Author: Christa Avampato

The short of it: Writer. Health, education, and art advocate. Theater and film producer. Visual artist. Product geek. Proud alumnae of the University of Pennsylvania (BA) and the Darden School of Business at the University of Virginia (MBA). Inspired by ancient wisdom & modern tech. Proliferator of goodness. Opener of doors. Friend to animals. Fan of creative work in all its wondrous forms. I use my business skills to create passion projects that build a better world. I’ve been called the happiest New Yorker, and I try hard to live up to that title every day. The long of it: My career has stretched across Capitol Hill, Broadway theatre, education, nonprofit fundraising, health and wellness, and Fortune 500 companies in retail, media, entertainment, technology, and financial services. I’ve been a product developer and product manager, theater manager, strategic consultant, marketer, voice over artist, , teacher, and fundraiser. I use my business and storytelling to support and sustain passion projects that build a better world. In every experience, I’ve used my sense of and respect for elegant design to develop meaningful products, services, programs, and events. While building a business career, I also built a strong portfolio as a journalist, novelist, freelance writer, interviewer, presenter, and public speaker. My writing has appeared in The Washington Post, The Huffington Post, PBS.org, Boston.com, Royal Media Partners publications, and The Motley Fool on a wide range of topics including business, technology, science, health, education, culture, and lifestyle. I have also been an invited speaker at SXSW, Teach for America, Avon headquarters, Games for Change, NYU, Columbia University, Hunter College, and the Alzheimer’s Foundation of America. The first book in my young adult book series, Emerson Page and Where the Light Enters, was acquired by a publisher and launched in November 2017. I’m currently working on the second book in the series. A recovering multi-tasker, I’m equally at home in front of my Mac, on my yoga mat, walking my rescue dog, Phineas, traveling with a purpose, or practicing the high-art of people watching. I also cut up small bits of paper and put them back together as a collage artist. My company: I’m bringing together all of my business and creative career paths as the Founder of Double or Nothing Media: • I craft products, programs, and projects that make a difference; • I build the business plans that make what I craft financially sustainable; • I tell the stories that matter about the people, places, and products that inspire me. Follow my adventures on Twitter at https://twitter.com/christanyc and Instagram at https://instagram.com/christarosenyc.
personality, psychology, relationships, women, work

Step 257: 10 Scientific Findings About the Differences Between the Male and Female Brains

Christa Avampato

“Men and women have to stop blaming one another for their differences, and there really are differences.” ~ Barbara Annis

I went to a talk today with authors Barbara Annis and John Gray, leading authorities on how to get the sexes to understand one another and work together. Barbara Annis has just published the book Leadership and the Sexes, and John Gray is the author of the New York Times Bestseller Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.

They uncovered some surprising research currently being conducted about the male and female brains, and then used that research to formulate strategies for men and women to use together to create better work environments. Here are the top 10 points of interest that I took away from their presentation:

1.) Under stress, women remember more details and men remember fewer details. In general, women have better memories than men. When he tells you he really doesn’t remember, he’s telling the truth!

2.) Women can speak and listen simultaneously because the capability to listen is housed in multiple areas of their brains. The male brain is better equipped to focus solely on speaking or listening because all of their listening ability is housed in one area of their brains. So the pause between his listening and speaking is legit – give him the time to process.

3.) Women are more susceptible to stress and the average woman at work experiences 2X the amount of stress that men do. To compensate women have more endurance to continue to function under stress, however this increased stress and desire to continue to perform under stress causes many health problems in women. Ladies, get to yoga class, take a walk, meditate. You need to cut your stress levels!

4.) When men feel stressed, they slow down and do less. This helps them process information during stressful times. Women actually speed up under stress and do more. This is detrimental to women’s well-being. Ladies, take a tip from the guys – in times of stress, take a step back, breath, and relax.

5.) Under stress, men seek space to sort out the situation independently. Women seek understanding and turn to others when stressed. In connection, stress among men drops when they disconnect from others. Women’s stress level increases when they are disconnected from other people. In times of stress, give people what they need to feel better.

6.) Men prefer to be left alone at work, and find well-being in the workplace from more responsibility and opportunity. Women have a desire to feel connected to their employers and co-workers. The #1 reason women leave corporations is not for work-life balance but because they don’t feel valued by their employer. Corporate America, listening is and under-rated skill and you need to encourage it among your teams.

