Tag: past

creativity

In the pause: It’s time to put the past in context

Christa Avampato

“The past is a place of reference, not a place of residence.” ~Willie Jolley

Yesterday, I listened to an interview with Chris Whipple, author of the new book The Gatekeepers: How the White House Chiefs of Staff Define Every Presidency. The books shows that many of the former presidents made many of the same mistakes that the current administration is making and often with the exact same reasoning as past administrations. Whipple said, “Presidents learn many of the same lessons once they take office, and unfortunately almost all of them learn the hard way.”

This interview reminded me of Jolley’s quote. While we can’t live in the past, it is so important to learn from it. And that includes are own past as well as the past experiences of others. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to forge our own path; being armed with information about the paths of others can only help ease the way. This is why mentorship matters. This is why reflection matters. If we can learn from the past, we have a greater chance of building a brighter future.

creativity

In the pause: Don’t stumble over something behind you

Christa Avampato

“Don’t stumble over something behind you.” ~Seneca

Whenever I’m faced with something disappointing, I feel is deeply and and immediately. I strip out that phase of denial and move right into grief. While grief is a painful, my willingness to feel every ounce of it jumpstarts the healing process. Grief is a lens I use to refocus my energy and get clear about what I need and want. It’s not fun, but it’s necessary. The great benefit of this brutal process is that once it’s done, it’s done. I don’t look back; I let it go and move forward. I have many times in my life that I’m glad I’ll never repeat, and I’m also grateful for all of the learnings that those times held. They haveĀ given me empathy, strength, and courage, three of the things I value most.

 

creativity

In the pause: Things have to fall apart to come together

Christa Avampato

Whenever something doesn’t work out the way we planned, we can feel cheated, disappointed, and sad. But what if we could look at our new situation from a different angle? What if things not going how we planned is the best thing that ever happened to us? What if that opens the way for things to go better than we ever imagined possible? Let’s try to manifest that and see what happens. Sometimes things have to fall apart to come together.

creativity

In the pause: Reflections on my college years at Penn from an Amtrak train

Christa Avampato

I recently took an Amtrak train up to New York for a long weekend. I love the train for many reasons, especially because it gives me a chance to roll past my alma mater – the University of Pennsylvania. I always get a little teary eyed. Those years were hard for me. I learned a lot. Struggled a lot. Grew a lot. And growth is often painful. It’s uncomfortable to become something. It’s scary and difficult. And yet, it must be done. To become the people we’re meant to be, we have to grow and evolve. We need to learn hard, painful lessons about life, about the world, and about ourselves. Sometimes I think it’s a miracle of the highest order that I even survived. Do I wear my diploma like a badge of honor? You bet I do. I earned every letter of that sucker and then some. I wouldn’t want to do it over again, and yet I’m grateful for it. It taught me to stare into the fire and smile instead of flinch. And that kind of strength is invaluable. It erases fear.

creativity

In the pause: Not getting what we want can be what we need

Christa Avampato

Sometimes not getting what we want is exactly what we need. Last year, I almost bought a home in D.C. Three times. Each of the deals fell through for different reasons. After the outcome of the Presidential election and the uncertainty in the future, I couldn’t be happier that I didn’t get what I wanted even though I felt defeated each time. Those momentary disappointments turned out to be incredible gifts that I didn’t yet understand. If you’re currently facing disappointment, and wondering why what’s happening is happening, I hope my home-buying situation is a comfort to you. Rest assured that eventually it will all make sense; the universe protects us in ways we can’t even imagine.

 

creativity

Wonder: What I wish I could tell my 20-year-old self

Christa Avampato

On Saturday, my friend, Chris, and I went to look at a house I’m interested in buying. We were sitting on the porch waiting for my wonderful agent, Yo-G, to arrive to show us the house. Chris and I grew up in a similar socioeconomic situation and we started talking about how lucky we both are. Our educations literally saved our lives, and the road wasn’t easy but it was worth it. For me to even sit on that porch with the possibility of making an offer on it is a dream come true. I feel the same way when I go out to eat, take a trip, or even pay my monthly bills. While it sounds simple, I’m glad I’m able to do all of that and still save for my future. For so long, that felt out of reach.

