you're reading...

Wonder: No more fear

“Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less.” ~Marie Curie

I am tremendously excited about moving into my new condo. I also have many moments throughout the day when I’m scared out of my mind about buying real estate. There’s a twitchy part of me that every day wants to go running and screaming from this purchase. But I don’t. I do know in my gut that this is the right thing to do. So I sit down and I breathe. Sometimes I cry. Sometimes I smile. When all else fails, I hug Phineas and eat a bowl of ice cream.

I am trying hard to understand what’s behind the fear. I’ve had housing insecurity for most of my life. I know deep down that what’s irking me is change, even though I happen to very good at change. Hell, I’ve been upsetting the apple cart for most of my life. But every time there’s a big shift, a small part of me worries that I have somehow made the absolute wrong choice. I imagine myself as that tiniest of birds way out there on the very edge of the branch. It’s teetering. I’m teetering. And somehow this time my wings won’t work. I won’t be able to fly. I won’t be able to deal with whatever comes my way, even though I’ve always been able to deal with even the worst circumstances.

I have to constantly remind myself that I’m enough, that I can do this, that I will be okay, or find a way to be okay. I might be scared, but I’m doing this anyway knowing that eventually understanding will arrive.

About Christa Avampato

I make a living in business and I make a life as a writer, artist, and yogi. I use my business and storytelling skills to build a better world. My first novel, Emerson Page and Where the Light Enters, will be published in the Fall of 2017 by Thumbkin Prints, a children's and YA imprint of Possibilities Publishing Co. My creative career has stretched across Capitol Hill, Broadway theatre, education, nonprofit fundraising, health and wellness, and Fortune 500 companies in retail, media, and financial services. In every experience, I have used my sense of and respect for elegant design to develop meaningful products, services, program, and events to help people live happier, healthier lives. A recovering multi-tasker, I am a proud alum of UPenn (BA) and the Darden School at UVA (MBA). When not in front of my Mac, I’m on my yoga mat, walking my rescue dog, Phineas, traveling with a purpose, or practicing the high-art of people watching. I am proud to New York City my home, and I've been called the happiest New Yorker by friends and strangers alike. They're right. Follow my adventures on Twitter at and Instagram at


No comments yet.

I'd love to know what you think of this post! Please leave a reply and I'll get back to you in a jiffy! ~ CRA

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: