Category: risk

courage, creativity, meditation, risk, yoga

Leap: How to Increase Our Odds of Finding the Upside of Risk

Christa Avampato
From Pinterest

Risk has a scary connotation for many people. Maybe that’s due to pop culture references like the movie Risky Business or the board game Risk. Maybe it’s because we have stunning examples of the downside of risk like the latest economic recession which has harmed millions of people to a frightening degree.

The downside of risk paralyzed me for a long time. We have a natural, genetic predisposition to safety and we have been taught that risk is the opposite of safety.

How I changed my view of risk:
That unfortunate, and frankly untrue, equation kept me working for someone else for a long time. At 36, I just left behind a life of working solely for someone else to step out on my own as a freelancer with my new business Chasing Down the Muse, a consultancy business to assist creative professionals and companies on the leading edge of their industries. One reason that dream came to fruition had a lot to do with recognizing that for every downside, there is an upside. And though I wish there was a way to go out on a limb and guarantee safety, that just isn’t how it goes. Upside and downside are inversely proportional. The bigger the potential upside, the bigger the potential downside.

So are we stuck with those natural odds of risk? Absolutely not! There are a number of things we can do to pad our odds in favor of achieving the upside of any risk:

1.) Stash away your cash. I don’t offer investment advice but I feel infinitely confident saying that liquidity in your assets (having cash) is tantamount to giving you the best odds of achieving the upside of a risk. It gives you a cushion to land on if you come crashing down from your leap. How much do you need? That depends on your personality. I tend to hypochondria. I hope for the best and expect the worst. Many financial advisors now suggest having 6-9 months of living expenses stashed away as an emergency fund. I put away double that over 5 years because that’s what I needed to feel secure. You may feel comfortable with less, or you may need more.

2.) Meditate. Seriously? Yes! My yoga and meditation practice is a tool I use whenever I feel the jitters associated with a risk I’m contemplating. It relaxes my body, calms my mind, and helps me to call upon my creativity to drive home new ideas for boosting my odds of achieving the upside of a risk. I teach to share yoga and meditation to share these practices with anyone who wants to give them a whirl and incorporate them into their living. Curious about some meditation techniques you can use yourself? Contact Me.

3.) Stop talking, start writing. We can often talk ourselves round and round into a circle when it comes to our fears. That doesn’t mean we should stop sharing that information. I talk to my friends, my family, my dog, and to all of you about my fears. However, there should be a point where we give ourselves an end to it. I love this exercise from Pam Slim, author of Escape from Cubicle Nation: write down every fear about a risk you’re contemplating and then stack actions against every one of them to ease or erase that fear.

And when all else fails, remember this tidbit:

– Everything will be alright in the end. If it’s not alright, it’s not the end.

health, risk, story, time

Beginning: Bookcases, Dust Bunnies, and Trauma Recovery

Christa Avampato

I was surprised how sad I felt selling my bookcases. I dusted them off one last time before selling them to some nice people on Craig’s List who will make good use of them. They’re lovely, but just to look at them you’d really have to wonder why I was sad to part with them.

I bought these bookcases without a second thought because they were exact replicas of the ones I had in my previous apartment prior to an apartment building fire that ruined most of my belongings and brought my greatest fears out into broad daylight for the world to see. The recovery from that event was a long, hard road. As I set about putting my life back together physically and emotionally, it was easier to just replace some of the things I had rather than find things that really fit the space. That was my rationale anyway. I was lying to myself.

More to the story
What was really happening was much deeper and disturbing. I was desperately trying to recreate my space and be the person I was before the fire. Both were fruitless efforts. There was my life before the fire and then life after, and the two could not be the same. I was changed in ways large and small, some known to me and some that would remain entirely unknown for several years. Those Crate & Barrel bookcases held a lot of emotion and history for me. In selling them, that emotion was released, freed. And then there is a hole that remains.

It’s not a hole meant to be filled in or repaired or rescued. It’s a hole that reminds me in a striking way that this life and our time is so precious and short. It’s a hole that reminds me that while we search for and seek out meaningful and life-changing events, we forget that we cannot go back once we go through them. They change our view of the world and our place in it. We are left to make meaning of them, largely on our own.

