failure, future, learning, mistakes, risk

Step 320: The Joy of Big Mistakes

Christa Avampato

“Mistakes are not the “spice” of life. Mistakes are life. Mistakes are not to be tolerated. They are to be encouraged. (And, mostly, the bigger the better.)” ~ Tom Peters

How many adventures have been stopped in their tracks by the question, “What if I make a mistake?” How many dreams have died an untimely death? How many brilliant plans were left behind on the drawing board, never even getting a shot at the light of day? We hear so often that mistakes are our best teachers, that we learn more from failures than successes. So why don’t we celebrate mistakes? Why are we bent on telling people to always do what appears on the surface to be safe? Why does risk, any risk to any degree, have a negative connotation?

Here’s my advice on mistakes: start small with the aspiration to go big. I’d love to chuck caution to the wind, quit my job and do nothing but write and teach yoga. Truly, I’d wake up glowing every day, at least for the first week. And then I’d get nervous about money and I’d probably make some choices that compromise the work I really want to do with my yoga and my writing just to make ends meet. I’d likely save less, inhibiting my financial goals, and I wouldn’t be able to pay down my students loans as aggressively as I’d like to.

So my plan is to rent a small studio space once a week. The cash outlay isn’t much and I can rent week to week. I’m stepping up and out, taking some risk (mostly the potential of a very bruised ego if no one shows up to my class, which I can live with), and trying to strike out on my own in an authentic, meaningful way. I’m learning how to fly before jumping off the cliff. But don’t worry – I’m making my way to that cliff, and the moment I get a bit more confidence in my wings nothing will keep me from taking a running start right toward the edge.

Getting comfortable with risk, mistakes, and failure takes some time. Don’t beat yourself up for needing to take things slow. Inch your way to your edge. It’s a step-wise process. Go slowly, but earnestly. Rather than aiming higher for the sake of bigger successes, I’m going to focus on upping the anty and aiming for bigger mistakes. Thanks to Tom Peters for always encouraging us to jump right into the fray – it’s more fun in the fray than out of the fringe.

adventure, choices, decision-making, dreams

Step 319: 2011 Planning

Christa Avampato

“Life’s like a movie, write your own ending. Keep believing, keep pretending.” ~ Jim Henson, American puppeteer

Many companies and organizations are currently reviewing their plans for 2011. They’re asking themselves about low hanging fruit and bit bets, where to place their energy, time, and money. Just as organizations go through this structured planning process, it’s helpful for us to personally review our own plan for 2011. On December 31st, 2011, what do we want to reflect on? What do we want to learn? Where do we want to be and what will we have accomplished? Tell me your ending and let’s figure out how to get there.

Here’s a quick exercise I did recently that really helped me fill in some of the blanks. I’ll keep working on it through December. I hope it helps you, too, as you start to create your dream ending for 2011:

1.) What are your big areas of focus? These can be project-based or topical (personal finance, career, relationships). Mine are all project-based because I work better when my energy is focused by project.

Mine:
a.) Compass Yoga classes
b.) Yoga and personal finance book
c.) This blog (of course) / my writing in general
d.) Innovation Station

2.) What are specific goals under each project or topic that you want to work on? Give each one its own line and feel free to list as many as you’d like. We’ll get to editing later.

Mine:
a.) Compass Yoga classes
– regular weekly yoga class
– give a workshop of some kind
– secure one additional regular teaching gig

b.) Yoga and personal finance book
– get all of the content written and organized
– work with a designer (hopefully my brother-in-law) on an illustration style and cover design
– decide if I want to self-publish or shop it around
– if I want to shop it around, ask for some advice from writer friends on the best way to do that (I know nothing about the traditional
publishing world)
– give a workshop based on the book

c.) This blog (of course) / my writing in general
– choose a blogging topic for the coming year. 2009 was about hope, 2010 has been about living an extraordinary life. What should
2011 be about?
– secure another regular writing gig, similar to my time with Examiner.com
– syndicate the content into a series of smaller e-books by topic
– continue marketing my e-book Hope in Progress

d.) Innovation Station
– compile all of the materials needed for a pilot
– secure a pilot in a public school

3.) Now we have to prioritize! First the big areas you want to focus on, and then the goals underneath each one. If you’re like me, you have a huge list that might just make you a little sleepy just looking at it. I’m not asking you to edit or cross out any of your dreams. Who knows? Maybe you’ll find a way to clone yourself and get it all done, or many some of your to-do’s will take a lot less time and effort than you think they will.

