Category: wishes

action, clarity, thankful, time, wishes

Beautiful: Stop Wishing. Start Doing.

Christa Avampato

“Stop wearing your wishbone where your backbone ought to be.” ~ Elizabeth Gilbert, American author

When I wished on a star or the candles on my birthday cake, I used to wish for something I really wanted as if it might just fall down out of the sky and into my life. I used to make lists of things that I wanted to do, or have, or see, or be, hoping that verbalizing them would somehow actualize them. And then one day I realized that none of those wishes ever came true just because I wished for them. Some of them happened because I worked really hard and I almost always had help from other people who shared the same dream and were willing to work just as hard to see it happen. Some of them never happened at all, no matter how hard I worked, and for that I’m very grateful because I’ve ended up in such a good place.

So I stopped wishing for things out there and started wishing for things that would really make a difference: Now I wish for personal strength and courage, for an ever-deeper sense of compassion and understanding for the situations of others, for the opportunities to be useful and helpful to others, and for the ability to be at peace even in times of terrible turbulence. And a funny thing has started to happen: the more I want these things, the more capable I grow to cultivate them. And the more I cultivate them, the more good they do, in my own life and in the lives of others.

As it turns out, I don’t need to wish for any of these things at all. Wanting them for all the right reasons and tirelessly working for them are the surest ways to bring them into being.

business, career, dreams, fear, feelings, wishes

Leap: Outrunning Fear

Christa Avampato

“What saves a man is to take a step. Then another step. It is always the same step, but you have to take it.” ~ Antoine de Saint-Exupéry via Daily Good

Beginning is the hard part, and every project, idea, wish, relationship begins the same way: setting an intention. That is the hard part. Loudly and proudly saying, “World, this is what I want and come hell or high water I’m going to make it happen.” Getting up the energy and gumption to make that commitment is the very hardest part. It’s not that there won’t be challenges and obstacles to making it happen. Implementation is tough stuff, but just getting the courage to try is the very hardest part.

Why? Why is it so hard for us to give our wildest dream a try? Sadly, we don’t live in a world of unending encouragement. There will always be people, sometimes people very close to you, who for one reason or another will tell you that your dream is too big. We don’t take a first step because we worry that it’s the only step we’ll take, proving all those naysayers right. Our dream was too big. We couldn’t do what we set out to do, and so we’ll have to slunk back to where we came from to take our seat next to the naysayers who never tried to make their dreams come true either.

That’s the fear talking and the only way to get over it is to get it out. Write it all down. Every last fear you have about your biggest, wildest dream belongs on a piece of paper so it can be torn up into pieces and burned into ashes. That very first step requires only one thing – the ability to silence fear. Maybe not permanently, but at least long enough to give us the confidence to take a second step, and then another and another and another.

And pretty soon, before we know it, we’re running. One foot in front of the other, again and again. So fast and so strong, that the fear won’t even have a chance to catch us.

adventure, business, career, creativity, New Years Eve, New York, New York City, wishes, writing, yoga

Leap: My 2012 Resolution, Four and a Half Years in the Making

Christa Avampato

In 2007, I graduated from business school, where I wrote a few feature columns for my school’s newspaper thanks to my friend, Alice, who was the Editor-in-Chief. I had always wanted to be a writer but was never sure I was talented enough to make a go of it. I really enjoyed the writing and a lot of my classmates complimented the columns. At graduation, my friend, Stephen, asked me if I intended to keep writing. I smiled, looked down at the ground, and said I wasn’t sure. “You should start a blog,” he said. I laughed. “Who would read it?” I asked. “I would read it,” he said. One reader was enough for me. It was a start, a beginning, and that was really all I needed.

The week after graduation, I sat on the couch in my living room in Charlottesville surrounded by moving boxes, opened Google, and typed in “free blogging software.” Blogger came up. I had an account from when I started my first blog, Eyes and Ears Wide Open, way back in 2004. It was private because I wasn’t sure at that time that I wanted strangers reading about my life. (How funny that seems now that I live much of my life online!) I reactivated my account and started the blog Christa In New York as a way of unleashing a writer who had been kicking around in me for many, many years.

How I learned to write
After a year and a half of bumbling around learning how to write, I decided I wanted to become a really good writer and the only way I knew how to make that happen was to practice every day. And the sure-fire way to make that happen would be to publicly promise as my 2009 resolution that I would write and publish every day. I kept my resolution and in 2009, I wrote every day about hope. My greatest lesson from that writing journey was that the more often we look for hope, the more likely we are to find it.

