choices, decision-making, future

Step 233: Non-negotiables

I talked to Brian today about the idea of non-negotiables. Now that the summer is drawing to a close, I’m feeling some shifts in a number of areas of my life. It seems like every piece of ground is a little unstable, a little shaky. Not in a bad, or even uncomfortable, way. Just changing, again. Constant movement. Change opens the way for new beginnings, and Brian encouraged me to think about how I really want to shape this change by establishing my non-negotiables and putting them into action.

My friend, Kristen, is a numerologist and at the start of the year she told me 2010 would be an interesting year, one in which I would just have to hang on as the unexpected twists and turns cropped up fast and furious. She told me that just when I thought I had it all figured out, the year would show we that the unexpected was just over the horizon. I hoped that 2010 would be a time of rest and rejuvenation. And despite my best efforts to make it that way, 2010 has been all about growth and very little about rest. It’s what I needed – 8 months in I’m much stronger than I was at the start of the year.

With everything changing, Brian asked me to think about my non-negotiables in every area of my life: work, home, relationships, how I spend my time, and what I want to look back on my year having accomplished. I can easily tick off a list of things I do want in my life, things I don’t want in my life are more difficult to categorize. I recognize their importance; I understand that they help us to make better choices. But the piece I struggle with is that non-negotiables can lead us to close doors, to let go of certain opportunities. And I suppose a piece of me has a hard time letting go of opportunity; there is something nostalgic about possibility, even if that possibility is a long-shot.

Over the next few weeks, I’ll be thinking about the idea of non-negotiables. What stays, what goes, and what needs some more evaluation. Have you been through this process of setting firm non-negotiables in any area of your life? I’d love to know how it went for you.

children, education, film, movie

Step 232: Waiting for Superman

On September 24th, a documentary entitled Waiting for Superman hits theatres. It explores our broken public education system in the U.S. and highlights some of the people, like Geoffrey Canada of the Harlem Children’s Zone, who have dedicated their lives to making a difference in education. Because education, and specifically public education, is the cause I’m most passionate about, I wanted to use today’s post to encourage people to mark their calendars, see the movie, and get involved.

If we don’t fix public education in the U.S., all of the social programs in the world won’t make a bit of difference in the quality of life here. The generation now coming through public elementary school, for the first time in our country’s history, is poised to be less literate than the previous generation. We’re going backwards at a time that we need to be leaping ahead. The consequences of failing our children are dire, and honestly, I’m not sure that they’re reversible. It’s an enormous problem that’s going to take every bit of brain power, creativity, and sweat equity that we can muster to find solutions.

And I’m not talking about solutions for those who can afford it or are lucky enough to win a school attendance lottery. The ones I most worry about are the ones who can’t afford it, who don’t win the lottery – what’s their way out and up of their current socio-economic level? Is there a way out at all? Do their dream just die on the vine, and our nation’s future right along with it?

A while back, Tom Friedman wrote in an editorial that we need to go to the bad neighborhoods before the bad neighborhoods come to us. The same is true of students and schools – if we don’t get to the ones that desperately need us, they will find us in all sorts of unfortunate ways. And it’s not their fault. It’s ours. It’s not a matter of if, but a matter of when, unless we all get involved. See the movie, check out its website (with loads of suggestions and resources for anyone of any means to help rebuild the public education system), and let’s see what we can do together.

creativity, technology, yoga

Step 231: My SXSW Presentation Submission – Yoga and Creative Focus

During my yoga teacher training I spent a lot of time thinking about the link between yoga and creativity. Then I took it one step further and began to wonder if yoga could be a tool to call for creativity at will. To further explore this interest with a creative audience, I submitted a presentation idea to the 2011 SXSW Interactive Conference. SXSW Interactive is a collection of ridiculously talented people in the digital space who get together every March in Austin, Texas to share, learn, and create.

In my presentation, Taming the Money Mind: Yoga and Creative Focus, I would teach conference attendees about getting into the creative zone at will as opposed to waiting and hoping for creative inspiration to strike. Attendees would walk away with answers to the following questions:

1. What is the scientific link between yoga and creativity?
2. Can yoga help us to access our creative inspiration at will?
3. What physical techniques are useful to cultivate creativity?
4. Can I practice these techniques anywhere, anytime, regardless of my physical condition?
5. Can I teach these practices to my team to help them cultivate their own creativity?

