Tag: postaday2011

animals, dogs, learning

Beginning: Phin & I Continue Our Work on Separation Anxiety

Christa Avampato

Phin practices his best "stay"
Phin and I attended our second semi-annual gathering of dachshunds at Washington Square Park. The event is put on the last Saturday in April and the first Saturday in October by the Dachshund Friendship Circle. I’m sure that parents of other breeds are equally passionate about their pups, though I’ve never seen people go ga-ga over their canine pals as much as dachshund owners do. It’s also a great place to get support and advice about the breed, which I have needed in abundance.

The way of the dachshund
They are a temperamental breed to be sure. They are born with plenty of personality despite their small stature and with that can come a lot of anxiousness. Over the past weeks Phin has had some trouble with separation anxiety. He doesn’t destroy anything in the house; he just barks a lot when I leave. It is something that he wrestles with on and off, and though he’s mostly settled in now to our home (I’ve had him for almost 8 months) on occasion he still has some tough days. Most of my neighbors are dog owners and are very supportive. One is not, and is quite vocal about it. Though I’ve apologized profusely in the past for any disturbance Phin causes from time to time, she never lets up. He sneezes and I get a text message about it – so much so that I finally blocked her from being able to text or call me. Thankfully she’s moving in a few short months.

A tough week leads to further action
I knew Phin was safe in the apartment. I just didn’t know how to get him through his latest spell of separation anxiety, which is the hardest behavior to help a dog get past. At the last Dachshund Festival we met Gregg Karl, who is a professional dog trainer who specializes in dachshunds. (He has 2 of his own). He’s become a friend and invaluable resource over the last few months. On Tuesday I gave him a call because I was really worried about Phin’s latest bout of anxiety. To be fair, we’ve had painters in our hallways all week and we went out of town over the weekend, two things that certainly set off Phin’s anxiety. Still, he seemed more anxious than he would normally be even under these stressful circumstances.

Gregg Karl, our dog trainer, comes to the rescue
Gregg was full of tips including:

– A toy called a Buster Cube and Zuke’s treats to keep him busy.

– He also had me start teaching Phin the “Stay” command and practicing coming and going out of the house many, many times. “Stay” he mastered beautifully. The coming and going exercise is not so easy. I noticed Phin’s anxiety has increased over the week after we began the training and panicked a little. Gregg assured me that this is also extremely normal. Once they begin formal training, almost all dogs will be confused and anxious until they learn that the training is no big deal. Phin is only at the very early stages.

Friends Trish and Janet lend a hand, too
My friend, Trish, an animal behaviorist, recommended that I try lavender spray to calm him down and give the apartment a relaxed feel. That seemed to help some, too. My friend, Janet, another one of my dog whisperers, recommended mixing up Phin’s walking routing to stimulate his mind and taking him for short trips around the city (like the one to the dachshund festival!) to help ease any anxiety he has after a trip. That also seemed to help him this week. I’m so grateful for their advice!

Up the exercise
I gave up running a few years ago as my yoga practice deepened. I need to have these knees of mine as long as possible and running seemed to be wearing on them. This was a big change for me as I used to run regularly and in 2001 ran the Chicago marathon. Now that the weather is getting nicer (finally!), I’ve noticed Phin has much more energy and a walk does not tire him out. One of the best remedies to separation anxiety is to exercise a dog so that he is very tired every time you leave. With all of his anxious energy gone, you’ll walk out the door and he’ll go to sleep. So, it’s back to running with Phin as my running buddy. So far this fix has worked beautifully. He loves the run and is thoroughly exhausted by the time we get home. It’s good for my health to get some more cardio and it’s good for Phin, too. Win-win.

More company
I was previously scheduling my dog walker to just take him in the middle of the day when I couldn’t get home right after work. Now, I’ve asked her to come by every day I go to work no matter what time I’ll be home. This gets him used to being with someone else who cares for him more often and he gets to see his canine pals more often which always has a very pacifying affect on him.

A new vet helps us, too
I’ve been rather unhappy with our vet. He doesn’t have much of a bedside manner and Phin is a special dog with special issues and we need a vet who understands that. In the park I met several people who recommended Westside Veterinary Clinic and we went to see them last weekend. Dr. Lewis was very happy to hear about Gregg’s tips, and she suggested that while he’s getting through this latest bout it may be a good idea to put him on a very, very low dose medicine to help ease the anxiety. I was worried about taking this step though I have to say that Phin is much calmer with the medicine and his quality of life is much higher. Plus, the dose is so low that he hasn’t lost any of his personality. The medicine cuts the anxiety without inducing any other side effects.

