Category: faith

faith, yoga, youth

Step 298: Someone’s Listening

Christa Avampato

“When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown, faith is knowing one of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or You will be taught to fly.” ~ Patrick Overton

In the past few weeks, the press has continuously covered the recent rash of suicides among young people across the country. To contribute to a solution, I’m reaching out to a number of youth organizations and schools to see if there are yoga classes I can offer that would be helpful and to see if Innovation Station might be used as a tool to not only build creativity, but to also build community and understanding and tolerance.

On Sunday, I met up with my friend, Sara. We we were in the same yoga teacher training class, and Sara is now studying to be a holistic health counselor. We got to talking about her journey over the past year and how she came to realize that she wanted a career in the wellness field. Once she discovered her calling, she found that the world started opening up possibilities for her to live the life she wanted. Every day she’s amazed by the new opportunities coming her way as a result of articulating her dreams. Universal consciousness is a wise and generous listener.

I wish I could gather together every young person today who is struggling, who doesn’t see a light at the end of the tunnel, who truly believes that life cannot and will not get better. I want them to know what Sara and I have experienced. Yes, it can improve, but more importantly I want to tell them something even better – that someone, somewhere is always listening. They may find that hard to believe when everything around them seems so gloomy. I can tell them from my first-hand experience that I have been listened to and that the world’s energy sprang into action when I needed it most. If we have the courage to give words to our greatest fears and our greatest dreams, if we can ask for help and then accept that help, the world will offer up a way forward. Even in our loneliest, darkest hour, we are not alone. And never will be.

art, change, choices, faith, fear, politics, relationships, religion, theatre

Step 287: Review of the Off-Broadway Show, Freud’s Last Session

Christa Avampato

In 1998, I saw the play Picasso at the Lapin Agile in San Francisco. I remember being completely riveted watching the fictional meeting of two of the most inspiring characters of all time, Einstein and Picasso. This construct for a play appealed to me so much that I still routinely think about that show 12 years later. It was at times touching and sad, joyful and hopeful. Full of lively, passionate debate and intense discussion about timeless social issues, I always felt it would be hard for a play to match Steve Martin’s brilliance.

Lucky for us Mark St. Germain has succeeded in building a script that’s even more powerful and thought-provoking than Martin’s – Freud’s Last Session, now playing off-Broadway at The Marjorie S. Deane Little Theater at the West Side YMCA. Freud’s Last Session showcases the possibly factual meeting between a young C.S. Lewis, a devout Christian and the gifted author who would go on to write The Chronicles of Narnia and The Screwtape Letters, and Sigmund Freud, a life-long atheist, consummate intellectual, and founding figure of psychoanalysis, who is at the very end of his life and career, dying of oral cancer. Set in London on September 3, 1939, the invasion of Poland by the Nazis serves as the political backdrop of their meeting.

The piece made me laugh out loud one moment, and tug at my deepest convictions the next. The dialogue is so sharp and the acting by Martin Rayner (Freud) and Mark H. Dold (Lewis) so penetrating that the 75-minute show flew by, too quickly in my opinion. I wanted more of the debate and the history. I found myself rooting for their relationship, and wanting it to go on, in spite of knowing that 20 days later Freud would engage his long-time friend and physician to end his battle with cancer.

The show touches upon an incredibly diverse set of themes: religion first and foremost, war, death, sexuality, fear, faith, love, memory, humor, and change. While this list of topics seems overwhelming, they are in the very capable hands and words of St. Germain, who expertly weaves them together in such a seamless way that I found myself completely wrapped up in the story as if it were my own. The language he uses is so vivid and the mannerisms of the actors are so authentic that I truly felt I was peering into a window on history. This play is the most rare form of theatrical work – a perfect script. Every single word precisely and beautifully chosen. The set and lighting designs are so realistic that I felt transported across space and time to Freud’s London study to witness this single, emotional meeting.

