Tag: courage

creativity

Wonder: Finding your way forward thanks to Edward Albee

Christa Avampato

“Sometimes it’s necessary to go a long distance out-of-the-way in order to come back a short distance correctly.” ~Edward Albee

Yesterday when I learned about the playwright Edward Albee’s passing, this is the first quote of his that came to my mind. Maybe you feel like you’ve taken a step back on some area of your life. Maybe you’re frustrated because you don’t think you’re making the progress you’d like to make. I understand. I’ve been there so many times. And I can tell you this: life often takes us the long way around because it has something to teach us that we can only learn by taking a journey. The only way I’ve found to survive this without losing my mind is to make every effort to learn as much as I can wherever I am. That perspective has made all the difference for me, and I hope it will for you, too. And Mr. Albee, thank you for teaching all of us about finding our path, boldly, bravely, and honestly.

creativity

Wonder: Lee Stroy made 3 strokes a gift

Christa Avampato

Last month, I had the great privilege to meet Lee Stroy, a father of five who is my age and a walking medical miracle. In one week, Lee had three strokes and has now made it his mission to tell his story in an effort to educate others about stroke through his nonprofit Counterstroke. His story is one of the most inspiring I have ever been given the great gift to share with others. Read the piece I wrote about Lee for The Washington Post by clicking here and learn more about Lee on his website for Counterstroke.

creativity

Wonder: Dealing with adult bullies

Christa Avampato

Bullies in the classroom and on the playground grow up to be bullies at work, in politics, and in their communities. And dealing with these unfortunate people, no matter what the environment, requires the same approach: you must stand up to them, strengthen your voice and resolve, and not back down. It is as painful to do as an adult as it is as a child, and we must do it. Once you stand up to them, their insecurity will cause them to lie about you and do and say anything possible to disparage you. Promise yourself to be such an amazing person that no one would believe them. Stand your ground and be your best you—that’s the only way forward. If you’re dealing with this now, let me tell you a story.

When I started working at a financial services company in 2008, my Director and VP were pretty awful people. 14 months after my start date, I found another job at the same company in a completely different division with great people. The work was interesting and the role was a coveted one. My Director and VP were furious that I had gotten another job without their help and after they had done everything possible to prevent me from moving on to a new role. They were bullies and because I worked hard, spoke my mind, and did well despite their poor leadership, they continued to speak badly about me even after I left my role on their team. I moved on and never looked back.

Within a handful of months, they were both managed out of the company (a nice of way of saying they were fired). Shortly after that, my old VP reached out to me on LinkedIn. He had started a consulting practice and wanted to know if I could introduce him to my new VP in the hopes of getting a contract with my new team. He wanted to work for me after treating me so badly! It was shocking.

I ignored the message and never responded. To a bully, silence is deafening. Dismissing them without a second thought is intolerable. And in my eyes, that is exactly how he deserved to feel after his bullying—intolerable. It was a satisfying moment to hit delete. I fired him from my career and my life. I never heard from him again.

I recently faced a very similar situation and I’ve decided to deal with it exactly the same way. I’ve moved on and focused my attention on my new role with a great boss, talented team, and fascinating work. I’m not looking back nor listening to the noise and toxicity that I left behind. My future is ahead of me, not behind me.

 

creativity

Wonder: It’s just the wind and shadows

Christa Avampato

This is a story for all of you who are on the cusp of the unknown: maybe you’re starting a new job or leaving an old job, starting a relationship or leaving one, moving to a new city or home, or embarking on a new project of some kind.

My boss is reading The Winnie the Pooh collection of stories to her daughter. In one story called “Don’t Be Scared, Piglet and Roo!”, Piglet and Roo, two of the smallest characters in the cast, hear scary noises and see scary shapes at night. Her daughter has read this story many times and as soon as Piglet and Roo show signs of being scared, her daughter calls out “Don’t worry, it’s just the wind and shadows!” And it is. And eventually Piglet and Roo learn that. When boss was telling me that story, I thought about how often our minds go to that place, how often we’re afraid of things that we don’t need to be afraid of. It is the perfect metaphor for being afraid of the unknown.

Don’t be afraid. Let’s go out into the unknown together, support one another, and see what we find. The wind and shadows won’t be so scary as long as we aren’t alone in our journey.

creativity

Wonder: It’s time to rise. And bring others with you.

