From http://kidologist.com/2010/11/“In Buddhism, there’s a really beautiful sentiment about strife: The souls that love us the most are the ones who are our greatest adversaries in life.” ~ Brian
Can we be grateful for really difficult circumstances? And I don’t mean being able to articulate sayings like “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” or “every cloud has a silver living”. I’m not asking if we can adopt the idea of “chin up”, “look on the bright side”, or “see opportunity in every difficulty”. I want more than that.
Brian and I have started to talk about the possibility of actually being grateful that my childhood home was in a near-constant state of distress. This isn’t making lemonade out of lemons. This is about actually wanting the lemons. I’m not there yet, but the idea is something that I could never even conceive of before now. If it were in my power, I would go back and change my circumstances. I would roll the dice again, knowing that my life as it is now would not be the same had I grown up in a house with less trauma. I’m still too angry, even after all these years, to let that dream go just yet. I still feel cheated.
I feel that I am moving toward transcendence, very close to being able to release the guilt, shame, remorse, and yes, anger. In order for me to fulfill my dharma, and in turn to release my father from his in this lifetime, I’m going to have to move beyond forgiveness. There is more work to do after forgiveness. In order for both of us to be truly free, I will eventually need to bid my dad’s spirit a fond farewell with a sincere thank you for teaching me exactly what my soul needed to learn, exactly when I needed it. That’s a tough thing to imagine coming to fruition, but I’m going to give it a try.
The short of it:
Writer. Health, education, and art advocate. Theater and film producer. Visual artist. Product geek. Proud alumnae of the University of Pennsylvania (BA) and the Darden School of Business at the University of Virginia (MBA). Inspired by ancient wisdom & modern tech. Proliferator of goodness. Opener of doors. Friend to animals. Fan of creative work in all its wondrous forms. I use my business skills to create passion projects that build a better world. I’ve been called the happiest New Yorker, and I try hard to live up to that title every day.
The long of it:
My career has stretched across Capitol Hill, Broadway theatre, education, nonprofit fundraising, health and wellness, and Fortune 500 companies in retail, media, entertainment, technology, and financial services. I’ve been a product developer and product manager, theater manager, strategic consultant, marketer, voice over artist, , teacher, and fundraiser. I use my business and storytelling to support and sustain passion projects that build a better world. In every experience, I’ve used my sense of and respect for elegant design to develop meaningful products, services, programs, and events.
While building a business career, I also built a strong portfolio as a journalist, novelist, freelance writer, interviewer, presenter, and public speaker. My writing has appeared in The Washington Post, The Huffington Post, PBS.org, Boston.com, Royal Media Partners publications, and The Motley Fool on a wide range of topics including business, technology, science, health, education, culture, and lifestyle. I have also been an invited speaker at SXSW, Teach for America, Avon headquarters, Games for Change, NYU, Columbia University, Hunter College, and the Alzheimer’s Foundation of America. The first book in my young adult book series, Emerson Page and Where the Light Enters, was acquired by a publisher and launched in November 2017. I’m currently working on the second book in the series.
A recovering multi-tasker, I’m equally at home in front of my Mac, on my yoga mat, walking my rescue dog, Phineas, traveling with a purpose, or practicing the high-art of people watching. I also cut up small bits of paper and put them back together as a collage artist.
My company:
I’m bringing together all of my business and creative career paths as the Founder of Double or Nothing Media:
• I craft products, programs, and projects that make a difference;
• I build the business plans that make what I craft financially sustainable;
• I tell the stories that matter about the people, places, and products that inspire me.
Follow my adventures on Twitter at https://twitter.com/christanyc and Instagram at https://instagram.com/christarosenyc.
View all posts by Christa Avampato
2 thoughts on “Beginning: Beyond Transcendence”
Christa,
Nice post, as usual, and I enjoyed reading it.
However, if it is any consolation, you are in good company. Millions of people in this world suffer from such negative emotions. In a sense, we are sailing in the same boat. The reasons for each individual, however, may be different, but we all struggle with these unresolved issues.
Every time you make the effort–in whatever way you can–you are trying to deal with these negative feelings and unresolved emotions and traumatic issues. That is great about you and should make you feel proud about what you are doing here.
I think so many of us get caught up with the banalities and trivilaities of our daily lives that we do not bother to ponder about our essential humanity. We need to work on ourselves a whole lot more and treat ourselves with compassion. We need empathy and I think you are on the right track.
Every time you share, every time you write, every time you practice yoga or meditation, every time you help others and allow others to help you, etc. well, you are making progress.
Every small step you take will allow you to purge yourself of these negative feelings. I also need this catharsis in my life. Sometimes, the way to feel whole again is just to go outside for a casual stroll or a swim in the gym or play with your puppy.
Hi Archan,
I love that idea of us all sailing in the same boat. Gosh, it is so true. We try so hard to be perfect for one another, to appear invincible and unshakeable. And yet, we are all going through it. I am learning, slowly but surely, that the bravest thing in the world is honesty.
Christa Avampato 
Christa,
Nice post, as usual, and I enjoyed reading it.
However, if it is any consolation, you are in good company. Millions of people in this world suffer from such negative emotions. In a sense, we are sailing in the same boat. The reasons for each individual, however, may be different, but we all struggle with these unresolved issues.
Every time you make the effort–in whatever way you can–you are trying to deal with these negative feelings and unresolved emotions and traumatic issues. That is great about you and should make you feel proud about what you are doing here.
I think so many of us get caught up with the banalities and trivilaities of our daily lives that we do not bother to ponder about our essential humanity. We need to work on ourselves a whole lot more and treat ourselves with compassion. We need empathy and I think you are on the right track.
Every time you share, every time you write, every time you practice yoga or meditation, every time you help others and allow others to help you, etc. well, you are making progress.
Every small step you take will allow you to purge yourself of these negative feelings. I also need this catharsis in my life. Sometimes, the way to feel whole again is just to go outside for a casual stroll or a swim in the gym or play with your puppy.
Cheers.
LikeLike
Hi Archan,
I love that idea of us all sailing in the same boat. Gosh, it is so true. We try so hard to be perfect for one another, to appear invincible and unshakeable. And yet, we are all going through it. I am learning, slowly but surely, that the bravest thing in the world is honesty.
LikeLike