Category: grateful

grateful, gratitude, kindness, thankful, thanksgiving

Beginning: Remembering To Whom We Owe Thanks

Christa Avampato

“I perhaps owe having become a painter to flowers.” ~ Claude Monet

“The only people with whom you should try to get even are those who have helped you.” ~ John E. Southard

A friend of mine recently lost her job. I met with her to talk about some new possibilities and how I could help her connect to sources of new employment. For very close friends, I’m always happy to have these types of conversations. I spend a lot of time cultivating and caring for my network for just these types of occasions. I relish the role of being a connector.

Just after my friend and I finished talking she asked me how she could repay me, which made me smile. I didn’t need any repayment of any kind – I have already been repaid many times over. She’s my friend. And honestly, I get repaid every day just to have the opportunity of being alive. This sounds trite, except when I explain that every day I have is just gravy to me. I came very close to not making it out from a fire that happened in my apartment building about a year and a half ago. Until I was out of the building, I didn’t realize how close I had come to a really tragic end of a life not yet fully unfurled. All the repayment I ever need from any good deed I do in this lifetime is the opportunity to breath.

A lot of people have helped my life along to where it is now. Too many to name here though they can rest assured that I remember every kindness, every favor, every ounce of support. Family, friends, teachers, co-workers, neighbors. When I think about all of the goodness that I’ve seen in my travels, the disappointments and set backs are so minimal (even if they didn’t seem minimal at the time that they happened.) That’s why the quotes above by Monet and Southard caught my attention in such a powerful way. By helping people like my friend currently looking for a job, I’m just repaying the world for all its done for me. I’ve only just begun – I still have many more payments forward to make.

This blog is also available as a podcast on Cinch and iTunes.

adventure, books, career, celebration, change, choices, creativity, discovery, experience, family, friendship, grateful, gratitude, growth, happiness, ideas, meditation, New York City, story, writing, yoga

Step 365: What’s Possible? A 2010 Wrap-up.

Christa Avampato

“I am neither an optimist nor pessimist, but a possibilist.” ~ Max Lerner

As I cross over the finish line of 365 days of living and writing about an extraordinary life, I marvel at the passing of another year. On December 31, 2009, I wrote a post explaining that in 2010 I wanted to record something every day that put me one step closer to an extraordinary life.

This December 31st post is always fun to write because it’s a chance for me to reflect on the past year and realize how much has happened. Just like flipping through the New York Times’s Year in Pictures helps us remember what’s happened in the world around us, flipping through my posts from the last year lets me remember all the tiny steps that brought me to do this day.

My road to recovery from my apartment building fire:
I was in denial about the true effect it had on me and that brought me to Brian, my coach and therapist, who has helped my life grow in leaps and bounds. By June, I finally felt safe in my home again and could make my apartment feel like a peaceful space.

Stepping into the writing life:
I moved my blog over to WordPress and for the first time in the 3 years since I seriously began to contemplate living a writer’s life, earned enough money to be a freelance writer for hire. This year I connected with so many talented writers – Josh, Laura, Amanda, Erica, Sharni, Will, Sara, the Wordcount Blogathon writers, Katherine, the fab team at Owning Pink, Elephant Journal, and Michael.

I wrote and published my first e-book, Hope in Progress: 27 Entrepreneurs Who Inspired Me During the Great Recessions, a compilation of 27 of my interviews that I conducted with entrepreneurs through my Examiner column.

Yoga at the forefront of my life:
I completed my 200 hour yoga teacher training at Sonicstarted Compass Yoga, my own small teaching company, and will begin teaching a regular Sunday night yoga class at Pearl Studios NYC. Through Sonic I was inspired by the incredible teachers and the 23 amazing women in my class whom I hold so dear after our journey together. My yoga teacher training helped me to establish a regular meditation practice and cured the insomnia I’ve lived with all of my life. I found the joyful noise of kirtan, which re-ignited my interest in music. Yoga led me toward a true contemplation of my faith and spirituality that continues down a very healthy, peaceful path. There are not words enough to thank the people at Sonic for how much joy they brought to my life, but I gave it a shot in this post about our last class and the closing ritual of the training. I am forever and happily indebted to them.

