I tell wonder-filled stories about hope and healing
This weekend, I saw my dear friends Ken and Tom get married, surrounded by other dear friends and family who love them as much as I do. In a time in our world that is so scary and uncertain, this weekend was a reminder of how much goodness there is in the world. I’m so happy that we could live and support the idea that “Love is love is love is love is love is love” this weekend. So inspiring. Love is everything.
“If you really want to be a rebel, practice kindness.” ~Sharon Salzberg
Love in the face of hate. Smile at anger. Stubbornly seek joy, especially during times that seem so dark. Rise when someone tries to keep you down. And be determined to make your time, however much you have, meaningful. That’s what it means to be a rebel.
This week I was comforted, as I often am, by the words of Winnie-the-Pooh by A.A. Milne. “How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.”
My family faced a sad loss on Tuesday. Our dear family friend, appropriately named Faith, passed away. At the incredible age of nearly 85, she lived a happy, fulfilling life of service. I was lucky to know her and she remains one of the kindest people I’ve known.
She was there for all of the milestones in my childhood, the good and the difficult. Birthdays, Sunday dinners, graduations. Her smiling face was there, camera in-hand to capture it all. She was a constant source of love and support. I think of her as one of my many aunties who helped me realize what kind of life I could have if I worked hard and was good to others. She instilled in me the sense that I mattered, and what I thought and felt and did was valued and valid.
When I heard she passed away this week, I was so sad. I felt a little light go out, but it was only a blip because immediately I felt that same light reignite, brighter and warmer than ever before. I’m sad that she’s gone from this plane and I’m so glad that she crossed over to a place free of pain and discomfort. I’ll see her on the other side, eventually, a long time from now. And I am as grateful for that as I am to have known her in this lifetime. RIL – Rest in Love.
“There is nothing more truly artistic than to love people.” ~Vincent van Gogh
Taking care of people is the most noble work we can do. It takes effort and energy, and I’ve always found it be my favorite work in my personal and professional life. I’m beyond lucky to have so many people from so many areas of my life who mean the world to me. They’re my greatest gifts, and every day I’m grateful for them. They make this whole wild ride of life worthwhile.
“If you sense there must be more, there is more.” ~Alan Cohen
Have you ever thought this: “Is this all there is?” This has happened to me, oh, maybe several hundred times in my life. Maybe thousands. At some point, it happened so often that I just lost count.
And here was my second thought every time: “Of course there’s more out there. Go find it.” And I don’t mean more as in more money, notoriety, or some other superficial possession. I mean more in terms of inspiration, better health, more happiness, peace, love, joy, passion, knowledge, adventure, and all the good things that make life worth living.
I didn’t always know where to find it or how to get it. I had to work hard for it. I had to make difficult choices. I had to take the long view. I had to go through hard times and plenty of uncertainty to find the good stuff. But I did find it, always, eventually, in spades. And I’m grateful for it every day, every time.
There are more of these things for you, too. For all of us. And I want us to be brave enough to go out there into the world and get them and share them. In 2016, let’s do that, okay? Okay.
I was and still am a big fan of Andy Rooney’s essays. The quintessential curmudgeon, he was honest, funny, and poignant all in the same breath. Here is an essay of his that’s always been one of my favorites.
I’ve Learned
I went to Sixth & I last night to see Linda Holmes interview Joseph Fink and Jeffrey Cranor, the creators of the podcast and new novel, Welcome to Night Vale. Night Vale is a small southwestern town where every conspiracy theory is true. There’s much you can read about the podcast – how it was started by two theater artists in a Brooklyn apartment, that there were only 52 downloads in the first month, and that the creators are flat-out shocked by the success of this off-beat, quirky, and confounding story that’s filled with equal amounts of tenderness and weirdness.
What you haven’t heard, because it has to be experienced, is the overwhelming joy that the loyal fans feel toward this story, these characters, this town, and its creators. The cheers and applause never stopped at the event last night. The laughter literally rang through the rafters of Sixth & I, the warmth between the audience and the authors was palpable, and I’ll never forget it. This is what story told with authenticity and love can do. This is what happens when we build from the heart and not for the wallet. (Night Vale refuses to take money from advertising and instead relies on donations, merchandise sales, and revenue from live shows.) It’s an example of how art done right has a powerful impact on the soul. All of it makes me happy.
I’ve been in D.C. for 8 months now and people often ask me if I miss New York City. My answer: hell yes! I miss it every day. I miss the beat, the relentless creativity, and the constant push to reinvent. I came of age in New York City and my many years of living there got inside my bones. It will be with me always, everywhere I go. And once I realized that, I was free to go. I carry New York City with me, and that confidence allowed me to stretch my wings, take everything I learned there, and head out on a new adventure in a new city. I love going back to the motherland. I’ll always love going back there. The place is insane, and I accept it exactly as it is and exactly as it will be, flaws and glories and all. New York made me tough, and it also made me extraordinarily curious, empathic, and hopeful. Those are gifts that keep on giving.
I can close my eyes and go back to New York in an instant. I can sit down at my computer, drop a character into the middle of it all, and watch with rapture to see what unfolds in my writing. From my new home in D.C., I can be there in about 3 hours on a comfy Amtrak train. It’s not so far away, and it’s not going anywhere. Sure, it’s different every time I go back and each trip is filled with discovery and learning. That’s the point of New York. It’s meant to break you out of your routine. It means to throw you off-balance and help you understand that you’re strong and that you can recover from anything, literally anything. It’ll break you, and then show you that being broken has its benefits and rewards. Being broken, and broke, isn’t the worst thing in the world. Just keep looking up. There’s a will and a way and if you keep looking for it, you’ll find it. After all, you can find anything at any time in New York – and that includes healing, dreams, and a sense of purpose.
New York is a rabbit hole to the extreme, and I’m happy to tumble down it every chance I get. I don’t have to live in Wonderland to love it. I know I can pop in for my fix, let it go, and know that it will welcome me back any time that I want to be there. It’s a perpetual open door that doesn’t require an invitation. That’s what a home is and what a home does, and New York will always be home for me in the truest sense of the word.
El Dia de los Muertos, a significant holiday for Mexico, begins today. The Day of the Dead is a celebration steeped in history. People who celebrate it construct altars to make offerings to their loved ones who have passed on. (This photo was taken at a cemetery celebration in Mexico.) As someone who believes that death is a crossing over to the other side and not a permanent loss, this holiday has always resonated with me. One year I’d love to go to Mexico to see it in action. For now, I celebrate it from afar.
Today take some time to remember those who have started the next leg of their journey and will show us the way when our time arrives.
“There is a subtle truth. Whatever you love, you are.” ~Rumi
Stuff your life with the people and things that light you up. Art, music, food, travel, stories. Make room for it. Pitch the things and people in your life that don’t add to it so that you have space for what matters most. In time, we become what we see, hear, and feel. The life we build around us is the life that seeps into us so make sure it’s the you want on your own terms.
Christa Avampato 