From http://kidologist.com/2010/11/“In Buddhism, there’s a really beautiful sentiment about strife: The souls that love us the most are the ones who are our greatest adversaries in life.” ~ Brian
Can we be grateful for really difficult circumstances? And I don’t mean being able to articulate sayings like “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” or “every cloud has a silver living”. I’m not asking if we can adopt the idea of “chin up”, “look on the bright side”, or “see opportunity in every difficulty”. I want more than that.
Brian and I have started to talk about the possibility of actually being grateful that my childhood home was in a near-constant state of distress. This isn’t making lemonade out of lemons. This is about actually wanting the lemons. I’m not there yet, but the idea is something that I could never even conceive of before now. If it were in my power, I would go back and change my circumstances. I would roll the dice again, knowing that my life as it is now would not be the same had I grown up in a house with less trauma. I’m still too angry, even after all these years, to let that dream go just yet. I still feel cheated.
I feel that I am moving toward transcendence, very close to being able to release the guilt, shame, remorse, and yes, anger. In order for me to fulfill my dharma, and in turn to release my father from his in this lifetime, I’m going to have to move beyond forgiveness. There is more work to do after forgiveness. In order for both of us to be truly free, I will eventually need to bid my dad’s spirit a fond farewell with a sincere thank you for teaching me exactly what my soul needed to learn, exactly when I needed it. That’s a tough thing to imagine coming to fruition, but I’m going to give it a try.
IN BRIEF
Author, journalist, digital product manager, and licensed New York City tour guide. Creator and host of NYC's Secrets and Lies. Alumna of the University of Pennsylvania (BA), the Darden School of Business at the University of Virginia (MBA), Arizona State University (Biomimicry), and the University of Cambridge (MSt in Sustainability Leadership).
I build digital media platforms, report on urban climate resilience and biodiversity, and produce live narrative experiences that connect communities to history, nature, and place.
THE DEEP DIVE
My work centers on a single thread: building systems and stories that foster deep connection to our shared world. Across digital streaming, environmental reporting, and live civic storytelling, I design experiences that help people understand complex ideas and the environments around them.
DIGITAL PRODUCT STRATEGY & MEDIA LEADERSHIP
At Carnegie Hall, I serve as Digital Product Manager, leading product strategy, operations, and technical delivery for the video streaming platform Carnegie Hall+. I translate artistic mission into scalable, high-performance streaming architecture that reaches audiences globally. Previously, I led agile product and delivery teams across operations and compliance at American Express, managed Broadway theatrical productions and national tours, and guided strategic initiatives across cultural institutions.
ENVIRONMENTAL JOURNALISM & AUTHORSHIP
As a freelance journalist, I investigate how living systems, urban infrastructure, and human culture intersect. My reported features on urban decarbonization, biodiversity, coastal resilience, and biomimicry appear in publications including Smithsonian Magazine, The Washington Post, Mongabay, Natural History Magazine, and Foreign Policy Magazine. In fiction, I write the Emerson Page young adult novel series, alongside upcoming historical fiction and nonfiction works on New York history, mythology, and human resilience. I also write Togetherhood, a LinkedIn newsletter focused on urban ecology and community restoration, and co-host the podcast Frameworks in the Wild.
LIVE EXPERIENCE & CIVIC STORYTELLING
As a licensed New York City tour guide and live event producer, I transform urban landscapes into shared narrative encounters. I created, produce, and host NYC's Secrets and Lies, an interactive live storytelling series staged across cultural landmarks including the New York Transit Museum, the South Street Seaport Museum, and the historic tall ship Wavertree. I also design and lead site-specific walking tours exploring coastal ecology, food history, and neighborhood evolution, often with partners at Climate Week NYC and the Natural Areas Conservancy.
DOUBLE OR NOTHING MEDIA
Through my independent production studio, Double or Nothing Media, I develop ventures across media, ecology, and public history:
Digital Products & Strategy: Architecting scalable digital platforms, streaming experiences, and operational models for mission-driven institutions.
Environmental Reporting & Publications: Delivering long-form reporting, books, and newsletters grounded in climate resilience and regenerative design.
Site-Specific Live Storytelling: Producing immersive live shows and educational walking tours that engage public audiences in community history.
CONNECT
Website & Production Hub: doubleornothingmedia.com and christaavampato.com
Newsletter: Togetherhood on LinkedIn - linkedin.com/newsletters/togetherhood-7273771832221089792/
Instagram & Threads: @christarosenyc
Emerson Page Novels: emersonpagebook.wordpress.com/
View all posts by Christa Avampato
2 thoughts on “Beginning: Beyond Transcendence”
Christa,
Nice post, as usual, and I enjoyed reading it.
However, if it is any consolation, you are in good company. Millions of people in this world suffer from such negative emotions. In a sense, we are sailing in the same boat. The reasons for each individual, however, may be different, but we all struggle with these unresolved issues.
Every time you make the effort–in whatever way you can–you are trying to deal with these negative feelings and unresolved emotions and traumatic issues. That is great about you and should make you feel proud about what you are doing here.
I think so many of us get caught up with the banalities and trivilaities of our daily lives that we do not bother to ponder about our essential humanity. We need to work on ourselves a whole lot more and treat ourselves with compassion. We need empathy and I think you are on the right track.
Every time you share, every time you write, every time you practice yoga or meditation, every time you help others and allow others to help you, etc. well, you are making progress.
Every small step you take will allow you to purge yourself of these negative feelings. I also need this catharsis in my life. Sometimes, the way to feel whole again is just to go outside for a casual stroll or a swim in the gym or play with your puppy.
Hi Archan,
I love that idea of us all sailing in the same boat. Gosh, it is so true. We try so hard to be perfect for one another, to appear invincible and unshakeable. And yet, we are all going through it. I am learning, slowly but surely, that the bravest thing in the world is honesty.
Christa,
Nice post, as usual, and I enjoyed reading it.
However, if it is any consolation, you are in good company. Millions of people in this world suffer from such negative emotions. In a sense, we are sailing in the same boat. The reasons for each individual, however, may be different, but we all struggle with these unresolved issues.
Every time you make the effort–in whatever way you can–you are trying to deal with these negative feelings and unresolved emotions and traumatic issues. That is great about you and should make you feel proud about what you are doing here.
I think so many of us get caught up with the banalities and trivilaities of our daily lives that we do not bother to ponder about our essential humanity. We need to work on ourselves a whole lot more and treat ourselves with compassion. We need empathy and I think you are on the right track.
Every time you share, every time you write, every time you practice yoga or meditation, every time you help others and allow others to help you, etc. well, you are making progress.
Every small step you take will allow you to purge yourself of these negative feelings. I also need this catharsis in my life. Sometimes, the way to feel whole again is just to go outside for a casual stroll or a swim in the gym or play with your puppy.
Cheers.
LikeLike
Hi Archan,
I love that idea of us all sailing in the same boat. Gosh, it is so true. We try so hard to be perfect for one another, to appear invincible and unshakeable. And yet, we are all going through it. I am learning, slowly but surely, that the bravest thing in the world is honesty.
LikeLike