“Man is without a doubt the most interesting fool there is.” ~ Mark Twain
A few weeks ago, I wrote about my conversation with Brian that involved the futility of living on a ledge. At the time, I thought the name of that ledge was the job that I currently have that pays my bills and makes the financing of all of my personal projects possible. That job had grown stale and boring to me. I felt like time was slipping away from me in a wasteful way and so I decided to look around, up and away from my current job and on to new pastures.
As it turned out, I was on a very different ledge. I was offered the opportunity to move on to a new company. I was all set to take it though the offer was not exactly what I had expected. The title of the job had changed, as had the compensation, and there was a sticky direct report situation to deal with that was created by potential future boss. I was asked to share the burden of cleaning up the mess left behind. I didn’t know what to do, so I paused and consulted. I am blessed with an incredible inner circle of loyal, honest, and exceedingly brilliant friends. I contacted a number of them with my conundrum.
The advice was split down the middle: some felt I should absolutely jump to the new role; others had a truly visceral action to my potential departure for this possibly greener pasture that wasn’t of my design. My friend, Susan, a career and personal branding guru, was an exceptionally shining voice. (Her book The Right Job, Right Now: The Complete Toolkit for Finding Your Perfect Career is literally my career bible.) She did something more than offer yes / no advice. She gave me a way to think about opportunities. She asked me to look at the job I wanted, not the options in front of me, and use that as my yardstick. Put another way, what mattered most was the life I imagined and wanted to live, not the opportunities created by others. I was looking in the wrong direction – outward instead of inward. The focus needs to be on the road I want to pave, not on the road that is laid out before me.
My friend, Lon, offered up sage advice as well. He’s had 34 years of Fortune 50 company experience. He has seen it all and then some. He cautioned against the sale pitch of the new job and asked me to truly see what was being masked. While I believe the new company had every wish of keeping my best intentions in mind, they are truthfully in a bind. They need me more than I need them, and I was not getting enough in return for my efforts.
The new job promised a review to change my title and salary in 6 months. Lon reminded me that promises are empty until fulfilled, no matter how earnestly they are initially crafted. People are fickle; they change their minds so all we can truly know are their current words and actions. Now is certain; later is all guesswork, no matter how educated those guesses may be. Lon helped me to see that the ledge I had really been on the well-paved and traveled road built by someone else. The courageous jump I’ve been looking for starts by using the fuel I have in my current job to get me to a new place of my own making.
I received loads of other phenomenal advice from friends and colleagues and I plan to reveal the nuggets of wisdom from each one, paying tribute to each friend, in my posts this week and next. They will be as helpful to you as they were to me. I call out Lon and Susan in this post because their advice hangs together so well, and reminded me so much of advice (and foreshadowing!) that I received 4 years ago from my then-boss and forever-mentor, Bob G. I’ve detailed it before in other posts, but it bears repeating: the difference of my generation to earlier generations is that we will bet on ourselves, not companies, to make our careers.
I didn’t believe Bob at the time. I had never thought of myself as an entrepreneur; I didn’t yet know that I wanted to be at the helm. I thought I needed others to design the structure of my career. I didn’t yet know my ability and desire to craft and design; Bob did and it is his advice, like Susan’s and Lon’s, that I will never forget and always be grateful for.
Christa Avampato 
You truly have good friends — talented, insightful, and honest.
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I am ridiculously blessed!
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I love reading your blog Christa and so glad you’re sticking around with me :). Here’s your “nugget” i’m choosing as my status today “The focus needs to be on the road I want to pave, not on the road that is laid out before me.” Totally stealing it…..
much ❤
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Urs, I’m so honored that you the quote your FB status. I’m blushing over my “nugget”. Glad I’m sticking with you, too, pal!
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What great advice! I really like the quote Ursula picked too. 🙂 I will have to check out Susan’s book. It’s interesting that you never thought of yourself as an entrepeneur. I know I have never really wanted to “work for myself” but my path seems to be inching toward that as at least part of the tapestry. Thanks for sharing your process, reasoning and the advice you received – it’s very generous of you.
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Hi MJ – absolutely get Susan’s book. I keep the career kaleidoscope I created through her book at my desk. It’s a powerful tool for me and she’s an incredible friend. I share her advice here because I feel like it’s just too wonderful to keep to myself. It needs to be shared. 🙂
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You have created for yourself a wonderful network of friends and mentors! That is such an amazing accomplishment in itself. They are there to keep reminding you of you 🙂 I love that.
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I am super lucky to have all of you in my life, Trish. It is an amazing and powerful thing to have, and I’m grateful for it every day.
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Thanks for the shout out Christa! The other important thing to know as references by all the frends who give you advice is the great support network you have. Getting varying perspectives is important in the end though, it’s your life and your decision. And the right one,is the one you make
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Hi Susan – thank YOU for the stupendous advice and a way of looking at a career. The concept of comparing a job offer to the job we really want was mind-expanding for me. More people need your advice and so I shared your counsel here to open that window for people who need to climb through.
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Christa,
Thank you.
However, change for the sake of change may not be what you are looking for. The new job may not be what you expect. Also, the job description and attendant issues can change over time, so maybe it is better not to be too hasty. You may find your new line of work just as boring as the old one; your boss and colleagues may not even be as supportive; there are so many variables at play here.
Just my humble opinion, by the way. Adding my two cent’s worth.
In the end, you are not looking for a “job” anyway. Better to stick with your current job and make the leap to Compass Yoga when the timing is right and you feel the pieces of the puzzle have morphed into a picture. Trust you intuition: you will know when to quit your current job.
Maybe it would be wise to give yourself more time and space before you make a decison. Finally, hope things work out for you. Cheers.
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Hi Archan,
Wise words and thoughts, as always. It is better for me to stick with my current job and work diligently on Compass and on my writing – the activities that give me real joy. You’re right that I’m not looking for a job – I’m looking to do the things that matter to me and the world. As my friend, Sharni, says – the grass is greener where we water it.
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Thank you for your kinds words Christa! And thanks to Ursula for picking out that nugget – truly a great quote. I’m going to have to read Susan’s book. Sounds truly worthwhile. And thanks to Archan -“Better to stick with your current job and make the leap to Compass Yoga when the timing is right and you feel the pieces of the puzzle have morphed into a picture. Trust your intuition: you will know when to quit your current job” is great advice and filled with hope for the rest of us!
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Lon – thank YOU for all of the incredible advice in this situation, and always. I’m feeling better and better about the decision each day, so I know it was the right one to make. And yes, Archan always has good lines that stick with me. He’s a wise man and we’re lucky to have him here in this online community.
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