It takes a village to raise a dachshund
Gregg, Janet, Trish, my dog walker, and my vet continue to assure me that getting a dog through separation anxiety requires confidence and patience in boatloads. They promised me that Phin would come around, and eventually would become a well-adjusted, relaxed pup no matter what circumstances he’s in. Trauma reveals itself in stages, whether we’re talking about trauma in people or in animals.

It feels more like I’m raising a dog than training a dog, and I’ve learned so much along this road. Thank goodness for my village of advisors. No matter how much I want to speed through the process, I remind myself that in every phase of this journey Phin and I have much to learn, and we’ll both be better off for it.

love, relationships

Beginning: How I Got Over a Fear of Loving

Christa Avampato

“Your relationship needs to be a source of joy. Don’t forget that.” ~ Brian

At 35, I finally feel ready to begin a lifelong relationship. This was a long road – about a decade longer than I imagined it would be. For a while I thought that I might just date forever because it seemed like it would be much more fun than all the ways that a bigger commitment could go wrong. I’ve seen too many friends and family members have their hearts ripped apart my a romantic commitment gone wrong. It was hard enough to watch these relationships end as an outsider to the situation. I wasn’t sure I could handle it on my own. Despite my sometimes-too-tough exterior, there’s a fairly intense fear of heartbreak and disappointment locked up inside me.

I talked to Brian about this last week about my recent dating experiences. I’ve gotten quite good at figuring out very quickly if there’s real potential with a guy I’m dating. Brian had me make up a list of my nonnegotiables in an effort to build up my perception skills in dating. That’s been working well, but I just can’t believe how many frogs there are! And then he said something I had forgotten in all the hustle and bustle of dating. Meeting the right person and being with him is a source of joy. I was so focused on my list that I forgot to visualize what it will be like to be with that right guy. Focusing on the work of dating, I lost the picture of what it’s like to be with the right person.

With the idea of joy, something strange happened. The fear I felt about falling in love again just melted. The possibility of heartbreak and disappointment didn’t seem so scary anymore when I concentrated on making the choices in my life that bring more joy. Sometimes that means moving toward something or someone and sometimes that means moving away. It’s all just a pursuit of what creates the most joy. And yes sometimes those choices are tough and are cause for compromise or change, but in the end they all serve the same purpose. We’re just trying to make our days as meaningful as they can be.

books, business, communication

Beginning: Book Review – The Language of Trust

Christa Avampato

“Are you really listening or are you just waiting for your turn to talk?” ~ Robert Montgomery

Do you remember a time when trust was where a relationship started? I have trouble remembering those times. I’m sure there was a time when trust was the norm, in the same way that our legal system once started with “innocent until proven guilty.” Now, we are a society of skeptics and cynics, but can you blame us? We feel cheated and lied to by companies, by our government, by our employers or former employers. The recession exposed a very sad and dangerous truth – we participated in an economy and a way of doing business that really was too good to be true. Double-digit positive returns are tough to sustain. We knew that, but we went along for the ride. In Margaret Heffernan’s words, we willed ourselves into blindness. We feel let don and disappointed and we have no one to blame but ourselves, which is too much to bear so we blame everyone else.

Enter Michael Masloansky, Scott West, Gary DeMoss, and David Saylor with the book The Language of Trust: Selling Ideas in a World of Skeptics. In all of our economics mayhem, we forgot how to talk to people in an authentic way. We forgot how to put others first. We’ve been so busy making excuses that we forgot to take responsibility. This book is meant to help us get back on track in the post-trust era (PTE).

It’s got some tough advice for us that is not going to be easy to hear, though not as hard to act upon as we might think. It gives us language guidelines under the very simple yet priceless principle that people believe what they understand. In other words, “Don’t be a wonk.” Drop the jargon and communicate in real language, not language that you think gives you some kind of desired image. And no one is interested in why you did something that was not in their best interest so drop that game altogether; it’s a battle that’s lost before it’s even started. Take responsibility and do better going forward.

The book lays out real world examples of communication gone right (Jetblue and Conservation International) and communications gone wrong (Toyota). It breaks down what worked so beautifully in the successful examples and how the unsuccessful examples can be improved. These examples give marketers (and that includes all of us who work on our own personal brand as well) a way to compare our current communication tactics against these examples, essentially creating a map for us to communicate more authentically with our audience.