This prioritization will take some time because you have to spend some time thinking about your values. Take the time you need for this portion. This is a year of your life we’re talking about here, so give it the attention it deserves! I’m still in the prioritization phase myself. I’ll get back to you in a later post on how my planning is going.

4.) Once the prioritization phase is done, pour yourself a cocktail of choice and celebrate! You did a good piece of work setting up this plan.

5.) Now, after a celebration, get going. Post your goals on your fridge, on your front door, in your car, at your desk. Anywhere that you will see every day. And remember to celebrate every win, big and small.

Let me know if this process is helpful and what you’re planning for a happy and bright 2011. I’d love to give you a helping hand for an amazing year ahead!

Uncategorized

Step 318: The High Price of Lazy Leadership

Christa Avampato

I’m not sure how or why the term “people leader” became synonymous with “delegator”. I find it disturbing. I’m witnessing a rather ugly and rapid example of this transformation right now. Thankfully I am not directly involved with it. I’ve certainly experienced the end-result first hand, and it’s interesting to be on the outside looking in to how the process of a promotion actually changes someone. Granted, I am witnessing a worst-case scenario. There are people who get promotions and continue to do the exceptional work that got them promoted in the first place. I love those people. I’m not talking about them in this post. I’m talking about the ones who think their new title actually entitles them to something when really a title (degree, experience, famous contact, etc.) doesn’t entitle them to anything.

All of a sudden someone gets a promotion and they can’t be expected to read a presentation, get to meetings on time, or to actually have any capacity for detail. And they’re no longer doing actual work. They’re “supervising” the work of others. With the onset of a promotion, they emerge from their hard-working cocoon and blossom into the role of “idea people”. Gross. Whenever someone tells me he or she is an “idea person”, I immediately re-label them as “someone who can’t get anything done”. Everyone has ideas, and should work to bring those ideas to life. My problem with the self-proclaimed idea people is that they can’t actually execute anything. They need whole teams of talented people to get their ideas into the world. And somewhere along the line, corporations decided that idea people would get promoted and people who actually work would be the drones. What an ugly, backwards paradigm.

The consequences of such a system are equally ugly: 55% of Americans are not satisfied with their jobs and over 50% of Americans say their standard of living is not getting better. And here’s another interesting tidbit – 70 – 80% of job satisfaction has to do with how much an employee respects his or her boss. It has almost nothing to do with the actual work. And yet, what do corporations focus on during performance reviews and promotions? The work, not relationships. It’s all about results and not how those results were achieved, completely going against the grain of effective leadership.

The old adage of “it’s not what you say, but how you say it that counts” is not that far afield from “it’s not what you achieve, but how you achieve it that matters most”. If leaders want that title of leader, then they need to live up to their end of the bargain. They need to stop thinking of themselves as delegators and start thinking of themselves as motivators whose main purpose is to service their teams.

If 80% of job satisfaction has to do with leadership, then leaders should be putting at least that percentage of their working hours into actually supporting the people who work for them. If we can do that, then imagine the jumps we’d see in productivity, creativity, and happiness. And my money’s on the idea that a happy, productive, and creative workforce also leads to bigger profits.

adventure, happiness, luck

Step 317: Waking Up Ecstatic

Christa Avampato

“Joy is not in things; it is in us.” ~ Richard Wagner

I take Phineas outside for his walk early in the morning. Thankfully with the end of Daylight Savings Time, the sun is now up before we are. This week we stepped out of our building to meeting a friendly, gorgeous yellow lab. He that characteristic big head that he just nuzzled right into my side and Phinny just loved him. When Phineas really likes someone he doesn’t just wag his tail; he wags the whole back-end of his body.

The lab’s owner, and I’m embarrassed to say I didn’t ask her name, said “wow, he is just ecstatic!”

“He wakes up that way every morning,” I said.

“Isn’t it inspiring (and exhausting),” she laughed.

I laughed, too. Up to that point, I hadn’t thought of how inspiring it is to be around a constantly ecstatic little being like Phin, but every morning since we met our friend, the lab, it’s the first thing that pops into my head. Phinny wakes up every morning, happy to get another day and he goes for it with everything he’s got in his little 15 pound body. He doesn’t hold back his energy or enthusiasm, he says hello to everyone, and he always approaches even our most routine routes as if they’re brand new experiences. It’s truly awesome, and yes, inspiring. We should all feel so lucky to get another day.

home, luck, politics, war

Step 316: I’m Lucky to Be Home

Christa Avampato

On Wednesday night I went to a debate series run by Intelligence Squared, an organization that brings together experts and thought leaders on a specific topic who debate from two polar opposite angles. The audience votes prior to the debate and then just after. The side who convinces the greatest percentage of people to change their minds wins the debate. the topic on Wednesday night, “Afghanistan is a lost cause.” A very loaded statement.

