“It pays to be honest, but it’s slow pay.” ~ Proverb via Tiny Buddha
I recently met a new colleague who shares a lot of the sentiments I have about yoga, meditation, and what really matters in life. It was a refreshing introduction and a reminder that wherever you are, there are like minds. You may need to draw them out by trumpeting your own beliefs. As Clarissa Pinkola Estes said so beautifully, “She who does not howl will never find her pack.”
This path of finding your pack is not easy. It requires courage and faith. You will be asked to think and act like every one around you. You will have to be brave to be authentic. You will be told that thinking and acting like everyone around you is what you need to do to get ahead when the truth is a that thinking and acting like everyone else is a farce. That group persona doesn’t represent the persona of any individual member. It’s a vague meet-in-the-middle, mediocre compromise. And it doesn’t serve anyone well.
My advice, as I’ve given before, is to Be on Record. Be respectful of your environment while also being who you are. Listen and then speak up. Yes, honesty yields slow pay, but it carries a greater guarantee of a purposeful life in the long run. Steady, and authentic, wins the race.
While I was doing my yoga teacher training, a number of my training friends and I were frustrated with our progress. We were all searching for a greater sense of understanding of very complex ideas in our own practices. One of our instructors, Jeffrey, gave us some very sound advice that sticks with me every day: Enjoy the view, whatever it is, wherever you are. There is always something to see from every vantage point.
Every step we take, every experience we have, is unique. We will never have the chance to relive it exactly as it is in this moment. It’s a snapshot that we need to grab a hold of and appreciate for all that it has to offer us. There is so much learning and wisdom available at every moment. It is a reason for gratitude. Even the trying moments, perhaps especially the trying moments, are here for a reason.
I often wish life was easier. I wish it didn’t take so much difficulty for us to learn some lessons. But we are complex beings, and as a result create complex systems and circumstances. I try to take the long view as often as I can. I try to remember that everything I experience supports my own evolution and development. Whenever I feel my frustration rising, I try to remember that this moment, like every other moment, will pass. What will ultimately make a difference is what I do with each of these experiences going forward and that has everything to do with how I progress.
Matthew Sanford“I have never seen anyone truly become more aware of his or her body without also becoming more compassionate.” ~ Matthew Sanford, yoga teacher and author Waking: A Memoir of Trauma and Transcendence
My Uncle Tom recently recommended Matthew Sanford to me after hearing him speak. Given my devotion to yoga and my desire to use it to serve the healing of those who are working through trauma, he thought Matthew’s story and message would immediately resonate with me. My uncle knows me well. Upon reading his website and getting only a small glimpse into his experience, I was entranced.I felt like I really needed to hear this story at this moment and connect with Matthew.
So it was a wonderful and synchronous surprise that Matthew is in town for the New York Yoga Journal Conference. He gave a talk yesterday that was open to the public – many thanks to my pal, Yogadork, for cluing me into the event. I had no idea he would be speaking in town and would have been so upset if I had missed the opportunity to hear him talk about his personal and professional work with trauma. Much to my delight, he was even more intriguing and engaging in person than he is in his book. I didn’t think this was possible because I loved the book so much. I could hardly believe it. It’s like hearing a musician who sounds even better in person than he does on his hit album.
I sat with my friend, Erica, of Yogoer fame, and she described Matthew’s style perfectly. “He sifted through so much information that I have in my own mind and didn’t know how to articulate.” His words are poignant, authentic, and perfectly selected without feeling rehearsed. All without notes, nor a single pause or “um”. I could have listened to him all afternoon. My only disappointment was that his hour-long talk passed too quickly.
He discussed his area of expertise – the depth and breadth of the mind-body connection and its ability, when fully manifested in each of us, to change the world. He explained how important it is for our own happiness and for the good of the world for each of us to move in so that we can move out. The answers to all our challenges are within us already, no outside resource necessary. We know what to do, if only we would take the time to listen to the wisdom in our own bodies, in our own hearts. We have the ability to alter our own reality, and the greater world around us, by redefining our experience in this very moment. We have the ability, right now, to change everything. “The principles of yoga don’t discriminate,” Matthew said. How true that is. If you can breathe, just breathe, you can access all of the wisdom that yoga has to give.
