“Tell me something good.” That’s what one of my neighbors said to me when I saw her outside yesterday when we were walking our dogs. I completely understood why she needed good news right now.
Although this is a very different situation and it’s happening on a geopolitical scale with impacts on many millions of people, I felt the same way my neighbor feels when I went through cancer treatment. A friend of mine sent me an email back then that said he had tried to message me many times but just had no idea what to say. He felt that everything he could say was inadequate considering what I was going through. I said to him exactly what my neighbor said to me. “Tell me something good.” He felt awful talking about anything good because he thought it would make me feel worse about my situation. It did just the opposite for me. His good news lifted me up.
Even in times of mourning and the deepest sorrow, we need light. We need stories. We need moments of joy to give us a boost so that we can keep going. It doesn’t mean that we care any less or that we don’t understand the seriousness of what’s happening. Joy is an act of resistance. Joy is fuel. Joy is how we sustain our courage.
When we don’t know what to say, it’s okay to just be present and listen. So often what people need is not an answer but an ear and a shoulder. And if you have it within you, tell them something good. That may be exactly what they need to hear right now.
Christa Avampato 