7.) Single men take more risks than married men, and fail more as a result. However, I believe in the axioms, “nothing ventured, nothing gained” and “fortune rewards the bold.” There’s nothing wrong with calculated risk.

8.) Testosterone does not increase aggressive behavior, but lowers reaction time. Under stress, men are likely to make quicker decisions as a result. Guys, take more time with decisions when possible. You’ll be happier in the long-run.

9.) Because of lower testosterone levels, women tend to weigh consequences of actions more often than men do. Guys, consequences matter – take a bit more time with your choices.

10.) To create a better working environment, men and women have to stop blaming one another for their differences and seek to really understand one another.

These differences have their benefits and should be celebrated! We’ll all be happier and healthier as a result – we have so much to learn from one another.

adventure, choices, determination, government, journey, politics, risk

Step 256: What We Can Learn from Rahm Emanuel

Christa Avampato

“If you run before the wind, you can’t take off. You’ve got to turn into it. Face it. The thing you push against is the thing that lifts you up.” ~ Delta commercial

Rahm Emanuel has a reputation for being a tough administrator who gets the job done. He runs a tight ship as an ambitious First Mate. I’m sure somewhere in the history books, long after the Obama administration has left the White House, there will be some chapter somewhere that recalls Emanuel’s role as the White House Chief of Staff. More than likely, the average American will not remember him nor his critical role in making the Obama administration run. Even now, do we know how much policy he has influenced with a heavy hand? At best, we know that he is a trusted adviser to our President, though we don’t know his advice.

Last week Mayor Daley announced that he will not seek re-election, and rumors begin to circulate that Emanuel may exit the White House to return to his beloved city of Chicago to become the star of his own life and career, as opposed to someone’s manager who looks on from the shadows of the wings. I thought about that image when I met with Brian last week. Brian has been a supportive and unrelenting advocate for me and my career. He thinks I have spent enough time in a supporting role and that it’s time for me to step out on my own in some way. He voices that message on a regular basis.

I tell him I need some more time to save money, to grow my experience base. Brian’s all for pragmatism, though he’s more in favor of setting the stage for how we’d like our creativity to organize itself. In other words, if we tell our creativity we’re just not ready and we need a plan B then our creativity will believe us and get going on a brilliant plan B. Our creativity, in large part, does what we tell it to do.

The trouble is that I’m an excellent supporting character. I’m really good at juggling priorities and managing around challenging personalities. I’ve made a successful career out of improving situations that very much-needed improving, and until I decide to work from a clean slate, I will continue to be part of the clean-up crew. We get the circumstances we ask for, or at least the ones that we’re willing to tolerate.

We all deserve the opportunity to be the stars of our own lives, to test our own ideas, and to make our own independent contributions to the world. As much as Rahm Emanuel may respect his boss and believe in the Obama agenda, he doesn’t call the shots. At the end of the day, they’re called for him to execute against. That’s the gig that comes with being a Chief of Staff and not the Chief. Of course he’s considering the possibility of becoming the mayor of his hometown. And with that inspiration, we should all think about what stage it is that we’d like to star on – we all deserve a little piece of the spotlight in our own lives. Turn into the wind, and see what lifts you up. For Emanuel, it’s the city of Chicago. What is it for you?

art, change, museum, New York City

Step 255: Matisse’s Unfinished Works

Christa Avampato

I went to MoMA today to see the special Matisse exhibition. It covers the period between 1913 and 1917 when Matisse began to find his groove that became his hallmark – the voluptuous figures, bold colors, and intentionally unfinished quality of seemingly simplistic forms. It is a collection of work gathered from all over the world, from a variety of public and private collections, that is a rare treat that showcases an artist as he gains confidence in his own voice. So often art exhibitions show an artist’s work that made him or her famous, that fully expresses a specific point of view. MoMA’s Matisse exhibit however shows an artist in the process of becoming.

My friends, Allan, Sara, Andrew, and I all commented on how much of Matisse’s work in the exhibit remains intentionally unfinished. He made very few comments on the work while he was alive, leaving the interpretation to his audience. On the audio tour, curators from MoMA and the Art Institute of Chicago commented on the work, largely guessing at what Matisse meant to say with each piece as he re-worked each canvas several times with different color schemes, adding new characters, and then taking them away, changing background colors and landscapes. Matisse never seemed to be satisfied or finished with a work. Rather, he just moved on.