We can’t run forever
For a while, we will try to dress up these events. We will valiantly and unflappably try to put the pieces back together, to recreate our reality. This is the safe way. The braver, and ultimately healthier, way to travel through change is to recognize that we will have to imagine our way into a whole new reality. We will have to let go of what we’ve known in favor of a new and richer understanding of life and of ourselves.

In dusting off my bookshelves, I also quite literally dusted off my life. I wiped away some of the leftover pieces of the fear and hurt and sadness that have remained in the embers of that fire. Like dust bunnies, I didn’t even know they were there until they stared me right in the eye. I flinched, and then swept them away. I had to.

The healing way
Recovery from trauma is a slow and winding process. We can’t see beyond the bend and we have only what is right in front of us. That was then and this is now. Trauma warps our sense of time, our sense of reality, and we will trip and cry and laugh and feel lost and then found again. We will be strong one moment and crumbling the next. This cycle doesn’t go on forever, but it does go on and we can’t always predict its timing or triggers.

That’s how it goes – there’s nothing linear about healing. The path doubles back on itself again and again. All we can do is be patient and persistent in our pursuit of wholeness. And I do believe, ardently and passionately, that we can all be whole. And that with enough time, we will be.

learning, risk, television

Beginning: Finding Comfort Outside Your Comfort Zone

Christa Avampato
From http://gosmellthecoffee.com/

“Your current safe boundaries were once unknown frontiers.” – Unknown via MJ, one of this blog’s readers

MJ, a reader of this blog and constant source of inspiration and ideas for me, sent through this quote in a recent comment on my post about negotiating the balance between fear and boredom as we take on new projects. New beginnings can be frightening; many times we must let go of old conceptions of ourselves, our lives, and the world around us so that we can try something new. This release is a death of sorts that allows for new life.

A few years ago I was recounting the story of my NBC job interview to my friend, Brooke. Many of the people I interviewed with were horrified that I didn’t have any TV experience. I was feeling pretty down about the interview until Brooke said to me, “Well have they known about TV since birth? We all start out not knowing anything!” That idea pops into my head every time I start a new project and have any moments of self-doubt.

We all start somewhere. At some point, everything we now know was uncharted territory. Your new beginnings today are no less scary and no more certain that those you experienced yesterday. Just begin. Life is a lottery – you’ve got to be in it to win it so do the things that light you up!

family, risk

Beginning: Honor Your Ancestors, Pick Up Your Head, and Go Out On a Limb

Christa Avampato

Aftermath.com
“Don’t be afraid to go out on a limb. That’s where the fruit is.” ~ H. Jackson Browne via Tiny Buddha

Our vibrancy as a nation is an unsung casualty in this latest economic downturn. I’ve seen too many people hiding their well-founded opinions, particularly if they aren’t “aligned” with senior management, for fear that they’ll be candidates for the pink slip and cardboard box line. I completely understand the fear. Over the past 3 years I’ve watched a lot of truly phenomenal friends and colleagues walk out the door, and not by their own choosing. Good people who put their hearts into their jobs and made enormous sacrifices of their own personal time for the sake of what was best for the companies that employed them. And then they had to suffer through the company talking about their release as a cost savings. It was de-humanizing to say the least, and I want us to productively use our anger over the situation to rise above our fear.

Are we becoming a nation full of people who keep their heads down? What an enormous step backwards. Take a trip over to Ellis Island and it’s easy to see (and feel!) that our nation was founded by some serious risk takers – people who came here with few possessions beyond the clothes on their backs and unable to speak the language. They had no employment, no place to live, and many of them didn’t know a single soul here. How frightening that must have been, and yet they persisted. I’m here because of that persistence. We all are.

To honor their legacy, the legacy of people who risked it all for our sake, we have to take up that same spirit. Start small. Take one tiny step out of your comfort zone. Attempt some audacious project that seems just a bit too big for you. Look around you for the most beautiful dream you can find, gather up your courage, and go out on that limb to get it. It’s waiting for you, and you’ll be better off for throwing the dice to see what happens. We all will be.

risk

Beginning: The Risk Outside Our Comfort Zone

Christa Avampato

This post is also available as a podcast on Cinch and iTunes.