A portion of the decision-making process that determines which presentation ideas will be accepted involves voting by anyone and everyone who cares to vote. It does require you to do about 30 seconds of work to create an account and log in, but it’s pretty painless. I’d love (and greatly appreciate) your support!

To read more about my presentation check it out by clicking here. Thanks for taking a look!

writing

My Latest Piece in Technolawyer: A Former Attorney Finds His Calling as a Therapist

My latest piece for Technolawyer profiles Will Meyerhofer, an exceedingly good-hearted attorney turned therapist. I had a wonderful time interviewing him and it was almost as therapeutic as a session with my own coach, Brian. I think they may be spiritual twins. Check out the piece here.

The most intriguing part of Will’s therapy practice is that he operates on a total sliding scale. His clients tell him what they can pay, and that’s the rate they pay. It takes guts to operate a business model like that, particularly in these economic times. Dubbed “The People’s Therapist”, he’s changing the world, one mind, one life at a time. You can learn more about Will be visiting his website and blog.

Above is a picture of Will that he sent to me while he was on vacation in Vermont.

care, community, happiness, harmony, work

Step 230: Bring Your Heart With You

On the heels of yesterday’s post, I’ve been thinking a lot about heart and passion and why we show up when, where, and for whom. For a while, we can get away with putting in just enough effort and time, the minimum requirement. Things will crank along at an ok speed. The work will get done. Most people will think the result is just fine.

The problem is that working listlessly eventually takes a tremendous toll on our psyche and our spirit. It dulls our senses and our intellect. It makes us less of who we are, and that’s the last thing that the world needs, especially right now. What the world needs is all of us at our very best, bringing all of our gifts and talents and attention to bear. There’s no glory in spending our days in a holding pattern.

We need to show up every day, at home, at work, at play, with an open heart and an open mind. We don’t have time to phone it in. Really, life is precious and fleeting and we don’t get to choose how much of it we have. We only control the amount of joy we pack into it. And the world can’t wait for us. If need be, it will drag us kicking and screaming toward our better future.

I would rather just take the world by the hand, and go along smiling toward the bright, happy days ahead where I’m using my heart and my mind in equal measure. The only work we have to do is the world we’re meant to do. Everything else is just a distraction.

career, work

Step 229: 7 Job Search Methods That Worked for Me

A lot of my friends are peeking out from under the gloom of the recession to see what opportunities lie in wait. Now two to three years out of business school, we’re starting to think seriously about a move that aligns our hearts and our minds, and we care deeply about impacting the world in a significant way. The heart-led job search can be tricky terrain. It’s not as easy as hopping on Monster.com and blanketing the field with our resumes. This one requires more finesse, creativity, and patience.

In today’s post, I thought it might be helpful to list a few methods I’ve used over the last three years that have led me to interesting new ground. If you’re in the market, I hope these ideas get you going, too.

1.) Be authentic about your interests. Someone somewhere in the world needs the gifts you have to offer. I stopped trying to get organizations to like me and just focused on talking about the ideas that I’m passionate about. I want to take my experience into the public education field, a field I love to research. I’m constantly reading about it, and trying to connect to others with the same interest. I focus on learning and sharing as much as I can. Talking about that passion is helping me to find my pack. And in the heart-led job search, your pack is king.

2.) Don’t network when you need a job – network all the time. In many ways, having a job where we’re comfortable can make us a little lazy. We stop going to events. We stop looking for new connections and neglect the ones we have. Then all of a sudden we need something, and we wonder why people won’t put themselves out there for us. Keep the mindset of constant connection, to new contacts and treasured ones, and you’ll find opportunities present themselves to you as often as you look around for them.

3.) Free can lead to fee. Especially in the recession, organizations are looking for more help. Because I’m interested in the social venture / nonprofit fields, this is a bit of an easier sell for me. I’ve done pro-bono marketing and communications work with Junior Achievement, American Red Cross, and Save the Children. I’ve not been paid for this work yet, but down the line I know these relationships will be very valuable, and I’ve gotten incredible experience with organizations who mean a lot to me. Win-win. Check to see if your company has any of these projects you could join (or lead!) and if not, reach out directly to organizations that interest you and offer a few hours of free consulting.

4.) Volunteer. Again, easier for me to make this case because of the work I’m interested in, but I have a lot of friends who’ve made valuable contacts while doing something good for their communities. Alumni clubs are a great starting resource. Also, check out programs like iMentor that place an emphasis on bringing their volunteers together in social settings to meet and get to know one another.

