I went to The Half King (one of the last great New York literary bars) last night to hear the author Tom Grimes talk about his new book Mentor: A Memoir. The book discusses Grime’s relationship with Frank Conroy, his mentor and friend whom he met at the Iowa Writer’s Workshop when Grimes was a graduate student at Iowa. Grimes explained how the book came about from a magazine assignment gone wrong. An editor had asked him to write a piece on Conroy’s work and instead the piece morphed into an exploration of Grime’s mentor relationship with Conroy. While not what the magazine editor asked for, the editor encouraged him to keep going and 8 months later Grimes had a book he never intended to write.
Exceedingly gracious and humble, Grimes also read a passage from the book from his early writing career when he waited tables at a small restaurant in Key West, Florida. He had a several second encounter with Conroy when Conroy spoke on a panel about writing in Key West. Conroy brushed him aside as just another would-be writer wanting admission into Iowa. Because of his rude behavior, Grimes wrote him off until Conroy called him to offer admission and a scholarship to Iowa after Conroy read his application and sample manuscript.
Throughout the talk, Grimes offered advice and encouragement to the audience about publishing, the craft of writing, the struggles that every writer faces in finding their own voice. The advice that sticks with me the most is his most simple and straight-forward: don’t let other people talk you into giving up; only give up when you think you should. It’s good advice for anyone who’s doing something they’re passionate about – their art, a business idea, an education, a community project, even a relationship.
There will also be naysayers, and sometimes those naysayers will be people close to us who care about us and our future. They will tell us how to spend our time, what skills to work on, where to live, go to school, and whom to be with. Ultimately, the only opinion about our lives that really matters is ours because we’re the ones we have to wake up with everyday, no matter what. If you can’t live with yourself and your choices, then it really doesn’t matter if anyone else can. You only get one crack at being you – make sure it’s done on your terms.
The Half King has a great slate of events that happen every Monday night. Check out the schedule and sign up for their email at http://www.thehalfking.com/
Published by Christa Avampato
The short of it:
Writer. Health, education, and art advocate. Theater and film producer. Visual artist. Product geek. Proud alumnae of the University of Pennsylvania (BA) and the Darden School of Business at the University of Virginia (MBA). Inspired by ancient wisdom & modern tech. Proliferator of goodness. Opener of doors. Friend to animals. Fan of creative work in all its wondrous forms. I use my business skills to create passion projects that build a better world. I’ve been called the happiest New Yorker, and I try hard to live up to that title every day.
The long of it:
My career has stretched across Capitol Hill, Broadway theatre, education, nonprofit fundraising, health and wellness, and Fortune 500 companies in retail, media, entertainment, technology, and financial services. I’ve been a product developer and product manager, theater manager, strategic consultant, marketer, voice over artist, , teacher, and fundraiser. I use my business and storytelling to support and sustain passion projects that build a better world. In every experience, I’ve used my sense of and respect for elegant design to develop meaningful products, services, programs, and events.
While building a business career, I also built a strong portfolio as a journalist, novelist, freelance writer, interviewer, presenter, and public speaker. My writing has appeared in The Washington Post, The Huffington Post, PBS.org, Boston.com, Royal Media Partners publications, and The Motley Fool on a wide range of topics including business, technology, science, health, education, culture, and lifestyle. I have also been an invited speaker at SXSW, Teach for America, Avon headquarters, Games for Change, NYU, Columbia University, Hunter College, and the Alzheimer’s Foundation of America. The first book in my young adult book series, Emerson Page and Where the Light Enters, was acquired by a publisher and launched in November 2017. I’m currently working on the second book in the series.
A recovering multi-tasker, I’m equally at home in front of my Mac, on my yoga mat, walking my rescue dog, Phineas, traveling with a purpose, or practicing the high-art of people watching. I also cut up small bits of paper and put them back together as a collage artist.