My favorite sentiment from Matthew’s book is the connection he draws between awareness and compassion. I am particularly drawn to this idea because of my one word purpose that I’ve been working with this year: awareness. When I heard Dr. Chopra speak earlier this year, he inspired me to go looking for this one word purpose as a direction for all of my work. Awareness, to wake up and help others do the same, rose to the top.
Matthew and his story helped me make the next leap on my journey. What do I do once I wake up, once I can be fully aware at every moment? What is the point of attaining awareness? My compassion will grow as a result. And with compassion, real healing begins. As Matthew so brilliantly stated, “Compassion gives us a way to sit with suffering and not try to fix it.” And if we can sit with suffering long enough, we will find that it begins to dissipate on its own without a threat of returning. By being present with suffering, we give it a container to empty into and then we can melt it down, taking only its lessons with us and releasing the pain and confusion it causes.
Letting go takes time; compassion achieved through awareness gives us the necessary patience to allow for the process of letting go to progress. It gives us the time we need, for our own healing and to help others heal, too.
For more information about Matthew and his work, visit his website.
My friend, Amanda, and I went to see Bridesmaids on its opening night. A group outing was promoted by G.L.O.C., Gorgeous Ladies of Comedy. Amanda, being a comedic actress and one of the funniest people I know, asked if I’d like to join her in supporting the movie and I didn’t hesitate to switch my plans and happily join her. The film is laugh out-loud funny with a whole host of stand-out performances and brilliant writing. It also felt great to be in a theater of women supporting other women in their creative endeavors, an activity that just doesn’t happen often enough. We need more of it.
It reminded me of the competitive streak that runs through us all, and yet seems to most prominently rear its ugly head as women duke it out with one another. There’s some of that tension in Bridesmaids as well, though I loved the twists and turns that the movie takes on this theme. Two of the bridesmaids go head-to-head right from the get-go but the incredibly talented Kristen Wiig, writer and leading lady of the movie, doesn’t let the stereotype go stale. She reminds us that every outward feeling we have toward another person, no matter the reason, is a reflection of how we feel about ourselves and the direction of our own lives. It’s a tough fact to accept though Wiig has a way of making this difficult and prickly subject feel fresh, vibrant, and something we can own.
The film also illustrates a story of regret, forgiveness, and redemption. It stands as an example of the magic that comes from brutally honesty with ourselves and others. That honesty is the foundation for the heartfelt, meaningful relationships that gives us the opportunity to learn a little more about ourselves everyday. Bridemaids is a perfect example of truth in comedy at its finest.
“You look really good for 35.” One of my co-workers said that to me this week. I adore her and I know she meant it as a compliment though it struck me as such an odd thing to say. Exactly what does 35 look like? I turned 35 in March and detailed out 35 things I’ve learned along the way in this lifetime. As I wrote the post, I was continually surprised by how un-35 I felt.
The other day I was brushing my teeth and it happened. One little lone white hair. I immediately ran to Google and found that stray white hairs can happen at any age and one really doesn’t signify anything. I looked a little closer at the mirror. No wrinkles yet. “Good,” I thought. “This oily skin of mine has some upside.” I promptly started to see a dermatologist for the first time in my life to make sure I keep this skin as long as possible. No matter what Google says, that little white hair was a wake-up call. Time is passing by, like it or not. I was surprised by my reaction. Maybe I am not as okay with aging as I thought I was.
And then I saw this Guatemalan proverb on Daily Good’s email. It made me laugh at all my determination to not get older, or at least not to look like I’m getting older. In my heart, I’m still sorting it all out, still experimenting, and still beginning. Now I’m starting to realize that perhaps this sorting is a lifelong process, for the young and the young at heart.
I’m reminded of Sandra Cisnero‘s writing that says we are always all the ages we’ve ever been. We carry that experience, that memory, that outlook with us. Whether or not we have white hair and wrinkles, there’s a part of our heart that is always young. And that is a comfort at any age.