Christa Avampato

It is easier to sit down and than it is to stand up. It is easier to stew in anger than it is to rise up in action. It is easier to reveal how we feel behind closed doors than it is to make our ideas public. It is easier to be consumed by a problem rather than seeking a solution. But doing nothing, or worse, complying with what we know is wrong, doesn’t serve anyone. We have to stand up for ourselves and for others. We have to encourage others to do the same.

creativity

Wonder: Make your time matter

Christa Avampato

God willing, I’m not at mid-life yet but the truth is I’ve almost died a handful of times. On a few of those occasions, I barely scraped by. And maybe that’s why I am so driven and impatient. Maybe that’s why I abhor wasting time. Maybe that’s why I am utterly incapable of sitting down longer than 18 minutes a day to meditate. Sometimes, I think this makes me a complete lunatic. And then I read quotes like the one below from Brené Brown, and I realize that yes, I may be crazy, but there’s a method to and a reason for the madness. And it’s all okay. I’m just trying to make my life meaningful and to make my time matter.

”I think midlife is when the universe gently places her hands upon your shoulders, pulls you close, and whispers in your ear: I’m not screwing around. It’s time. All of this pretending and performing – these coping mechanisms that you’ve developed to protect yourself from feeling inadequate and getting hurt – has to go.

Your armor is preventing you from growing into your gifts. I understand that you needed these protections when you were small. I understand that you believed your armor could help you secure all of the things you needed to feel worthy of love and belonging, but you’re still searching and you’re more lost than ever.

Time is growing short. There are unexplored adventures ahead of you. You can’t live the rest of your life worried about what other people think. You were born worthy of love and belonging. Courage and daring are coursing through you. You were made to live and love with your whole heart. It’s time to show up and be seen.”

~Brené Brown

creativity

Wonder: Manifest what you need

Christa Avampato

Recently, I’ve had some pretty remarkable reminders that we can attract and create what we need. Even if it seems improbable or impossible, somehow once we decide we are ready for something to happen, the way opens. Our state of mind is especially important during difficult times, when all seems lost, when it seems that nothing we do will make things better. It’s times like these that I stop. I regroup. I let my mind and body relax. I breathe. I let go.

And then something rises up – an idea, an image, some untapped source of strength I didn’t even know was there. Just when I’m as down as I think I can be, I find myself floating back up to the surface. Life’s like that. A wave, a roller coaster, a trip with plenty of winding roads.

Maybe you’re in this cycle right now. Maybe something difficult or sad or disappointing happened. Maybe you’re worried, confused, or unsure. Close your eyes and imagine the best possible outcome. Imagine leading yourself out of your situation today and into a brighter tomorrow. Believe that it will get better and when you open your eyes, work hard to make it so. You can do this.

creativity

Wonder: Telling stories takes you back in time

Christa Avampato

I’m working on a piece of writing for my dear friend, Amanda. She’s the best editor I’ve ever worked with, bar none. Whenever she asks me to write something for her, I jump at the chance every time. This particular assignment involved traveling back in time to the dark days of September 2008 when the world, my career, and my life was turned upside down by a frightening, unprecedented economic recession. I was working for a financial institution, an industry I swore I’d never join, and I was, in a word, terrified.

Rather than cower and hide, I rose up. To this day, I’m not sure where I found the strength. I guess the fear of losing my job and my livelihood was adrenalin for me. I took that energy that gets wasted by fear and used it to drive me forward, headfirst, right into the abyss of the unknown. I still shiver thinking about it. And then I smile. Time travel is a wild ride. We are so much stronger than we think we are.

creativity

Wonder: The two choices we have in every moment

Christa Avampato

“In any given moment we have two options: to step forward into growth or to step back into safety.” ~Abraham Maslow

I’ve been thinking about this quote a lot lately. It seems that the older I get, the more often I have to make this choice. I’m about to enter my fearless 40s so there will be nothing but stepping forward for me. I’m sure this is going to make my life more challenging, and I’m also convinced that it’s going to make it more exciting and more rewarding in every way. No turning back now.

creativity

This just in: The gut never lies

Christa Avampato
Trust your gut
Trust your gut

Have you ever been around someone who makes you feel a certain way, even when you can’t quite put your finger on why? This feeling can be positive or negative, brought about by being with someone or even just thinking about him or her. Trust that feeling, whatever it is. The gut, the seat of all of your psychic energy and intuition, never lies. The head won’t understand. The heart surely won’t understand. But you must trust and embrace that gut feeling, even if there’s no way to explain why. The “why” doesn’t matter. Just the fact that it exists is enough of a reason to follow its advice.