“In the last analysis, the individual person is responsible for living his own life and for “finding himself.” If he persists in shifting his responsibility to somebody else, he fails to find out the meaning of his own existence.” ~ Thomas Merton, Trappist monk, poet, and author
My Uncle Tom sent me this quote just as I was online researching virtuous feedback loops, an operations term that describes a system that is built to educate itself by doing the very act it was created to perform. (There really is no end to my nerd-dom.) With virtuous feedback loops, a system constantly learns and improves. It’s a technical paradigm that at its core supports the old adage of “practice makes perfect”, at least “practice makes better.”
I thought about how we build systems into our lives that function as virtuous feedback loops. Certainly music, sports, the arts, and cooking are examples of these loops – we improve these skills just by practicing them, learning something from each new shot we take at it. Except when we hit a wall. Improvement ceases, we get stuck, and then grow to hate the activity altogether.
I was a saxophone player when I was in school, and I was truly mediocre. I would practice and practice and practice and really never make any great strides. I finally got so frustrated with the lack of progress that I decided to be a jazz fan and turn my artistic energy toward writing, design, and business (which, yes, is most certainly an art). It was a wise choice on my part. I’ve turned out to be a much more productive and happier writer, designer, and business woman than I ever would have been a jazz artist.
We have only so much energy and years to while away on this planet. Thomas Merton implores us to take a look at our lives from our own perspective, not anyone else’s. Take stock of what really matters, what we love to do, and where we can be useful, and action against that. Build virtuous feedback loops in our lives that do what they’re meant to do – help us get better at something we’re meant to do. I wasn’t meant to be a saxophone player. And as disappointed as I was to realize that at the time, I’m glad I didn’t spend years trying to hack away as a mediocre musician.
That move took some serious serious self-analysis and more than a little humility. I had to let go of what I loved but couldn’t improve so that I could find a new happiness and passion. I had to quit to succeed. Sometimes that happens, and it’s okay.
So if you find yourself stuck in a rut, working at something that just isn’t improving and that you’re actually growing to dislike as a result, then maybe it’s time to find a new passion, one that you can improve upon as you practice. Just make sure that if you do get a new dream, you’re the one making the choice. This is your time after all, and you only get one chance to be you.
Published by Christa Avampato
IN BRIEF
Author, journalist, digital product manager, and licensed New York City tour guide. Creator and host of NYC's Secrets and Lies. Alumna of the University of Pennsylvania (BA), the Darden School of Business at the University of Virginia (MBA), Arizona State University (Biomimicry), and the University of Cambridge (MSt in Sustainability Leadership).
I build digital media platforms, report on urban climate resilience and biodiversity, and produce live narrative experiences that connect communities to history, nature, and place.
THE DEEP DIVE
My work centers on a single thread: building systems and stories that foster deep connection to our shared world. Across digital streaming, environmental reporting, and live civic storytelling, I design experiences that help people understand complex ideas and the environments around them.
DIGITAL PRODUCT STRATEGY & MEDIA LEADERSHIP
At Carnegie Hall, I serve as Digital Product Manager, leading product strategy, operations, and technical delivery for the video streaming platform Carnegie Hall+. I translate artistic mission into scalable, high-performance streaming architecture that reaches audiences globally. Previously, I led agile product and delivery teams across operations and compliance at American Express, managed Broadway theatrical productions and national tours, and guided strategic initiatives across cultural institutions.
ENVIRONMENTAL JOURNALISM & AUTHORSHIP
As a freelance journalist, I investigate how living systems, urban infrastructure, and human culture intersect. My reported features on urban decarbonization, biodiversity, coastal resilience, and biomimicry appear in publications including Smithsonian Magazine, The Washington Post, Mongabay, Natural History Magazine, and Foreign Policy Magazine. In fiction, I write the Emerson Page young adult novel series, alongside upcoming historical fiction and nonfiction works on New York history, mythology, and human resilience. I also write Togetherhood, a LinkedIn newsletter focused on urban ecology and community restoration, and co-host the podcast Frameworks in the Wild.
LIVE EXPERIENCE & CIVIC STORYTELLING
As a licensed New York City tour guide and live event producer, I transform urban landscapes into shared narrative encounters. I created, produce, and host NYC's Secrets and Lies, an interactive live storytelling series staged across cultural landmarks including the New York Transit Museum, the South Street Seaport Museum, and the historic tall ship Wavertree. I also design and lead site-specific walking tours exploring coastal ecology, food history, and neighborhood evolution, often with partners at Climate Week NYC and the Natural Areas Conservancy.
DOUBLE OR NOTHING MEDIA
Through my independent production studio, Double or Nothing Media, I develop ventures across media, ecology, and public history:
Digital Products & Strategy: Architecting scalable digital platforms, streaming experiences, and operational models for mission-driven institutions.
Environmental Reporting & Publications: Delivering long-form reporting, books, and newsletters grounded in climate resilience and regenerative design.
Site-Specific Live Storytelling: Producing immersive live shows and educational walking tours that engage public audiences in community history.
CONNECT
Website & Production Hub: doubleornothingmedia.com and christaavampato.com
Newsletter: Togetherhood on LinkedIn - linkedin.com/newsletters/togetherhood-7273771832221089792/
Instagram & Threads: @christarosenyc
Emerson Page Novels: emersonpagebook.wordpress.com/
View all posts by Christa Avampato
“In the last analysis, the individual person is responsible for living his own life and for “finding himself.” If he persists in shifting his responsibility to somebody else, he fails to find out the meaning of his own existence.” ~ Thomas Merton, Trappist monk, poet, and author 
nice post christa.
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from one nerd to another ; )
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I love our nerd coalition 🙂
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