5.) Social media is more than a means to keep up with your friends. I write on this blog every day because I love it, and believe me it is a lot of work. I’m not suggesting that everyone have a blog, and there are ways for everyone to be involved in some aspect of social media no matter how much time they have (or don’t have.) I also tweet, use FB for my work, tap into some location-based services like Foursquare, actively use LinkedIn. My inbox collects about 30 e-newsletters per day that I scan for interesting stories and companies. Every cool opportunity I’ve found since business school somehow has a social media link. It’s that important – so get out there in some virtual way and connect to people who interest you.

6.) Write letters and emails to people whose work you admire. When you read about an organization that interests you, write to them and express your interest. I do this all the time and I’m always pleasantly surprised how much people like to talk about themselves and their work to someone who shares their interests. Learn from them.

7.) Make your current work as meaningful as possible. I work on new technology projects, particularly related to mobile technology, in my day job. I know technology is critical to public education moving forward, so while I currently work outside of public education, I know the experience I’m getting will be very valuable. Looking forward to the future is important, but don’t let current opportunities go to waste. You them wisely.

I’d love to hear what’s worked for you in your job searches!

community, government, legal

Step 228: Reflections on Jury Duty Service

I thought jury duty would strengthen my belief in a legal system that requires proof of guilt beyond a reasonable doubt, a trial before 12 unbiased peers, and a set of due processes to equally protect all people. Instead, it made me question whether this system delivers justice more often than it inflicts wrongful pain and suffering. A week after serving, my mind still can’t rest.

The facts remain:
Mr. Bond lived in West Harlem at 60 Saint Nicholas Avenue, a building at the cross-section of Saint Nicholas Avenue and West 113th Street (a one-stop, five-minute subway ride or an easy twenty-minute walk from my own apartment);

On or about March 5, 2009, Mr. Bond was moving a couch, wrapped in twine to keep the cushions in place, upstairs with the help of some friends. They were taking a break from the move and standing around in a loose circle in the lobby;

There were open containers of beer in the lobby;

Two police officers in plain clothes entered the building, brandishing their badges, under the pretense that they were following two suspect black teenagers into the building (according to the officers, the teenagers “looked lost”);

Rather than continuing to follow those teenagers, the police officers told the group of men moving the couch to freeze and put their hands up against the wall;

Mr. Bond ran around the corner, was pursued by one of the police officers, and brought back to the lobby. Upon search in the lobby, a folding knife was found in Mr. Bond’s pocket. The police officer tested the knife and declared it a gravity knife, an illegal type of knife in New York City. Mr. Bond was placed under arrest. Eventually, it was discovered that Mr. Bond had a small amount of marijuana on him as well;

As a jury, our task was to determine if the knife Mr. Bond had in his pocket could fall into the broad and fuzzy classification of a gravity knife. Not if the law was ridiculous (and for the record, I believe it is). Not if Mr. Bond knew the knife was illegal. Not if the knife was indeed Mr. Bond’s and was found in his pocket. Not if he had any intent to use it to do anything other than cut the twine around the couch. Just the classification of the knife, please.

By definition a gravity knife has the capability to open by the use of gravity or centrifugal force, and then the blade must lock into an open position. After hearing both sides, under this definition, we determined the knife was a gravity knife. Verdict delivered, case closed. And off went Mr. Bond to serve 3.5 to 7 years in prison. His friends and family members hung their heads and cried. Mr. Bond, tragically, didn’t even appear surprised. He had no expression at all on his face. If I was a black man living in a section of Harlem infamous for drugs and violent crime, with a white judge, white district attorney, white police officers, white defense attorney who barely presented a case at all, and a mostly white jury, I guess would feel the same way. In the courtroom, I wanted to shove aside the defense attorney and do the job myself. At least then Mr. Bond would have had some defense presented on his behalf. I went home and cried, too.

Now Mr. Bond will spend at least 3.5 years in a prison system that will deprive him of dignity and freedom, returning him to a society that deprives him of those things as well. With a felony on his record, finding a job or attaining public assistance will be next to impossible. What will become of Mr. Bond and his family? How will they ever be able to have the opportunities to improve their lot in life? What has this done to their spirit and their belief that our system here protects its citizens and delivers justice? I went to bed the night of the verdict with a heavy heart, knowing that Mr. Bond was spending his first night of many within a cell that I didn’t believe he should be in. Circumstances may not always matter to the law, but they matter to me.