This book should be well-worn after continuous consultation by marketers of all stripes. We’re living in a new age where trust must be earned at every moment. It’s a world of missteps from well-intentioned actions. In some ways, we may feel like we can’t win in this world of skeptics. Don’t throw in the towel. You can win – it’s just going to take a whole lot more work that it did prior to the PTE. The Language of Trust can help. Available in bookstores starting today.

community, philanthropy

Beginning: How to Help the Rebuilding Efforts in Alabama

Christa Avampato

Devastation in Tuscaloosa. http://www.stamfordadvocate.com
Last week a horrifying set of tornadoes ripped through Alabama, Mississippi, Georgia, and Arkansas. The pictures devastating, to say nothing of the stories behind those images. There were a lot of resources available for other recent natural disasters so that all of us not effected knew how and where to lend a helping hand and our dollars. I’ve seen surprisingly few for this latest disaster, and decided to share what I’ve been learning. Here’s how you can help:

– American Red Cross: The Red Cross is providing relief to people across the hardest-hit states, providing shelter and relief to survivors. To support these efforts, donations can be made to the American Red Cross Disaster Relief. Visit Red Cross’s website, www.redcross.org, or call 1-800-RED-CROSS to make a donation. Checks can be sent to the American Red Cross, P.O. Box 37243, Washington, D.C. 20013.

– Convoy of Hope: Convoy of Hope disaster response team members, aided by volunteers who have contributed more than 3,000 hours, are operating a distribution in Birmingham, Alabama. Two additional points of distribution were activated Saturday, April 30, 2011 in Tuscaloosa, Alabama, including a site at a Baptist church on the University of Alabama campus. Convoy of Hope distribution sites will provide food, water and supplies to those affected by the disaster. So far, over 1 million pounds of product have been provided or slated for delivery to the affected areas. To learn more about their work and how you can support their efforts, visit their website.

– Salvation Army: The Salvation Army has provided food, hydration and other services to more than 6,000 survivors and first responders in the southeastern United States since the April tornadoes. The Army will continue to do so in the hardest hit cities, including Tuscaloosa and Birmingham, AL; Cleveland and Chattanooga, TN; Kemper County, Webster County, and Oxford, MS and others. To support the challenges facing survivors, The Salvation Army’s Florida Division deployed 10 mobile canteens and a team of 30 volunteers and staff to assist in the relief efforts in Tuscaloosa and Birmingham.

You can donate to the Salvation Army by going to their website, disaster.salvationarmyusa.org, or by calling 1-800-SAL-ARMY. Text “GIVE” to 80888 to make a $10 donation to assist the organization’s disaster response efforts. Or send a check to: The Salvation Army Disaster Relief, P.O. Box 100339, Atlanta, GA 30384-0339.

– World Vision: World Vision’s domestic relief team is preparing to deploy this Saturday morning from the Dallas area to Alabama and nearby states hardest-hit by last night’s storms. They plan to work with local churches and other organizations to identify families with limited means, families left destitute, or people who may have difficulty accessing other assistance. To support these efforts, visit www.worldvision.org to donate to call 888.56.CHILD (24453).

Alabama Governor’s Emergency Relief Fund: The Fund, part of the Alabama Governor’s Office of Faith-Based and Community Initiatives, provides additional recovery assistance to Alabama residents who have exhausted all other coverage provided by relief organizations, government programs and insurance. To donate, visit their online donation page.

Roll Tide Relief
My friend, Preston, sent me a link to this site that was sent out by the University Alabama and a link to donate to the UA Acts of Kindness fund that helps out students affected by the tornado.

Tzu Chi Foundation
MJ, an active and generous reader of this blog, sent me this link. Tzu Chi Foundation for Compassion and Relief helps victims of natural disaster all over the world in addition to their work within the U.S.
http://www.us.tzuchi.org/usa/home.nsf/home/index?OpenDocument

Do you know of other ways we can help? If so, please leave a note in the comments section. Thanks!

peace

Beginning: Preparing for Peace in a Time of War

Christa Avampato

The evening of May 1st at Ground Zero
A number of year ago I had a boss who would routinely consult her copy of Sun Tzu’s The Art of War in our staff meetings. Her favorite saying was, “In a time of peace, we need to prepare for war.” And we worked for an environmental nonprofit. Her perspective bugged me because I always thought Sun Tzu got it wrong; what we really need to do, particularly in this day and age with fighting seemingly everywhere, is to prepare for peace in a time of war.