“Behold the turtle. He makes progress only when he sticks his neck out.” ~ James Bryant Conant

A lot of people I know are thinking about changes in their lives, or are in the midst of change, expected and unexpected. They are wondering whether taking a chance is really the right thing to do. They’re plagued by fears of failure and unhappiness and embarrassment. Pursuing a dream can be a scary thing — it takes courage to announce to the world what you’d like to do and then go do it because there is always the risk of face planting and then having to explain what went wrong. And who likes to be wrong?

I’m having this issue, too, roughly every hour on the hour. I have been waking up with a perpetual nightmare that I’m sitting all alone in the beautiful yoga studio I’ve rented because no one showed up for class. Now, this is a slight over-reaction considering how many people have RSVP’d just through the Meet-up group for the class and I still have roughly 75% of a marketing plan up my sleeve. But it could happen. Failure can always happen, no matter how successful we’ve been in the past, no matter how good an idea we have may be. The possibility of failure is never 100% erased from a situation.

So here’s some advice: listen to James Bryant Conant and think about yourself as a turtle. You’re all curled up in your nice warm shell, safe and protected from the outside world. It’s important to have that shell with you – whenever you make a change or try something new, it’s nice to know a safe retreat is available should you need a private place to lick your wounds a bit and heal from a plan gone wrong. But you just can’t stay in there forever and be happy. Every once in a while, you need to have a peek at the outside world. To get anywhere, you’re just going to have to climb out of that shell for a while and be exposed, moving one step at a time.

Others have done it. You can, too. Let’s stick our necks out there together and encourage one another along the road. Let’s make some progress.

This blog is part of the 2011 WordPress Post Every Day Challenge.

failure, future, learning, mistakes, risk

Step 320: The Joy of Big Mistakes

Christa Avampato

“Mistakes are not the “spice” of life. Mistakes are life. Mistakes are not to be tolerated. They are to be encouraged. (And, mostly, the bigger the better.)” ~ Tom Peters

How many adventures have been stopped in their tracks by the question, “What if I make a mistake?” How many dreams have died an untimely death? How many brilliant plans were left behind on the drawing board, never even getting a shot at the light of day? We hear so often that mistakes are our best teachers, that we learn more from failures than successes. So why don’t we celebrate mistakes? Why are we bent on telling people to always do what appears on the surface to be safe? Why does risk, any risk to any degree, have a negative connotation?

Here’s my advice on mistakes: start small with the aspiration to go big. I’d love to chuck caution to the wind, quit my job and do nothing but write and teach yoga. Truly, I’d wake up glowing every day, at least for the first week. And then I’d get nervous about money and I’d probably make some choices that compromise the work I really want to do with my yoga and my writing just to make ends meet. I’d likely save less, inhibiting my financial goals, and I wouldn’t be able to pay down my students loans as aggressively as I’d like to.

So my plan is to rent a small studio space once a week. The cash outlay isn’t much and I can rent week to week. I’m stepping up and out, taking some risk (mostly the potential of a very bruised ego if no one shows up to my class, which I can live with), and trying to strike out on my own in an authentic, meaningful way. I’m learning how to fly before jumping off the cliff. But don’t worry – I’m making my way to that cliff, and the moment I get a bit more confidence in my wings nothing will keep me from taking a running start right toward the edge.

Getting comfortable with risk, mistakes, and failure takes some time. Don’t beat yourself up for needing to take things slow. Inch your way to your edge. It’s a step-wise process. Go slowly, but earnestly. Rather than aiming higher for the sake of bigger successes, I’m going to focus on upping the anty and aiming for bigger mistakes. Thanks to Tom Peters for always encouraging us to jump right into the fray – it’s more fun in the fray than out of the fringe.

adventure, career, change, choices, decision-making, risk

Step 315: Risks Are Less Scary Than They First Appear

Christa Avampato

I’m a fan of the daily newsletter from Psychology Today. Every day they send over 4 stories that are loosely connected, and try to make their readers better people. A few weeks ago they sent over a set of article about fear and how the mind interprets different fears. My big take-away: we have a warped view of risk, real and perceived.

