Category: books

books, environment, nature, New York City

A Change of Scene Without Moving

Christa Avampato

I am in the midst of reading the book Wild Nights by Anne Matthews. It’s about the world of New York City that emerges between dusk and dawn. Matthews isn’t talking about the party-hopping nightlife, but rather the natural world that emerges when the archipelago’s dominant species, people, largely take their leave. An underworld of song birds, wild animals like coyotes, bears, and deer emerge. 


I think of myself as a New York City expert – I know many of the neighborhoods like the back of my hand. I spend a lot of time walking around Manhattan Island, and unlike many Manhattan-ites I venture to the outer burroughs on a fairly regular basis. In such a small geography, I assumed I knew most of what’s out there in my city. This book is opening my eyes in a whole new way, and has me planning weekend outings to parts of the city I’ve never even heard of, much less seen. 

All this new discovery in this book has me thinking about how to change our scene without changing our location. How can we make our space brand new, even if we’ve been in that space for a long time. And the same can be said for the actual housing space we live in, our jobs, our relationships. It’s about developing a fresh set of eyes, a new perspective, finding new joy and gratitude in what’s been right in front of us all along. A pretty decent New Year’s resolution that we can all make, right 
books, career, economy, job, management, work

Trust and learning in a time of change

Christa Avampato

“But never forget … our mission is to recognize contraries for what they are: first of all as contraries, but then as opposite poles of a unity.” ~ Herman Hesse


There’s a lot of tension flying around companies at the moment. This holiday shopping season, and the financial results it generates for companies, will lead to some potentially scary decisions in January. If you feel everyone holding their breathe until the new year, you’re not alone. The pressure and fear is immense and wide-spread.


This morning, I read my Daily Good email that highlight a Harvard Business Review article about trust in a time of extreme mistrust, and leading change in a time of change – both incredibly difficult things to do and quite frankly two things that many managers are not good (although they don’t always know that but their team does.) For example, some managers think they’re change agents simply because they question everything. The fine line that separates change agents from managers who only ear what they want to hear is how they ask the question and what their end-goal is. A change agent wants to examine possibilities, dig in to the issue, and examine detail in an effort to fully understand the issue at hand so a collaborative solution can be found. They take a balanced approach. 

Managers who hear only what they want to hear, also ask a lot of questions but ignore any of the details of what they’re asking for. These are the “I don’t care what it takes, just make it happen” managers. They will steamroll over their people, squeeze change out them, and then sit back quite proud of themselves of how they’ve transformed the group. Unfortunately that transformation came at the group’s expense, not to their benefit. And if you have one of these managers, I am very sorry. Truly. I know where you’re coming from and so do most of my friends. You are in a no-win situation because there is no reasoning with that kind of manager. Your leader doesn’t have balance, and without balance that person cannot lead effectively, much less mentor you.  

So what can you do? Reach out, way out, in your organization. Extend the olive branch at every turn, whether the person is in your group or not. Take this time to expand your network – you’ll feel better meeting new people in your organization that may have nothing to do with your job now, but could in the future. You can find solace in partnership, strength in unity. And that solace and unity is what’s going to get you through this economic bust. 

The other thing you can do is focus on the learning, not the bad behavior your fearful manager is exhibiting. Bob, one of my former bosses, gave me this counsel and I think of it all the time. He would say that no matter what happened to him in his career, good or bad, he knew it was all good learning and it made him a better person and a better manager in the end. Take this time to think about how important it is to build trust with the people you work with and for, and go out and exhibit that trust while also relying on your skills and ingenuity that will help you persevere. It’s a tough road, I know, but at this point it may be the only way forward.   

books, retail, writing

Grey Bracelets and David Sedaris

Christa Avampato

My friend, Liane and Steve, and I tried to go see David Sedaris at the 66th Street Barnes and Noble in Manhattan. We were stopped at the door. Why? No receipt for a book, and no bracelet. What’s worse – if you had a “grey bracelet” (meaning you didn’t go to the Avery Fisher Hall show of David’s) you were told to go wander around the store and you would be called when you were allowed to meet David. “Don’t stand by this door, grey bracelet holders. It won’t help you,” cried the disgruntled Barnes & Noble worker. Or maybe she was just a naturally angry woman. They have a grey bracelet, not a disease. They aren’t “untouchables”. Calm down, lady. And frankly, if they want to stand by the door, who are they harming? 