With Osama bin Laden now gone, we can finally turn our sights to preparing for peace. To be sure the war is not over, not by a long shot. As good as it feels to celebrate the end of Bin Laden’s reign, there are still too many others who wish to do us harm. We still need to remain vigilant, on guard, and careful. That, sadly, may never change.

What we can do is turn our sights toward our sights toward the Middle East and begin to truly rebuild relations. Justice has been served, and with justice comes the beginning of the healing process. Though we have been celebrating the end of bin Laden here for over 24 hours, we must remember that many people in the Middle East, many Muslim Americans are also celebrating. They too can begin healing – this war has happened to them, too, and that was not of their choosing. It was the choosing of a vicious, sick man who thankfully is no longer among us.

My sister, Weez, put up a Facebook status yesterday that really struck me as the most beautiful set of words I heard about the situation and our emotions surrounding it:

May 1st Prayer
Now I lay me down to sleep
one less terrorist this world does keep
with all my heart I give my thanks
to those in uniform regardless of ranks

You serve our country and serve it well
with humble hearts your stories tell
so as I rest my weary eyes
while freedom rings our flag still flies

You give your all, do what you must
with God we live and in God we trust

Amen

religion, television

Beginning: 4 Reasons to Admire and Watch the New CBS Show Blue Bloods

Christa Avampato

With all of the rainy weather we had after all of the snow we had, I got the opportunity to take in some new shows this Winter / early Spring. One of the shows that really struck me as a stand out is Blue Bloods, a unique law enforcement / family drama starring Tom Selleck, Donnie Wahlberg, Bridget Moynahan,Will Estes and Len Cariou. In addition to the fine acting, interesting plot twists, and complex relationships, the show takes risks that are both admirable and thought-provoking.

Strong male characters deeply invested in the their families
Len Cariou plays the grandfather of the Reagan family and the retired Police Commissioner. Tom Selleck is his son and the current Commissioner who carries himself with grace and dignity, both in his role as Commissioner and as the head of the family who deeply loves his children and grandchildren. Both of their wives have passed, leaving them as widowers to care for their family. Donnie Walhberg plays a veteran-turned-detective and family man, equally passionate about both of these roles. It’s refreshing and inspiring to see men taking such a nurturing role in their families that in no way compromises their serious commitments to their careers. The writers could have taken an easier route and written out-of-balance male characters who were so entrenched in their jobs that their family lives suffered. Instead, they wanted their male characters to be good role models for how difficult and how gratifying it is to have balance.

Religion is not taboo
The family is deeply Catholic. Religion is too often a taboo subject, in the world and on the screen. The show makes a decided decision to talk about religion and illustrate how people can reconcile very old traditions with a very modern world. It provides an interesting depth of character and storyline.

4 generations explore the changing times of law enforcement
Law enforcement in New York City is a complicated, multi-limb system. Blue Bloods gives us the opportunity to see a single case and the whole system from a variety of angles, within the police force and from the DA’s office, through the eyes of someone retired from the force, someone who now heads the force, a seasoned detective, a newly-minted officer, and a top-notch attorney. Their opinions and roles often put them in conflict professionally, which forces reconciliation personally around the dinner table. We get the chance to see just how difficult it is to secure justice in this city, and show up every day to try again no matter what happened in the last case. I also enjoy the dimension of the youngest generation who may likely enter careers in public service as adults due to the influence of their family.

A different side of New York City
New Yorkers take pride in knowing their city. Staten Island is the borough people are most unfamiliar with, myself included. I’ve never even set foot on Staten Island. The Reagan family lives there in a beautiful old home, reminding me that there is always another side to New York that I have yet to explore.

This season has two more episodes you can catch (thanks to Kelly for that info and comment!) and some of the previous shows are on the CBS site. I’m sure the full season will soon hit Netflix and Hulu. When it does, you’ll want to make sure to catch up before next Fall. The show airs on Friday nights at 10pm EST / 9pm Central on CBS.

animals, dogs, New York

Beginning: Ringing in Spring at the New York Dachshund Spring Fiesta

Christa Avampato

Phin and I went to the semi-annual NY Dachshund Spring Fiesta yesterday. By 1:30, Washington Square park was filled with hundreds of dachshunds and their parents were enjoying the sunshine, warmth, and fun. Dachshunds are a funny breed because they really do seem to know when they are among other dachshunds. It’s a place to share stories, get advice, and generally tell one another how much we adore this breed.