In 2010, I bundled up all of that hope and put my daily efforts toward crafting an extraordinary life. I discovered the truth that we build an extraordinary life by finding something extraordinary in ordinary moments.

To amp up my extraordinary living, I used 2011 as a year of new beginnings so that I could get into a beginner’s mindset – exploring, experimenting, and tinkering. As 2011 drew to a close, I wondered for a long time about how I could best make use of this beginner’s mindset. Where would I go from here?

Was there an ending in all this beginning?
I wondered if this would be the end of this blog altogether. I wondered if all this beginning was leading me toward an ending of this chapter. To experiment with that idea, I gave up writing on the weekends for a couple of weeks. I missed posting every day so much that I quickly reversed that decision. Four and a half years later, writing has become an integral part of who I am and how I spent my time. It brings me a lot of joy – and that’s the #1 reason I keep at it.

Perhaps another ending was in order. I briefly considered leaving New York and relocating to the west coast. That caused me to look differently at my city. Was I really ready to move? Could I really leave behind 4+ years worth of effort building a life I love? In about a month’s time, I reversed that decision, too. New York is my home, as crazy and unpredictable as it is. It’s where I belong and that’s a joyful thing to feel.

To solve this riddle, I began to look around at the other areas of my life assessing what brings me joy and what doesn’t. I love my yoga teaching and the healthcare field fascinates me. I adore stories – written, spoken, acted, and sung. I’m passionate about doing good work for people who need help and don’t know where or to whom to turn. I’m happiest when I’m making my own choices.

An ending found
The area of my life that seems to deplete me the most is the place where I spend 40+ hours / week. Though I’m incredibly grateful for the financial stability and experience I’ve gained as part of a large company, the work doesn’t inspire me and it’s not the best use of my skills. I’ve made a number of very good friends there whom I’m sure I will know all of my life. I’ve learned so much there, about the economy, the world, and myself. As 2011 drew to a close, I became acutely aware that I have learned all that I want to learn there. It’s time to move on.

I began to look around, applying to jobs that seemed mildly interesting. I interviewed and received a few offers, though in the end they all seemed to be variations on a theme, a theme I already had in my current job. After a few months, I could see myself in those new roles, unhappy with the circumstances and no better off than I am at my current job. If I wanted the job of my dreams, I would have to build it.

A beginning that was here all along
And so I realized that Compass Yoga could provide me with everything I wanted in a job – I could teach, write, be part of the healthcare field, and help people who really needed the help. I had the job I wanted all along. The trick is now to turn how I make a life into making a living.

So there it is, my 2012 resolution: to make the leap from my job into Compass Yoga full-time. It’s going to be a long and winding road, with many different twists, turns, stops, and starts along the way. I’ll be securing my footing along the path that I know I’m supposed to walk even though I’m not yet sure of all the steps I’ll need to take. Every day in 2012, I’ll be writing about this journey and I hope you’ll join me as this path is paved. Welcome to the beginning of a transformation a long time in the making. And happy new year!

holiday, New Years Eve, wishes

Beginning: Anticipating the End and Then a Beginning

Christa Avampato

“Your someday is now.” ~ @bodyheart

This time of year brings a lot of anticipation. We’ve been buying gifts, making travel arrangements, setting holiday dinner menus, planning time to see dear friends and family, reflecting on the year that’s almost over, and pondering the landscape of the year to come with resolutions and changes. The long wait is over and the holidays are now in full swing.

We wait in wonder for this time of universal change when the clock strikes midnight on the very first day of our new year and we all get a clean slate. We are giddy with excitement, and maybe just a touch of anxiety. Change of any kind can be simultaneously inspiring and scary for all of us.

This next week is a magical time and one of my favorites. Its days are dreamy, filled with hope and promise. 2011 was a rough year the world over. And now that I think about it, these past several years have been a rough go. There’s something special about 2012. I can’t recall the last time I was this excited about a new year. A firm believer in the idea that we can make a fresh start at any time in any place, I’m surprised by how much I’m looking forward to toasting with a little bubbly and joining in on a verse of Auld Lang Syne.

But there will be time for that. The new year will be here soon enough and our plans will begin to take shape. For now, I’m deeply breathing in every ounce of holiday I can find, knowing that everything on the other side of 2011 is going to be just fine. I’m taking in this moment, right now, and tossing up a healthy dose of gratitude for my existence in it.

