Month: July 2015

balance, beauty, books, choices, creative process, writing

This just in: The beautiful and terrible balance of the writing process

Christa Avampato
And so it goes...
And so it goes…

“Here is the world. Beautiful and terrible things will happen. Don’t be afraid.”

I’m now digging into the next phase of the editing process for my novel, Where the Light Enters. I thought it would be easier than the first draft and the first set of edits, but the refinement process carries its own gnarly tasks. I’m now getting into critical detail where research and intense imagination are critical, when self-doubt is around every corner making it easy to throw in the towel. Self-doubt is really starting to get ticked off that I’m not giving up, and so its voice grows louder and its criticism more biting.

Quotes like the one above remind me that every process, every experience contains a certain amount of beautiful and terrible, light and darkness, frustration and ease. It’s a difficult and dicey balance to negotiate, but if we want to build anything of value and substance, whether it’s a piece of art, a relationship, or a book, we have to be willing to take the good with the bad. There will be times that we never want to end and times that all we want to do is give up. That seesaw is part and parcel to the creation process.

When giving up on anything feels especially enticing, I remind myself that I’m not perfect, that no one’s perfect, and so if something truly comes from my heart and gut then it will carry imperfection, too. That helps me keep going. It calms the small voice of self-doubt that is always present and wants me to abandon ship. I understand its fear and concern, and I also know that this same fear and concern is what helps me do the very best I can at any moment.

Back to writing…

art, love, music, theatre

This just in: Once is now playing at Washington D.C.’s Kennedy Center

Christa Avampato
The touring cast of the musical Once

Love can change our lives in an instant. Suddenly our view of the world, of ourselves, of what’s behind us, and what’s ahead of us shifts. It stays with us even after the faces and circumstances change. Love endures. That’s the message of the musical Once—that love can open doors where there were only walls. It can chart new beginnings and reawaken what we thought was long since dead.

For two and a half hours I sat in the Eisenhower Theater completely enthralled by the dexterity of the cast, expertly led by Stuart Ward and Dani de Waal. With inventive staging, soaring music, raucous dancing, and raw emotion, they constantly shuttled me between despair and elation, and I didn’t mind that rollercoaster ride one bit. The journey reminded me of that beautiful quote by Rilke:

“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue…the point is, to live everything…perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.”

Once doesn’t have any answers about the many conundrums of love nor how to resolve all of the complex questions that live deep within the layers of our hearts. What it does show us is that we must allow ourselves to feel everything, and be both glad and grateful for all of it.

Once runs through August 16th in Washington D.C. at The Kennedy Center’s Eisenhower Theater.

loss, love, relationships

This just in: Be mindful of where and with whom you place your energy

Christa Avampato
Give love where it's appreciated
Give love where it’s appreciated

I’ve learned to value people over products, experiences over possessions, and time over money. The greatest harvest grows where and with whom we place our minds and our hearts. Make sure the company you keep is as good as the company you provide. The path to care and concern is a two-way street. Don’t make someone a priority when to them you are merely an option. You deserve better. We all do.

choices, feelings, free, freedom

This just in: Letting go

Christa Avampato
Floating fairytale by Rick Nadal. http://rick-nadal.deviantart.com/art/floating-fairytale-324922824
Floating fairytale by Rick Nadal. http://rick-nadal.deviantart.com/art/floating-fairytale-324922824

Letting go is a choice rooted in the desire to be free from emotions that do us more harm than good, and the circumstances that cause those emotions. They’re often deeply entrenched within us and that familiarity, no matter if those emotions are positive or negative, breeds a certain level of comfort. We’re sure of those emotions, even if we don’t necessarily like them. To release them is to drift out into the unknown. Here’s what I’m learning: when you let go, you don’t sink. You float.

celebration, holiday

This just in: Happy birthday, America!

Christa Avampato
D.C. fireworks
D.C. fireworks

Birthdays are declarations that we’re here now and in some way, however small, the world will be different as a result of our presence. I’ll be watching the fireworks on the Mall tonight with friends (provided the rain holds off) and when those colors flash across the sky I’m going to think about how lucky we are that we get to live in a country that fervently believes in the power of new beginnings and our ability to make a difference.

art, creative process, creativity

This just in: Live life like a sculptor carves stone

Christa Avampato
A sculptor's capable hands make use of imperfections
A sculptor’s capable hands make use of imperfections

Rarely is a sculptor handed a perfect piece of stone to carve a work of art. Often the stone is craggy, jagged, and discolored in some spots. Imperfections abound. While there is the impulse to do away with all of those imperfections, the capable sculptor sees them as gifts to be worked into the piece rather than subtracted from it. He or she doesn’t fight them, but cherishes them and uses them.

Our lives are like these stones. If we have lived, really lived, we have been broken. Sometimes repeatedly. When there’s a fresh break, healing can feel like Oz, a destination we can see but never reach. But if we can sit with these disappointments, massive and painful as they are, we find that Oz is not so unattainable after all. If we can really let the light flow freely through them, if we can find a way to learn the hard lessons that brought them to us, then these misfortunes are as valuable as every triumph we ever achieve. Maybe even more so. We can make meaning out of them just as the sculptor draws meaning from every stone, imperfect as it may be.

story, theatre, Washington, writer, writing

This just in: I’m taking a storytelling class at SpeakeasyDC

Christa Avampato
SpeakeasyDC
SpeakeasyDC

Anne Lamott once said, “If you have the courage to free yourself, take a risk and tell your story with the hope of freeing someone else.” So, here’s hoping. Yesterday I decided to take a risk and so something that really scares me: I signed up for a storytelling class at SpeakeasyDC (soon to be renamed Story District), a nonprofit here in D.C. that specializes in the art and science of storytelling. On July 20th, I’ll start the 5-week intensive program that will culminate in a public performance.

This class will help me discover a whole new community of like-minded people in D.C. while also helping to foster a time of personal growth, discovery, and creativity along with a new outlet for my writing. SpeakeasyDC has a show on Tuesday, July 14th, entitled The Charismatic Leader: Stories about those we follow for the right & wrong reasons. Looking forward to seeing the finished product and then learning the behind-the-scenes work that brings it to life. Here’s to taking on tasks that scare the wits out of us! They make us feel alive.

action, change

This just in: Progress is something we build

Christa Avampato
Progress
Progress

Progress isn’t something that just happens over time. It’s something we have to build, especially when we find ourselves back at square one. I’m terrible at endings, even the ones that are good for me. It feels like a defeat. It’s very hard, almost impossible, for me to walk away from something or someone I care about, even when I know it’s the right thing to do. I think I can fix anything, and anyone, and that’s just not true. So in my email I keep a list of all the reasons that this ending had to come to pass. Whenever I get wistful, I open that list and remind myself that I’m better now and will continue to get a little better every day from now on. One foot in front of the other. One day at a time.