The event is held the last Saturday of every April and the first Saturday of every October. Only in New York City do you find these kinds of off-the-wall events and hundreds of people who diligently mark their calendars to attend every time. What’s more, there were plenty of people who don’t have dachshunds and come out just to take a look at all of the varied examples of this special pup.

I had to share some pictures with you, the lyrics of the Dachs Song (yes, they have their own anthem!), as well as my favorite quotes of the day. Enjoy, and join me in October! Phin will be glad to introduce you around.

My Favorite Quotes:
“This is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen.”

“No, we don’t have a dog. We’re just here to have a great time with everyone else’s wiener.”

“There’s no way you can keep a dachsie down. You can’t put baby in a corner.”

Lyrics and melody to the Dachs Song
Paul de Vries, Adrian Milton, & Murray Weinstock

To hear the Dachs Song, visit http://www.dachsong.com/

“There’s no other dog like a dachshund,
walking to close to the ground.
They’re stubborn and sly as a fox
and the happiest pet to be found.

Most kinds of dogs seem to either have
shapes or proportions all wrong.
They’re only one way or the other,
but dachshunds are both short and long.

Dachsie, meine dachsie,
the best canine under the sun.
Call you wiener or sausage or hot dog,
We know that you’re number 1.”

Photos

A dachsie pow wow

Shotzie, our trainer Gregg's pup
A dachsie on his wiener leash
A pup who is half dachshie, half rottweiler
Phin takes a break and listens to some toons after meeting so many new friends
care, community, relationships, religion

Beginning: Why and How to Start Understanding the Muslim World

Christa Avampato

From http://truereligiondebate.wordpress.com
Last week I had the great good fortune to see the documentary Koran by Heart at the Tribeca Film Festival. The film tracks the lives of several young people who are contestants in “the world’s preeminent Koran recitation competition in Cairo, where Muslim children come from across the globe to perform in front of a panel of prominent judges. Contestants as young as 7 years old are ranked against kids more than twice their age for both their comprehensive memorization of the 600-page text as well as their improvised melodies.” It is a stunning feat to witness. There is one more screening today at the festival – details here.

The film got me thinking about how little I know about the Muslim world, despite my efforts to consume news until my brain can’t hold any more information. It’s so complex with so many layers. Even classifying it as “the Muslim World” is a disservice. The diversity among Muslims is so vast and spans across so many cultures, languages, nations, and factions. I was reminded of Dr. Lu’s saying that “you can’t understand the Eastern world with a Western mind.” The same is true of understanding Islam. It requires us to shrug off our biases and prejudices, and see the religion and its believers in their own light.

Why? Can’t we pretend that our heads of state will take care of this issue? Can’t we go on just living our U.S. focused lives without delving in to this other complicated part of the world that seems incomprehensible to us at first blush? Sure. You could absolutely pretend it’s not there. However, the world of Islam is increasingly becoming tied to our own national security, indeed our global security as a whole. There are as many as 7 million Muslims living in the U.S., and the number is growing – particularly in urban areas. 1.2 billion people around the world practice Islam. That’s a big, big number.

They are a voice in our society and that voice deserves recognition and understanding, just like yours and just like mine. Additionally, the religion at its core is a beautiful way of living. Too often we associate it with extremism and terrorism. It’s so unfortunate. At its heart, it prescribes a peaceful, harmonious existence and has much to teach us whether we follow its belief or not. Understanding the perspective of another always, always helps create a better world, and isn’t that what we’re all after?

But how? How does a well-intentioned, curious, Western mind begin to understand Islam and its place in the world? I wondered, too, and put this list of resources together in the hopes that it may begin to tear down the wall that for too long has existed between us. I hope you find these resources helpful.

4 Resources to Begin Learning About Islam
1.) Leap of Faith by Queen Noor of Jordan

2.) A 5 minute video that introduces Islam to non-Muslims

3.) Website dedicated to introducing the beliefs of Islam to non-Muslims

4.) The book Introduction to Islam by Frederick Mathewson Denny

celebration, choices, clarity, courage

Beginning: You Already Have What You’re Looking For

Christa Avampato

“What we see is mainly what we look for.” -Unknown via Tiny Buddha

I recently had a conversation with someone who said nothing ever goes her way. She’s been way down in the dumps for years. I have my occasional bad day, perhaps even a bad week. By all means, feel your feelings. Just make sure that the negative ones that don’t help make your situation any better have a hard expiration date.