I think about risk a lot for several specific reasons:

1.) At the moment I work in financial services – an industry built around the ability to manage risk
2.) I’m working on starting a small business – a challenging proposition even when the economy is at its best
3.) I live in New York City, a city built and run by people who take their dreams, and all the risk that those dreams carry, very seriously

One of Psychology Today’s articles talks about the 10 ways we screw up our perception of a risk. The good news: we’re actually much more capable than we give ourselves credit for. I understand that the economy’s in the hole because we got way too confident, that for years we were living way out of the ballpark of our means. I’m not suggesting we get back to that place of too-risky living.

What I am suggesting is that we’ve gone too far in the other direction. We tell ourselves that we can’t take any risk now. Better to stay in the job, relationship, city where we are. New is scary. New is uncertain. New is overrated. I hate that we’ve painted ourselves into a corner. It’s true that we need to make smart choices, but it’s also true that we need to live, really live. We’re creatures of dreams and aspirations and joy. We won’t thrive if we don’t strive.

I’m not telling you to run out into the world, full tilt, throwing any and every caution to the wind. (Well, actually, I think it’s good to do that once in a while.) What I am asking you to do is keep in mind that we only get one crack at this go-around in the world and that this world needs you to live the best life you can imagine. We need you at your very best. It’s my firm belief that we’re at our best when we’re happiest, and we’re happiest when we’re out there in the world living the way we want.

So take a little tip-toe outside of that box you put yourself in. Try something new and different that does nothing but lift your spirits. If we all take some small steps, together we can leap.

risk, teaching, yoga

Step 313: No More Waiting

Christa Avampato

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” ~ Mark Twain

The anticipation of beginning is always more frightening than actually taking the plunge. At the edge of the cliff, we hesitate. We look back and see all that we have to lose by moving forward. Even if what we have isn’t exactly what we want, it’s comfortable. So long as our dreams live “out there”, in our mind’s eye, they remain perfectly intact. No disappointment. No embarrassment. No potential admission of failure.

There are few things that make me cringe more than the possibility of regret. I’ve been putting off the effort I’d like to put into Compass Yoga because of the risk. “I have to wait to get space,” I tell myself, but the truth is that I’ve been scared to go for it. My biggest fear: what If I offer weekly classes and no one shows up? What if I can’t break even? Or worse, what if people come to the class and they hate it? These are the nagging fears that have kept me making only incremental progress in my yoga teaching.

On Sunday morning, as I was enjoying my extra hour in bed thanks to the end of Daylight Savings, I woke up with such a clear idea of what to do. I couldn’t think of a single good reason to continue waiting. It’s time for me to throw caution and fear to the wind, rent a space for a weekly class, and get going on the marketing of it. I’m going for it. Starting in January, I’ll be giving a weekly class for $10 / person, donating 20% of the class fees to charities selected by the students, giving them the tax deduction. I get to teach a weekly class, students get affordable yoga, and the world gets a little brighter with the donations made to nonprofits that the students care about.

Bye bye, safe harbor. Weekly class details to follow in the coming weeks. I hope you’ll join me.

adventure, choices, determination, government, journey, politics, risk

Step 256: What We Can Learn from Rahm Emanuel

Christa Avampato

“If you run before the wind, you can’t take off. You’ve got to turn into it. Face it. The thing you push against is the thing that lifts you up.” ~ Delta commercial

Rahm Emanuel has a reputation for being a tough administrator who gets the job done. He runs a tight ship as an ambitious First Mate. I’m sure somewhere in the history books, long after the Obama administration has left the White House, there will be some chapter somewhere that recalls Emanuel’s role as the White House Chief of Staff. More than likely, the average American will not remember him nor his critical role in making the Obama administration run. Even now, do we know how much policy he has influenced with a heavy hand? At best, we know that he is a trusted adviser to our President, though we don’t know his advice.