Some wrong turns, too:
I studied for my GRE and despite doing well on the exam, Columbia sent me an email that began “we regret to inform you that you have not been accepted” [into a PhD program in education]. I wrote a curriculum for LIM College that I was tremendously excited about, and then the class was canceled at the 11th hour for reasons that still make me shake my head. I was so excited to be selected to serve on a jury and sadly realized just how imperfect our system is. I still think about the case on a regular basis.

Making peace with New York living:
In 2010 I fell in love with New York City, again and again and again. It became my home. Our love hate relationship ended its many years of turmoil and now we’re living together in a general state of bliss, with an occasional side dish of annoyance, just for good measure and because, well, it’s a very New York thing to do.

A few unexpected journeys:
I conquered my fear of swimming in open water while on a yoga retreat in Greece. I found that mistakes can be joyful.

Wonderful new additions to my family:
We happily welcomed my new little niece Aubree and after years of wondering whether or not I should get a dog, Phineas, a sweet little dachshund, has graced my life via the Humane Society and New York dachshund rescue.

And 10 valuable life lessons that I’m grateful for:
1.) Goodness is created and remembered by sharing what we have with others.
2.) Shouting dreams helps bring them into being.
3.) Stubborness can be a beautiful thing.
4.) We get what we settle for.
5.) Obstacles in our lives are valuable.
6.) We never have to wait to live the life we want.
7.) Letting go is sometimes the bravest and best thing to do
8.) Trusting our gut is the best way to get to get to the decision that’s right for us.
9.) Be thankful for less.

My favorite and most treasured discovery of 2010:
10.) Truly extraordinary living is found in very ordinary moments.

Wishing you a very happy start to 2011. Thanks so much for being with me on this journey that was 2010.

The image above makes me feel free. Find it here.

grateful, gratitude, routine, vacation

Step 325: Gratitude Grows Away from NYC

Christa Avampato

I will be the first person to tell anyone why I think New York City is the greatest place on Earth for me. There are so many other cities in the world that I love, but none that feel so like home to me as New York. It is a city that has literally every amenity, experience, and culture imaginable, and then some. But even I, a very proud New Yorker, need a break. Last week I found myself frustrated with the subway, aggravated with the crowds, and sometimes overwhelmed by the noise. I needed time away.

For Thanksgiving week I’m in Florida, where most of my family now lives. (My brother and I are the only ones still in the Empire State.) Phineas took his first plane ride, and I’m staying with my parents for the first time in their new place after their recent retirement. I’m horsing around with my nieces, joking around with my sister, Weez, and talking with my brother-in-law about art, Cesar Milan, and all things Alabama. We’ll be taking a spin around Disney World, checking out the new wizarding world of Harry Potter, and getting our fill of cartoons and old movies. It’s a very different life down here than it is for me at home. And that’s a very good thing.

My mom reminded me yesterday of all the little things that make her life easier now: new appliances, a gym across the street, numerous restaurants she can go to for lunch with my stepfather, and all of the services within walking distance of their new place. (Phineas and I discovered the Starbucks this morning on the other side of their apartment complex.) Palm trees sway, the wading birds call (a little too early in the morning, but a far less jarring sound than the sirens I’m accustomed to), and flip-flops are well-used year-round.