How to “snap out of it” (without a smack in the face a la Moonstruck)
If my bad mood persists beyond a few days, I force myself to get out my computer and start clacking away on a list of great blessings I have to be grateful for. And if that doesn’t work then I turn to the news and start taking note of all the people in the world who have a much harder life than I do. It’s not long before I’m kicking myself for wasting any precious moment feeling sorry for myself. I lead a charmed life – I work for it, and still I know so many of my blessings found their way to my door by chance. As Joan Ganz Cooney famously said, “I am always prepared to be lucky.” It’s the best way to live.

We all get what we settle for
My friend, Trevin, and I continuously joke that we are the kind of people who hope for the best and expect the worst. To a large extent, I think that is still true. I like to feel prepared for whatever this crazy world throws my way. One of my business school professors once commented to me that the secret to his happy life was low expectations, which led him to constantly be surprised and delighted. I have a hard time arguing that idea from a logical point-of-view. However, the yogi and teacher in me asks that I aim higher. Disappointment while upsetting at first does lead to transformation and growth, two things I aspire to do all the time.

Exactly what you want is already at hand
A truth I’ve come to know is that the more ardently you keep your eyes and ears peeled for what (and who!) you want in your life, the more likely you are to recognize it when it crosses your path. It’s true of love, friendship, career, luck, and hope. It’s quite possible that you can will the life you want into being the life you have. It’s more likely that the life you want is already accessible to you in some way if you pick your head up, take look around, and grab the opportunities right under your nose.

Seek, and you will truly see all that is attainable.

books, career, courage, encouragement, experience, leader, leadership

Beginning: You Have All the Power You Need

Christa Avampato

“New seed is faithful. It roots deepest in the places that are most empty…And so it came to be that over time this field, opened by burning – this field, fallow and waiting – drew just the right strangers, just the right seeds to itself. What is this faithful process of spirit & seed that touches empty ground and makes it rich again? Whatever we set our days to might be the least of what we do, if we do not understand that something is waiting for us to make ground for it, something that lingers near us, something that loves, something that waits for the right ground to be made so it can make its full presence known.” ~ Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes

I read Dr. Estes book Women Who Run with the Wolves many years ago. It remains a faithful guide all of these years later. Its pages are well-worn and yellowed. I regularly read its opening passage, particularly when I’m afraid and lonely. It’s stories quite literally began to shape the person I am today. They empowered me to realize that I can carve my own road toward a future of my design.

So it was with great excitement that I discovered that Dr. Estes had written another book, this one a novela entitled The Faithful Gardener: A Wise Tale About That Which Can Never Die. I read it in one sitting. Dr. Estes tells the tale of her Uncle who got to the end of his rope and wanted to take his power back. He set a field aflame as an invitation for new life to seed there.

In our lives, we collect clutter. Relationships that no longer serve. A job that no longer interests us. Commitments that no longer provide fulfillment. Slowly, drop by drop, our lives sometimes become something we never wanted them to be. This can leave us feeling paralyzed, regretful, and embarrassed.

This is exactly the myth that Dr. Estes dispels by sharing her Uncle’s story with us in The Faithful Gardner. One day last week, I arrived at a meditation class feeling powerless and through the meditation realized that the only one taking away my power was me. Dr. Estes explains this same principle in her book – we are all more powerful than we give ourselves credit for being.

This same idea reared its head over the weekend as I watched the documentary Stress: Portrait of a Killer. In several scientific studies, it has been found that if you perceive yourself at the bottom of the pecking order in life then your health and longevity are severely compromised. If you want to live a happy, healthier, longer life, it is critical that you find an outlet that allows you to feel in control of your own destiny. And that outlet doesn’t have to be your career or household. You could be the captain of your softball team, the leader of a charitable project, or a responsible dog owner. Somewhere in your life you need to have the opportunity to take the reigns, and if that’s not happening naturally in your life by some wonderful twist of fate, then you need to make it happen for yourself.

There’s no reason to play the victim. We all have the ability to build better lives, for ourselves and for those around us. You don’t need more schooling or experience or permission. It is yours for the taking. The only question is courage and confidence. Can you stand up and be counted? Will you make your voice heard? Can you release everything in your life that doesn’t benefit you for the sake of making room for something that truly matters? Your life literally depends on it.