choices, decision-making, future

Step 233: Non-negotiables

I talked to Brian today about the idea of non-negotiables. Now that the summer is drawing to a close, I’m feeling some shifts in a number of areas of my life. It seems like every piece of ground is a little unstable, a little shaky. Not in a bad, or even uncomfortable, way. Just changing, again. Constant movement. Change opens the way for new beginnings, and Brian encouraged me to think about how I really want to shape this change by establishing my non-negotiables and putting them into action.

My friend, Kristen, is a numerologist and at the start of the year she told me 2010 would be an interesting year, one in which I would just have to hang on as the unexpected twists and turns cropped up fast and furious. She told me that just when I thought I had it all figured out, the year would show we that the unexpected was just over the horizon. I hoped that 2010 would be a time of rest and rejuvenation. And despite my best efforts to make it that way, 2010 has been all about growth and very little about rest. It’s what I needed – 8 months in I’m much stronger than I was at the start of the year.

With everything changing, Brian asked me to think about my non-negotiables in every area of my life: work, home, relationships, how I spend my time, and what I want to look back on my year having accomplished. I can easily tick off a list of things I do want in my life, things I don’t want in my life are more difficult to categorize. I recognize their importance; I understand that they help us to make better choices. But the piece I struggle with is that non-negotiables can lead us to close doors, to let go of certain opportunities. And I suppose a piece of me has a hard time letting go of opportunity; there is something nostalgic about possibility, even if that possibility is a long-shot.

Over the next few weeks, I’ll be thinking about the idea of non-negotiables. What stays, what goes, and what needs some more evaluation. Have you been through this process of setting firm non-negotiables in any area of your life? I’d love to know how it went for you.