“Start ignoring people who threaten your joy. Literally, ignore them. Say nothing. Don’t invite any parts of them into your space.” ~Alex Elle
Look right through people who interrupt, disturb, or attempt to steal your joy. They’re not your work to do. They aren’t your responsibility. They aren’t worth your energy, time, nor effort. You go on being your magnificent, talented, beautiful self. The best you can do for them is to inspire them with the ripples of true joy flowing from you into the Universe. And if that’s not enough for them, then they aren’t enough for you.
Though I’m not a religious person, I do believe passionately in the power of community and love. One of my very dearest friends was dealt an incredible loss last week. If you have any spare thoughts, prayers, and virtual hugs, she and her family could really use them now. Let the goodness flow through you and out into the Universe in the hopes that we can brighten the skies a bit for everyone. Thank you so much.
There’s an older man in a wheelchair who makes balloon animals for all of the kids near the Columbia Heights metro stop. No matter the weather, he’s out there. I walked past him the other day as a little girl ran to him smiling and squealing with delight. You’d think he was her long lost best friend. And he returned that smile right back to her. The two hugged and he immediately began twisting a balloon into a puppy for her.
That unparalleled joy from both of them showed me the power of connection, the power of giving and receiving. It can come from everyone to anyone everywhere at any time. It knows no limits nor bounds. A smile builds a bridge across every divide and level of diversity. It brings us all together.
“Life is about change. Sometimes it’s painful. Sometimes it’s beautiful. Most of the time, it’s both.” ~ Lana Lang
You may find that you’re ready for a change. Change is liberating and difficult. It’s exhilarating and frightening. There is rarely a good time for it. We are rarely truly ready for it. While careful planning can help to create a transition, sometimes you have to do something radical. You have to just leap with the confidence that you’ll be able to handle whatever happens. And you will. You will.
When something doesn’t go your way, do you spend any time wondering “why on Earth did I have to go through THAT?” Consider this explanation:
Let’s say you’re in a relationship with someone who turns out to not be the person he represented himself to be when you first met him. It’s highly likely you’ll wonder what his purpose was in your life because now you’re really confused and hurt by the end of it all. Why didn’t the Universe just keep that guy away from you to begin with?
Take a step back because maybe it’s not all about you. Consider this: the Universe wants all of us to rise up and become our best selves, that jerk of a guy included. So you were a gift to him from the Universe. A valuable, precious, amazing gift. And, yes, you could have helped him a lot. You would have been the best thing for him. But he didn’t want the gift of you. Maybe he didn’t know how to appreciate the gift. Maybe he didn’t feel worthy of it. Maybe he didn’t think enough of himself to feel that he deserved it. Or maybe, and this is the saddest reason in my opinion, he actually doesn’t want to be happy. He’s comfortable being miserable.
Your gifts and your light are too valuable to be wasted. He didn’t appreciate the gift of you so he doesn’t get to keep it. The Universe puts an end to it all, and that’s how it has to be for your sake. This whole thing wasn’t about you at all. It was about him. The Universe would have loved nothing better than for him to evolve, but he chose not to so away you go, one way or another.
This duality of what’s in it for you and what’s in it for the system as a whole is always in play. It applies to every interaction we have in every setting. Something for you and something for someone else that together leads to something for the system of which you’re both a part. Apply it to jobs, friendships, romantic relationships, creative projects. The same principles apply.
It really isn’t all about you. It’s about all of us, together.
“Live life as if everything is rigged in your favor.” ~Rumi
No matter what happens to us, the good and the bad, I try to remember that the universe, the prana, is on my side. It wants all of us to be happy, healthy, and fulfilled. When unfortunate things happen to me I try to (eventually) realize that this is actually something beneficial to me in the long-run. Unfortunate events steer me away from something, someone, or someplace, because there’s a better option out there that I need to find or there’s a change I need to make. And since I’m not one to settle for less than what I want, an unfortunate event forces me to set out on a journey, external or internal, even if I don’t know exactly where I’m going or how I’ll get there.
This attitude also helps me to trust in a greater and grander view than I can see from my perspective. It means I trust that even though I don’t fully understand why something’s happening to me, I have faith that somewhere down the line it will make sense to me. I’ll be able to look back and see why things that seemed so unfortunate in the moment are blessings in hindsight.
This perspective isn’t always easy to maintain, especially in the thick of the moment. But I’ll tell you this – it’s never failed me. Never. Every unfortunate thing that’s ever happened to me has always made my life better in the grand scheme of things. It just takes time. I trust that this will always be the case. It has to be. After all, would you mess with the universe?
“I would rather be a hot mess of bold action, a make-it-happen-learn-on-the-fly kind of person, than a perfectly organized coward.” ~ Brendon Burchard
This quote resonates with me in such a powerful way. We might think we have all our ducks in a row, that we’ve accounted for every possibility, and yet we find that life has a funny way of throwing us the curve ball we never saw coming. Contingency plans won’t save us. Our abilities to adapt, evolve, grow, and learn are our saving graces. They are the things that will help us not only survive, but thrive, in a world that will always change. I don’t rely on my organizational skills to get by; instead, I believe that I can and will handle whatever life throws my way. Courage to face our challenges head-on is everything.
I’m insanely excited that I’ll be traveling to Sarajevo the week of Thanksgiving to visit Amy, one of my very nearest and dearest friends who is doing a fellowship there. We’re planning to take a few side trips as well and possibilities include Istanbul, Budapest, and Prague.
I haven’t been out of the country since my trip to India in 2012. Work, creative projects, several moves, a creative sabbatical in California, and life in general made an international trip tough to swing. But now that I’m back on track, I’m re-indulging my sense of adventure and wanderlust by flying off to distant lands I’ve never seen before.
Through the wonders of social media, I’ll bring all of you along with me as I meet new people, see new places, and revel in the beauty of a city fighting and finding its way back to its roots through art, music, and cuisine. I’m prepared to fall in love with this city and all it has to offer.
Have you been to Sarajevo? If so, I’d love suggestions of activities and sites I must see.
Is there anyone who doesn’t love Fall? The slight chill in the air, the beautiful foliage and vibrantly colored sky, the rich and aromatic flavors and scents of pumpkin, apple, and a roaring fireplace. This is the time of year I live for. It’s my new year, the start of something new and exciting. I make the most of these days. I get out there as often as I can to simply take in the air and remind myself that we are all moving forward, that change cannot be stopped and should be embraced.
I love Ryan Adams, and all the more so for quotes like this: “There is nothing wrong with loving the crap out of everything. Negative people find their walls. So never apologize for your enthusiasm. Never ever.”
The negative people I meet—and sadly there are so many of them out there—often think I’m overly enthusiastic, that I’m just too excited about life. And to that I say, “Someday, I hope you realize what you’re missing.”
I do love the crap out of everything—my friends, Phineas, my city, my writing, my creative projects, music, art, books, animals, nature, my home, travel. You name it and I can find something I love about it. Negative people will knock us down; that’s their choice and we can’t control it.Whether we stay down or eventually rise up is our choice and we do control that. Their behavior has nothing to do with us and everything to do with them. Their negativity is a direct reflection about how they feel about themselves, not how they feel about us.
So here’s my advice: take every wall that a negative person throws in front of you and carve a window into it. Crawl through that window and leave those negative people behind.You are not responsible for them. They don’t have anything to offer you and they don’t want the gifts you have to give. That’s their loss, not yours. You deserve to be surrounded by love; don’t settle for anything less.
Christa Avampato 