Afghanistan is a multi-layered, hugely complicated issue that I would argue most experts don’t even fully understand. Our U.S. presence there is hotly debated – it’s not clear if we’re helping or harming the situation, nor if we’re helping or harming our own national security by being in Afghanistan. We’ve spent tens of billions of dollars over many years to make a modicum of improvement. Some argue that improvement is worth it. Others have called it a colossal failure.

I went into the debate confused, and left with a clearer opinions. Yes, I support our troops. No, I don’t think we should be in Afghanistan with any more military than required to get much-needed humanitarian aid to the area. Getting more education, food, electricity, and basic housing to more people would do much more good than more weapons. I’d like to see someone like Gregg Mortensen deciding the US policy in Afghanistan. I hope President Obama calls him.

One statement at the end of the debate really struck a chord in me. Matthew Hoh, who has a wealth of on-the-ground experience in Afghanistan though is a lousy debater, said, “I don’t care who wins this debate. I just want you to go home tonight and think about all of the troops there who aren’t going home tonight, who will never go home again.”

And I did. And I thought about it this morning when I woke up, too. I spent a few minutes snuggled under my covers, counting my blessings that I live in a safe, warm home, that I have friends and family whom I love and who love me, that I’m about to take my adorable dog for a walk, that I live a free life whose limits are only set by the limits I place on myself.

Who’s luckier than me? No one, and I’m grateful for that luck every day.

adventure, career, change, choices, decision-making, risk

Step 315: Risks Are Less Scary Than They First Appear

Christa Avampato

I’m a fan of the daily newsletter from Psychology Today. Every day they send over 4 stories that are loosely connected, and try to make their readers better people. A few weeks ago they sent over a set of article about fear and how the mind interprets different fears. My big take-away: we have a warped view of risk, real and perceived.

I think about risk a lot for several specific reasons:

1.) At the moment I work in financial services – an industry built around the ability to manage risk
2.) I’m working on starting a small business – a challenging proposition even when the economy is at its best
3.) I live in New York City, a city built and run by people who take their dreams, and all the risk that those dreams carry, very seriously

One of Psychology Today’s articles talks about the 10 ways we screw up our perception of a risk. The good news: we’re actually much more capable than we give ourselves credit for. I understand that the economy’s in the hole because we got way too confident, that for years we were living way out of the ballpark of our means. I’m not suggesting we get back to that place of too-risky living.

What I am suggesting is that we’ve gone too far in the other direction. We tell ourselves that we can’t take any risk now. Better to stay in the job, relationship, city where we are. New is scary. New is uncertain. New is overrated. I hate that we’ve painted ourselves into a corner. It’s true that we need to make smart choices, but it’s also true that we need to live, really live. We’re creatures of dreams and aspirations and joy. We won’t thrive if we don’t strive.

I’m not telling you to run out into the world, full tilt, throwing any and every caution to the wind. (Well, actually, I think it’s good to do that once in a while.) What I am asking you to do is keep in mind that we only get one crack at this go-around in the world and that this world needs you to live the best life you can imagine. We need you at your very best. It’s my firm belief that we’re at our best when we’re happiest, and we’re happiest when we’re out there in the world living the way we want.

So take a little tip-toe outside of that box you put yourself in. Try something new and different that does nothing but lift your spirits. If we all take some small steps, together we can leap.

celebration, Christmas, holiday, New York City

Step 314: The Holiday Season

Christa Avampato

Around this time of year, a lot of people complain about retailers pushing along the holiday season. “Christmas candy is already out and it’s not even Thanksgiving yet!” they say. I’m okay with that – retailers, put the idea of Christmas in our heads for as long as possible. I’d do just about anything to lengthen the holiday season – the joy, the decorations, the music, the cookies. New York City becomes a truly magical place during the holidays. I’ll take as much of it as I can get.