I lived in Florida for a year and a half a number of years ago, though I don’t think it will ever be my home again. However, coming here is a chance for me to recharge with my family and be reminded of just how important little conveniences are. I lose sight of that in New York where we want everything we want, when and where we want it, and 99.9% of the can get it. The appreciation for the little day-to-day events that make life so enjoyable is more readily apparent away from the city that never sleeps, and I’m grateful for the reminder.

community, dreams, faith, grateful, gratitude, learning, love

My Year of Hopefulness – Ancient Wisdom

Christa Avampato

“The interdependency of Humankind, the relevance of relationship, the sacredness of creation is ancient, ancient wisdom.” ~ Rebecca Adamson

On the 17th floor of my apartment building, I feel a little closer to what’s miraculous and sacred in our world. In the past few weeks I have felt some energy driving me toward something new; I’ve felt my life taking on a different kind of meaning. Last night as I was getting my apartment ready for the movers to arrive, I had my music on, washing my new kitchen supplies and watching the sun sink down behind those lovely water towers. In one moment I felt intensely overcome with gratitude, as if my heart had opened up in a way that it never has before. There seemed to be so many opportunities laid out before me and all I had to do was select one, like taking a book from a shelf.

I began to tick through my personal relationships and all of the strength and hope and inspiration that I find in each of them. I started to recall kindnesses and favors and support that I’ve been offered, not just in the past few weeks but as far back as I can remember. I wanted to give the whole world a great big hug, followed by a great big thank you, for everything.

I wonder if this feeling, this sense of belonging has been available to me along and I just didn’t see it or didn’t know how to tap into it. I’m intrigued by the difference between looking and seeing, by how often we run around desperately seeking that which inevitably ends up being right in front of us. What if we just stopped, for a brief moment, and saw with a new kind of clarity the many blessings we have, recognized are tremendous capacity for change, for goodness, for creation.

We can construct a richer, happier, more meaningful existence, for ourselves and others, by tapping into the wisdom that is all around us, by recognizing that we are all always in this together. All of a sudden when we realize we aren’t alone, when we recognize that there are ancient, fundamental learnings that connect us across generations, across the globe, across time continuums, our feelings of loneliness and isolation are replaced by community and love. The impossible becomes not only possible, but imminent.

fear, grateful, home, insomnia, nature, sleep, stress, thankful, weather

My Year of Hopefulness – Cleansing

Christa Avampato

It’s the middle of the night and I’m having a tough time sleeping. I’ve become accustomed to insomnia as I’ve had it off and on for most of my life. Tonight is a little eerie though. I’m awake because of the wind. It’s keeping me up long past my bedtime. It’s so gusty that as I was walking back to my friend, Amber’s, apartment, I could feel the weather bearing down on me. For a moment I almost lost my footing. You’d think this was Chicago in the winter the way the gusts are going. We rarely have wind like this, especially at the beginning of September.

I can’t help but think that this odd wind is a way for the greater universe to say to me that my life is being cleaned out, and it must be this way as tough as the circumstances may be. With these gusts will go all of the bad energy from the fire. And with that energy will go the fear as well – mine, and my neighbors’, family’s, and friend’s fears, too. Rather than it being a disturbing wind, perhaps it’s trying to be of great use at a time of great need. Maybe a strong, forceful wind is exactly what’s called for in times of stress. At least I’m hoping that’s the case.
As I headed from The Empire Hotel toward the subway tonight, for a second I thought “damn, all my warm clothes might be ruined. I have nothing to wear!” And then a second later I started laughing, out loud. Who cares? So I will have to buy some new warm clothing now that Fall has arrived. I stopped for a moment right by Columbus Circle and looked up at the sky, the clouds faintly swirling and swishing in the very dark sky. I said a prayer to whatever and whoever is up there looking down on me, blowing all the smoke away so that I might see and think a bit more clearly. “Thank you,” I said. “I’m glad I’m here to witness this.” And I’ve never meant any 9 words more in my life.
The image above is not my own. It can be found here.
adventure, change, grateful, gratitude, happiness, New York City, travel

My Year of Hopefulness – A Real New Yorker

Christa Avampato

Yesterday I was running errands after work, collecting a few more odds and ends to organize my apartment. I had forgotten that when you go from a place with storage to a place with hardly any storage, you actually have to buy things to put your things in. 2 hours later at the Container Store…

It was hot and sticky and raining on and off. My bags were heavy and I was worn out from a long, tiring week. I was trudging along, past The Plaza, past Central Park South, toward the Time Warner Building, lost in my own personal fog. At the corner, I was waiting for the light to change so I could get down underground to the unbearably hot subway that would get me home with all my things to put my things in. I’m sure my face was a little crinkled. I’m positive I was sighing out loud.