Happy holidays to all!

change, community service, hope, travel, volunteer, wishes

My Year of Hopefulness – You Get What You Give

Christa Avampato

“What I know for sure is that what you give comes back to you.” ~ Oprah Winfrey

I’m off to Costa Rica tomorrow on a volunteer project with Cross-Cultural Solutions. A lot of people have asked me why I chose to do a volunteer vacation. Why would I spend my vacation working? There are several small reasons: I did a volunteer vacation in the south of France in 2005 and loved it, it’s a great way to truly experience the culture of a new country, it’s a fun way to travel alone without being alone, and I enjoy meeting new people more than I enjoy just about anything else. The true reason I’m volunteering on vacation? It’s good for the world – Oprah’s right, as usual. What we give comes back to us, and I would add that it comes back to us 10-fold.

Though I am volunteering to help others, truly it’s me that I’m helping. I am certain that the Cross-Cultural Solutions program will teach me and help me far more than I could ever teach or help anyone else. It’s an interesting fact about service – you go into it to help others and you’re the one who ends up with the greatest benefit from the work. In theory, this doesn’t make sense. In practice, it is most certainly true.

For the past few months I’ve heard a lot of people wishing out loud. They need a better job, a better place to live, better relationships, better health. They have spent a lot of time trying to figure out how to acquire these things, and I’ve spent a lot of time trying to figure out how I can help them. I wonder if service might be the best remedy for wishing.

I wonder if it’s really true that what we seek for ourselves we can obtain by providing that very thing for someone else. Love, confidence, money, health, a positive outlook on life, trust, friendship, courage. Our list of wishes is never-ending, and therefore the number of opportunities for service is unlimited. How do our lives change if we take on the view “we only get what we give”? And in the process, how can this view change the whole world? I’ll let you know if I find some answers in Costa Rica. Talk to you tomorrow from beautiful Cartago!

apartment, feng shui, good fortune, love, luck, wishes

Shifting energies

Christa Avampato

Some days New York beats the hell out of the best of us. Like a job, no matter how much we love it, it can’t love us back. I got a parking ticket (unfairly I might add – so I’m fighting it), I had a hard time getting around the city for a work project due to construction (which seems to be happening in every neighborhood), the wind was blowing so hard my lungs hurt walking outside, and then I got booted off a subway due to a suspicious package and once I walked to a new train station, a racial fight broke out in the car I was in (right next to me). And this all happened in one day.

I ate dinner with my friend, Brooke, and we talked about energies that seem to be shifting in the world. Sensing that something is happening in the world that is signaling change. Big change, and not bad change. Just a movement, something new on the horizon. Brooke is feng shui-ing her apartment. I have a Dummies guide to the art and though it sits on my bookshelf, I have not once picked it up to help with my current apartment even though my sleep cycles and energies have been completely knocked off kilter. 
Yesterday I started working on the corner of my place that deals with relationships. Previously, I had my junk box there. A recycled cardboard box decorated with some lovely wrapping paper. And in that box I would put all the stuff I couldn’t find another place for, and eventually it became a place that I put all kinds of things that I didn’t want to find a home for at the moment. A dumping ground. My love life. Brooke looked at me with something akin to horror. “You need to fix that.”
So I did. We can’t always force circumstances in our lives; it could be argued that we can never force circumstances in our lives. Rather than pounding the pavement and fighting for what we want, sometimes we need to prepare ourselves and call good fortune to our door. Now I just hope that good fortune is listening.     

celebration, happiness, wishes

Habitual rewards

Christa Avampato

My dear friend, Lisa, took me to brunch this morning for my 32nd birthday. I ordered some peppermint tea and the tag read “reward yourself”. Lisa, who has known me for nearly ten years immediately said, “Christa, as if you need anyone to tell you that.” She’s right of course, I’ve made rewarding myself a habit, though that wasn’t always the case, and as much as I love being nice to myself, it doesn’t come without a tiny piece of questioning each time. 

I took the day off today to celebrate me. I got the idea from my friend, Ken, who also took his birthday off as a personal day this year. Another friend of mine, Alex, told me about a company that gives its employees their birthdays off as an extra perk. 
I took myself for a nice long walk through the park – a glorious, sunny day – and then to get a manicure and pedicure. After that, I took another long and leisurely stroll home. It was one of those days that I was so happy to have had, and would have been so sad to see end except for the fact that I know another self-reward is likely just around the corner.
Alex also was telling me today that as adults we don’t celebrate or birthdays with the same gusto as children. And that started me wondering how this happened. As a kid, I would wake up with such an excitement that my big day had arrived. And while today I was thrilled to have the day off, I didn’t have that tingly happy birthday feeling. So, as my birthday wish, simple though it may seem, I am searching for a way to get that birthday tingle back, a way to believe that self-celebration is not a luxury, but rather something that comes naturally.