This past weekend I walked by Bryant Park and saw that the ice rink and holiday market was already busy. And you haven’t even packed away your Halloween costume, you say? Who cares?! It’s the holidays. Bring it on! Get the most out of this holiday season in New York City – see the Nutcracker, check out the holiday windows at Bergdorf’s, listen to some carols, pay a visit to Santa, and go see one of the great big beautiful trees decked out in more lights that you can count. Here’s a comprehensive guide to all of the festivities in NYC – http://www.nycgo.com/?event=view.article&id=245898. Make the most of it and happy holidays!

risk, teaching, yoga

Step 313: No More Waiting

Christa Avampato

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” ~ Mark Twain

The anticipation of beginning is always more frightening than actually taking the plunge. At the edge of the cliff, we hesitate. We look back and see all that we have to lose by moving forward. Even if what we have isn’t exactly what we want, it’s comfortable. So long as our dreams live “out there”, in our mind’s eye, they remain perfectly intact. No disappointment. No embarrassment. No potential admission of failure.

There are few things that make me cringe more than the possibility of regret. I’ve been putting off the effort I’d like to put into Compass Yoga because of the risk. “I have to wait to get space,” I tell myself, but the truth is that I’ve been scared to go for it. My biggest fear: what If I offer weekly classes and no one shows up? What if I can’t break even? Or worse, what if people come to the class and they hate it? These are the nagging fears that have kept me making only incremental progress in my yoga teaching.

On Sunday morning, as I was enjoying my extra hour in bed thanks to the end of Daylight Savings, I woke up with such a clear idea of what to do. I couldn’t think of a single good reason to continue waiting. It’s time for me to throw caution and fear to the wind, rent a space for a weekly class, and get going on the marketing of it. I’m going for it. Starting in January, I’ll be giving a weekly class for $10 / person, donating 20% of the class fees to charities selected by the students, giving them the tax deduction. I get to teach a weekly class, students get affordable yoga, and the world gets a little brighter with the donations made to nonprofits that the students care about.

Bye bye, safe harbor. Weekly class details to follow in the coming weeks. I hope you’ll join me.

change, choices, creativity, imagination

Step 312: Growing Imagination

Christa Avampato

“Even as you research, you are filtering out the things that do not resonate with your inner ideals and choosing what does. In doing so you are telling the universe to narrow down the infinite possibilities, focusing all the combined energy of co-creation on what you have chosen. This creates a channel through which your goals can find you, like a beacon in the vast darkness of the universe. Today you are the creator of your future, and your only limits are the boundaries of your imagination.” ~ My horoscope from DailyOm on Friday, November 5th.

My friend, Laura, introduced me to DailyOm horoscopes about a year ago and I am always amazed by their ability to strike just the right chord and help me to feel okay with where I am. I read the horoscope above on my phone just as I was leaving Brian’s office. I was talking with him about a shift in my career that I’m hoping to make in 2011, as well as some other plans I’m making for new projects. I’ve been toying with different ideas and filtering as needed. I explained to Brian that the filtering process can be a little frustrating because it seems to take so much time and the pay-off builds in such small increments.

I’ve started to believe that every creative act requires more editing than content. The initial recording of the idea is important, though the culling down, the focus, and the distillation of what matters and how to execute it are equally important. And that focus is needed if we want to truly expand and grow our imaginations to their full potential. And the incredible thing about imagination is that once we choose to embrace it, celebrate it, and nurture it our goals really do find us. This isn’t magic; it’s only the harvesting of all the seeds we’ve sewn for so long.

change, time

Step 311: An Extra Hour

Christa Avampato

“All my possessions for a moment of time.” ~ Elizabeth I

I never believed it would happen, that life would go by faster as I got older. This year has flown by for me, and the holidays are just around the corner. So many of my friends have talked recently about the passage of time, how one day falls into the next and before we know it too many days have gone before we’ve all gotten together again. I know every second of every day passes by at the exact same length as every second that came before it and everyone that will come after it.

I think times goes by more quickly once we fully realize just how fleeting it all is. When we see the lines start to creep around our eyes, when we see our parents start to grow older, and when we have to start checking the next demographic box on market surveys we realize time doesn’t have to ask for our permission to pass by and it doesn’t care about whether or not we accept it’s passing. It has a stubborn mind of its own. It will go on, with or without us.

I thought a lot about time yesterday as we got an hour of it back. The end of Daylight savings time is the one day when we get that 25th hour we so desperately crave. And you know what? It didn’t really matter that much, just like it doesn’t really matter if we have a little more money or a little more luck. We are remarkable creatures of adaption. If suddenly days shrunk to 23 hours, we’d find a way to still get everything done. We’d flex. We always do.