy

Step 62: A Night at The Colbert Report

Christa Avampato

My friend, Rob, and I were in need of a good belly laugh and where better to get a healthy dose of humor served up with a side of news than at The Colbert Report. During the years of the Bush administration I relied on Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart for much of my news coverage. The actual political news was just too depressing to take in on a daily basis. When watching Comedy Central, I wondered if the Stephen Colbert we’ve all come to know and love is an entirely fictional character. And if his character is manufactured, what’s the real Stephen Colbert like?

He does an out-of-character Q&A with the audience for about 10 minutes before the taping begins. Almost any subject is free game in the Q&A. He night just be the single nicest, most genuine, humble guy in television. He plays with his staff and his audience. We could easily see the sense of camaraderie, even family, among everyone on the set. The guy is having a blast, and so is everyone alongside him. The dance of his show is complicated and quick-moving, and even with that pressure, he sees and communicates the comedy in every moment without ever appearing flustered.

“Off camera, I’m just a guy who says sh*t,” he said to us during a commercial break. While that may be true, he’s much more that. He’s a an incredible role model for us: someone who’s doing exactly what he loves with people he cares about that’s actually making a difference in our world. He gives us another viewing lens for our news and the society we’ve created in this country. He has an opinion about everything and rather than beating us over the head with it, he took the other side and made it entertaining. And both in and out of character, he’s one seriously hilarious, intensely intelligent, thoroughly likable guy.

change, decision-making

Step 61: Valiant Struggles

Christa Avampato

“You, too, God willing, will be 65 some day–and when you look back it’s never the easy times that pop up in the viewfinders; it’s the valiant struggles and adversities suffered and occasionally overcome that fill the highlights tape.” ~ Tom Peters

Memory is a funny thing. It’s amazing what will surface at specific times, without us even actively asking it to make an appearance in our minds:
– This morning I woke up thinking of our family dog who we had to put down in September. I thought about how hard that day was and also how grateful it made me we for his love all those years.
– For a few weeks I’ve had dozens of conversations about relationships – the good, the bad, and the ugly. After a string of recent ones that didn’t end so well, I realized that finally I think I’m ready to find one that really works for me and becomes a blessing in my life.
– Occasionally, I will be walking around my neighborhood and still imagine the event that would have unfolded if I hadn’t gotten out of my burning apartment building exactly at the moment when I did.
– September of 2009 will forever be a month that I remember as one long struggle that I survived.

Struggles and their after-effects can play out in two ways: they can be things that send us spiraling down into misery or they can become the hour of our greatest teaching. It’s a choice. Our choice. Yes there’s a grieving period and it may be far longer and more filled with despair than we’d like it be. Eventually we have to decide to stay down or stand up and start over. Pain can be a powerful motivator to transform our lives in ways that we wouldn’t without its prompting. Struggles can be valiant.

dreams, movie

Step 60: Alice in Wonderland

Christa Avampato

“Alice laughed: “There’s no use trying,” she said; “one can’t believe impossible things.”

“I daresay you haven’t had much practice,” said the Queen. “When I was younger, I always did it for half an hour a day. Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.” ~ Alice in Wonderland

“Start by doing what’s necessary; then do what’s possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible.” ~ Saint Francis of Assisi

Tonight my friend, Dan, took me to see a screening of Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland, the journey that Alice takes on her second fall down the rabbit hole. In Tim Burton’s colorful, magical style, he re-creates a Wonderland transformed into a wasteland by the Queens of Hearts. The story unfolds as good battles evil, as a young girls grows into a woman, and as the repressed gain the confidence and courage to fight for freedom. It’s a story as old as time, and yet it’s something more, too. That’s why it’s my favorite book.

My favorite quote from Alice is the one about imagining impossible things. So often we spend our days saying why something can’t / won’t / shouldn’t work. We make excuses and justify inaction. How much of our time do we imagine impossible things, and then take them a step further as Saint Francis counseled us to do. Impossibility is an alluring things to strive for.

In Tim Burton’s re-telling, Alice is fighting the jabberwocky and to strengthen her own resolve, she begins to recite six impossible things. So I’m testing myself a bit tonight, imagining my own list of six impossible things:

1.) To ride the subway on a weekday morning with a car full of people excited for the day ahead
2.) A world where everyone has just enough of everything they need, and they’re content with that
3.) An education system that bases every ounce of learning on creativity
4.) Me doing advanced arm balance poses in yoga class
5.) A world that fully appreciates the wisdom of the aged, children, and animals
6.) A year full of days that feel like that first day of spring after a long, hard winter

dreams, yoga

Step 59: Ingenuity

Christa Avampato

“Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity.” ~ George Smith Patton

This weekend I began my yoga teacher training. After 16 hours over two days, my body is drained and sore, and my mind is full, in a good way. I gave my best at every moment. My mind expanded. Emotions long-buried surfaced in ways that surprised me. This is progress.

Sonic Yoga, where I am doing my training, is a classic Vinyasa studio with a relaxed, fun feel. The answer to every question is “it depends”. We are all treated as individuals, unique in our abilities to give and receive, unique in our needs and wants. And Sonic Yoga honors that individuality.

In our two hour practice this morning, our instructor, Jeffrey, said something during the midpoint of a particularly challenging pose for me. “Dance on the very edge of your practice.” That idea sat with me as I twisted more deeply into Parivrtta Trikonasana (Revolved Triangle Pose). It’s out on the edge, on the very fringe of our existence and our abilities, that we find out what we’re really made of. It’s when we are pushed to our limits, physically, emotionally, and spirituality, that we hear those life-altering truths that are so hard to hear amidst the hubbub of our every day existence.

Jeffrey got the best from all of us, 22 women strong, not by telling us what to do but by telling us the destination. Go to the edge, just a little further than you ever thought possible. That edge will be different for all of us, but the intention is the same. Go out there and live, really live. Whether than means twisting more deeply into a pose, taking on a job that seems a bit beyond our abilities, or chasing a dream that seems just out of reach, it’s amazing what we can achieve if only we focus and extend and keep aiming for the edge. Our own ingenuity never ceases to surprise and delight.

The image above is not my own but it sure makes me laugh. It can be found here.