My company:
I’m bringing together all of my business and creative career paths as the Founder of Double or Nothing Media:
• I craft products, programs, and projects that make a difference;
• I build the business plans that make what I craft financially sustainable;
• I tell the stories that matter about the people, places, and products that inspire me.
Follow my adventures on Twitter at https://twitter.com/christanyc and Instagram at https://instagram.com/christarosenyc.
View all posts by Christa Avampato
I went to The Half King (one of the last great New York literary bars) last night to hear the author Tom Grimes talk about his new book Mentor: A Memoir. The book discusses Grime’s relationship with Frank Conroy, his mentor and friend whom he met at the Iowa Writer’s Workshop when Grimes was a graduate student at Iowa. Grimes explained how the book came about from a magazine assignment gone wrong. An editor had asked him to write a piece on Conroy’s work and instead the piece morphed into an exploration of Grime’s mentor relationship with Conroy. While not what the magazine editor asked for, the editor encouraged him to keep going and 8 months later Grimes had a book he never intended to write. 
Christa Avampato 
I’ve got this one on my “to-be-read” shelf, awaiting a trip across country I have coming up in a few weeks. I read and really enjoyed the first chapter. High expectations.
Here is an author interview with Grimes you might enjoy:
http://richardgilbert.wordpress.com/2010/08/11/interview-tom-grimes-on-%e2%80%98mentor%e2%80%99-three-act-structure-language-as-bedrock/
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This is great, Tim. Thank you so much for this link. I will check it out!
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Christa,
I really like your blog and I enjoyed your take on last night’s reading. I also admire the fact that you’ve processed and posted your thoughts and provided links to Half King. And I welcome reading another view of last night’s event at Half King.
Here’s where I disagree with your assessment:
1. The Half King is great with one enormous caveat. They almost never invite women to read at this “great literary bar.”
2. I go to their readings whenever I can and often buy the books and include them in my weekly book review column. Last night was not enjoyable for me or my mate. Tom Grimes’s form of humility (mentioned above) is a lesson on why humility must be carefully considered. It’s a choice. And it’s a choice to look up, acknowledge your audience, speak to your audience, be courageous and powerful with your work so that others might enjoy and comprehend.
3. Combine that lack of desire to acknowledge one’s audience with an long chapter of mumbling about your disadvantages and hurt and anger because you are not invited to study with one of the genius teachers, among other things, and one’s humility starts to to sound false. I’m sure the book, which sounded like a recitation or a telling rather than a showing, gets better as the mentor relationship takes hold.
4. Why was the author’s wife/friend/companion looking so distressed and why was her back turned away from the speaker on more than one occasion? Why attend if you cannot put your best foot forward on behalf of your companion? Her behavior tended to reinforce that pall of ennui.
5. My companion’s remark last night: “Tom, you may be the greatest writer since Hemingway, but who would know?”
I realize how mean and critical I sound. I fess up and assure you, this is toned down out of a need to be heard. If you check out my blog (freefallrae.blogspot.com) you’ll see it’s not all dark in my world. And I’ve taken important lessons away from last night. I promise myself I will work harder at my own readings to give as much as I can to those who trek out to hear my work.
Authors who read at Half King should be coached in advance. It may be a literary bar but authors must compete with a thunderously loud drinking crowd on the other side of the wall. Authors these days must stand up for their work and represent it well. They must practice projection and articulation before an appearance at Half King. And half of all writers taking the lectern should be female.
Rae Padilla Francoeur
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Thank you for your stopping by to read my blog and to share your insights on the evening, Rae. I don’t think you sound mean and critical. I welcome differing opinions on this blog and in my life – it keeps the conversation interesting. I actually have seen a number of women present at The Half King, one in particular that stands out to me is a woman from Human Rights Watch who spoke about a year ago on issues she was investigating in Russia. A really powerful speaker who had a packed audience (standing room only and spilling out onto the sidewalk). I hope The Half King books more speakers like that.
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