Two guys, clearly visiting NYC, were in a Scooby-Doo style van, hanging out the windows and snapping pictures like mad. I must remember to start carrying my camera everywhere to capture moments like that. These guys were grinning from ear to ear, in awe of what they were seeing, what they were right in the middle of. They made me smile, too. One of them saw me, and asked “are you a real New Yorker?” and then snapped my picture, as if I was a rare species that they needed to capture on film to show their friends back home.

“I am a real New Yorker,” I replied. “Cool,” he said. And that made me smile even wider. Here I was sighing about how tired and worn out I was, and here are these guys, invigorated by the exact same environment.

I didn’t cross the street just yet. I sat down in one of the cafe chairs that sit at the corner of Central Park South and Columbus Circle. I took a big, deep breathe and looked around me. How lucky am I to be a New Yorker, to live in this insane, magical, always evolving place every day? I put down my load o’ bags to rest a while, to take in the glory and chaos and be grateful for the opportunity to be here in this moment.

I wish I had asked for the contact info of those Scooby-Doo van guys. I’d like to thank them for helping me fall in love with my city, again. When I picked up my bags to head home, somehow they felt lighter.

The photo above depicts Columbus Circle, New York City and can be found here.

change, friendship, good fortune, grateful, gratitude, home, moving

My Year of Hopefulness – New Home, Sweet Home

Christa Avampato

Moving day! Once again, I had a stellar experience with Flat Rate Moving and got some much needed, much appreciated help with my own bags from the past weeks. When arriving at the apartment this morning to see the new renovations, I had the impulse to skip from one end to the other. I actually hugged the new kitchen countertop. This apartment is such a huge improvement over my last place that I can hardly believe it’s mine!

While packing and unpacking are tough chores, I do relish the feeling of a fresh start, a new beginning filled with possibilities. My home isn’t just where I get some sleep and store my belongings. I do most of writing here. I practice my yoga which in akin to a religion for me. It’s a place where I laugh and cry and dream with my friends, where I have multiple out-of-town guests. The rest of my life springs from these walls, and with new walls, in some sense, I get a new life.
Once the movers collected my last signature and quietly closed the door on their way out, I did do a run through the maze of brown boxes that now lined my new place, and at the end made sure to do a little dance of gratitude: to my friends, Rob and Linda, who took me in for two weeks when I really needed a place to stay, for the movers who took such good care of my belongings from beginning to end, to the wonders of Craig’s list that made finding this apartment possible. I was so happy that I wanted to give the world one great big hug, and I wanted to make sure that I took a moment to remind myself how good this world and our experience in it can be.
Now I’m collapsing into bed with a wide smile. My feet haven’t been this tired in years and my legs aren’t used to the three flights of stairs just yet. And yet none of that matters. I’m home again.
death, dying, experience, family, friendship, grateful, gratitude, human factors, loss, sadness

My Year of Hopefulness – Trade-offs

Christa Avampato

Be glad of life because it gives you the chance to love and to work and to play and to look up at the stars. –Henry Van Dyke

A friend of mine recently lost his father and as we talked about loss, we delved into the topic of trade-offs. It’s part of life to enjoy good, happy times for a while. And yet somewhere in the back of our minds, we are conscious of the fact that these moments are fleeting. Part of experiencing life, and love, and a connection to others also requires us to have the ability to let go. It’s an odd and scary thing if we think about it too long, so it usually comes to us as a passing thought, and then we send it away.

