Month: February 2015

friendship, home

This just in: It’s okay to wing it – a lesson from my first D.C. dinner party

Christa Avampato
Welcome!
Welcome!

One of my very dearest friends was in town on Friday. Though I’ve only been in D.C. for a week, I didn’t hesitate to invite her and her boyfriend over for dinner. She’s spending a year abroad and I’ve so missed being in the same city with her.

As soon as I extended the offer and she accepted, I panicked a bit. My place isn’t all set up. Heck, I don’t have any cookware, plates, silverware, glasses. I don’t even have a table. You know, all the things you need to actually cook and host a dinner. On top of that I’m running around trying to get my life set up, and interviewing for jobs. Am I really in a position to host a dinner at my home? Should I just order takeout? Should I email her right back and say we should meet at a local restaurant? What am I doing? These were the thoughts that ran through my mind.

Then I took a deep breath. I decided to improv it. I stacked up a few of my unpacked boxes and threw a cloth down over them. Voilà – end tables! I made some tasty Mexican food – easy to make vegetarian and ready in half an hour. I turned on the jazz station on my TV and we had instant dinner music. We sat on the couches, holding out plates and glasses. It was wonderful—comfy, fun, and relaxing. This is exactly the way I hope everyone feels when they come to my home. As long as hosting is done with love, it doesn’t need to be fancy. Come as you are is the only dress code in my home.

action, determination, writer, writing

This just in: Don’t let rejection stop you from writing and submitting your work

Christa Avampato
Rise!
Rise!

One of the best things about starting my career in theater is that I got used to rejection very early on in my life. Now every once in a while I get disappointed, but in a few minutes (literally) I always make the choice to channel that energy into something positive. I rise up out of the ashes of rejection, more determined than ever.

This scenario played out recently when I started to submit personal essays for publication in literary journals. One essay in particular, Help in the Ashes, was very important to me. It was about how I came full circle in my healing after my apartment building fire. With a lot of help, time, and support from my therapist and friends, I learned to be grateful for that day, to see it as my own Alive Day. It also helped me come to terms with a lot of other difficult circumstances in my past.

I submitted Help in the Ashes to about 10 publications before it was accepted. It will be published by the literary journal Earl of Plaid on April 1st in their “Blue Collar Royalty” issue. So if you’re in the midst of rejection, particularly as a writer, please don’t give up. Rejection can be hard to take, but don’t let it stop you. The world needs your voice and ideas just as much as it needs anyone else’s. Rise up and keep going.

action, adventure, choices, future, Life

This just in: Your life is in your hands

Christa Avampato
Your life is in your hands
Your life is in your hands

“The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on, or blame. The gift is yours — it is an amazing journey — and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins.” ~Bob Moawad, author

This is a magical moment. It’s also scary as hell. All of a sudden you wake up and you realize your life is really all up to you. You steer it. You make the choices. You build your own road. It’s a lot of responsibility. It’s also one of the greatest privileges of being an adult. You aren’t trapped. Starting right now, you can make choices to change anything and everything in your life. The road to where you want to go may be long and winding but you can start your journey in that direction right now. One tiny step leads to another.

change, choices, creativity, grateful, gratitude, Life, love

This just in: How to let the light in

Christa Avampato
Live in the light
Live in the light

“Ring the bells that still can ring. Forget your perfect offering. There is a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in.” ~Leonard Cohen

This quote has been an important guidepost for me for many months, now more than ever. It inspired the title of my novel, Where the Light Enters, and it continues to guide me through the many changes that I’m experiencing in my life now.

No matter what’s happening to us and around us, it’s important for us to continue to ring the bells that still can ring. Smile and love and help where and when and how we can. Our actions don’t need to be perfect; we don’t need to be perfect. We can’t be. We live in a world that is wholly imperfect. All we can do is our best, and that means continuing to show up and put our hearts and souls into the act of creating the best lives we can, for ourselves and the people we love.

And that’s the trick of it all, that’s how the light gets in. It gets in with love and gratitude and actions guided by them. It gets in when we let ourselves we vulnerable, when we allow ourselves to learn and change and grow, not in spite of adversity, but because of it. That’s how we make a good life.

animals, creativity, dogs, story

This just in: Anne Lamott and Brandon McMillan taught me another lesson about the power of stories

Christa Avampato
Stories save us
Stories save us

“After nourishment, shelter, and companionship, stories are the thing we need most in the world.” ~Philip Pullman

My dog, Phin, is adjusting to our new apartment. Sometimes he gets some anxiety that manifests in barking as he’s adjusting to new circumstances so we have a whole routine we’ve used many times to help him adjusted as quickly as possible. (Luckily that’s the only way it manifests!) Brandon McMillan, the host of the show Lucky Dog, recently did an episode about a dog who had severe separation anxiety and he suggested a layering technique that included recording his voice and playing it back in a loop when he left the dog home alone. I decided to give it a try.

I recorded some stories to play for Phin as I left him in our new place for the first time yesterday. I recorded Anne Lamott essays, J.K. Rowling’s speech when she was the graduation speaker at Harvard a few years ago, and a few of my own pieces. When I turned on the loop, Phin curled up in a blanket in front of my laptop, put his head down, and went to sleep. Amazing!

