creativity

In the pause: Soothing a worrying mind

I’m so glad to be home, so excited for what’s next. And I’m not going to lie—I’m a little nervous, too. The second I solve one challenge or put one more concern to rest, another one is waiting in the wings and immediately steps into the spotlight of my attention. It’s moving, it’s job searching, it’s getting Phineas healthy and settled, and it’s the personal and professional to-do lists that never seem to end. None of this is bad at all; it’s just stuff that needs doing and I’m the one who need to do the doing.

Mine is a naturally worrying mind. I do my best to stay focused and composed though those pesky concerns are persistent little buggers. And unfortunately, if I can’t find a good one, I invent one. You know, just to get ahead of things! I don’t procrastinate well. I’m just not built for it; I often wish I was but it’s not my nature.

I was talking to my friend, Alex, and she reminded me about all of those posts we read when someone gives advice to their younger self. And they all say some variety of “Stop worrying. It’s going to be okay.” I try to imagine my older self telling myself today the same thing.

If like me you can’t stop worrying at least put the worries over there, way over there, so you can keep moving forward. I take a long walk. I take a deep breath. I remind myself of all of the difficult things I’ve done before, all of the trying circumstances I’ve survived. And that helps. Staying calm in the face of challenges is difficult, and it’s the only way to get through them. And get through them, we will.

creativity

In the pause: Comey, Hamlet, and our individual tomorrows

“We know what we are, but not what we may become.” ~William Shakespeare, Hamlet

As I watched the James Comey hearing yesterday, I kept thinking about this quote from Hamlet. Mr. Comey’s testimony showed that he always does what he thinks is the right thing to do given the information he has. He’s a man who sticks to his principles even when he knows he will pay a personal price for following them. He stands for something and therefore falls for nothing. He cares much more about the truth and the law than he does about politics and power. And in Washington, sadly, that is a difficult thing to do. He’s paid the price personally and professionally, and still stands by his decisions. That’s something to be admired, even though I don’t agree with his choices.

Nearly 7 months to the day, Comey transformed from being the person who single-handedly altered the outcome of the Presidential election to someone who may render the Trump presidency one of the shortest in history. It’s unclear if any of that will come to pass, but it made me think about our sense of identity, purpose, and perception.

What we do and who we are right now doesn’t predict who we’ll become or what we’ll be doing tomorrow. One minute, Mr. Comey was the Director of the FBI and arguably one of the most powerful people in the world. With the stroke of a pen, he was returned to private life and sat before a Senate committee to tell the world he didn’t trust the President’s intent and questioned his sense of judgement. All within 7 months. That’s a remarkable about-face to make in his career and in his life.

What I keep coming back to is his conviction and his refusal to do anything less than protect his country in the best way he could. If that meant being fired, then so be it. If that meant enduring endless scrutiny by the public, politicians, and the press, then bring it on. It takes courage to live today so authentically that it may drastically alter our tomorrow. Mr. Comey showed us it can, and must, be done.

creativity

In the pause: What I’m doing in New York

“What are you going to do in New York?”

It’s a logical question when you move to a new city. My neat and tidy answer catches people off guard: love every minute of my life. Someone cracked me up yesterday when they responded, “No, really. What are you going to do here?” My answer stands.

I do have some more specific answers for more specific questions. For work? I’m looking at many avenues that bring together my passions and my talents. For love? I’m dating. For my writing? I’m promoting my first novel, writing the prequel chapter by chapter, writing my second novel that is the next in the series about Emerson Page, and pursuing freelance nonfiction writing. For fun? Phineas and I will be enjoying our long walks in the park. I’ll be spending time with my wonderful friends here, and making new ones. I’ll be at the theater, in the museums, listening to live music, creating art, and following every interest I have. I’m hoping to teach writing classes, mentor young people, and volunteer in my community. I’m going to try to learn to play a real song on the piano.

Anything can happen here in New York City, and it often does. While the city has a reputation for making people hard and tough, I think it’s much easier, and more enjoyable, to be a little soft. People can be gruff and self-absorbed. You have to stand up for yourself and then shrug it off. This city moves fast and carefully crafted plans have a way of disintegrating at the most inopportune times. Flexibility is key. If your dream today doesn’t work out, tomorrow you’ll have a new one. That long night of disappointment in-between is a tough thing to endure but you have to endure and persist and be determined to keep rising in spite of it all. New York is a tall order, and it’s the only one that really fits me.

creativity

In the pause: A magical New York City beginning

The move into New York City was a pretty magical day. As stressful as these past few months have been, there were so many incredible moments in this move when I felt everything going in the direction I needed. I had fantastic movers. The ride up was perfect without an ounce of traffic. Phineas was an angel traveler. My friends Moya and Dan helped me get the contents of my packed car into my apartment. The super, manager, and neighbors in my new building have all been lovely. Within our first 30 minutes in the neighborhood, I met Vinny, a man who lives just a few doors down who runs a doggie daycare and dog walking service out of his garden apartment. (Phin loved him immediately!) Now my internet is humming along thanks to insanely good customer service from Time Warner, and I’m getting my handful of belongings in place while I wait for the rest of my things to arrive in the next few days.

In the meantime, Phin and I are taking in the park and visiting all of our old haunts in our neighborhood. It feels good to be home.

creativity

In the pause: The magical combination that brings success

What if we could think about life from a place of abundance instead of a place of scarcity? What if we could see not getting what we want as a way of making room for something even better?

When I was first looking for a new apartment, I was approaching the process from a place of lack—time was running out on my existing lease, the vacancy rate in New York City is very low, and I was sad and disappointed about being priced out of my old neighborhood.

I was sulking around that old neighborhood on my trip there, feeling so at home and wishing that something there would work out with little hope of that happening. And then after a bit more searching, it materialized. From there, everything else fell into place as long as I kept working to make it so.

Working hard and having a positive mindset is a magical combination. We need both, not just one or the other. My luck turned around once I decided to not be discouraged. Instead I decided that whenever something difficult happened, I’d double down and figure out the next best plan.

As I make this next transition, I will try to hang onto that lesson. It’s tough to do in the moment, but I will make sure to post reminders around my new home so that every day I’ll be reminded to keep my head high, my eyes focused forward, and my sleeves rolled up.

creativity

In the pause: Chapter 1 of the prequel to my novel is arriving in inboxes right now

I’m so excited to announce that Chapter 1 of the prequel to my novel, Emerson Page and Where the Light Enters, is arriving in inboxes at this very moment. I created it to send as a free gift to everyone who signs up for my mailing list. I’ll deliver a new chapter on the first of every month between now and October as we lead up to the launch of the book on November 1st. The only way to get the prequel is to sign up for the mailing list.

Each chapter will be told in the first-person and from the perspective of a different main character. All of the chapters take place on the same day so readers will be able to see this critical event in the book from many different angles.

Chapter 1 is a diary entry from the perspective of Nora Page, Emerson’s mother, as she makes the decision that will change Emerson’s life forever. Simply sign up for my mailing list and I’ll send it right over to you!