This show has a special, very personal meaning for me because my father was a Freudian psychologist. He passed away when I was a teenager, long before I ever had the opportunity to have a conversation with him as Lewis may have had with Freud. I didn’t get the opportunity to understand his contradictions and complexities, though that may have been for the best. At the end of his life, he was in a great deal of pain physically and emotionally, as Freud was. Through the dialogue of Freud’s Last Session, I was able to put together some more pieces about my father’s personality, as if I had actually been placed there in that seat for a very specific reason – to help me get a little bit closer to understanding my childhood. My thanks to Mark St. Germain for this amazing gift; he has inspired me to dig deeper and learn more about Freud and Lewis. I’m confident that there are more answers there, waiting for me to discover them. And that is perhaps the greatest lesson of the show – that self-discovery is a journey that never ends and yet must be pursued. As he so adeptly has Lewis say, “The real struggle is to keep trying.”

Freud’s Last Session runs through November 28th at The Marjorie S. Deane Little Theater. Don’t miss it.

Image above depicts Mark H. Dold and Martin Rayner as Lewis and Freud, respectively.

determination, failure, faith

Step 221: Entrepreneurs Equally Confident and Vulnerable

Christa Avampato

“When we were children, we used to think that when we were grown-up we would no longer be vulnerable. But to grow up is to accept vulnerability… To be alive is to be vulnerable.” ~ Madeleine L’Engle

Entrepreneurship takes a bit of unbridled confidence. Part of an entrepreneur must remain a child forever. Go into a kindergarten classroom and ask students to raise their hands if they believe they are fantastic singers. I bet everyone would not only raise their hands, but also start to belt out their favorite tunes. Ask the same question to a room full of adults and you’d be lucky to get a hand or two. That hand or two belongs to people who are innately entrepreneurs. If we really want to make it with our own ideas turned into businesses, we need confidence more than we need anything else.

And while all entrepreneurs need confidence, they also need to put the very best of themselves out there everyday, knowing that some days they may come home empty-handed. To put our own personal brand out into the world without hiding behind another company’s name leaves us equally open to praise and criticism. People will constantly ask us how it’s going, and we have to sometimes buck up and say “could be better”. We have to remain hopeful and vulnerable all at once. We have to keep knocking on doors to keep discouraging thoughts at arm’s length.

A few months ago, I put together 27 interviews from my Examiner.com column about entrepreneurship into an e-book, Hope in Progress. Each of those entrepreneurs exhibits that perfect balance between remaining vulnerable and confident at once. I learned so much from them, and am grateful that they took the time to share their stories with me. Each of them lives by Madeleine L’Engle’s edict, expressed so beautifully in her quote at the beginning of this post: to be truly alive, we have to put our deepest desires out there into the world, listen to the response, and remain grateful for the opportunity to fully express who we really are.

faith, music, yoga

Step 137: The Sound of Faith

Christa Avampato

“All major religions carry basically the same message. That is love, compassion, and forgiveness. The important thing is they should be part of our daily lives.” ~ Dalai Lama

Last night I hopped over to Sonic Yoga’s kirtan to make up a few teacher training hours that I’m going to miss on Saturday. I attended the first kirtan in March and was excited to see how the event was evolving. Most of the people there were involved with the teacher training currently or were alumni of previous trainings. Sonic has done an incredible job of keeping its teachers in touch and bridging the divide between classes. My friend, Courtney, leaned over to me at one point and said, “I’d really like to just roll out my mat and sleep here because it feels so good to be in this.” I felt the same way.

Though Sanskrit is a foreign language to me, I feel like I’ve spoken it before. The words have so much power and vibration in them, sometimes subtle and sometimes so strong that I think my heart might leap out of my chest. I’ve heard some people express the same feeling about their religious faith or going to their church. For me, yoga is my church, and kirtan is the soundtrack to my experience on the mat.

Last night as I walked to the subway with two other friends from my teacher training class, we talked about how alive we felt after the kirtan, about how it swept away our tired, worn-out feelings. Somehow that song that is almost entirely improvised breathes life into us in a way that food and water and even relationships cannot. It’s the sound that awakens something in us that is very tangible but somehow still too elusive to put a name on. It is a feeling we can take out into the world and infuse into everything we do.