Hmmm….I like David Sedaris’s writing, but honestly, is there any reason to treat his fans badly? Is the security detail similar to that of the Pope appropriate or necessary? Given his humble economic background, you’d think he’d have more empathy for those of us who couldn’t get to his show. Maybe fame has gone to his head, or maybe he just has a real stick-in-the mud for a publicist. I’m going with the latter. I love his writing too much to think that behind those funny stories lies a guy who’s too high on himself.   

I was going to drop this whole issue and not write about it. But then when I was telling a friend of mine about the event, and he said David Sedaris would probably find the whole bracelet caste system funny. So here’s hoping he somehow finds this post, reads it, laughs a bit, and then changes the policy the next time he is in NYC promoting his books.  
books, career, choices, friendship, future, happiness, relationships

What Now?

Christa Avampato

About a month ago I read Ann Patchett’s book, What Now?. It’s a reproduction of her graduation speech at Sarah Lawrence University, her alma mater. And she talks about crossroads and where you might look when considering your next step. I wonder if she realized how poignant this question would become in the year after the book’s publication. 


In the month since reading the book, I’ve been considering “What Now?” almost daily. It seems that I am at an eternal crossroads in almost every area of my life. As I talk to my friends and my family I realize that many people are doing the same thing. So I thought it might be helpful to detail the way I’m framing up this question to myself in an effort to answer it as effectively as possible. 

Career: My friend, Susan, whom I consider my career guru, is always concerned about the story that our careers are weaving. And this is especially important for us 30-somethings. We have amassed a good deal of experience and expertise and we may be teetering on a taking the plunge into a higher level position a a big company, starting our own company, or making a career switch. How are those pieces weaving together into one cohesive story? When have we been happiest in our careers? What skills are we happiest exercising and what skills do we still want to polish up? These questions help me think about what’s next for me. 

Relationships: A tough one for us single 30-somethings. We’ve likely had a number of relationships at this point. And we’ve gone through the highest of highs and lowest of lows in love. We’ve had our hearts broken, perhaps broken someone else’s heart, walked away, been walked out on. We’ve loved and lost and loved again. Some people think this is the time to find a husband or settle in to be single for a long time to come. I don’t. There’s a calm that has settled in for me around love in the 30’s. Either it works or it doesn’t. And if it doesn’t, I’ve given up the sadness and sulking of my 20’s – it must mean that I had better get back out there because that relationship just wasn’t the right one for me.

Friends: My friend, Amy, and I always talk about how important it is to get energy from our friends rather than have or energy sapped by people. My friend, Kelly, describes it as not wanting to be around people who suck our will to live. A bit dramatic? Sure. Accurate? Definitely. We have just so much time to devote to people in our lives. Make sure that each one enriches your life. It’s not easy to clean out our lives of old friendships that don’t work anymore – for one thing, we may find our lives have more holes than we’d like. But the good news is that if we do that we’ll have more time for the people in our lives who really matter to us, and you’ll be surprised what good fortune finds you when you make room in your life for it to stay awhile.

Happiness: This is the area of my life I work on the most. It effects our health, the foundation for every other area of our lives. It effects those around us. A recent study found that surrounding ourselves with happy people has enormous benefits – physically, emotionally, and spiritually. When I think about what’s next in my life, the greatest consideration I give is a decision’s effect on my happiness. And having that one guiding principle, light’s the way. 
books, literature, technology, writing

Virtual Bookshelf

Christa Avampato

This week I finally purchased a set of bookshelves from Crate & Barrel that I’ve been coveting for a year. They display my books so beautifully that they’ve become a piece of art. I took a stroll past the shelves this evening, admiring my skills of putting together 9 straight pieces of wood with an Allen wrench and a few screws. I realized that these books aren’t just a collection of reference materials or thought-provoking stories. They are a diary of where I’ve been and interests I’ve developed over a number of years. They are beloved childhood memories and reminders of very long nights spent in a library, pouring over their pages, while in school. Some are like old friends that I visit again and again for guidance, for strength, for inspiration. 


This morning  read David Churbuck’s post about the virtual bookshelf. He loves his Kindle, though he worries that it’s destroying perhaps the greatest joy of literature – sharing it. Lending books to people, swapping them with one another, and then discussing their merits. He questions the selfishness that we embrace with our new electronic devices. 

That set me to thinking about how we might combine technology and literature in a win-win, rather than consuming one at the jeopardy of the other. This idea is particularly poignant to me because of a fiction piece I am working on that revolves around this very idea – a children’s story that I began after taking a stroll through one of the increasingly rare used book stores in New York City. I love my local Barnes & Noble, though there is something magical in the mustiness of those bookshelves that contain texts far older than me. There is history living in those shelves – those books represent pieces of people’s lives, the same way that my books represent mine. 