As we left the jury room on our last day, the judge thanked us for our service and she sincerely meant it. Now that the case had a verdict, she told us we were free to discuss the case with anyone, though she added the caveat that she didn’t think anyone would be interested in any of the details. I disagree. After the urging of my co-workers, I wrote to my Representatives in Congress and the Senate, to Mayor Bloomberg and a number of media outlets. I have no idea if they will do anything, but I certainly couldn’t let this moment pass in silence.

I kept rolling over in my mind how a system can hold its citizens to laws they don’t even know or understand. I’m a well-educated person and I wouldn’t know that kind of knife was illegal. If I was moving a couch in my lobby with my friends and a friend gave me that knife to cut twine, could I be searched at random by a police officer and arrested for a felony? I could, but the truth is I wouldn’t be. And even if I was searched and the knife was found in my pocket, I’m confident that the police would just confiscate it and send me on my way. I’m a white professional who lives on the Upper West Side in a full-service building. While Mr. Bond and I live only a few blocks apart, we might as well live in different countries – the laws that govern his life may, on paper, be the same as the laws that govern mine. In reality, it doesn’t play out that way.

I know my jury performed its civic duty and delivered a correct verdict in good faith as outlined by the law. It’s the law itself, and the legal and societal systems that caused Mr. Bond to be arrest at all, that leave me with a reasonable doubt that everyone in the U.S. is protected equally and fairly.

failure, rejection, writer, writing

Step 227: Rejection is a Part of the Writing Life

I used to keep a file of rejection letters from companies where I applied for jobs. I may have them buried in a sealed box somewhere on the top shelf of my closet. I hope so – some day I want to make sure to go back and read them. Most of them were probably right to reject me. And those rejections didn’t get me down; they just made me work harder and that probably warrants a thank you note to each of them.

As a freelance writer, rejection is part of the path. In the end, I know I’m a better writer for all of the rejections I’ve received (and there have been many.) There’s no getting away from the occasional (or common) ding. A few days ago I received the latest in a long line, though I must admit it did have some interesting insights and a compliment thrown in at the end. It is in response to a piece I wrote on my recent jury duty service where I believe that the defendant was a victim of racial profiling, landing him with an unjust prison sentence. What strikes me as sad about the rejection letter is that the injustice that I discussed in the essay would be considered commonplace (and therefore acceptable) by anyone, most of all an editor of a highly respected publication.

I will post the essay on this blog as tomorrow’s entry because I think it deserves as wide a reach of audience as I can get for it, not for my sake but for the sake of the defendant in the trial. In the mean time, here’s the magazine editor’s response to my submission.

“Christa,

Thanks for the submission. I’m afraid this isn’t a good fit for us, though. Certainly an injustice seems to have occurred, and it seems sensible to lament it. But as lamentable as it is, the story here feels too commonplace to support an essay. That our codes of law have areas of absurdity, and that minority citizens are more vulnerable than privileged ones, are widely recognized facts. The case of Mr. Bond illustrates those facts, but an essay must do more than that to be compelling — whether by means of a counter-intuitive twist, an eccentric voice, or some other mechanism that either delivers us to a destination that’s different than we might have expected, or gets us there by an unexpected route.

You write well and clearly, and I would be more than happy to consider other submissions from you. I just don’t think this is the one for us.

Cordially…”

time, to-do lists, work

Step 226: More Free Time This Fall

My summer was not the relaxing break I hoped for a few months ago. Trips that didn’t go the way I planned, travel delays and cancellations for a variety of scary reasons, and work that took a turn for the insane. In general I felt off. About a week ago, I saw some of the fog start to lift, and then it plunged right back down for another round of crazy. I was feeling worn out, but still laughing, which is always a good sign.

Last weekend I took a hard look at my Fall schedule and saw the work mounting. I made some tough decisions about which pieces had to take a backseat for the time being. This afternoon I got an email from LIM College saying my social media class couldn’t be offered this Fall. I was disappointed to say the least, but nothing is as good as it seems or as bad as it seems. To their credit, LIM offered me the opportunity to teach several other classes this Fall that are more central to their curriculum (mine was very much an elective) but either the schedule didn’t fit with mine or the topic wasn’t my area of expertise.