We walked out into the night wanting very much to bring the peace and confidence and creativity we found at the kirtan out into the world. Even this morning I am still humming the melodies, sometimes purposefully and other times subconsciously. Sound and song have been a part of so many revolutions throughout time. I wonder if our little kirtans at Sonic, in some small way, are helping to shift the world’s energy in a way that we so desperately need it to shift.

career, change, choices, faith

Step 134: The Life Waiting For Us

Christa Avampato

“We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.” ~ Joseph Campbell

I walked to the subway last night with a friend of mine from yoga class. She asked me how I got so interested in so many things, which lead to us talking about the idea of life paths. I went to school with a lot of people who were on a straight and narrow road. It must be nice to have that consistency. Surprise is the constant in my life.

When I started college, I was going to be a civil engineer. And then I became a history / economics majors. After a brief stint on Capitol Hill as a legislative aide, I made a career in Broadway theatre, which eventually took me into fundraising, followed by business school. From business school, I started working in the innovation field at a toy company and now I’m a product developer in financial services, on the verge of starting my own social enterprise around my impending yoga teacher certification. I’ve moved to a new home almost once a year since I was 18 – which was a long time ago. Such a linear path, right?!

At a job interview, a VP once looked at my resume and said, “Wow. sounds like you’ve done a lot of exploring.” He didn’t mean this as a compliment. Smiling, I replied, “Yes. Yes, I have.” I did get the job, despite his disapproval of my life path. He was also a very unhappy, lazy man who was let go shortly after he interviewed me. I guess being an explorer pays off in the long-run.

Truth be told, I was always out there in the world looking for opportunity and very often I found it. While some people worry about taking too many turns, I hang on and enjoy the ride. I’ve met so many fascinating people, traveled, and done everything I always wanted to do. It is a charmed life, but one I did not plan. I was just always prepared to be lucky and happy.

Sometimes I had to let go of the life I had for the promise of adventure. I had to trust that the opportunities before me were meant for me, that my life was out of my hands to a certain degree. And while it sounds scary to say that, it doesn’t feel at all scary to live it. Control is an illusion.

Whenever I was ready to leap, somehow I grew wings. Whenever I was ready to climb, there was some gentle hand that helped me rise. The life I was meant for was always waiting for me to just show up and be there and live it. So that’s what I do: I just show up, try to be present, and smile, and laugh, and learn, and trust that where I am at every moment is where I am supposed to be.

dreams, faith, hope, vision

My Year of Hopefulness – Visions and Plans

Christa Avampato

“How could a vision ever be given to someone to harbor if that person could not be trusted to carry it out? The message is simple: commitment precedes vision.” High Eagle

In San Jose, we stopped at an artisan market to buy gifts for family and friends back home. The market was filled with stalls that contained crafts of all kinds from coffee mugs to home goods to jewelry. I found some things for my family and purchased a journal for myself, of course, handmade from materials from a coffee plant. I am using it to write down my dreams for each part of my life. On this trip, a number of paths rolled out before me and I wanted to make sure to capture them as they revealed their many details.

In Costa Rica I found the space to breath and dream, the space to craft visions of what I want my life to be going forward. Bringing these dreams to life will take some short-term sacrifices, financially and personally, though the long-term pay off is well worth it. Realizing what I can live without has given me so much freedom. I don’t feel weighted down by needs and wants. I feel lighter and feel that my life is both full and fulfilling. Many of the volunteers I worked with have taken this similar path, simplifying and downsizing their lives, taking a chance on big dreams. It was very inspiring and encouraging to be among them and to hear their stories. Like me, they were a little hesitant and a little scared, and they kept going anyway.

