creativity

In the pause: The surprising truth about pursuing our goals

Christa Avampato
My friend, Alex, sent this quote to me and it resonates with me so deeply. This idea is what prompted my move back to New York City and this change in career direction. I could have kept moving ahead on a corporate path. I could have continued to climb in title and compensation. Except that I really couldn’t do that and be true to myself. I have turned down jobs and projects not because I couldn’t do them but because they weren’t rooted in how I want to spend my time. This is a tough thing to do.
 
We tell ourselves all of the convenient reasons we need to keep doing what we’ve been doing even though it may not be what fires us up. It makes today easier at the expense of our tomorrows. What I’m doing is making my today more challenging because I want my tomorrows to be more fulfilling. It’s all a gamble. I don’t know how it’s going to go but here’s what I do know—if I didn’t follow this path I’m on now, I’d always wonder what might have been. And I didn’t want to wonder; I wanted to take my best shot and manage whatever happens next. It may not be the best choice for everyone, but it’s certainly the best choice for me.
creativity

In the pause: Soothing a worrying mind

Christa Avampato

I’m so glad to be home, so excited for what’s next. And I’m not going to lie—I’m a little nervous, too. The second I solve one challenge or put one more concern to rest, another one is waiting in the wings and immediately steps into the spotlight of my attention. It’s moving, it’s job searching, it’s getting Phineas healthy and settled, and it’s the personal and professional to-do lists that never seem to end. None of this is bad at all; it’s just stuff that needs doing and I’m the one who need to do the doing.

Mine is a naturally worrying mind. I do my best to stay focused and composed though those pesky concerns are persistent little buggers. And unfortunately, if I can’t find a good one, I invent one. You know, just to get ahead of things! I don’t procrastinate well. I’m just not built for it; I often wish I was but it’s not my nature.

I was talking to my friend, Alex, and she reminded me about all of those posts we read when someone gives advice to their younger self. And they all say some variety of “Stop worrying. It’s going to be okay.” I try to imagine my older self telling myself today the same thing.

If like me you can’t stop worrying at least put the worries over there, way over there, so you can keep moving forward. I take a long walk. I take a deep breath. I remind myself of all of the difficult things I’ve done before, all of the trying circumstances I’ve survived. And that helps. Staying calm in the face of challenges is difficult, and it’s the only way to get through them. And get through them, we will.

creativity

In the pause: Comey, Hamlet, and our individual tomorrows

Christa Avampato

“We know what we are, but not what we may become.” ~William Shakespeare, Hamlet

As I watched the James Comey hearing yesterday, I kept thinking about this quote from Hamlet. Mr. Comey’s testimony showed that he always does what he thinks is the right thing to do given the information he has. He’s a man who sticks to his principles even when he knows he will pay a personal price for following them. He stands for something and therefore falls for nothing. He cares much more about the truth and the law than he does about politics and power. And in Washington, sadly, that is a difficult thing to do. He’s paid the price personally and professionally, and still stands by his decisions. That’s something to be admired, even though I don’t agree with his choices.

Nearly 7 months to the day, Comey transformed from being the person who single-handedly altered the outcome of the Presidential election to someone who may render the Trump presidency one of the shortest in history. It’s unclear if any of that will come to pass, but it made me think about our sense of identity, purpose, and perception.

What we do and who we are right now doesn’t predict who we’ll become or what we’ll be doing tomorrow. One minute, Mr. Comey was the Director of the FBI and arguably one of the most powerful people in the world. With the stroke of a pen, he was returned to private life and sat before a Senate committee to tell the world he didn’t trust the President’s intent and questioned his sense of judgement. All within 7 months. That’s a remarkable about-face to make in his career and in his life.

What I keep coming back to is his conviction and his refusal to do anything less than protect his country in the best way he could. If that meant being fired, then so be it. If that meant enduring endless scrutiny by the public, politicians, and the press, then bring it on. It takes courage to live today so authentically that it may drastically alter our tomorrow. Mr. Comey showed us it can, and must, be done.

creativity

In the pause: What I’m doing in New York

Christa Avampato

“What are you going to do in New York?”

It’s a logical question when you move to a new city. My neat and tidy answer catches people off guard: love every minute of my life. Someone cracked me up yesterday when they responded, “No, really. What are you going to do here?” My answer stands.

I do have some more specific answers for more specific questions. For work? I’m looking at many avenues that bring together my passions and my talents. For love? I’m dating. For my writing? I’m promoting my first novel, writing the prequel chapter by chapter, writing my second novel that is the next in the series about Emerson Page, and pursuing freelance nonfiction writing. For fun? Phineas and I will be enjoying our long walks in the park. I’ll be spending time with my wonderful friends here, and making new ones. I’ll be at the theater, in the museums, listening to live music, creating art, and following every interest I have. I’m hoping to teach writing classes, mentor young people, and volunteer in my community. I’m going to try to learn to play a real song on the piano.