Stories are always a comfort to me. To read them, to write them, to revisit them when I need their encouragement and inspiration the most is a privilege I never take for granted. I never realized that reading them out loud could be so comforting for Phin, too. Philip Pullman was absolutely right—we all need a good story. Dogs included.

apartment, home, Washington

This just in: Getting my land legs back after a year at sea

Christa Avampato
Solid ground straight ahead!
Solid ground straight ahead!

As I finished unpacking the last of my boxes, I realized I haven’t had my own space in almost a year. My apartment building in New York was converted to condos so my lease expired on May 1, 2014. After that I went to a temporary sublet and then to Florida to spend some time with my family.

During this time I’ve felt like I was adrift at sea. As I did my first grocery shopping in D.C. today, I realized I was starting to get my land legs back. I didn’t understand how much energy it took to conform to someone else’s space until I moved into my new D.C. apartment last week. Now in my own space, I’ve got more energy, more peace, than ever.

In yoga, the root chakra is often associated with our home. It’s where we feel most comfortable. It’s our refuge and a fountain of strength because it’s the foundation for everything else. When all is well in the home, we have a greater chance of all being well in life. And so I’m finding this to be truer for me than ever before.

Constantly being in someone else’s space was certainly a challenging adventure. I didn’t know how much I missed the solid ground of my own space until I didn’t have it. For a year everything’s been shifting. Now the pieces of my life that have been freely floating are falling into lockstep with one another. I don’t regret the floating—the sublet and spending time with my family were the best options I knew of at the time. Now I’m glad to be setting my own rhythm, and I’ll never take it for granted again.

change, moving, Washington

This just in: Taking life one day at a time as I start over

Christa Avampato
One day at a time

I made myself a little crazy on Friday racing around trying to finish all those tasks that come with starting over—unpack, organize, get groceries, and figure out where the heck I am. I’ve done this many times before. All of a sudden I’m looking for things I used to have, things that cost more to move than they do to buy new – a colander, a roll of tape, furniture – and I’m faced with the task of re-acquiring.

A trip to Bed, Bath & Beyond always brings out my reflective side. Maybe it’s all those colorful kitchen gadgets that I never knew I needed. (An avocado dicer? How have I lived without THAT for so long?) My recent trip there was no exception. Suddenly, the weight of starting over, again, hit me hard. It quickly passed but having it at all left me a little shaken.

I focused on my breath. I put one foot in front of the other as I weaved my cart through the aisles. The tightness in my chest gave way to something like freedom mixed with curiosity and a dash of confusion. How did I get here? And how do I get there, to that place where I feel settled and stable again?

Breathing, walking. That’s all I needed. It’s usually all I ever need to get through any flavor of fear. Starting over is a process that takes time. I can’t get it all done today, but someday soon I’ll look back for a moment and say, “Wow. I did that. I made this life and I love it.” And that shining moment that I know is on the way keeps me going; it helps me enjoy the journey.

humor, Life, love, Washington

This just in: Finally beginning to understand the “better together” principle

Christa Avampato
Better together
Better together

I’m a fiercely independent person. I like to be able to take care of myself, and I take a lot of pride in that ability. Yesterday I had to run a few errands in D.C. by car—not my preferred mode of transportation. In the bitter cold. With my dog, Phin, in tow.The packages I picked up were heavy. Phin was uncomfortable in the weather (as was everyone.) It wasn’t easy, but I got it done.

When I parked the car and got back to my apartment, an unfamiliar thought ran through my head: “It sure would be nice to have someone to share the load with.” I sat up a little straighter and looked around. Did I really just think that? Phin looked at me with his big marble eyes as if to say, “Yes. Yes you did.”

First time that idea’s ever crossed my mind so I guess there really is a first time for everything. And maybe here in D.C. I’m going to find that someone who can share the load of life with me in a loving, supportive, and helpful way. And if he could have a sense of humor about it all, too, then I’d be sold on the idea. Time will tell.

grateful, gratitude, happiness, health

This just in: Waking up in Washington and inspired by Dr. Oliver Sacks

Christa Avampato
Dr. Oliver Sacks
Dr. Oliver Sacks

Today, I woke up in my new home in Washington D.C. It’s freezing, and yet I don’t feel the cold at all. My smile and heart are warm because I know I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be: in a city of people working to make the world a better place in their own special way.

Right before I started my last leg of the drive to D.C., I read Dr. Oliver Sacks’s essay in The New York Times in which he explained that he has terminal cancer. It’s one of the most positive, uplifting pieces of writing I’ve ever read. I’ve long been an admirer of his work and life, and this essay explains why. (The incredible movie Awakenings, starring Robin Williams, is based on his book about his early career.) Though he is now face-to-face with death, he remains joyful, grateful, and hopeful for the world that he will not be a part of in a few short months.

If Dr. Sacks can feel like this while standing on death’s doorstep, then we can all feel it every minute of every day. Regardless of the weather, regardless of how we feel, regardless of how others may behave. We can be happy, grateful, and glad to be alive. That’s my goal, today and every day.

generosity, gifts

This just in: What will you give the world?

Christa Avampato
What will you give the world?
What will you give the world?

In the last few weeks I’ve learned about the power of one. One person can’t do everything, but everyone can do something. And that something can either make our corner of the world better or more difficult. We choose our impact through our actions and words, and the impact we make affects everyone around us. Will we help people dream big? Will we encourage people to craft lives they love and treasure? Will we live in a way that shows people what’s possible? I hope for this more than anything—that all the choices I make, regardless of the outcomes, help others to take more chances and let go of everything that doesn’t serve them well. Life’s too short for anything else.