I don’t have any good answers for this conundrum of technology co-existing with literature, though its a question I’ll be considering in the days and years to come. I’d love to hear your thoughts and comments if you’d like to share them.     

books, career, entrepreneurship, job

Ladies Who Launch

Christa Avampato

I am in the midst of reading the book Ladies Who Launch. It’s part guide book, part inspirational story collection for women interested in entrepreneurship. In the uncertain times we’re now in, I’m thinking a lot about diversification. Traditionally, we get a job, we work hard, and pay for life from the salary of that job. In times of recession, which just today economists officially figured out we’re in, there’s a lot of talk about the importance of diversity in our investment portfolios. But what about in the ways we take in money. Isn’t it safer, and perhaps even advantageous, to have multiple sources of income? Companies diversify their products and services. Shouldn’t we, as average earners and consumers, do the same?


This book is about helping women to think about launching as a continuous pursuit. And that launch can revolve around a business idea, a project (personal or professional), a relationship. It draws its strength from encouraging women to get out in the world and stay active. I was a little skeptical at first, though I put my best foot forward and dove into the book after reading so many good reviews. 

After making notes throughout the afternoon on Sunday and considering questions like “What do I want my typical day to look like?” and “What would I do if I had no limitations and boundaries of any kind?”, I noticed that my step was a little lighter today. The things that may have upset me on other days didn’t phase me at all. And I noticed that I was bolder than normal, speaking my mind and sharing my views of even the most staid and traditional ways of doing things. 

There really is magic in thinking about ourselves as the CEO of Me, Inc. To think of our lives in a constant state of launching. Oscar Wilde said, “We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.” While I don’t think of my life as “in the gutter”, I understand his point. We might feel down-trodden by the news of recession, by the political situation around the world, by the violence and sadness that stretches across the news waves these days. This idea of launching, of taking flight, has the ability to lift us up. It empowers us and allows us to retake control of our lives. The very thought of launching allows us to let what ails and pains us to fall away. We begin to look at the opportunities before us rather than the challenges. Or better yet, we suddenly become able to look at the challenges and launch opportunity from them.          
books, career, malcolm gladwell, passion, success, work, work ethic

10,000 hours

Christa Avampato

Malcolm Gladwell just released a new book, Outliers. He takes a look at the lives, circumstances, and personality traits of remarkably successful, productive people who make a significant impact in the world. One point that I found particularly interesting is his views on intelligence and diligence.

A certain level of intelligence and education gets an individual to a certain degree of success. However, to get any further, it’s actually diligence that carries them. Specifically 10,000 hours of diligence in our chosen field is absolutely necessary if we wish to make a significant impact there. Now, just putting in the hours toiling away in a cube is not a sure-fire plan. You still need that degree of intelligence, and 10,000 hours in the minimum investment necessary.

This particular stat caught my interest because I, like many in my generation, am a job hopper. I have been blessed to have discovered one good opportunity after another in very quick succession. I see a greener pasture and I go for it. That’s not to say that every move was a marvelous idea. Most were, though there were some duds to. What is true is that they have all been critical component of a very interesting path that I built for myself.

Now I have a job in a field that utilizes all of the skills I amassed through a variety of different jobs. All the time I put in at my other positions provided the experience to get me to this place, but my accumulation of those 10,000 hours began only recently. Perhaps without knowing it, Malcolm Gladwell made a very profound statement directly to my generation. “Hop around to find your passion. That’s fine. But once you find that passion it takes staying power to make it to the top of the heap.” Wise counsel, intended or not, and I’m very grateful to him for it.

books, government, history, Obama, politics

A time for geniuses

Christa Avampato

Traditionally, grade A educations have been more prevalent in elite, affluent circles. But the tide may be turning on that trend – Obama could do for high-quality education what Target did for design. He could make it desired by, and possible for, all.


This past week I had lunch one day with a group of people I don’t know well. We were discussing the election and one of my lunch companions said, “Who would ever want to be President at a time like this?” This morning, I was watching Meet the Press. Doris Kearns Goodwin, Presidential historian and author of Team of Rivals, quoted Abigail Adams when asked about how Obama will govern with all of the problems he is facing. “These are times that a genius wants to live.” If only I had access to that quote during my lunch. 