Yogiraj Alan Finger, Founder of ISHTALast week I went to an information session at ISHTA for yoga teacher training. About a year ago I completed by 200 hour level teacher training at Sonic and since then have been tossing around the idea of doing a 500 level training. I almost took that up at Sonic, though I had some reservations about the style, scheduling, and cost of the program at Sonic. I have also increasingly become interested in a more integrated holistic approach with yoga as a piece of the pie combined with Ayurveda and therapeutics. This interest in a holistic approach led me to ISHTA (which stands for Integrated System of Hatha, Tantra, and Ayurveda.)
The info session included a mini class which felt very familiar to me and in line with the way I approach my own teaching. Alan Finger, the founder of ISHTA, offered a meditation that felt good to my heart. His approach, and the approach of all of his teachers, focuses on helping each teacher find his or her own voice, their own best version of the practice. I like the personalization and the feeling of openness and acceptance I found nestled into their safe space on East 11th Street. I was able to relax and smile in the warmth and glow of that community. It felt comfortable, like home.
I have decided to explore the possibility of further teacher training for three main reasons:
1.) The 200 hour training certainly improves an individual’s practice and further understanding of yoga. What it doesn’t teach you is now to teach. While sequencing and practice teaching were certainly a part of my 200 hour training, there simply are not enough hours to delve deeply into the art and craft of teaching. I have a natural gift for teaching, though I want to have the opportunity to hone that skill under the guidance of a master teacher.
2.) Because of my interest in therapeutic yoga, and specifically in the area of trauma, I need further training in anatomy and neurophysiology. While I have been reading books and materials on the subject, the cases I’m most interested in working on are with populations like veterans, disaster survivors, civic workers like those in the police and fire departments, and rehabilitation patients. This is very specialized work and in order to help these people to the very best of my abilities I want to feel confident that I am fully prepared to help them through these challenges.
3.) My favorite part of my teacher training at Sonic was the group of beautiful souls that I traveled through the training with. They have become a precious part of my life and if there is an opportunity to have that experience again while gaining all of these skills that I’m so passionate about then I’m glad to snap up the opportunity!
Timing
Now the question remains about timing. ISHTA has a program coming up in the Fall that will be happening right around the time that I plan to move to a new apartment and possibly begin my next career adventure. This could be challenging so it will be a few months before I know how everything is shaking out. I promise to share the details here and soon as I have all my yogic ducks in a row! Thanks for sharing in this journey with me.
“The only way to pass any test is to take the test. It is inevitable.” ~ Elder Regal Black Swan, leader of “the Real People”
My friend, Pam, was a private yoga client of mine. For her Christmas present she wanted more yoga in her life and her lovely mom graciously made that possible. Pam and I have known each other since we were in elementary school and reconnecting with her through yoga was a wonderful treat!
After our last session, Pam sent me the book Mutant Message Down Under, the story of an American woman who travels barefoot on 1,400 mile walk-about through the Australian Outback accompanied by “the Real People”. They are an aboriginal tribe who live off the land for all of their vital needs. Whether the story is true or mythical is one of the most fascinating parts of the book. Marlo Morgan describes the story as truth, though fully acknowledges that the Australian government does not believe the events ever happened because they have no record of “the Real People” and Marlo Morgan refuses to introduce the two parties in an effort to protect “the Real People” and their way of life. The result is an incredibly wise tale so mythical that we also wonder if it is really possible.
To begin the adventure, “the Real People” explain that they have decided to remove themselves and their 50,000-year history from this planet. They believe they have done what they can do to help this world along, and that the time has come for them to leave. They will not create any more offspring so that when the last of their tribe passes away, they will all be gone. They have invited Marlo Morgan to Australia so that she will share their story and their belief system with a wider audience.
Their lessons are so simple and yet so powerful. They show Marlo how there is no separation between their souls – they regularly speak via telepathy. They show her the balance they obtain on a daily basis between courage and compassion, challenge and empathy. They are not beings living on the Earth, but rather a part of a cohesive whole. The wisdom within their own minds and hearts is an extension of the wisdom offered to all of us every day by our natural world. There is no need for them to ask for guidance on anything because guidance is always with them, within them. They teach us that it’s within us, too.