Matisse’s work got me thinking about how we all work the different canvases of our lives. We move on from jobs, relationships, cities where we live, leaving each with some mark that we were there and yet giving them the freedom to evolve long after we’ve gone, all remaining open to interpretation of what our presence meant and what might have happened if we had stayed on longer. Maybe Matisse in his early career had it right not just about art, but about life – we are all in the process of becoming, no work (or life) is ever quite finished, and it all deserves celebration and reflection.

Matisse: Radical Invention, 1913 – 1917 is on exhibit at MoMA until October 11, 2010.

The photo above depicts Henri Matisse painting Bathers by a River, May 13, 1913. Photograph by Alvin Langdon Coburn. Courtesy of George Eastman House, International Museum of Photography and Film, Rochester

community, free, justice, New York City, religion

Step 254: A Vigil for 9/11 and Religious Freedom

Christa Avampato

“Sunlight is the best disinfectant.” ~ U.S. Supreme Court Justice Louis Brandeis

Last night I went with my friend, Sara, to a vigil for religious freedom and to commemorate the anniversary of 9/11. I had never seen the sky lights that are lit up to pay homage to the Towers, 2 giant beams that shoot up from the base of where the buildings once stood clear into the sky for as far as the eye can see. Hundreds of people gathered just one block away at Park and Church, holding candles, listening to speeches by religious leaders, and talking with friends. Just around the corner stood the site that will become the Islamic Community Center.

To be honest, the speeches weren’t moving, sometimes inaudible, and the traffic continued to run along Church Street throughout the vigil. What was moving was to hear the message, from the speakers and attendees beside us, that no neighborhood in this country should ever be off-limits to anyone. It sounds like such a simple idea and yet it has caused such controversy in New York and around the country. The argument “how could THOSE people be so insensitive?” has circulated around the Islamic Community Center in newspapers, TV broadcasts, and on the streets on U.S. cities. My response is THOSE people didn’t have anything to do with 9/11. Muslim lives were lost when those Towers fell, too; Muslims the world over are mourning today and everyday just like non-Muslims. If anything that ground on Vesey Street, and anywhere else in this world for that matter, belongs to the global community. We all have a right to be wherever it is we want to be.

What toppled those Towers so tragically 9 years ago today was not Islam or people living in Middle Eastern countries. It wasn’t hatred for Americans, nor was it anger in our foreign policies. What destroyed those Towers and continues to threaten world security is intolerance. By protesting the Islamic Community Center at 51 Park Place, intolerance grows and strengthens. Intolerance, the very idea that has caused our nation and particularly New York City, so much heartache is exactly what the protesters to the Islamic Community Center are propagating. It’s akin to poisoning ourselves with the very thing that others used to harm us.

It was encouraging to be among the group gathered for the vigil last night, sharing candle light and a common belief in true freedom for all people everywhere. I hope that the light we created there goes at least part of the way toward rooting out intolerance and burying it once and for all.

community service, education, New York City, student

Step 253: Get Involved with Student Sponsor Partners and Change the Life of a New York City High School Student

Christa Avampato

I respect and admire nonprofits that create a huge impact in the world by making it easy for volunteers to make a difference. On Thursday, I went to a presentation by Margaret Minson and Faith Botica of Student Sponsor Partners (SSP), a nonprofit that helps at-risk, high-potential public middle school students get a private high school education in New York City. SSP pays the great majority of the tuition for the students while also providing them with a personal mentor to help them through their 4 years of high school at a private school. The results are impressive – 90% of SSP students go on to college. SSP currently has 1,400 students enrolled and over 4,500 graduates.

Mentors meet with their students about once per month, many times through SSP organized events where all of the SSP mentors and students get together. The content of the mentoring runs the gamut from help with school work, career, and college admissions to personal issues with friends, family, and relationships. Mentors play a critical role in the student’s life as 75% of them come from single parent homes in which those parents are working round-the-clock to provide for their families. The students often go without an adult who can guide them and mentor them through their high school years. That’s where SSP Mentors step in. Without SSP, most of these students would surely fall between the cracks and never even realize, much less achieve their potential.

Being a Mentor is an incredible opportunity to truly make a difference in the life of New York City high school students. Because of the incredible corporate sponsorships that SSP has fostered through the years, it is also a tremendous networking opportunity for professionals of all ages in New York City who want to meet other people who care about community service, education, and helping young people succeed.