On the plane back to the U.S., I allowed my mind to wander. I didn’t multi-task the way I have on every other flight I’ve ever been on. I simply started down one vision, turning over every stone, concentrating on all of the beautiful little details, and recording them in my coffee plant book. Within the pages of this book, I have put fear aside and written down my wildest aspirations without judging them in any way. I let the visions show up, knowing that High Eagle was absolutely right – of course I have the ability to bring them to life. If I’m committed to building a better life for myself and for others, then visions and the ability to make them my reality will follow. It is invigorating to be grounded in so much faith.

change, faith, religion

My Year of Hopefulness – Holy Water

Christa Avampato

In the center of Cartago there is a church known as La Basilica de la Virgen de los Angeles. In 1635, it is told that a statue of the Virgin was found in the forest by an Indian girl. She took it home and put it in a box. When she returned to the forest the next day, she found the statue again in the same place. When she went home, the statue was gone from the box. This same sequence of events happened to her several more times. She told her priest about the miracle and he took the statue from the forest and locked it in a box in his church. The statue performed the same miracle, and so it was decreed that the Virgin must have wanted a church built over that very spot in the forest.

On August 2nd every year, Costa Ricans come to La Basilica as a pilgrimage, some walking for days across the country and crawling on their knees from the start of the aisle up to the altar. Several of us went to the church yesterday and today to witness the extreme devotion that Costa Ricans feel for this church and for the Virgin Mary. They come here to ask for help and healing and peace and luck, something we can all use a little more of. There is a river that flows under the church and there is a small spring where people collect the holy water in bottle, wash their faces in it, and drink it as an elixir of all things in their lives that they wish to come true, things that they wish to change.

I am not a religious person, and haven’t been for a long time, though I do find religion to be a compelling area of study and I do believe fervently in a higher purpose and power. I do believe we are all connected; my religion is simply kindness. Hearing the miracles that the church has performed for people in Costa Rica, I felt compelled to pay my respects, to ask the Universe for help me now at this time in my life as I make big changes to transform it into the life I want to live, and I did wash my face in the holy water.

Sometimes, we must accept that there are things that do not make sense to us, things that happen and sources of power that we cannot see nor explain. I don’t know if the Virgin appeared in the forest and I don’t know that a church needed to be built on that site in Cartago. I do know that faith is a very powerful feeling, that it is capable of accomplishing that which we cannot possibly accomplish without it. I do believe in our ability to change, and every once in a while I believe that miracles really do happen. Today, was one of those days.

I left the church and I did feel a little bit more brave as I headed back to the house. Perhaps bravery and our ability to change that which we do not like in our lives is a miracle in and of itself.

art, children, faith, fiction, museum, writing

My Year of Hopefulness – Walking with Faith Through Egypt

Christa Avampato

“For we walk by faith, not by sight.” ~ 2 Corinthians 5:7

I went to the Egyptian Galleries today at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. I’ve been doing a little bit of fiction writing and needed to collect some research on Egypt. I suppose I could have could just looked it up on-line though it was a gorgeous day, I wanted to walk through the park, and there is not substitute for seeing the treasures of Egypt right in front of us.

The Egyptian Galleries are well-known as one of the favorite attractions for kids to the Met. The fiction piece I’m writing is actually for a young adult audience so I must admit that a little of my motivation was some good eaves dropping. Kids, of course, were fascinated by the mummies. “There’s a dead person in there?” I heard numerous times. Followed invariable by the parents saying “yes” and the kids responding “cool”. (For the record, that was my response in my mind, too.) They also loved the myriad of figurines, depictions of dogs, and all the fancy gold jewelry that literally glowed within the display cases. I easily saw a dozen kids striking a pose that matches the many Egyptian etchings that lined the walls of the galleries. I wanted to do that too, though I knew it wouldn’t be as endearing an act for a 33 year old as it is for a 10 year old, so I held myself back.

To write fiction, we have to hang out with our characters, walk around with them, see the world through their eyes as well as our own. In this action, there are bits of dialogue that surface. We learn about the experiences of our characters the same way we get to know a new friend or someone we’ve just started dating. A little at a time, we learn where they’ve been, what they’ve seen, and where they hope their lives will go. I just walk beside them silently, recording everything.

There’s a lot of faith involved in writing fiction. At the top of a blank page, we’re never quite sure where we’ll end up by the time we reach the bottom of that page. We have to be generous and patient and let the story unfold naturally, taking comfort that it will go exactly the way it’s supposed to. It’s a mystical process.