I wish I could go back and tell my 20-year-old self that everything’s going to be fine, that eventually after a lot of hard work and hardship life would get easier, less stressful, and be fulfilling in so many ways. I wish I could save her the sleepless nights, constant worries, deep depression, and intense fear that plagued so much of her college years into her 20s and 30s. I guess that’s why I’m so intent now on mentoring and helping young people. I can’t go back and save myself that stress, but I can help others who are on the same path. I can let them know that with determination they will be ale to build a life they love. And the difficult path certainly has an upside – it made me so grateful for what I have today. Ā I’m glad I got to see the world from my view now, and I’m intent on taking other people with me while I rise.

creativity

Wonder: Finding your way forward thanks to Edward Albee

Christa Avampato

“Sometimes it’s necessary to go a long distance out-of-the-way in order to come back a short distance correctly.” ~Edward Albee

Yesterday when I learned about the playwright Edward Albee’s passing, this is the first quote of his that came to my mind. Maybe you feel like you’ve taken a step back on some area of your life. Maybe you’re frustrated because you don’t think you’re making the progress you’d like to make. I understand. I’ve been there so many times. And I can tell you this: life often takes us the long way around because it has something to teach us that we can only learn by taking a journey. The only way I’ve found to survive this without losing my mind is to make every effort to learn as much as I can wherever I am. That perspective has made all the difference for me, and I hope it will for you, too. And Mr. Albee, thank you for teaching all of us about finding our path, boldly, bravely, and honestly.

creativity

Wonder: 71-year-old ballerina at Royal Academy of Dance proves it’s never too late to make a dream come true

Christa Avampato

Doreen PecheyĀ just proved to the world that it’s never too late for any dream to come true. As a child, she loved the ballet and would save up her money to attend performances. Her family didn’t have enough money to pay for lessons nor for the costumes needed to perform.Ā At age 71, she just passed the Grade 6 exam at the Royal Academy of Dance, a record for the company. She started taking lessons 10 years ago at age 61 and continued with her training despite having knee replacement surgery two years ago. We no longer have age as an excuse to let go of a dream. With effort, determination, and love everything is possible. So dust off those childhood dreams. It’s time to make them happen.

creativity

Wonder: Why I decided to become a charter member of the National Museum of African American History and Culture

Christa Avampato

“Why would you do that? You’re not black.” This is what someone said to me when I told them I made a donation to the National Museum of African American History and Culture. Thanks to Lonnie Bunch, the foundingĀ director of the museum, I had an answer. I made a donation because the history that it commemorates and celebrates is America’s story.In history, we are all united, and that’s how I’d like us to be in the world, too. If you make a donation of any size today, Hyundai will match your donation dollar for dollar up to $500,000 as part of the museum’s campaign called Giving Day.

The museum’sĀ stories can teach something toĀ everyone who takes the time to listen to them. Some of the lessons are horrible and painful, and some of them are joyful and inspiring. That’s lifeā€”it’s beautiful and terrible in equal amounts. I am humbled by what the staff members of the museum, and so many others who came before them, have done to assemble this treasure of a museum in the city that I now proudly call home. I can’t wait to see it and I’m so glad to be able to support its message of hope. It’s a message we all need.Ā #GiveNMAAHC

creativity

Wonder: When we fall, we have the chance to rise (eventually)

Christa Avampato

It’s okay to fall apart; it’s the only way we can make ourselves whole again. This weekendĀ I was talking to a close friend who’s been having a tough time. I can absolutely relate.Ā There’s a desire to be positive, to see the silver lining, and be grateful for what our misfortunes give us. There’s also an equally strong desire to yell, break things, and act on the frustration. At times, we can feel completely insane and off-balance when we’re in this cycle. It’s okay to feel that way; I certainly have. We have a right to feel all of our feelings, and no one (and I mean no one!) has a right to tell you not to feel the way you do.

There are several points in my life when I’ve felt this way. It’s downright painful and frightening. You feel like you’re losing it. I’ve been in that position, and I’ve also been in that position when I felt completely and totally alone. So here’s a promise I make to every friend I haveā€”with me, you can lose it. Cry, yell, get out whatever thoughts and feelings you need to release. I’m not going to judge you. Not at all. We’ve got to do more for each other to create that safe space. The world will be better off if we can stop putting on a brave face and keeping up appearances. Sometimes, things are just awful and it’s healthy to recognize that. Yes, you’ve eventually got to move on and that can only happenĀ if you can first feel every awful thing you need to feel. We rise, eventually, by first allowing ourselves to fall.