The part of the book that resonates with me most is the quest and fulfillment of purpose. Not what job you’re meant to have, or place you’re meant to live, but real purpose. When you crossover from this existence in this body to the next plane, what handful of words will be used to describe who you are. This is the only work of “the Real People” – to find and live their purpose, to know, understand, and experience their one true gift. To solidify this purpose, they give themselves a new name once their purpose is discovered. Marlo Morgan, in honor of “the Real People”, gives herself the name Traveling Tongue.
It’s a notion worthy of everyone’s contemplation. When we peel away our titles, our belongings, and our accomplishments, who are we? What name would we give ourselves? What is the singular purpose that threads through our existence this time around?
Getting to the root of an issue is so much harder than we’re willing to admit. We throw that phrase around as if getting to the heart of the matter is child’s play. It’s a difficult, trying task. Treating symptoms of a situation is the easy way out, in the same way that doing what’s modeled instead of what we know to be right is an easier path. We can see and feel symptoms. They’re real, tangible, and can be masked. Treating a root cause of a challenge is a longer term bet, and yet it is the very best use of our time and energy. It’s a slower but more sustainable process. It requires us to take the long view.
If we are truly interested in healing, in getting to the heart of a matter and building from there, how do we bring that about? How do we maintain our belief in the long view when short-term gain is the easier road?
3 ways to focus on the long-term: Meditate on reputation – Buddha said, “What you are is what you have been. What you’ll be is what you do now.” The reputation you have now is largely based upon what you’ve already done. This means that the actions you take today, tomorrow, and beyond will be the basis for your reputation in the future. What do you want to be known for? To make that happen in the future, you can start to take action against that today.
Chart your progress – what gets measured gets done. When you begin a new project or make the decision to take your life in a new direction, track your wins both big and small. This will also help you identify patterns of success that you can repeat.
Look to the stories of others for inspiration – the stories that stick with us are those of perseverance, those that describe how someone overcomes a great obstacle that seemed impossible. Nelson Mandela said that, “Everything seems impossible until it’s done.” Take heart that everyone whoever began any kind of healing, any kind of challenge faced odds that seemed insurmountable. You are in good company.
The late great Babe Ruth - a man who never gave up
“It’s hard to beat a person who never gives up.” ~ Babe Ruth via @Inspire_Us
Last week I attended a wonderful event put on by BizeeBee, the creator of software to help yoga studios and instructors better manage their business, and the always delightful Yogadork. Poornima and Jennilyn, the gracious hosts, put together a list of questions to get our small group talking and sharing ideas of how to grow our yoga businesses and what products and services would be helpful. To no surprise my pitta nature (a.k.a., my fiery, supportive, build-your-own-road persona) was present in full force. I was surrounded by really talented yogis who have something very vital to offer this world. I didn’t want to see them sell themselves short.
One woman explained that she was trying to grow her private client list through partnership and one of the partners she wanted to work with was a flake. I’m sorry to say that some stereotypes exist for a reason, and some yoga instructors are not known for their timely responses, nor for organization. I told this very talented, obviously caring teacher that she couldn’t let a flakey partner prevent her from moving forward. That flakey partner doesn’t deserve her – time to move on and find a new partner.
Non-yogic, you say? Isn’t yoga all about sunshine and rainbows and butterflies? Sure – just make sure you can live your yoga teaching existence in la-la land. I live my yoga teaching existence in NYC, and in case no one told you yoga teachers here are a dime a dozen. Now when I meet new people I just assume they also have a 200 hour certification or know someone else who does. It’s that prevalent. I don’t make my living teaching yoga, but it’s a nice boost to my bank account and it gives me a feeling of real purpose and usefulness. When I teach I am part of something greater than myself, and that’s why I want to teach as much as I can. This means I have to hustle, network, and dedicate a lot of time to drumming up new business. All teachers, particularly new ones, need to do the same thing.