A Mentor usually mentors the same student all the way through their high school years, though occasionally mentors have to drop from the program because of personal time commitments, geographic moves, etc. SSP is currently looking for Mentors for sophomore – senior high school students who have lost their SSP Mentors and want to build a relationship with a new SSP Mentor. I just signed up to hop onboard. If you’re interested, please visit the organization’s website. Attached to this post, you will also find the brief Mentor application forms. I hope you’ll join me in making a difference for high school students in New York City.

SSP Sponsor Application FINAL.

SSP LexisNexis Screening Solutions Consent Form

children, education, philanthropy, school

Step 252: Donorschoose.org Finds a Hidden Angel

Christa Avampato

I received the article below in an email from Charles Best today about a hidden angel who showed up on the doorstep of Donorschoose.org. Best is the Founder of Donorschoose.org, an organization that link indvidual donors to specific classroom needs via a well-organized, elegant web interface. The email is a reprint of an article that appeared in the September 1, 2010 issue of the San Francisco Chronicle

The story is a testament to the incredible gift that one person can give the world, and an inspiring act of generosity for a very deserving organization. It’s also a much needed message for nonprofit leaders – if you provide an incredible service, funding is out there.

“Out of the blue, in the middle of a recession, the phone rang.

What would it cost, the caller asked the founder of DonorsChoose.org, to fund every California teacher’s wish list posted on the Web site?

The founder, Charles Best, thought perhaps the female caller would hang up when he tossed out his best guess: “Something over $1 million,” he told her.

Twelve hours later, the woman, Hilda Yao, executive director of the Claire Giannini Fund, sent Best an e-mail.

It said, in short, OK.

A day later, Yao mailed a check of more than $1.3 million to cover the entire California wish list, 2,233 projects in all, with an extra $100,000 tossed in to help pay for other teacher needs across the country.

The projects funded by the donation range from about $100 to cover pencil sharpeners or paper to thousands of dollars for technology, Best said.

“Use of the word ‘miracle’ is not an overstatement,” Best said Tuesday, a day after 1,000 California teachers were notified that their needs were funded. “I think it’s fair to say it’s the best first day of school they’ve ever had.”

With budget cuts hitting schools hard, teachers and parents are often covering the costs of basic material like pencils or even textbooks as well as things now considered optional in public education such as field trips and art supplies.

Help for teachers
DonorsChoose stepped in to help fill those needs 10 years ago to give K-12 teachers an easily accessible site to post what they need. Contributors can pay for part or all of each “project” requested, focusing on a specific school or subject area or even the type of gift.

The $1.3 million donation is among the largest gifts given by the San Francisco fund and one of the largest received by DonorsChoose.

At San Francisco’s Monroe Elementary School, computer teacher Laura Edeen had several projects posted on DonorsChoose.org. There was a digital camera to replace one that still used floppy disks; a computer with wireless access for a portable classrooms that doesn’t have other Internet access; an art cart; new printers; and the big-ticket, $1,000 licensing rights to a software program the teacher knew worked for kids.

It was a pipe-dream list from a teacher who was trying to keep working technology in her classroom using the equivalent of duct tape and chewing gum.

“I’d been busying myself with wishes, just hoping,” Edeen said.

The $3,000 in wishes came true.

“I actually e-mailed my husband thinking he funded it,” she said laughing, adding she couldn’t imagine how else it was all paid for. “It felt like my birthday yesterday.”

Teacher thinks big
Reaching for the stars, one Bay Area teacher requested $10,000 for 25 netbook laptops to create a traveling computer lab for her school. They’ll be shipped to San Francisco’s Sheridan Elementary soon.

Later Monday, the teacher submitted a new request to DonorsChoose: a computer cart for a traveling computer lab.

“She’s got herself a shower of stars,” Yao said of the teacher. “I’m just so pleased to think this grant has brought so much happiness to such deserving people.”

The fund Yao directs was created in 1998 to honor Claire Giannini Hoffman, the daughter of the founder of Bank of America. Donations have focused on education as well as other issues, including a $3 million gift to the nation’s school libraries from 2002 to 2004, Yao said.

Yao’s mother, Dorothy Yao, the fund’s former trustee, and Claire Giannini both believed education was a penetrating and enduring way to transform lives, she said.

“It makes me feel like I’m doing something to remember two remarkable women in the way they would like to be remembered,” she said. “I’m happier than even some of the teachers.”