I used to have a very hard time dealing with the loss of someone. It seemed so unfair to me to have someone we love taken away. Was it really worth it to feel a connection to people? Did it make sense to spend so much of our very brief time on this planet cultivating relationships with others that eventually fall away, for one reason or another.

Many years ago, a friend of mine was dealing with the loss of his grandfather. Knowing how much he loved his grandfather and how close he was to him, I expressed my extreme sympathy for his loss. And without a tear in his eye or a choked up feeling in his throat, he said, “Please don’t be sorry. I’m not.” I just couldn’t understand. How on Earth could he not be sorry?

“I had this amazing person in my life for so many years. I was so lucky to know that kind of love and closeness to someone for so long. He taught me an amazing amount throughout my whole life that I’m able to pass on to others. He was such a gift and I’m so grateful that I had the opportunity to have him in my life.”

I think about this conversation every time I or someone I care about must deal with losing someone. It’s so hard to imagine letting go, and I find that emphasizing the gift of their presence in our lives for however long we have them eases the sadness. It doesn’t eliminate the sadness and it doesn’t betray the person’s memory. It just helps us keep perspective, and we helps us to begin to understand that it is all worth. The cultivation of relationships is what this life we live is all about. They are the very essence of human experience.

friendship, grateful, gratitude, hope

My Year of Hopefulness – my friend, Ken

Christa Avampato

One way I feel more hopeful is by spending more quality time with people I love. Last year I spent a lot of time dashing from one place to the next, squeezing this task in here and that task in there. It’s exhausting. So I’m taking more time out this year for individuals and enjoying the time I have with them rather than watching the clock when I’m with them. 


To this end, I took the bus out to the Poconos to visit my friend, Ken, one of my nearest and dearest. Just being around him lifts up my spirit. He had a rough year in 2008, and what amazes me about him is that he doesn’t resent anything that he’s lost. He is much more grateful for having ever had those things and people in his life at all. It’s a good lesson for me, for all of us. Resentment and regret gets us nowhere. Gratefulness brings us joy, and ultimately more to be grateful for.  

celebration, grateful, thankful

21 Ways to Celebrate Life

Christa Avampato

A woman named Nancy Rothstein lost her son Josh very suddenly. Once a year Nancy adds a new way to celebrate life to her growing list – one suggestion for every one of Josh’s birthdays. I received the link to the list today – it’s now at 21 items – and I spent my commute home thinking about how I celebrate life and ways in which I’d like to celebrate life. Here’s my list for every birthday I’ve celebrated:


1.) Buy an ice cream cone on a sunny day and walk through my neighborhood 
2.) Listen to my favorite songs and repeat them as many times as I want
3.) Write
4.) Spend time with friends I adore
5.) Explore a NYC neighborhood I’m not familiar with
6.) On a rainy day, I hole up in my apartment with good food, a good movie, and never change out of my PJs
7.) I walk through my favorite area of Riverside Park and linger there as long as I want
8.) Watch re-runs of my favorite sitcoms
9.) Read the latest issues of my favorite magazines cover to cover
10.) Toil in the little shops in my neighborhood
11.) Play with a dog
12.) Practice yoga
13.) Travel abroad on my own
14.) Meditate and remind myself of all the reasons I am grateful for my life
15.) Savor a good meal slowly with good company
16.) Take care of a plant
17.) Call an old friend I haven’t talked to in a while
18.) Dance around my apartment
19.) Paint a watercolor while sitting in a beautiful place
20.) Try something new that scares me
21.) Clean my apartment – I don’t necessarily like the task but I love the result
22.) Spend the afternoon with a good book
23.) Visit one of the amazing museums in NYC
24.) Get a pedicure
25.) Volunteer my time with an organization I care about
26.) Recycle
27.) Don’t money to a charity I believe in
28.) Light a candle, say a prayer
29.) Work on a home-improvement project
30.) Remain conscious of my breathe
31.) Watch live music
32.) Take photographs

Click here for image above.