What I find unconscionable is that yoga training programs don’t tell you that piece of the puzzle. They take your money to the tune of $2500+, leading you to believe that this brand new life is just around the bend waiting for you. They hand you a certificate of completion, maybe give you a couple of hours about the business of being a yoga instructor, and send you on your way into the big wide world. It can feel like someone just stole your wallet and tossed you off a cliff. How’s that for non-yogic? It’s sickening.
There is a “traditional” path that you can follow. You pledge undying allegiance to a studio where you trained, pay an additional boatload of money to take classes at that studio or take more training, and hope you may get to sub (which can be very last-minute and at unfortunate times like 7am on a Monday), do a community by-donation class, and then land a regular gig. That works very well for some people, and by all means I applaud them for finding their success! I couldn’t take that road. It didn’t feel authentic and my schedule is too hectic to take a road that I didn’t design myself. I also have a mountain of school loans to pay. Plus, I think the system really takes advantage of new teachers and I didn’t want to feed that system.
I put together this list of ideas of how to land your first yoga teaching gigs if that traditional road isn’t for you. I hope you find them helpful or know someone whom you can pass them on to. Got questions? Leave a comment on this post or contact me via email or Twitter.
5 ways to land your first yoga teaching gigs:
1.) Offer up your teaching services for free. This will give you experience and practice. Teaching is a muscle – to get better at it, you have to practice whenever and wherever you can. If you’re interested in teaching free classes through nonprofit organizations, check out my Karmi’s Angels program that I created through Compass Yoga.
2.) Check Craig’s List. That’s how I found my first gig. New York Methodist Hospital needed a yoga teacher for pediatrics, geriatric psych, and physical rehab. I wanted to teach in a therapeutic setting to see if that might be my teacher calling. Happily, it was a match!
3.) Get your basic business building blocks in place: business cards, a website, a blog, a twitter account, and a Linked-in profile. Not a blogger? Don’t worry – just post links to yoga stories that you find interesting and of course give credit to the sources. Promoting the work of others is a great way to network that has great karmic value. Start putting yourself out there and when you meet people who are interested in your expertise, you will have a place to send them for more info.
4.) Fill a niche. Think about what you have to offer as a teacher, and then find a population that needs your skills. There is no end to the number of places and types of people who need more yoga. I wanted to work with underserved populations, people who don’t have access to regular yoga classes. Nonprofits were perfect partners for me to contact, and I sent off email after email until I filled up my roster to the point that I had to start passing gigs to other yoga teachers. It’s a lot of work, but I really wanted to teach and the work paid off.
5.) Don’t give up. Seriously. You will be tempted. You will kick yourself wondering what on Earth ever possessed you to spend all that money on teacher training. Instead, channel that energy into determination. Take a note from the late great Babe Ruth. It’s really true – you can’t lose if you never give up. You’ll find your road, I promise you. There may be some wrong turns and dead ends. Don’t let that deter you. If you really want to teach, you’ll find your students.
I made a donation to Reay for Life in honor of my mom this Mother's DayHappy Mother’s Day to all the moms of the world, those tireless champions of ours who believe we can and will do anything we set our hearts and minds to. This Mother’s Day instead of sending my mom flowers and gifts, I donated to her favorite charity on her behalf. She asked me to donate to the American Cancer Society’s Relay for Life. For the past several years she has done the Survivor’s Lap on her friend, Leslie’s, team. Now that she has retired and moved away, she’ll be missing the event.
My donation gave Mom a way to stay connected and support the cause. She is a cancer survivor and a number of our family members and family friends have battled the disease. It’s become so common in our society now that all of us know someone touched by it. Relay for Life gives us a way to collectively fight back – a powerful lesson my mom has taught me repeated throughout my life. There is strength in mothers, strength in being part of a movement.
Yesterday The Nate Berkus Show featured a number of stories about viewer’s moms. While the gifts and surprises that the featured moms received were incredibly generous, the most touching part of the show involved the the children of these moms explaining why their moms were so important to them. It reminded me of how much words can mean when backed by heart and soul.
This Mother’s Day I hope you’ll pick up the phone or take pen to paper and let your Mom know how much her care and support means. Love and gratitude can never be over-communicated.
“It pays to be honest, but it’s slow pay.” ~ Proverb via Tiny Buddha
Christa Avampato 