Make a difference in a child’s life right now. Take a look at the most urgent project requests on DonorsChoose.org, and give another classroom the best return to school they’ve ever had.

books, design

Step 251: We Do Judge Books By Their Covers

Christa Avampato

I love design, but I’m not a traditionally trained designer. I have a good eye for visual art and a great appreciation for it, but I’m not a trained visual artist. (I’m looking to change those two facts in the coming year but for the moment these statements are indisputable truths. More on my future art plans in a forthcoming post…) My brother-in-law, Kyle, is a truly gifted, trained artist. He has an eye and a heart for creating art and design that the world has got to see or it will be our collective loss. I’m doing my part of get his work out of his head and into the world.

At Dan’s suggestion, I talked to Kyle this weekend about designing a different book cover for my e-book Hope in Progress. I love Dan because he gives me criticism in the kindest, most constructive way possible with sparing a shred of honesty. “I love your book, Christa,” he said to me on the train to Philly. “It’s such great content and you deserve a cover that does the content justice. Get a real designer. They’re worth it.” Noted. Thank you, Dan. (If you don’t have a friend like Dan, please get one. Your life and work will be better for having him as a trusted ally.)

Before pushing out Hope in Progress in a variety of formats in a variety of channels, Kyle is going to whip up that cover art for me to replace my current cover. I told him why I chose the photograph that’s currently on the cover of Hope in Progress and in about 5 seconds flat, Kyle took my verbal description and designed a cover in his head that ran circles around my poor several-hour attempt to choose a font and photo to paste into a Word document. (To her credit, my sister, Weez, had the same color scheme idea as Kyle had thought of before he even said it. Apparently being married to an artist can enhance our artistic point-of-view. Check.) This isn’t surprising – I sent him a couple-line email a few months back about designing a logo for Compass Yoga and 30 minutes later he sent me back a logo that I love. Check it out here.

After talking with him about art over the weekend, I also told Kyle I have another project on tap for him – the book I’m working on that uses the principles of yoga to inform personal finance decisions. I have some fun ideas in mind for visuals, which I will sketch out in stick figures and words, then leave it up to Kyle to work his magic. Dan was right – the value of a visual artist as a collaborator cannot be overestimated. Like Dan’s advice, Kyle’s vision is golden, leaving a halo effect on every creative project he touches. I highly recommend him for your next creative venture. A dab of high design goes a long way.

books, change, community, government, politics

Step 250: An Answered Prayer for the City of Philadelphia

Christa Avampato

On vacation I started reading A Prayer for the City by Buzz Bissinger. The book recounts the history of Philadelphia from 1992-1997 while then-Mayor Ed Rendell (now Governor Rendell of Pennsylvania) held office. The book was published in 1997, one year before my graduation from Penn. Though I was largely unaware of Philadelphia politics aside from the fact that Mayor Rendell presided over a city run largely by corruption, I certainly experienced Philadelphia’s rough exterior as described by Bissinger while I was a student.

I distinctly remember the metal bars on my freshman dorm room windows that made it look more like a prison than the start of a bright college career. And of course I will never forget the homeless man just beyond those bars screaming vulgar obscenities as I rolled my suitcases through the doorway. My mother was horrified. The next day a graduate math student was shot and killed right in the middle of campus, just outside The Castle, which ironically served as Penn’s Community Service House where I was part of a pre-matriculation service program. Freshman women took a self-defense class as part of on-campus programming in the dorms. Locust Walk, the main campus thoroughfare, was lit up by an abundance of blue light phones and Penn Escort Service was heavily encouraged and fully utilized when students needed to walk around the perimeters of campus after midnight. Welcome to Philadelphia circa 1994.

My sophomore year I was mugged in the subway station at Walnut and 37th at knife point by a guy who wanted the cash in my wallet and politely handed it back to me completely intact otherwise. Looking back I think he was more frightened than I was. I remember scrambling up the stairs and running smack into a naval officer who helped me to get to a blue light phone to call for help. The Philadelphia police arrived in moments, storming down into the station, and I never rode the subway again until the very end of my senior year, and only then because my boyfriend at the time was with me. I was sadly not a unique case – I knew countless students who had incidents far worse than mine.