The unfortunate aspects of not teaching at LIM College this Fall:

1.) I spent a lot of time and effort on the class building it from scratch

2.) I was looking forward to getting into college-level teaching much earlier in my career than I anticipated

3.) Missed income since I now won’t be paid this Fall for class or the work I’ve put into it to-date

And the upside:
1.) If the scheduling works out, mine and LIM’s, there is the possibility that I could teach the class at LIM in the Spring which would mean that the work I did would not go to waste

2.) I met Dudley Blossom, the Chair of the Marketing Department, at LIM. He is even more disappointed than I am that the class won’t be offered. His guidance as I built the curriculum was an incredible experience for me and I am confident that we will do some work together somewhere down the line

3.) I now have time for some of the projects that I put off in order to teach at LIM:
– Working on Innovation Station and a variety of other public education projects
– Spending more time on my yoga teaching through Compass Yoga
– Taking additional freelance writing assignments
– Working on my book idea that uses yoga principles as the basis for personal financial management
– Getting and training a dog
– Spending more time at the gym

4.) Now that I do have a curriculum created and I fully own it, I can shop it around to other schools who may be interested

5.) I learned a very valuable lesson – I will never again do freelance work for anyone without a contract

6.) I can take a couple of weekend trips I had originally decided to cancel this Fall

7.) My normal working hours won’t be divided between this class and my job, meaning that I won’t need to take up any of my personal free time to attend to work duties

8.) Fall is my favorite time of year, and honestly it’s always a better set of months for me than summer. Now I will get to enjoy more of it outside

9.) Having this class on my schedule made me re-sign my lease on my current apartment and not have to worry about moving; for that I’m very grateful

3 negatives, 9 positives. By sheer number, that’s about as much lemonade as I can make. The real bonus for me comes from knowing that all these types of things happen for a reason. There must be something else this Fall that really needs my attention, and now whatever that thing is, I’ll have more time for it. The unexpected can set us back a bit, but it brings with it a lot of excitement, too. I wonder what’s around the bend…

books, diet, dreams, entertainment, film, food, forgiveness, love, movie, relationships, religion, simplicity

Step 225: The Best Way to Eat Pray Love

“In a world of disorder and disaster and fraud, sometimes only beauty can be trusted. Pleasure cannot be bargained down.” ~ Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat Pray Love

The long-anticipated movie of a woman traveling through the world looking for delicious food, peace of mind, and love opens in theaters nationwide today. Last week I walked by a swanky home store advertising “get your Eat Pray Love scented candles here” in its windows. Elizabeth Gilbert, the author of Eat Pray Love, runs an importing business with her new husband. That may explain the commercialization of the film. Still, the merchandising seems like an odd play destined for a less-than-stellar market performance, no matter how high the box office ratings are.

The sad truth is that Eat Pray Love is a well-written book, with lyrical language, rich imagery, and some important insights that, if put to good use, could actually increase people’s happiness. The problem is that it’s been so hyped that most consumers are sick to death of it. And the onslaught of book-related merchandise doesn’t help matters any.

Here’s my suggestion: don’t go to the movie at all. I’m not even sure I’d suggest you read the book at this point. You know how the story goes so it sort of takes the fun out of it. Here’s how you can really live the message of finding your own path, the issue at the heart of the story:

1.) Eat well and enjoy it. Stop mindlessly munching on whatever is within arms reach, enjoy your food with good company, and rather than beating the heck out of yourself for the calories, just exercise more

2.) Pray in your own way. I’m a spiritual person, meaning that the light that is within me honors the light that is within you. Be good to your family, your friends, and your neighbors. Stop asking what the world needs you to do, and just concentrate on doing what brings you joy. That’s where the real goodness is. Recognize that there’s something beyond the here and now, and that we are all intricately and beautifully connected. Honor that connection through service, which is at its essence a divine act.

3.) Love. Forget your past failures in love. Forget the heartache and the tears and the anger and the screwed up behaviors of people who hurt you. Get it all out in the open, let it go, and move on. There’s nothing worse that ruining our next relationship by imbuing it with the problems of the last one. I know it’s hard. I’ve had my heart broken in a million pieces more times than I can count. I’ve got a good family and good friends who help me pick up the pieces and put them back together, and I’m a better person for it, even though it was hell to go through in the first place. Keep loving. The alternative is what causes this world to be such a rough place to live – we shouldn’t make it any worse by carting around our disappointments from one relationship to the next.

And if you really want to know what Elizabeth Gilbert and her journey are all about, watch her TED talk on creativity. In 18 minutes it will inspire you to do something extraordinary, and the world could use a little more of that these days.

The image above depicts Julia Roberts as Elizabeth Gilbert in the movie Eat Pray Love, opening today nationwide. I like the sunflowers.