“I like living. I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow; but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing.” ~Agatha Christie
To make sure I never forget to take my meds and supplements, I parse them out each week. Today, I parsed out my last 2 pills of letrozole and tossed the empty bottle in this photo into the recycling bin. And I smiled and cried.
I’m grateful for its service; it’s kept me alive and cancer-free for the 5 years and 3 months I’ve taken it. And I’m so looking forward to bidding it farewell; the painful and difficult physical, mental, and emotional side effects have been a daily struggle to bear. And I have mostly carried them in silence so they wouldn’t overtake me.
Inching closer to ending one chapter and beginning another, I’ve felt a shift. That something in me is changing. That my small corner of the world around me is changing. That this is about so much more than switching medications.
It’s about getting to begin again. To reshape my life. To build back better, from the inside out. In the immortal words of Whitesnake, I don’t know where I’m going but I sure know where I’ve been. And I can’t wait to see what lies ahead. It will be grand just because I get to live it. I’m ready for an adventure.
Christa Avampato 