Once I moved into the high-rises at the north end of campus, it was routine to hear gunfire and watch the violence unfold out my window at Billy Bob’s Cheesesteaks as I studied in my apartment very late into the night. A solo walk past 40th Street was unheard of and a trip to the only grocery store, a Safeway dubbed “Scaryway”, had to be a group outing to increase our chances of actually making it back to campus with our groceries. Even that grocery store looked like a fortress – they had built a gate around it so the shopping carts could not be taken from the immediate perimeter of the store, forcing us to grab our groceries from the cart and then squeeze between the bars to get out.

So it was especially heartening to get back to Philly last weekend and see the change that has swept the city. Its rebound is nothing short of miraculous. The Saint Albans area, where Dan and I stayed a few weeks ago, would never have been a destination for me as a Penn student. Nearly every house on that block used to be boarded up, full of loitering by people I’d hope to never run into in any alley, whether at night or in broad daylight. Dan’s friend, Jeremy, drove us through neighborhoods that didn’t even exist 10 years ago. I was overwhelmed by the change, and Dan could scarcely believe the stories I told of vacant lots, littered with broken glass and drug dealers, now made over into Barnes & Noble, Sephora, and restaurants of every variety. It’s as if someone took a bulldozer to Philadelphia and started over.

After I left Penn, I moved to D.C. for 6 months and then headed for New York City, which became the center of my world, leaving Philadelphia as a distant memory. I don’t know much about what happened between 1992 and 1997 that laid the groundwork for all of the change that I could see taking shape when I graduated from Penn in 1998 that has now come to fruition over a decade later. I’m looking forward to finding out what Philadelphia did to turn itself around and I’m grateful to Mr. Bissinger for setting it down in print with such elegant description. What I know for certain is that Rendell fulfilled the promise he made during his 1992 inaugural speech, “Change must surely come…this city cannot only survive; it can come alive again…I cannot and will not falter. We cannot and will not fail.” From my vantage point, the people of Philadelphia have passed with flying colors.

celebration, creative process, determination, frustration, work

Step 249: 5 Ways to Bring Great Ideas to Life

Christa Avampato

“Genius begins great works; labor alone finishes them.” ~ Joseph Joubert, French essayist

The past week I’ve been blown away by all of the opportunity and possibility around us. From new Linked-In and Twitter connections, to chance meetings, to introductions by colleagues, I’m connecting with potential on a new level. After many of these initial connections, I’m getting follow-up requests and invitations for continued conversations about working together on new and exciting projects. After each connection, I’ve been taking time to consider one very critical question: can the project be driven to completion?

By nature, I get tremendously excited about new opportunities and possibilities. New is invigorating. And there are so many new opportunities out there that it would be very easy to constantly be distracted by the next latest, greatest project. Finishing is tough work. It requires determination and plenty of time and effort. So how do we keep that excitement of something new when we’re halfway through? How do we keep our energy up to complete the job?

Here are some ideas that I’ve found helpful:

1.) Remind yourself why the idea was exciting to start with. Having e a mission-based approach to a project can make any mundane tasks for meaningful. Recognize that every project will have some parts (paperwork, etc.) that are not thrilling but absolutely necessary to making the opportunity a reality.

2.) Share the load. Working on a project with others (both on the creative and mundane tasks) will make them go faster and many times can make them more enjoyable. It’s especially important when halfway through a project to connect with others that can keep our energy up while we drive the project to completion. If we can get others to help us with the mundane pieces, then all the better.

3.) Keep mementos of past successes in sight at all times. When we’re halfway through a project it’s important to remember all of our other accomplishments that were made possible by our hard work. Those past successes help us see our current project as another celebration-in-the-making.

4.) Celebrate small victories. We often think of celebrations as endings. Why not make celebration a regular activity that commemorates milestones along the way? Getting each piece of a project done contributes to the whole so we should take a moment to congratulate ourselves on being one step closer to our achievement.

5.) File the new ideas for the future. I had a conversation many years ago with a would-be writer who said he could never complete a book because he always got distracted by his next book idea. He had a trail of unfinished books that he could never get anyone else interested in. New ideas can be a distraction and a way to procrastinate, even if they’re entirely valid. Don’t ignore them – one of them may very well be your next big thing. So jot it down and keep it tucked away in a file of what to do next once the task at hand is complete.