Last week Mayor Daley announced that he will not seek re-election, and rumors begin to circulate that Emanuel may exit the White House to return to his beloved city of Chicago to become the star of his own life and career, as opposed to someone’s manager who looks on from the shadows of the wings. I thought about that image when I met with Brian last week. Brian has been a supportive and unrelenting advocate for me and my career. He thinks I have spent enough time in a supporting role and that it’s time for me to step out on my own in some way. He voices that message on a regular basis.

I tell him I need some more time to save money, to grow my experience base. Brian’s all for pragmatism, though he’s more in favor of setting the stage for how we’d like our creativity to organize itself. In other words, if we tell our creativity we’re just not ready and we need a plan B then our creativity will believe us and get going on a brilliant plan B. Our creativity, in large part, does what we tell it to do.

The trouble is that I’m an excellent supporting character. I’m really good at juggling priorities and managing around challenging personalities. I’ve made a successful career out of improving situations that very much-needed improving, and until I decide to work from a clean slate, I will continue to be part of the clean-up crew. We get the circumstances we ask for, or at least the ones that we’re willing to tolerate.

We all deserve the opportunity to be the stars of our own lives, to test our own ideas, and to make our own independent contributions to the world. As much as Rahm Emanuel may respect his boss and believe in the Obama agenda, he doesn’t call the shots. At the end of the day, they’re called for him to execute against. That’s the gig that comes with being a Chief of Staff and not the Chief. Of course he’s considering the possibility of becoming the mayor of his hometown. And with that inspiration, we should all think about what stage it is that we’d like to star on – we all deserve a little piece of the spotlight in our own lives. Turn into the wind, and see what lifts you up. For Emanuel, it’s the city of Chicago. What is it for you?

career, change, dreams, friendship, risk

My Year of Hopefulness – Safety in Change

Christa Avampato

“It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power.” ~ Alan Cohen

My friend, Rob, and I were talking about safety a few weeks ago. Rob talked to me about how we’ve conned ourselves into believing that a company, a job, can give us some feeling of security and stability when really it’s a house of cards. I’ve seen it happen to so many of my friends – they are cranking along in their jobs, exhibiting exceptional performance and results, and then the pink slip. Rob’s advice on my news of moving on: “You’ve done the hard part: making the choice to step outside the box that hems one in, and keeps one from dreaming bigger dreams…know you are supported from many quadrants. More as it goes…”

I emailed some friends about my impending jump off the cliff. I told them that it feels great to have made this decision, though my friend, Eric, in his characteristic empathy sensed that I’m scared. And then in his continuing characteristic empathy, he responded : “Don’t worry, Christa – I already hit rock bottom underneath that cliff – so I’ll be there to catch you!” Not at all surprising since Eric honestly saved my life as I muddled through my MBA. My friend Laura simply responded “I am 150000% behind you.” My friend, Allan, said “You are very brave and thoughtful.” These are the very messages I needed today to lift me up.

When I think about finding security and stability, I’m reminded that it’s in our friends and family and in the chance we take on our own abilities that we can find a haven. The safest route for me is not to stand on that cliff hoping that it doesn’t crumble beneath me; it’s to jump, knowing that friends like Rob, Eric. Laura, and so many others are there to catch me if I need catching. They are the ones I can place my faith and trust in.

My friend, Jamie, finished up his last day at his job today. We went for a celebratory dinner, yummy cheap Thai food around the corner from my apartment at Sura. We toasted to our new adventures, to our choice to be free and to build the lives we want to live. And while there is still that underlying ripple of fear of the unknown, fear of what’s next, there is also a tremendous sense of excitement, of realizing that we are on the edge of becoming more ourselves.

I was reminded all day today, through so many different channels, that in September I came very close to never getting a tomorrow. I stood on West 96th Street, watching smoke billow out of my building, realizing I was living a life of great comfort and little meaning. That great “what if” hangs over my head every day, and rather than being plagued by it, I am so grateful for it. What if I hadn’t made it out of that building? What if that was the end? Could I have looked back on September 4th and said, “yes, I’m so glad that I was living that life?” No – not at all. In that moment, change became not an option, but an inevitability, and it’s been driving me forward, upward, and onward toward a life lived with greater meaning, greater purpose, every day since.

The image above is not my own. It can be found here.