Our lives are kind of like fiction writing, too. We might have some kind of basic outline for what we’d like to do and where we’d like to go, though the details of how we color in the lines is largely spontaneous. We meet new and interesting characters along the way, we veer off in many different directions, take advantage of one opportunity and then pass on another. We travel, we experience, we remain open to things that are new and strange and beautiful. Yes, the more I think about it, the more I see that living life really is exactly like writing fiction. We fumble around in the dark, not knowing exactly what is in front of us, forging ahead with only the faith and belief that the road we’re on is exactly where we are meant to be. All we must do is be present. The story, and our very lives, will unfold around us.

community, dreams, faith, grateful, gratitude, learning, love

My Year of Hopefulness – Ancient Wisdom

Christa Avampato

“The interdependency of Humankind, the relevance of relationship, the sacredness of creation is ancient, ancient wisdom.” ~ Rebecca Adamson

On the 17th floor of my apartment building, I feel a little closer to what’s miraculous and sacred in our world. In the past few weeks I have felt some energy driving me toward something new; I’ve felt my life taking on a different kind of meaning. Last night as I was getting my apartment ready for the movers to arrive, I had my music on, washing my new kitchen supplies and watching the sun sink down behind those lovely water towers. In one moment I felt intensely overcome with gratitude, as if my heart had opened up in a way that it never has before. There seemed to be so many opportunities laid out before me and all I had to do was select one, like taking a book from a shelf.

I began to tick through my personal relationships and all of the strength and hope and inspiration that I find in each of them. I started to recall kindnesses and favors and support that I’ve been offered, not just in the past few weeks but as far back as I can remember. I wanted to give the whole world a great big hug, followed by a great big thank you, for everything.

I wonder if this feeling, this sense of belonging has been available to me along and I just didn’t see it or didn’t know how to tap into it. I’m intrigued by the difference between looking and seeing, by how often we run around desperately seeking that which inevitably ends up being right in front of us. What if we just stopped, for a brief moment, and saw with a new kind of clarity the many blessings we have, recognized are tremendous capacity for change, for goodness, for creation.

We can construct a richer, happier, more meaningful existence, for ourselves and others, by tapping into the wisdom that is all around us, by recognizing that we are all always in this together. All of a sudden when we realize we aren’t alone, when we recognize that there are ancient, fundamental learnings that connect us across generations, across the globe, across time continuums, our feelings of loneliness and isolation are replaced by community and love. The impossible becomes not only possible, but imminent.

faith, friendship, home, luck

My Year of Hopefulness – A Lucky Place to Lay My Head

Christa Avampato

My friend, Liz (another unwitting angel), was able to connect me to a friend of hers regarding an apartment. Her friend sent me the management company’s contact info. I emailed them right away and they were able to show me a studio apartment that’s available immediately, in my same neighborhood, in my price range. This story is miraculous enough with just these details though the other coincidences are striking.

My apartment building caught fire on Saturday afternoon and by tonight, I have a new place to live. It’s a pent house studio with outdoor space, lots of light, a dishwasher, full-size appliances, a very large closet, doorman, elevator, laundry in-building, art deco building, only one month security, no broker fee, beautiful view of the skyline and the Hudson River. Skeptical? Me too. It gets better.
It’s one of the first buildings in New York City that takes American Express as a form of payment for rent. And until this morning, the apartment had been listed as having an application in. It’s been that way for weeks. However, the application fell through some time ago and the list did not update for some odd reason until this morning.
Tomorrow I will get two checks for the realty company and at lunchtime will hop uptown to sign the lease. This apartment hunt all wrapped up in less than 48 hours and I got a space where I feel safe. Life changes so fast. All we can do is be ready – for good luck and bad luck. Both are bound to turn up in our lives at one time or another. And while I hope I have seen the later of these for some time to come, I’m so abundantly grateful that during this difficult transition I’ve still been able to find, receive, and recognize blessings.