And the same could be said of anyone who runs any kind of team, any kind of company. The challenge, the fun is rolling up our sleeves when things are messy and in disarray and setting them straight again. It’s in the churn that we find our new direction. Abigail Adams was right — this is a time that a genius wants to live. And I would add, it is also a time when a genius wants to lead. Thank goodness we had the sense and foresight to elect one.      

books, career, corporation, literature, women, writer

Rise up and reach down

Christa Avampato

Last week I heard Ursula Burns, President of Xerox, speak. Like President Obama, she calls herself an unlikely candidate to the President of a company like Xerox. She was raised on the Lower East Side of Manhattan, went to school at Brooklyn Poly, and has never accomplished a single thing on the life to-do list she created as a young student. What she has done is become a shining example of achievement and the use of adversity as a tool for advancement rather than an excuse for set-backs.

Of all the topics she discussed with us this week, there is one quote that stands out in my mind. Like me, she is a fan of author Anna Quindlen. She heard Quindlen speak a few years ago and reminds herself of Quindlen’s favorite quote that she uses to close every talk. When asked about her motto in life, Quindlen says, “Rise up and reach down.” Strive to get ahead, and take others with you.

In these times when so many people are concerned about their jobs, their financial stability, and their future prospects for success, it can be tough to imagine rising up. At the moment, they’re just trying to tread water. But rising up can mean something more than just advancing our careers. Rising up is what we did on Tuesday – regardless of the candidates we voted for, simply going out to vote is a form of rising up. Going to the leadership at our companies with innovative ideas to save on costs, delight and support customers, or diversify our offerings – that’s rising up, too. Speaking out, getting involved, lending our time, funding, and support in our communities – that is rising up.

There is something to be said for being part of a rising tide that lifts all boats. If I am successful, that is a win for every demographic that I belong to: women, Generation X, people who put themselves through school, my alma maters (Penn and UVA). Ursula Burns calls it “winning because of everything I am, not in spite of it. My race, my gender, my demographics are certainly involved in how successful I am because they make me who I am.”

Barack Obama’s victory on Tuesday was a victory for community organizers, Democrats, blacks, those of mixed races, youth, social media users, those who value and exhibit eloquence, people who seek to educate themselves to improve their lots in life. Everything that he is, “a mutt” as he called himself yesterday in his first press conference since his win on Tuesday, made his victory possible. And with his signature humility and ability to unite people from every walk of life, he took us with him. He exemplifies Quindlen’s and Burns’s ideal of rising up and reaching down. We would all do well to live by this example.

books, education, letter, writer, writing, youth

A Letter to My Younger Self

Christa Avampato

I just finished reading “What Now?” by Ann Pachett. It is her graduation speech to the students of Sarah Lawrence, her alma mater. She talks about crossroads and decisions and happy coincidences. It made me think about a book I read about two years ago called “What I Know Now: Letter to My Younger Self” where a variety of women write letters to themselves when they were younger.

I wrote my own letter to my younger self as part of a final project in business school for a leadership class. I realized I’ve never posted it to this blog, and I went back to read it today. Not only is it a letter to my younger self – it’s a good reminder of how I should be living every day. The letter pertains to many of the principles we learned in the class, the main premise being that if you start every day with 94 out of 100 points, the way a gymnast starts every routine, how will you get to 100? This idea is adapted from Peter Vidmar’s, part of the US Olympic gymnastics team in the 1980’s, motivational speeches that he gives all over the world.

I hope you’ll share your letter here as well.

“Dear Bella,
How are you going to get the other 6? Extend for 2. Take risks for another 2. Be creative to get to 100. Decide what about you remains rock solid and what changes you must make if you are to develop the potential you represent. What really matters?

Denial, passivity, collusion, and habits will try to obstruct your path to change. Work through these phases by trusting life, by trusting that when a door closes, a window opens. Change is about loss. It may be years before you understand why some losses are necessary in order to achieve greater wins down the road. Do not fear – help is on the way. Do not wait for trauma, hurt, or pain to make necessary changes; work toward clearly perceiving a better way.

Disappointment is not the fault of others; it is the result of your own premature cognitive commitment. Don’t be so quick to ignore or dismiss the logs and rocks. Understanding their motivations, or lack thereof, will hold the key to your growth.

Be wary of the boxes: those you put yourself in, those you put others in, those others put you in, and those you allow others to put you in. You must decide which boxes hold your truth.

What vision of the future will sustain you through the valleys of your life and then help you climb to the summits? You choose your energy level, enthusiasm, and sense of hopefulness. Trust is gained by behaving trustworthy.

Eliminate “but” from your vocabulary because everything that comes before it is a lie; replace it with the powerful word “and”.

People will tell you that you feel too much, trust too much, and believe in dreams too much. Smile at them and walk on – feeling, trusting, and believing. Because you feel, you think, and therefore you’re unabashedly, delightfully, and magically exactly who you’re meant to be.
Believing is seeing.

Love,
Christa”