Anything can happen here in New York City, and it often does. While the city has a reputation for making people hard and tough, I think it’s much easier, and more enjoyable, to be a little soft. People can be gruff and self-absorbed. You have to stand up for yourself and then shrug it off. This city moves fast and carefully crafted plans have a way of disintegrating at the most inopportune times. Flexibility is key. If your dream today doesn’t work out, tomorrow you’ll have a new one. That long night of disappointment in-between is a tough thing to endure but you have to endure and persist and be determined to keep rising in spite of it all. New York is a tall order, and it’s the only one that really fits me.

creativity

In the pause: A magical New York City beginning

Christa Avampato

The move into New York City was a pretty magical day. As stressful as these past few months have been, there were so many incredible moments in this move when I felt everything going in the direction I needed. I had fantastic movers. The ride up was perfect without an ounce of traffic. Phineas was an angel traveler. My friends Moya and Dan helped me get the contents of my packed car into my apartment. The super, manager, and neighbors in my new building have all been lovely. Within our first 30 minutes in the neighborhood, I met Vinny, a man who lives just a few doors down who runs a doggie daycare and dog walking service out of his garden apartment. (Phin loved him immediately!) Now my internet is humming along thanks to insanely good customer service from Time Warner, and I’m getting my handful of belongings in place while I wait for the rest of my things to arrive in the next few days.

In the meantime, Phin and I are taking in the park and visiting all of our old haunts in our neighborhood. It feels good to be home.

creativity

In the pause: The magical combination that brings success

Christa Avampato

What if we could think about life from a place of abundance instead of a place of scarcity? What if we could see not getting what we want as a way of making room for something even better?

When I was first looking for a new apartment, I was approaching the process from a place of lack—time was running out on my existing lease, the vacancy rate in New York City is very low, and I was sad and disappointed about being priced out of my old neighborhood.

I was sulking around that old neighborhood on my trip there, feeling so at home and wishing that something there would work out with little hope of that happening. And then after a bit more searching, it materialized. From there, everything else fell into place as long as I kept working to make it so.

Working hard and having a positive mindset is a magical combination. We need both, not just one or the other. My luck turned around once I decided to not be discouraged. Instead I decided that whenever something difficult happened, I’d double down and figure out the next best plan.

As I make this next transition, I will try to hang onto that lesson. It’s tough to do in the moment, but I will make sure to post reminders around my new home so that every day I’ll be reminded to keep my head high, my eyes focused forward, and my sleeves rolled up.

creativity

In the pause: Chapter 1 of the prequel to my novel is arriving in inboxes right now

Christa Avampato

I’m so excited to announce that Chapter 1 of the prequel to my novel, Emerson Page and Where the Light Enters, is arriving in inboxes at this very moment. I created it to send as a free gift to everyone who signs up for my mailing list. I’ll deliver a new chapter on the first of every month between now and October as we lead up to the launch of the book on November 1st. The only way to get the prequel is to sign up for the mailing list.

Each chapter will be told in the first-person and from the perspective of a different main character. All of the chapters take place on the same day so readers will be able to see this critical event in the book from many different angles.

Chapter 1 is a diary entry from the perspective of Nora Page, Emerson’s mother, as she makes the decision that will change Emerson’s life forever. Simply sign up for my mailing list and I’ll send it right over to you!

creativity

In the pause: When your dream calls, answer

Christa Avampato

“I’d have to be at the interview in two days! What do I do?”

This is what a friend of mine said to me yesterday. She called because a dream job she applied for contacted her. The dilemma? She’d have to buy a flight and be in New York City for an interview in 36 hours. My response? Get on a plane, go to New York, and get that job. Take your shot.

We all have dreams. I want us all to chase them down like the badasses we are and bring them to life. There’s no right time. The world isn’t interested in what’s convenient for us. If we want something, we have to go get it. Now.

Time isn’t ours to waste; it’s ours to use. So use it. Wisely. Passionately. Completely. Create the life you want.

creativity

In the pause: When stress arrives, take the long view

Christa Avampato

“Three months ago, things seemed a little bleak. But to be honest, everything worked out in the best way possible.”

I said this to my friend, Ria, this weekend. She stopped me and said, “Christa, that’s what always happens to you. And I’m saying this to you, making sure you know and understand that whenever you hit tough times, it does work out. So don’t freak out. It is always going to be okay. Okay?”

A couple of days ago, I mentioned that I was stressed about my move. How was I going to see all my friends before I go? How was I going to get this place packed up? Which movers could meet my timeline for a good price? (To be fair, a few were a little annoyed with me that my timeline is rather tight, but hey, that’s finding an apartment in New York City. It’s a just-in-time market!)

Today, I got a quote for half of what I thought it would be. I am able to rent a small SUV to drive some things up to DC myself for nearly the same price as a compact car. My building in D.C. can accommodate my move date and my building in New York is very relaxed about move-ins (and doesn’t charge a fee either!) It really is all going to be okay. Really.

Yes, I have work to do. A lot of sorting, packing, and cleaning. I’m going to get to spend time with friends here in D.C. before I go. Dinners, happy hours, coffees, and walks. And then I’ll drive up to New York with little Phin. We’ll move into our new place and it will all be fine. Everything will be better than fine.

In the moment, it can be difficult to remember to keep a longer perspective. What’s right in front of it feel so urgent and pressing. And it is, but we’ll get through it the way we always get through it: one step, one moment at a time.

creativity

In the pause: There’s only one way to get through challenges

Christa Avampato

Moving brings up all kinds of fears and concerns. I’ve been facing a few this week: comparing quotes from movers, worrying about the actual packing, saying “see you soon” to friends I’ve gotten used to seeing all the time, and renting a car and packing it up to make the trek back to New York. Every time I would cross something off my list, I’d find that there were two more to-do items to replace it. I started to get nervous that I wouldn’t get everything done in time, that something would make my move impossible. It was keeping me awake and making my mind fuzzy.

I got home last night and took a deep breath. I’ve been here before, many times and not that long ago. If there’s one thing I know how to do, it’s move and begin again. And if something does come up, some wrinkle in my plan, I’ll invoke my favorite mantra: “I’ve got this and I’ll handle it.” The only way out is through.