How do you keep going when you’re in the midst of a project?

change, learning, Life, relationships, values

Step 248: 8 Lessons From My Apartment Building Fire, One Year Later

Christa Avampato

Today marks the 1 year anniversary of my apartment building fire. In some ways, I cannot believe it’s gone by so quickly and in other ways I can’t believe how much change has happened in a year. So net-net, it feels like it has been a productive year with a lot of learning. Sometimes I still shiver at the thought of the circumstances and what could have happened if everything had gone horribly wrong, if I hadn’t followed my instincts. I wrote a series of posts on this blog that recount the difficult days after the fire. They begin with my post on September 5, 2009.

The building has reopened and the walls have been painted over a pristine white. You’d never know that one year ago a fire ripped through the hallways, but every time I walk by it, I still feel the gravity of what happened there one year ago. To commemorate and celebrate the occasion, here are the top 10 things I learned as a result of my fire:

1.) I now trust my gut 99% of the time. Trusting my gut on September 5, 2009 saved my life. I had every reason to discount the feeling of dread that I felt in my kitchen when I heard my heat pipes ticking. Something told me to look a little closer, and that’s when I saw the tiles on the floor heaving. I quickly got to my stairs, without over-thinking what was happening, and despite the thick black smoke, I kept running for my life. Had I delayed even a few minutes or second-guessed my gut, the consequences would have been dire.

2.) It’s okay to ask for help. In the days after my fire, I really tried to pretend that everything was fine, that I was fine, that I was strong and invincible. The truth is that I’m strong, and human. I needed help to sort out the trauma that followed my fire and started to see Brian, my life coach. We started on a journey of self-discovery together and it is one of the most rewarding relationships of my life.

3.) Someone who wants me to move through a traumatic situation at lightning speed for his own sake is not worth having in my life. At the time of my fire, I was dating a guy whom I had really fallen for. He was a prince the day of the fire, though as soon as he saw that this wasn’t just a little blip on the radar screen of my life, he showed the less appealing side of his character. Things quickly unraveled and while we tried to maintain some kind of relationship right after our romance ended, I quickly walked away and have never looked back. That departure started a year-long effort to only have people in my life who believe that love and friendship are a two-way street.

4.) There really is no time like the present. I was sort of floating through life a year ago. I had a job that was okay, but that I honestly felt no passion for. I had been thinking of moving to a more mission-based organization, and now one year later I’m fully on that path. Destination unknown, but I know I’m moving in the right direction now by taking steps toward moving my career toward public education.

5.) Empathy is a must in all of my relationships. At the time of my fire, I worked for a woman who can only be described as wretched. She was not the least bit sympathetic toward my situation, and actually gave me a hard time about taking one day off to work with my insurance company and loaded up my plate with additional work. That moment was a definite breaking point for me, and I decided from then on that I would never work with that type of person again. Empathy is now a non-negotiable in every area of my life. (I got out of the situation with that former boss several months later, and found my way to a better internal position at my company.)

6.) True friends can celebrate with you and cry with you. I’ve had people in my life who are fair weather friends and friends who only show up when the chips are down. Real friends are the ones who show up in both kinds of situations, and everything in between. I’m blessed to have so many people in my life who fit that description.

7.) Your stuff really is just stuff. I lost almost all of my material belongings in the fire. A few things survived, but I essentially had to rebuild my material life. I had gotten to a point where I really valued my material possessions. Now, it’s just not that important to me. I only replaced the essentials – I just didn’t want “things” anymore, and I still don’t. I down-sized in a big way and feel lighter. Even if everything went up in smoke again, so long as my health and the safety of others were preserved, I really would be okay. I am not what I own. (However, PLEASE go get renter’s insurance. The peace of my mind that my Liberty Mutual policy brought me was immense. I had enough emotional fall-out to deal with from the fire itself, so not having to deal with a major financial crisis on top of it was worth every penny of my $200 annual policy.)

8.) This too shall pass. And by “this”, I mean everything. Everything always changes, the good, the bad, and the indifferent. My yoga practice has helped me accept and embrace this fact that my fire so brilliantly illuminated. And it led me to pursue my yoga teacher certification and the founding of Compass Yoga to share these insights.

Not a bad year of learning. And despite the unfortunate circumstances, my fire is the gift that keeps on giving. The lessons I learned as a result have brought tremendous peace and gratitude to my life. It couldn’t have been more unexpected, and looking back I can’t say I’d wish it hadn’t happened. It woke me up, which is exactly what I needed.

The image above is a picture of one of the hallways in my apartment building after the fire.